Twin Peaks Action Figures? We Can Only Dream.

Posted by Cedar Burnett | Thursday, February 9th 2012

Try not to cry, rapidly aging hipsters: It’s been 20 years since Twin Peaks’ oh-so-disturbingly awesome “Fire Walk With Me,” and nostalgia is running high. One need only hear the opening strains of the synthesized theme music to be transported back to a time when scripted TV was unapologetically quirky…and by “quirky,” we mean weird as hell. If, like us, you always wished you could carry a little Agent Cooper around in your pocket, take heart. There’s talk of turning Special Agent Dale Cooper into an action figure. But what of the others, you ask? Here’s our suggestions for some of the best characters to turn into talking dolls, and what we would have them say:

BOBBY: The crazy eyes, the floppy 90’s skater boy hair, his weird overall resemblance to the CGI werewolf in Harry Potter – Bobby’s got it all. Pull the string on his back and he’s got the “sweetest” lines for his lady, or question him and watch him freak out.
NADINE: Her red hair, strong jaw, and eye patch make her iconic. Her one liners make her a star. Accessories include drapes and cotton balls.
AGENT COOPER: Be still my beating heart! Whether rhapsodizing about nature in the Northwest, whittling, recording messages for Diane, or just stuffing his face with a donut, Agent Cooper is a tall drink of damn good coffee.
LEO: The man who single-handedly removed sex appeal from the dude ponytail could be yours to display. Choose from pre-shot Leo (comes with a truck, rifle, and gas cans) and post-shot Leo (comes with party hat, kazoo, and wheelchair).
SHELLY: Everybody’s favorite high school dropout/waitress comes with a bathrobe, apron, gun, and pack of cigarettes. Pull the string to hear her lie to Leo and flirt with Bobby.
LOG LADY: Her log saw something that night, and now you can ask it yourself. From her Native-themed sweater coat to her giant glasses, down to the log in all its splintery splendor, this is one doll you’ll want to pump for wisdom. Owls not included.
LUCY AND ANDY: This tender-hearted duo should be sold as a set. Have fun brushing Lucy’s hair into increasingly dizzying heights, have her transfer calls, or use Andy to hold your donuts. Police station sold separately.
JAMES: Pouty McPouterson was every girl’s dream guy when Twin Peaks came out. The motorcycle! The sensitivity! The angst! Now you can dress him up in his bomber jacket and make him write poetry on his blog.


  • jeremy

    hello, i am french looking for some picture from twin peaks of high quality to print on photo paper. I ‘am looking particulary for the picture of Dale cooper in front of giant in red room. Anyone can help me. Thanxs

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