Jackie Gleason ‘Smokey and the Bandit’ Quotes
One of the signature movies of the late 1970s was Smokey and the Bandit. The chemistry between Smokey, played by a blustering Jackie Gleason, and the cocky, grinning Bandit as played by then-heartthrob Burt Reynolds was the anchor for much of the film’s comedy. While many audience-goers went to check out the ultra-cool Trans Am, they left laughing over the interplay between Smokey and the Bandit. Certainly, Jackie Gleason was one of the comedic greats of the 20th century, and he made the most of the lines he was given in this comedy classic:
1. Junior: My hat blew off, Daddy.
Buford T. Justice: I hope your goddamn head was in it.
Junior’s and Justice’s car takes a significant beating throughout the movie as they pursue Bandit across the country, and after the sheriff’s vehicle loses its top, Justice loses his cool – yet again – on his dimwitted son.
2. Justice: Hey, Boy, where’s Sheriff Branford?
Branford: I’m Sheriff Branford.
Justice: Oh, hey. For some reason or another, you sounded a little taller on the radio.
Justice and his overly racist outlook on life catches up with him after Sheriff Branford crashes his car and Justice realizes Branford is black.
3. Justice: Nobody makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s pecker.
Junior: Except for that…
Justice: Shut your ass.
The Bandit has, once again, made Justice look very bad.
4. Branford: The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation.
Justice: The goddamn Germans got nothin’ to do with it!
Justice refuses to acknowledge that he is out of his jurisdiction when Branford reminds him he isn’t sheriff through his county.
5. Justice: And as the pursuer, may I say you’re the goddamnedest pursuee I ever pursued.
Bandit has just crossed the finish line and gotten the prize money from Big Enos, much to Justice’s chagrin.
6. Justice: Just keep your eye out for that Mr. Bandit bastard!
Junior and Justice go into a cafe to get something to eat. Unbeknownst to them, Bandit is also there.
7. Justice: There’s no way, no way… that you could come from my loins. When I get home, the first thing I’m gonna do is punch your mama in the mouth.
After Junior lets Bandit get away again, Justice berates his son for his lack of intelligence.
8. Justice: I can see her now, runnin’ back up that aisle… No, she was dancin’ back up the aisle, her knockers bouncin’ all over the joint.
Justice is enraged that Carrie left Junior at the altar, and is reflecting on what just happened.
9. Justice: If they had cremated the son of a bitch, I could’ve been kickin’ that Mr. Bandit’s ass around the moon by now.
Justice’s and Junior’s pursuit of Bandit gets delayed by a long funeral procession, which only adds fuel to Justice’s already healthy fire.
10. Justice: Let me have a diablo sandwich, a Dr Pepper. Make it fast. I’m in a goddamn hurry.
While Smokey and the Bandit may lack the CGI flash that’s so much a part of films today, its comedy stands up to the passage of time. There’s no denying the chemistry between Reynolds and Gleason, and while some actors may have tried to duplicate that sort of comedic magic, the original is always the best.