If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one [Verse One] I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed Rap critics they say he's "Money Cash Hoes" I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those If you grew up with holes in ya zapatos You'd be celebrating the minute you was havin' dough I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward I got beef with radio if i don't play they show They don't play my hits i don't give a shit SO Rap mags try and use my black ass So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers I don't know what you take me as, Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has I'm from rags to ritches niggas I ain't dumb I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one Hit me [Chorus] 99 problems but the bitch aint one If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one Hit me [Verse Two] The year's '94 and my trunk is raw In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin' law I got two choices y'all pull over the car or (hmmm) Bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor Now I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jay. Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case So I...pull over to the side of the road I heard "Son do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?" Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hats real low? Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'? "Well you was doin fifty-five in a fifty-fo' " "Liscense and registration and step out of the car" "Are you carryin' a weapon on you I know a lot of you are" I ain't steppin out of shit all my paper's legit "Well, do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?" Well my glove compartment is locked so are the trunk in the back And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that "Aren't you sharp as a tack, you some type of lawyer or something'?" "Or somebody important or somethin'?" Nah, I ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit Enough that you won't illegally search my shit "We'll see how smart you are when the K9 come" I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one Hit me [Chorus] 99 Problems but a bitch ain't one if you havin girl problems i feel bad for you son I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one hit me 99 Problems but a bitch ain't one if you havin girl problems i feel bad for you son I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one Hit me [Verse Three] Now once upon a time not too long ago A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy But a pussy havin no God Damn sense, try and push me I tried to ignore him and talk to the Lord Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform You know the type loud as a motor bike But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight The only thing that's gonna happen is I'ma get to clappin He and his boys gon be yappin to the captain And there I go trapped in the kit kat again Back through the system with the riff raff again Fiends on the floor scratchin again paparazzi's with they cameras snappin them D.A. tried to give the nigga shaft again Half-a-mil for bail cause I'm African All because this fool was harrasin' them Tryin to play the boy like hes saccarin But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how I hold my gun I got 99 problems being a bitch ain't one. Hit me [Chorus X3] You're crazy for this one Rick It's your boy
This is a mash up of the songs 99 Luftballons, by Nena, and 99 Problems by Jay-Z.