Alonzo: "Tell me a story." Jake: "Like my story?" Alonzo: "No, not your story, a story. Since you can't keep your mouth shut long enough for me to read my paper, tell me a story." Jake: "I don't think I know any stories." Alonzo: "You don't know any stories?" Jake: "Nah." Alonzo: "All right, I'll tell you a story. This is a newspaper, right? It's 90% bullshit, but it's entertaining. That's why I read it, because it entertains me. You won't let me read it, so you entertain me with your bullshit. Tell me a story right now. Go."