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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "How tall are you private?" Cowboy: "Sir, five foot nine, sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You tryin' to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?" Cowboy: "Sir, no sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you been cheated! Where in the hell are you from anyway, private?" Cowboy: "Sir, Texas, sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?" Cowboy: "Sir, no sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Are you a peter puffer?" Cowboy: "Sir, no sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "I'll bet you're the kinda guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you."