Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Holy Jesus! What is that? What the fuck is that? WHAT IS THAT, PRIVATE PYLE?" Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "A jelly doughnut?" Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, yes sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "How did it get here?" Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Pyle?" Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, no sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts, Private Pyle?" Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, no sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "And why not, Private Pyle?" Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Pyle!"