"Dear Mom, "I just thought I'd write and tell you this. A mother-in-law is the most criticized, the most misunderstood, and the most defenseless of all women. The average woman must be clever enough to know when to speak, but a mother-in-law must know when to keep silent. She must be very wise. Wise enough, sometimes, to withhold advice, although she knows the answer to the problem. A mother-in-law must sit on a fence between her own child, and a child by marriage. And somehow, she must keep her balance. She must lean backwards until her spine aches. Or else she's accused of being partial and she isn't permitted the luxury of hurt feelings or tears. If a person could put themselves in their mother-in-law's place, weigh her in the balance, be completely fair, they'd nominate her for the presidency of the United States. And she'd be the first woman to make it."

Ralph reading his own letter to his mother-in-law.