Kevin: By the way my street name is K-Spa.
David: K-Spa? You know…the uh…does that have anything to do, is that like a Twitter kind of a deal because I don’t know anything about Twitter but I’m just guessing…
Kevin: I am on Twitter my business partner basically made me drink the Kool-Aid. So I’m on Twitter now, I’ve been on for about 3 months.
David: Does it cost you money to be on Twitter?
Kevin: No it doesn’t cost you money?!
David: I don’t know how you…I don’t know how it works.
Kevin: A penny for every letter. Show expensive Dave. Are you on Twitter?
David: No, I can’t afford it. I don’t know anything about the Twitter.
Kevin: I am on Twitter. In fact I can Twitter right now.
David: Now right now you could launch this and where would that go?
Kevin: All over the world. I’ve been on 3 months and people follow you or you can follow people. I have over 800,000 people following me. Now right now, Dave, what would you like to say to 800,000 people because you’d never get that many watching at night.
David: I wish my dog was here. I didn’t have a dog. Well…I’m curious…
Kevin: What would you like to say?
David: Well how much does it cost?
Kevin: For you Dave, I’m going to give you the summer special.
David: Just hi kids.
Kevin: Dave says hi kids.
David: Now you have to do that with your thumbs?
Kevin: You are not only the cheapest man in show business you’re the laziest man in show business.
David: When I learned to type I use all 10, all 10 digits you would type with. And that’s how I type and so I’m not going to Twitter.
Kevin: I’m using thumbs. Now see Dave says hi, on Letterman. Updating, sending your Tweet.
David: Now where does that go?
Kevin: It goes all over. Anyone who’s following me. Anyone following me in the audience? Success!
David: So that was it?
Kevin: That’s it. And now, I’ll get, in about an hour, lots and lots of people saying ‘hi’ back. From all over the world. People that don’t even get your show.
David: That really is a miracle. I can go out here in 53rd and Broadway and get people to say hi to me. I don’t need any of this. Hey Dave! Hey! Now is it fun? Now a lot of those activities can be addicting. Do you find yourself addicted?
Kevin: Well it is fun. Although there is, I guess, that there is a Twitter etiquette. People don’t like it, I guess this is also true with e-mails and texts; they don’t like it when you capitalize.
David: Why not?
Kevin: Because they think you’re yelling at them?
David: Well that’s stupid.
Kevin: I know. And they also don’t like the explanation point. Don’t overuse that. And sometimes humor gets really lost. Like John Stamos, you know John Stamos he’s been on the show hasn’t he? Never?
David: I think he has.
Kevin: Stamos got on Twitter recently and I was making a joke because he was having a difficult time learning how to use his thumbs and how much it cost…
David: Kind of testy about the whole thing isn’t he?
Kevin: And so I sent him a Tweet that said John, have you already managed to block yourself because you can block people if you don’t want people to follow you. And literally within an hour thousands of people saying oh be kind to John, come on he’s new on Twitter. I was making a joke with a friend of mine, calm down you Tweets.
David: You know what it reminds me of? I’m thinking it reminds me a little bit of…oh yeah a waste of time.
Kevin Spacey tries to explain to David Letterman what Twitter is all about.