Woman: I contacted the animal shelter right next to the humane society because I want to have a cat put to sleep. They said to call the police if it’s considered an emergency. I want to have my cat put to sleep.
Operator: I don’t know what you want the police to do about it.
Woman: Are you the police?
Operator: Yes, we are.
Woman: Do you have some kind of measure where they do something with the cat in case there is a real emergency where it’s not as detrimental to the other person? He’s detrimental to me, he’s scared of me. And I’m reacting to the fact that he’s scared of me so I’m scared of being in my apartment being with him, alone with him. Because he scares me, because he’s scared of me. And we’re reacting to each other. And I certainly…I’m not an inhumane person and I would never let the cat out the back door and just let it roam around. I want to make sure it’s put to sleep.
Operator: Well how long has he been acting like this?
Woman: Forever. So I want…
Operator: What do you mean forever?
Woman: Forever. For as long as I’ve had him it’s forever.
Operator: Okay, so why is it so important today then?
Woman: Well anyway can you have him put to sleep today?
Operator: I can’t, no.
Woman: Well who does it?
Operator: Animal Control does it and if they’re not there today then there is nothing I can do to help you.
Woman: The machine said to call the police to report an emergency.
Operator: Will you stop yelling at me!
Woman: Well you are yelling at me too.
Operator: No I’m not.
Woman: That’s just about it.
Operator: I’ll tell you what, how can it be an emergency if you’ve had this cat all this time and all of a sudden now today it’s an emergency?
Woman: How do you know how long I’ve had it? You didn’t even ask.
Operator: I did too.
Woman: I found out that the cat is scared of me. Right now while I’m yelling. The cat is scared. He’s
petrified. And I’m not about to just let him walk out the back door. Should I do that? Should I just throw him out the back door and have somebody kill him or have him starve to death. I thought I’m doing the most proper humane thing to do is to put him to sleep for Pete’s sake. Good lord what do you think I am a killer? I’m telling you right now that somebody has got to pick that cat up from the police department or all hell is going to break loose here.
Operator: I’m telling you…
Woman: All hell is going to break loose.
Operator: I’m telling you the police department does not pick up animals.
Woman: Then why did they put the number down there. Why?! Why did they put the number, call the police. Why am I calling for? Do you think this is fun for me? I don’t have to call the police. No way, no how…deal with me! I’d like to put you to sleep. My cat is…but you’re bad. You’re nothing but a dog.
Operator: Ma’am just keep talking because it’s all I’m saying.
Woman: I really don’t care what you say. What are you going to call me back and arrest me for my mind? Speaking my thoughts, that I can’t stand your guts. You’re toilet paper. You stink.
Operator: Are you done yet?
Woman: I don’t know, did I say enough. Did you get offended? You don’t have no heart. You…I don’t even know the…material. Have them call me I don’t care. I’ll tell them you’re the screw up…you bitch! You can put to sleep. You can be put the sleep! You should die. I’d like to kill you myself.
Operator: Well ma’am why don’t you tell me where you are?
Woman: Oh I thought you knew already. You guys got...
Operator: Now you don’t want to give me your address huh.
Woman: I’ll give my address. Does that make it better?
Operator: Yes, it does. Someone will come out to see you. What’s your address?
Woman: Why don’t you go fly a kite with a hole in it?
A woman tries to get 911 to kill her crazy cat.