Operator: This is the ambulance emergency line. Do you have an emergency? Joe: I need an ambulance. Operator: Who is this? Joe: Joe. Operator: Okay, where do you need it? Joe: I’m in the mother fucking phone booth. Operator: Okay, what’s the address there? Joe: Hold on. Operator: Okay Joe I need a location. What street are you on? Joe: I’m in a mother fucking phone booth at the Stop ‘n Go. That’s it, I’m at the mother fucking Stop ‘n Go. On…wait a minute…what’s the mother fucking street…it’s at a mother fucking Stop ‘n Go. Let me see, I’m in the mother fucking phone booth. Let me tell you what, I’m going down the mother fucking road, driving in my car, minding my own God damned business and a mother fucking deer jumped out and hit my car. Operator: Okay sir, are you injured? Joe: Let me tell you. I get out and pick the mother fucking deer up because I thought he was dead. I put the mother fucking deer in my back seat and I’m driving down the mother fucking road and minding my own business, the mother fucker woke up and bit me in the back of my God damned neck. It bit me and kicked the shit out of my car. And I’m in the mother fucking phone booth. The deer bit me in the neck. A big mother fucking dog came up and bit me in the leg. I hit him with the mother fucking tire iron and I stabbed him with my knife. So I got a hurt leg and the mother fucking deer bit me in the neck. And the dog won’t let me out of the mother fucking phone booth because he wants the deer. Now it’s just the deer, me and the dog. Operator: Okay sir, are you injured? Joe: Yeah! A mother fucking deer bit me in the neck. Operator: Hold on. Joe: The mother fucking dog is biting me. Hold on. God damn it get out of here. The mother fucking dog is biting my ass.


A girl calls 911.