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Quotes and Sound Clips
You're White. You're Smart, Pretty
Then, It's A Sign
You Got Insurance?
It's The Circle Of Life
We Are Never Going To Move To Pittsburgh
Fine. If We Regroup The Group, You'll Be In The Group
Microwaves. Think I Could Fit A Turkey In The Microwave?
I'm More Of A Bake And Broil Kind Of Girl
Fire. Fire On The Mountain
Homeowner's Insurance Policy, Deed to the House, Birth Certificates
Then Word's Gonna Spread That You're Being Protected By Me
I Need Help. You Try Home Depot?
I'm Also Not Going Up Against An Army Of Drug-Dealing Bikers
Bite Your Motherfucking Tongue
I Have No Muscle. I Have No Army
And I'm Out Of Demerol. He Looks Like A Tough Young Man
Okay. Either of You Armed?
How Can We Call Ourselves A First-World Country?
If You Want To Get Lucky Tonight
I Never Slept With U-Turn
What, You Think You're the First Black Man I've Been With?
You Weigh the Pros and the Cons, and I'll Be in Touch
Oh, No. Don't Take It Personally. Your Customers Sound Gay
Love Means You're Constantly Apologizing
Thug means never having to say you're sorry
Planning A Big Night On The Town, Are We?
See You Soon, Pot Mommy
But You Bring Me Back That 5 Grand Real Soon
You Met a Biker Girl?
Heylia Gets Carsick, Vaneeta's Got Road Rage
I'll Babysit Your Kids. Send You To Europe After College
In My Line Of Work I Realize That I'm Susceptible To Blackmail
I Thought I Needed A Friend
You Didn't Trust Me, And You Really Should Have
You Can Buy Plenty Of Blondes With Big, Fake Tits for 20
Fuck Me! Tempting But I Like Blondes
You're Not Surveying The Water Lines
Buils Another Just-Add-Water Insta-Town
How Could You Leave All This?
Shouldn't You Just Sweep Everything Off And Ravage Me
Jail Comes Before Hell
Watch Your Back. Sullivan's On The Warpath
Buy More Drugs, Sell More Drugs
I Might Be A Drug Dealer, But I'm No Embezzler
We're Not Drunk, Andy. We're Lubricated
I Have Ice-Cream Cake
Tim's Kind Of A Dickhead
I'm Failing My Children
I Miss the Simplicity Of Toddlerhood
Fucking Rolling Blackouts
Make My Boy Your Bitch
After Business Is Up And Running, I'll Buy You A Rolex
$10 An Hour. Don't Be Cheap With Me
Silas, Your Only Lines Are, Thank You For This Opprtunity
He Needs A Positive Male Influence In His Life
This Little Fucker Steals Our Shit
This Is Also, Like, A Way To Keep You Occupied
You Married A DEA Agent
She's A Fundamentalist That Likes To Smoke A Lot Of Pot
In Your 17 Years On Earth
Eat Some Cake Or Watch Youtube Or Something
Crazy Stalker Person
You Realize You're Doing Something Illegal?
And gay bars and dance clubs, 'cause I'm a faggot
Jesus, I Do Sound Nuts
There Is A Cotton Barrier Between My Eggs And Yours
I Don't Do Porn So Much Anymore. I Found It Very Tiring
The Resume's Bullshit Of Course But The Mind Is There
You're A Jewish, Right?
Are We Sure This Is The Way To The Hospital?
You've Got Great Breats
What Division Were You In?
Mom, Can You Type?
My Son's Bringing In More Money Than I Am
Don't Come Back Until You Love Jesus
When Are We Gonna Have Sex Again?
What Are You Wearing? Indulge A Pervert
My Last Two Relationships, Both Guys Ended Up Dead
You Got My Chapapote?
You Know How Gangsters Can Be And Their Egos
Silas, Don't Swear At Your Brother
I Remember When He Was Just A Wannabe
All I Need Now Is For The Boys To Eat Heroin Eggs For Breakfast
Eat Heroin Eggs For Breakfast
You Live Here for Free. You Wipe Your Ass With My Toilet Paper
We're Not Heroin Dealers
Why Are You Cooking Without Clothes?
They're Real Quiet. Good For Sneaking Up On Motherfuckers
You Bought A Prius?
I Have A Backseat Full Of Blood
Stuff Keeps Piling on
Actually I Think We Only Clipped Him
I Was In A Drive-By Shooting Yesterday
I Was Getting The Mail, Shot In The Ass
Ten Grand Light. Usually Get A Nigga Shot
You Sold $2,000 In A Day
Didn't Know What He Did Till I Tried On His Jacket
Nancy Botwin? Agent Fundis. I'm Here To Talk About Peter Scottson
Get a fucking job
I Got A Parking Ticket
She Found Out That I Was Fucking Celia
Big, Scary Men With Guns Who Want A Lot Of Money From Mommy
How Long Have I Been Asleep?
Both My Children Are In Jail. Perfect!
Just Blow Her Fucking Brains Out
No, He's Not My Friend. He's Gonna Kill Me
You Know, I Dropped You On Your Head Once
It's Called Due Diligent. It's Diligence
Wow. You Look Very Handsome
I Grow And Sell Marijuana
You're Crazy And We're Crazy Does Not Mean We're Related
Why Don't You Take Your Shirt Off And Come Ball With Us?
What The Fuck Is That? Dap. Say Dap Again
You Know This Bitch Tried To Fucking Light Me On Fire?
It's Not Easy Being A Girl, We Have A Lot Of Issues
Fuck You. I Drive A Prius
Buy Our Harvest
And Despite The Fact That You Threatened To Kill Me
Beacuse I'm Agent Wonder Bread
What Viagra Was For Pfizer, MILF Weed Could Have Been For Us
Nothing Happened. Mom Kicked Him Out After 15 Minutes
I'll Have Her Put Down
Why Is Your Lunatic Girlfriend Still In My House?
Pussycat Having A Nosebleed?
You've Had Too Much To Drink
The Thing With Paella Is You Have To Be Here To Cook It
I Admit I Have A Problem. I'm Going Cold Turkey
It's A Bad Job For A Danger Junkie
You Love Him? Agent Wonder Bread
Moves Mean You Think Things Through. You Have Been Reacting
He Always Did Have A Thing for Pinatas
Get Your Ass Back There And Watch Willy Fucking Wonka!
Stop Playing The Dead-Dad Card!
Hamidrash L'Torah, And That Happens To Be Tax-Deductible
I'd Like To Double-Check Those Numbers
They Think He's Cool Ever Since He Took Up Your Cause
What Does Kicking Ass Entail?
Mail In The Marriage Certificate. Be My Wife
I'm a Drug Dealer
Do You Really Think You Deserve Anything After What You Did Today?
There's Global Warming
The Range Rover Was Obnoxious
If You'd Brought In The Toes, Been Able To Reattach Them
I Can't Go Home Stoned
Hated Your Father When I First Met Him
Starbucks, Costplus And Ben & Jerry's
When Is He Going To Be Able To Go Home?
You Couldn't Get Into Traffic School With Those Scores
You Can Buy The Sports Car When You're 47 And Bald
I Think Pot-Smoking Is Basically a Victimless Crime
Coke And Meth Are Dangerous Drugs That Destroy Lives
Why Do You Never Know When To Shut Up?
You're High Already. It's Not Even 4:20
Be My Fucking Friend!
Well I Hope Grandma Is On That List
Why Do You Have a Home-Pregnancy Test?
You Lay A Hand On My Kid Again, I Will Kill You
She Was The Blowjob Queen Of Dewey Street
Silas Got His Girlfriend Pregnant. Doggie Style
Three Weeks Ago In My Room. Doggie Style
Megan's Pregnant And Were Keeping It
Shot in the Ass by a Meth Freak With a Nail Gun
Maybe Strangers Won't Ask You To Model Plus Size Fashion
Like The Rest Of America, Most Of Them Won't Vote
Talk to Shane About Jerking Off
Have You Noticed Any Changes With Your Penis?
Have You Noticed Any Changes With Your Penis?
He's Probably Been Flushing His Jerk Socks Down the Toilet
A man, a plan, a canal, Panama, It's A Palindrome
What If This Is Just All An Act You Put On To Nail Dealers?
The Alcohol Flushes Me, Gives a Natural Blush
How Can A Scorpion Sting Through A Hard Shell
We're Like That Story, the Scorpion and the Turtle
You're A DEA Agent, Natural Enemies
It's Our Job To Go After Every Single Drug Dealer
Why Are You Writing It in the Girls' Bathroom?
I Liked the Part Where the Hebrew School Bully
Megan! I Don't Think She Heard You
You Didn't Tell Me She Couldn't Sleep Over
So I'm Guessing No Breakfast?
Conrad's Talking to Me and He's Not Supposed To
We're Gonna Be a Family if I Have to Kill All of You!
He Out Buying Me a Breast Pump
You Guys Are Better Than NPR
You Should Run for City Council
My Kid Bit His Kid's Foot in Karate
Did I Mention I Slept With a DEA Agent Last Night?
Sneaky Arson Plot Behind Them Crazy Eyes?
Shes hot me in the leg
I Want My Kids to Fear Me
They Didn't Do Much Sleeping
My Name Is Mom, or Mommy Dearest
They're Not Like Fred Flintstone Feet
Looked at Us Like We Weren't Jewish Enough
I Will Stab You. Get Out Of My Fakery
I Was Gonna Be a Dancer, Not a Dealer
What About Mrs. Fields? Big Whore
You Started a Fire? It's No Big Deal
How Am I Gonna Get My Stuff Back? Let Me Borrow A Gun
Shit-Eating, Dickless, Granny-Fucking Prick!
Motherfucking, Cock-Sucking Asshole!
When Did You Start Smoking?
Megan's One of Three Girls, Her Dad Loves Having Me Over
We Were at My Dad's Grave Today. Are You A Fag?
It Makes Absolutely No Sense. There's No Cars
It's A Light. If You Don't Make It You Sit Forever
This Dick Does Nice Work
This Dick Does Nice Work. I'd Hate To See It Full Of Holes
Delivers Late. Doesn't Answer Calls
When I Come Back, This Place Better be Fucking Spotless
Pennies! Displaced On My Car!
Thanks for Taking One for the Team
I'm Outsourcing. Built My Pyramid
Fucking Community College Losers!
Cold, Trite, Evil and Fucked Up!
Every Time I Leave Here, I Feel Like Such an Asshole
Got Them Pretty Eyes and That Sweet Bedunkadunk
You Just Have To Make It Look Like Your Running A Bakery
You ordering enough for a Snoop Dogg pool party
You Made Your Bed, Now Fuck in It
My Son Finally Gets a Friend, and You Go and Fuck His Mother?
Have a Nice Day, Kids. Party On
All Right, Who's the Hottie?
He Shot a Mountain Lion, He Wrote a Gangster Rap
That Makes Me Nervous. Guns Make Me Nervous
I Had to Go Through a Metal Detector
Then You Hear It Twice In One Day
Take That, Ya Kraut Bastards!
I'm a Mother Who Happens To Distribute Illegal Products
Would You Like Me to Smell You Next?
Enrolling in dental hygiene school so my children aren't orphans
I Was Thinking Of Going Bigger. Forty-seven Triple F's
I Don't Give a Flying Fuck if You Do Have Cancer
You're Gonna Have the Tits of a 19-Year-Old Girl
What About Growing? Ah Botany
Now I Pledge Never To Die
The Downside Of This Business Is Death
Everything You Touch Turns to Shit
You Had Cyber Sex With A 15 Year Old Deaf Girl
How Far I Had To Crawl Up The Principals Ass
My Crowd Loves to Eat Their Smoke
Sorta Like Crotch Crabs Only Not As Treatable
These Will Satisfy Your Munchies
I Slept With A Woman In College
The One Buzz-Kill Is You Can Only Buy Eight Ounces A Vist
I Only Sold You a Quarter Last Week
I'm Gonna Take Your Free Goat
Can't Believe I Trust You With My Money
Don't Tell Me You're Dry
What Did You Just Chuck at My Face?
You Gonna Play by the Rules?
No Wonder My Dad's Screwing Helen Chin
You Promised Me No Kids
Air Out the Van and Keep Your Smoke Private
She Can't Shoot Tennis Balls Out Of Her Twat
Unless You Wanna Go Back to Buying Ditch Weed
I Had No Idea You Read Books
You Don't Deal To Kids. Are We Clear?
People Got Stoned for the Passion of the Christ?
I'm The Biggest Game In The Private Community
I'm A Bitch-Ass Bitch
Maybe Black People Need to Start Stealing a Little Bit Bigger
It's Stupid to Buy Expensive Shoes For A Three Year Old
It's A Knock Off, But You Can't Even Tell
Remove All Soft Drinks From The Vending Machines
What do you supposed the punishment is
There's still something wrong with this guy's head
He was given daily doses of LSD
Don't make any sudden moves
What Do You Mean I'm Not Looking So Hot Myself?
It's Too Late
It Feels Like A Boy
Right Or Wrong
Are You Going to Jail?
I Can See Your Boobies
Happy Birthday To Me
Who's the Fucking Animal on the Other Side of the Fence?
He Didn't Have A Fucking Face
Will You Be Looking Into Me?
You Know We're Not Lesbians, Right?
I Threw Up on My Prom Date
You And I Are Not Dark-Hearted
And then ask me out
That Man Hearts Cock
You Need to Get Your Gaydar Checked
It's Gonna Look Like It Came From Me
Been There Done That
There Are Guns Coming Through the Tunnel Into Your City
That Ayahuasca Really Fucked Me Up
I Do What I'm Told By Men With Semiautomatic Weapons
The Sexy, Scary, Beardy one?
You Had Boys
I Don't Want You Seeing Either of Those Scary Little Sluts Again
Did You Have Sex?
I Lie To Myself All the Time
But I Only Have a Headache
I Swear I'm Not Trying to Get Out of Sex
Like He's Special
He Projectile Vomits And Once It Was Blue
I Have a Breakfast Meeting in Another Country
Feel Free To Raid The Fridege
It's a Little Quirky to Masturbate to Pictures of Your Mother
You Should Avoid The Areas Which Include Having Great Sex With Your Mother
Kung Pao Made Me Piss Out Of My Ass
She's Bat-Shit Insane
Why Couldn't He Have Had A Gun?
This Is Way Outside My Kink Zone
You're Fucking My 17-Year-Old Son
You're Growing Pot With Your Girlfriend In A Cheese Shop
Great Cover Smell
I'll Paint Your Toenails
Something Kind Of Fell Into My Lap
You'll Eat Lobster And I Will Eat You
What Are You, Batman?
You're Afraid of Dirty Beer Bottles
Put It Under Your Pillow Get A Dollar From The Shrapnel Fairy
I Am The Table
You Never Sipped From Your Beer
What's a Marimacha?
He's Going to Get His Ass Kicked
Sometimes You Eat the Bear Sometimes the Bear Eats you
You're Our One Shot At Legitimacy
Surf Dicks and Gym Class
You Should Really Think About The Cocaine Nancy
You Wanna Sell Drugs?
Goodbye Miata Hello Minivan
Boys Are Disgusting
I Want My Own Fucking Bathroom.
He Had A Baby With A White Women Mom
An You Once Dated Liz Hurley
Gigantism Runs In Clinique's Family
Find Somewhere Else To Scratch Your Fleas
Old Gynecological Instruments
I'm Living in A Frat House
You Sound Really Angry. Do You Need Sex?
Snooze You loose
I'll Go Look For An Umbrella
By The Way Here's A Tunnel To Mexico
Stay Away From The Hole
There's a Giant Hole in the Floor
You Get Lucky With The Rocky Mountain Chocalate Guy Last Night?
I Have Rights
What the F?
Keep A Low Profile
You Need To Seek Medical Attention
Family Combo Please
Write Down How Much You Wanna Make This Year
I Got a Family to Support
Got Her On A Leash Now
Try Not to Look Homeless
I Wanna Traffic
I Have Repeatedly Allowed You To Fuck Me Over a Fence
Massive Dose of Fucked-Up Karma
You Dont Get Your Tooth Back
I'm Gonna Fucking Kill Her
Celia, Get in the Fucking Prius
You Hear That, Fuck-O? Gun's Loaded
Nobody Tells Anybody Anything
Take It Down a Peg, Chiquita
Enough Philosopher King Bullshit
You Kiss Well
What Am I Gonna Eat?
That's a Lot of Product
We're All Alone
I'm Starting To Freak Out Again
Calm The Fuck Down Or I'll Shoot You
What If It's a Fucking Alien?
You're Fucked On Silas' Weed.
What Do I Need a Gun For?
It Was Tempur-Pedic. Conformed To Her Face
Please Get Out Of My House
Get Mommy A Pillow
You Collected Many Excellent Treasures
I Need to Go Kill My Dead Husband's Grandmother Now
You Might Also Want To Make A Hat Out Of My Kidney
Check-My-Shit-Out Technicolor Slut Suit
Chewie Took A Shit In A Bread Bag One Time
Happiness is an Empty Bladder
The Bubbie That Doesn't Blink
She's Like A Painting
It's Like Bunking With Darth Vader
Oh, You Think There's a Tiny Little Immigrant Stuffed in My Lipstick
Dead Iraqi Children
Una Brake Light Especial
You Gonna Take a Little Drive for Me Today Blanca
Psychotic Gangster, Burned-Down Agrestic Guillermo?
Like A Rape Kit?
All Gay Boys Know What a Dust Ruffle Is
We Don't Shit Where We Eat Or Eat Where We Shit
That's Silas Watering His Pot Plants in the Shower