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Dumb & Dumber
Quotes and Sound Clips
How Do You Guys Know Each Other?
Where's All the Money?
Two Lucky Guys Are Gonna Be Driving Around With Those Girls
You'll Have to Excuse My Friend, He's A Little Slow
You Are in Luck! There's A Town About Three Miles That Way
Hi, Guys! We're Going on a National Bikini Tour
When Are We Ever Gonna Catch a Break?
How Come I Didn't Get a Gun?
But What if He Shot You in the Face?
What's Going on, Harry? Your Name Is Harry, Isn't It?
Special Officer Beth Jordan, FBI
Harry! You're Alive! And, You're A Horrible Shot
You Killed My Best Friend, You Bastard!
Yesterday Was One of the Greatest Days of My Life
Maybe We Should Call It Quits Right Now
Maybe We're Not as Good of Friends as We Thought We Were
Fraida Told Me the Whole Sleazy Story, Mr. French Tickler
Hey, Harry, You Never Called!
You're a Dead Man. You're a Dead Man!
See This? That's a Car. 275 Thou
Listen, Mr. Samsonite, About the Briefcase
Excuse Me, Gunman, Who Are You?
I've Been Looking for You, Mary
Hi. We Have Plenty of Towels. Thanks
So You're Telling Me There's a Chance!
You Mean Not Good, Like One Out of 100?
What Are My Chances?
What Do You Think the Chances Are Of A Guy Like You And A Girl Like Me
I Like You a Lot
I Desperately Want to Make Love to a Schoolboy
I Feel Like a Schoolboy Again
You Mean to Say You Drove 2,000 Miles Just For Me?
When Lloyd Christmas Drives a Woman to the Airport
Come on, Flush, You Bastard!
What Are You Doing in Aspen?
Who Are These Sick People?
No, I Was Just Shaving
Harry, Are You in There?
1/2 Teaspoon for Fast, Effective Relief
Hey, Harry, Old Buddy, Old Pal!
I've Been Going Through Such Pain and Personal Anguish
I Just Figured She Was A Raging Alcoholic
Oh, That Pisses Me Off! That Pisses Me Right Off!
Why Don't We Make It Quarter To 8:00?
We Landed on the Moon!
You Wouldn't Happen to Know a Mary Swanson, Would You?
No, and I Don't Care!
Then Do You Know What the Klutz Did?
It'll Only Hurt for a Moment, Like a Band-Aid
Bad Day, Huh? Me Too
This One's on Me
She's Running Late, Huh?
Is It 10:00 AM Yet?
You Wouldn't Happen to Have A Cup Of Warm Water, Would You?
Oh, Look. Frost
There's Been Some Family Problems
You Mean You're Gonna Go Out in Public Dressed In Tights?
Don't You Ever Say That Again!
How Could Anybody Whack a Bird With a Cork?
Hey, Maybe It Was a Coincidence
Boy, This Party Really Died
This Calls for a Little of the Bubbly!
Poor Thing, She Never Gets a Chance to Get Out
That Tuxedo, It's Fabulous!
One Time, We Successfully Mated A Bulldog With A Shih-Tzu
Any Unusual Breeding?
But Now My Main Area of Expertise Is Canines
Nice Set of Hooters You Got There
Nice Set of Hooters You Got There
I'm Going to Hang by the Bar, Put Out The Vibe
I Have A Rapist Wit
Why Don't You Go Over And Introduce Yourself?
She's Just Going to Think I'm Some Kind of a Psycho
Wow! You Weren't Kidding, Lloyd
The First Time I Set Eyes on Mary Swanson
I Give You the Icelandic Snow Owl
Come on, Let's Go Get a Couple Bowls of Loudmouth Soup
I'd Like to Eat Her Liver With Some Fava Beans And A Nice Chianti
Oh, Look at the Funbags on That Hosehound
Can't You Just Feel It, Harry?
Excuse Me. Gentlemen, This Is a $500-a-Plate Dinner
Well, Come on, Cinderella. We've Got To Get You Ready For The Ball!
Harry, It's Mary!
There You Go, There You Go, There You Go
We'll Take It!
We'll Be Meticulous, Right Down to the Last Penny
Harry! Your Hands Are Freezing!
I'm Going to Toss This Damn Curse Right Into That Damn Pond!
Harry, You Got That Crazy Look in Your Eye!
You've Had This Pair Of Extra Gloves This Whole Time?
I Can't Feel My Fingers Anymore, Lloyd
Samsonite! I Was Way Off
Invite Us Right In For Tea And Strumpets
Jeez, Look at the Butt on That
What More Could Two Single Guys Ask For?
Got a Little Nippy Going Through The Pass
Oh! That Sure Is Warm
You Know, Lloyd, Just When I Think You Couldn't Possibly Be Any Dumber
I Can Get 70 Miles To The Gallon On This Hog
Got Room for One More If You Still Want to Go to Aspen
Oh, Well, Pardon Me, Mr. Perfect!
Home. I'm Walking Home
We're In A Hole, We're Just Going To Have To Dig Ourselves Out
Now We Don't Have Enough Money to Get to Aspen!
Come On, Stop Being a Baby! So We Backtracked A Tad
I'm Only Human, Harry!
That John Denver's Full of Shit, Man
I Expected the Rocky Mountains To Be A Little Rockier Than This
Hey! I Was Wondering When You Were Gonna Get Up
Some People Just Weren't Cut Out for Life on the Road
Hey, Guys. Whoa, Big Gulps, Huh?
Why Should I Do You Any Favors?
I've Been Driving for Nine Straight Hours
Look, I Told You What Happened, Okay? So Just Drop It
A Motorist Saw a Pooch About 30 Miles Back Headed This Way
Find a Happy Place
For God's Sakes, Just Give Me the Damn Number!
You Know, I'm Heading Up to Aspen Myself
I've Got to Get Away From My Boyfriend. He's Such a Klutz
Oh, Man, You Gotta Be Shitting Me
They're Driving An '84 Sheepdog
But He Blamed Me. You Heard Him
Life's a Fragile Thing, Harr
Son of a Bitch!
Pills Are Good! Pills Are Good!
This Is a Lot Easier if You Just Lay Back
Don't Worry. I Know CPR
Are You Okay, Man? It Was Just a Goof
Talk About Being in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time
All I Saw Was One Bag and That Briefcase
Feeling Better, Girls?
Look, I Can't Have These Guys Running Around Aspen
Don't Forget That Your Bread Plate Is On The Left!
It's More Tingly Than Hot
That Sounds Like a Dare, Harry
No, You Go First
You Want an Atomic Pepper, Mr. Mentaliano?
Mock! Yeah! Ing! Yeah! Bird! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Fellas, You Think We Could Listen To The Radio Or Something?
Hey, You Wanna Hear the Most Annoying Sound in the World?
You Can't Triple-Stamp a Double-Stamp, Lloyd!
You're It! Quitsies!
We Usually Don't Pick Up Hitchhikers
I Gotta Squeeze A Lemon
You Don't Kill People You Don't Know, That's A Rule
Come on, Joe. Let Me Do Them
I'll Bet You 20 Bucks I Can Get You Gambling Before The End Of The Day
Pussy! Pussy! Pussy!
You Know, I Don't Think We Have Enough Gas Money
According to the Map, We've Only Gone About Four Inches
I'm Sorry, Mr. Andre. You Were Saying?
Get Off the Phone
Oh, You Turned Your Back on Me
Sir, Did You Ever Hear Of The Concept Of Other People?
What the Hell Are These Guys Up To?
I Think They're A Little Bit Strange
She Give You Any Reason?
She Sends Me A John Deere Letter
Felcher? From Cranston?
Yeah, We Stayed in a Place Just Like This
What Happened, Harry? Some Little Philly Break Your Heart?
This Place Doesn't Really Do It For Me
Don't Tell Me to Shut Up, Woman
You'd Probably Like It Too, You Big Homo
I'd Show You What a Real Man Can Do
Yeah, Well, It's a Good Thing You're Not Stacked, Harry
There's Only One Thing That Could Make This Moment Any Better
Cold Beer, A Hot Tub and Paper-Thin Walls
Yeah! Get Her!
You Want Me to Drive?
No, But That's A Real Nice Ski Mask
We Can't Let on That Anything's Wrong
I've Been Giving This a Lot of Thought
How Could They Not Have Gotten the Ransom?
Tic Tac, Sir?
You'd Keep Your Mouth Shut If You Knew What Was Good For You, Buddy
Come on, Give Me That Booze, You Little Pumpkin-Pie-Haircutted Freak!
It's Against the Law To Have An Open Alcohol Container
That's Nothing, Sir
You Fellas Been Doing A Bit Of Boozing, Have You?
License and Registration, Please
Killer Boots, Man!
No, It's a Cardigan, But Thanks For Noticing
What Are You, a Camel?
Hurry Hurry Hurry Hurry Hurry Hurry!
The Bottle's Almost Full and I'm Still Going
But I Gotta Go! What Am I Supposed to Do?
I Gotta Pee
They Catch Up To Him A Half-Mile Down The Road And Slit His Throat
That Was Genius, Lloyd, Sheer Genius!
I'm Gonna Kill Those Sons of Bitches!
Sea Bass and the Fellas Offered to Pick Up Our Check
Make It Four Boilermakers
Like To Buy You Guys A Round Of Beers
What the Hell Do You Want?
I Think I Just, Yeah, I Just Had An Idea
The Guy Hawked On My Burger!
Still Want It? Nah, You Go Ahead
You Gonna Eat That?
Kick His Ass, Sea Bass!
It Was a Terrible Mistake, Sir
Who's the Dead Man That Hit Me With the Salt Shaker?
Toss Some Salt Over Your Right Shoulder
You Spilled the Salt, That's What's the Matter
I Like It a Lot
Feels Good to Mingle With These Laid-Back Country Folk
Anything Else Before I Leave the Area?
Uh, What Is The "Soup Du Jour"?
Excuse Me, Flo?
They Got the Monkees
They Ain't Never Getting to Aspen
They Must Have Been Following Us for Weeks
Those Rat Bastards
Polly Want a Cracker?
Petey Didn't Even Have a Head!
You Sold My Dead Bird to a Blind Kid?
What Did You Sell Him, Lloyd?
Where Did You Get 25 Extra Bucks?
Hey, Where'd You Get Those?
Lloyd, What Are You Doing?
Just Let It Out. Have a Good Cry
Okay, Lloyd. Aspen It Is
Why Are You Going to the Airport? Flying Somewhere?
You Know What I'm Sick and Tired of, Harry?
I Am Getting Sick And Tired Of Running From Creditors!
So I Wanna Go Someplace Where We Know Somebody
Wait a Minute! I Know What You're Up to, Mister
I Don't Know, Lloyd. The French Are Assholes
A Place Where the Beer Flows Like Wine
What the Hell Are We Doing Here, Harry?
We Got No Food. We Got No Jobs. Our Pets' Heads Are Falling Off!
That's It! I've Had It With This Dump!
His Head Fell Off
I Got Robbed by a Sweet Old Lady On A Motorized Cart
I'll Be Right Back. Don't You Go Dying on Me!
Senior Citizens, Although Slow and Dangerous Behind The Wheel
Could You Do Me a Favor and Watch My Stuff Here
Okay, Just Get the Bare Essentials
Yeah, Unless You Want To Work 40 Hours A Week
I Tought I Taw a Puddy Cat
Maybe We Should Trash the Place
Do You Realize What You've Done?
There's Two of Them. One of Them's Got a Gun
Man, I Would Have to Be a Lowlife
She Actually Talked to Me, Man
What's With the Briefcase?
Hey! Chicks Love It. It's A Shaggin' Wagon
You Know What Really Chaffs My Ass, Though?
You Are One Pathetic Loser! No Offense
Man! You Are One Pathetic Loser
Yeah, Well, I Lost My Job Too
So You Got Fired Again, Huh? Oh, Yeah
Who the Hell You Figure This Guy's Working For Anyway?
Fell Off the Jetway Again
It's Okay! I'm A Limo Driver!
Hold That Plane!
Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Mo!
Move It or Lose It, Sister!
Goodbye, My Love
Shh! Just Go
I Hate Goodbyes
How About a Hug?
I Couldn't Possibly Accept That
You Might Just Want To Run A Comb Through 'Em
These Pooches Are Not Going to Need Any Primping
Don't Worry About a Thing, Mrs. Neugy-Burger
No Humping, No Pushing, No Sniffing Heinies
Lloyd, Could You Keep Your Eyes on the Road, Please?
There's Really Nothing to Worry About, Mary
What's the Matter? A Little Tense About The Flight?
I Got Worms
This Isn't My Real Job, You Know
Name's Christmas, Lloyd Christmas
So Where're You Headed?
Suck Me Sideways
Last But Not Least - Foot-Long! Who's Got The Foot-Long?
Let's Put Another Shrimp on the Barbie
That's a Lovely Accent You Have. New Jersey?
Could You Tell Me How to Get to the Medical School?
Pussy Pussy Pussy!