About this Collection

It's Really Nice to Know, Though, That When I'm 70

It's Really Nice to Know, Though, That When I'm 70

Newkirk likes the fact that he is an attractive old man.

It's Just as Well Mrs. Schtottlemeyer Cannot Come

It's Just as Well Mrs. Schtottlemeyer Cannot Come

Gen. Burkhalter thinks that it would be hard for Mrs. Schtottlemeyer to be ab...

Lebeau Has Done an Excellent Job

Lebeau Has Done an Excellent Job

Gen. Burkhalter and Klink don't realize that they are eating dog food.

Lebeau, Your Hors D'oeuvres Are a Smash

Lebeau, Your Hors D'oeuvres Are a Smash

LeBeau tells Hogan that he has had to put dog food on the crackers because he...

I'd rather face the Russians

I'd rather face the Russians

Gen. Burkhalter thinks that facing the Russians would be easier than trying t...

The Colonel's gone crackers

The Colonel's gone crackers

Newkirk complains that he has to dress as a woman.

Hey, Is This Tea Going to Be Formal Then?

Hey, Is This Tea Going to Be Formal Then?

Hogan volunteers for delousing because the tea party is formal.

We don't drink anything we don't stomp on

We don't drink anything we don't stomp on

LeBeau tells Schultz that the French don't drink tea.

Schultz, Don't You Know You're Supposed to Be Announced?

Schultz, Don't You Know You're Supposed to Be Announced?

Hogan complains that Schultz came into the barracks without knocking.

I Wish I'd Been So Lucky

I Wish I'd Been So Lucky

LeBeau complains about his bullet wound.

Commandant, I Don't Think the Geneva Convention

Commandant, I Don't Think the Geneva Convention

Hogan protests having to work at Klink's tea party.

They're Having a Terrible Time in Russia

They're Having a Terrible Time in Russia

Klink asks the men to help the German soldiers in Russia.

Sir, a Little Something for the Boys in Stalingrad

Sir, a Little Something for the Boys in Stalingrad

Newkirk offers some snow for the boys in Stalingrad.

Was He Really That Good, Schultz?

Was He Really That Good, Schultz?

Schutz thinks that Danzig was the best female impersonator in Germany.

Schultz, in This Weather, I Don't Want to Talk to Him

Schultz, in This Weather, I Don't Want to Talk to Him

Hogan tells Schultz that he doesn't want to go outside because he's cold.

Are You Pulling My Leg, Carter?

Are You Pulling My Leg, Carter?

Newkirk tells Schultz that he would never lie to him.

What's the Matter, Cockroach?

What's the Matter, Cockroach?

Schultz finds it hard to believe that LeBeau has been sunburned in the middle...

I've Lost More Blood Than This Shaving!

I've Lost More Blood Than This Shaving!

Newkirk tells LeBeau that his wound was only superficial and he's had worse s...

With a Wound Like That

With a Wound Like That

Newkirk is upset that he thought that LeBeau might be dying.

There's Nothing More Than a Scratch

There's Nothing More Than a Scratch

Newkirk is shocked to find that LeBeau's wound barely broke his skin.

If One Does Not Vary One's Disguises

If One Does Not Vary One's Disguises

Danzig tells Hogan that he needs to vary his disguises so that they remain di...

I was expecting somebody with high heels

I was expecting somebody with high heels

Hogan is surprised that Danzig isn't dressed as a woman.

He Was Germany's Top Female Impersonator

He Was Germany's Top Female Impersonator

LeBeau tells the men that Danzig used to be a great female impersonator.