Hark

Weeds All Clips

Weeds

Totals

2093 Clips

Share

It Feels Like a Boy

If You're Gonna Kill Me

Cesar Will Drive You Home

You Do What You Gotta Do

Someone's Kidnapped Your Mother

This Cookie Is Amazing

Do You Guys Even Speak Spanish

What Are the Marks on Your Neck?

It's free, like the eagle

Are You On Drugs?

I Like Guys With Beards

It's Gonna Be a Lot to Carry

That Cunt Can Lick My Balls

People Have Babies

Sucked up into the alien craft

Why I Need Some Pot

How About You're Lazarus risen from the dead

We'll kill her and sell her organs

They're Gonna Saw You Open

I survived cancer and rehab for this

Do you have anymore of that stuff that made me sleep

Muffin in the Muff

Slutty Slut who had unprotected sex with a Mexican gangster

Jill Price-Gray with a hyphen, bitchface

Keeping her Mexican boyfriend from murdering us all

You get one pube, you think you're a grown up

My Beautiful Loaf

You're Religious?

Gotta pick up some stretch mark cream

Bikini Wax, it hurts like hell but Esteban really likes it

Hello, Butterfly

The bottom guys get tattoos of titties on their backs

You're the knocked up puta whore rat

Get Your Affairs in Order

You're a Rebel Leader

Always has an expression like she's smelling bad cheese

Non-Cheese-Sniffing Girls

She Witnessed a Korean Gang War

She was engaged to a Choi and fell for a Sun Hoo

Drinking Legally

Indica-Sativa Blend

Because I Trust You

Machetes and knives separated by blade length

I Have No Friends

Daredevil girl survives fall, it wasn't a fall

I've Been Drinking, And Smoking And I Had Raw Fish

Terms of This Arrangement

Dead Mom Walking

Sucio Usually Tortures People

He's Comfortable With His Man Smell

You're a Lost Puppy

No Shooty

Children of the Corn

Sucio Song

This Place Gives Me the Creeps

A Mexican Gyno? Down there you want a Jew

Been off cocain and amphetamines for almost a week

Go Relax

Who's This Guy?

Obama's President

Where Marijuana's Involved There's Always Risk

You've Made This the Family Business

Mom I'm Selling Weed

That's My Sister, You Can Shoot Her If You Want

What a nasty whore their mommy is

If you're not gonna help me, then fuck off

I am very high and I'm not paranoid

Bored with all the other kids her age

This is Shabbas dinner

The White Swallow

You're gonna have a shower

I Waited Until You Came

Someday When You're Older

I Have Fucked Up My Entire Life

Fucking my Sister

I was trying not to pee in my pants

You Stuck Your Penis Inside My Mother

I mixed Benadryl and Tegretol one time

Even Donkeys are Scared

What Does He Have That I Don't Have?

Smoking in the Eco-Garden

Hampster Get Raped With Sharpies

Just In Time to Spot Me

He's Wet Himself

My Body is a Toxic Pit

If I Pricked You Finger You'd Bleed A Rain Cloud

Mommy needs to Get Drunk

He's Heavier Than a Sea Turtle

Going to burn his clothes, drain his blood and melt his bones with ...

Looks Like Someone Shat a Tilt-a-Whirl

Is It Okay to Impersonate Your Dead Brother

What You Doing With All the Smokable Product?

He Stinks Like Pig Shit

Before you showed up and shit all over their dreams

Make himself a fuck doll from a tire

When We Came Together

She Had Asperger's

I Could Be a Supehero

Rich White Children

This baby has a one in five chance of bein autistic

Gophers and Bunnies are gonna eat your plants

Growers are usually too stoned to do math

I'm a Master Negotiator

You Don't Have a Gun

Tiny Little Crumb

It's Botwin, Motherfucker

You Little Cock Goblin

Jacked the Wrong Kid

Fucking Loved Pudding Pops

Fuck you and your bullshit charges in the butt

Looking a Little Stiff

Love Dipping Things Into Other Things

Deaf-Girl Fucker, Deaf-Fucker

Retarded in the Mouth

No tweetering, nothing electronic

Try it and the toaster goes in with you

When Flesh Hits Acid

I need to be sandblasted, I need a hug

Why is fucking Armageddon always coming down on me?

Break his heart in ink

We Will Get Married

Spinach gives you instant muscles and an anchor tattoo

What Does That Mean

Die Inky, Die Blinky

Suffer For My Beliefs

Don't have a scraggly moonshiner beard

George Hamilton Autobiography

Skeeves people out. Like midgets.

What Would George Hamilton Do?

My Heart Is in Couture

I Wanna Be That Weasel

Pizza Eggs

Stiletto-heeled Mexi-cunt

Silver-spooned oppressor

Innocent Golfers

Who Wants To Be Like Me

My nipples are hard and my lady is wet

Dick Ever Buy You a Cartier Panthere Watch

Cold, creamy treats flavored with drugs

I'm Seeing Storm Troopers

I'm Through

I Told You

I Don't Want Your Pregnant Pity Hand Job

Were You Really Gonna Jerk Me Off?

There Goes the Dyke Market

Head honcho. Grand Poobah

Fine, keep your swarthy little jihadi

You Do Have a Cute Butt

I'm kind, funny, a total rock star in bed

Where the Sidewalk Ends

Just sort of throw you down on a table and fuck you

I'm not Rapey Enough

I fucking hate Mexicans

I'm A Bitch

Isn't that the whole point of life? Children? Propagation?

Home-Birth Advocate

You Can't Testify

These Comic-Con Freaks Like to Party

You're a Fucking Jinx

I'll Bang Blitts Cousin

I've Been Seeing Other Patients

Because You'd Eat Them

This Little Milk Ball Was a Mistake

I Can't Sell Makeup When Civilization is collapsing

Tell that cunt to eat shit and die

Business Has Been Just Fine

Better Include a Rim Job

You're cursed with schmuckness

But first, his dick, this drawer, slam.

You In My House

You're a Father

I Can Get you High

They need me to get their shmarijuana back from the grolice

Just tell them that you got ripped off by black people

You Can Be Too Careful

I'd Rather Laugh With the Sinners

Balance a saltshaker on the bridge of your nose

You're a Frozen Margarita

Andy Jr., that's what I call my penis

Apparently you need 10 Jews to watch him lose his dick-head

Ganster Baby Daddy

My Son Is Not Jewish

My son's not gonna be raised by that pendejo

Night Farts Happen

He Probably Pooped

You Think I've Never Had My Nipples Clamped

I've Got a Crooked Dick and There's No Pot?

Chlamydia is Never nothing

Smoke Now Pay Later

Good Old Fashioned STD Scare

I'm in an LGBT clinic waiting to see if my 14-year-old has a venere...

I'm Never Having Sex Again

I just had a Q-Tip in My Dick Hole

I Got a Cat Hair Lodged in My Urethra One Time

We'll Take Violet Over Vag

So Fucking Male Yeast Infection

The Human Body Is a Complex and Mysterious Experiment

The Little Bastard Saved My Life

Put Me On The Potty Stat

Shut Up And Suck

You're Jerking Off?

I Wanna Make a Lot of Money Selling Your Face Chemicals

What The Fuck Am I Going To Do With A Dollar?

Fuck your mom in the ass with a screwdriver!

I'm Just Gonna Take Two For My Headache. Maybe Three

I Wanna Go Float in Lake Esteban

Please Don't Tell Anyone I Was a Nurse

When You're Pretending To Be The Tooth Fairy

Sniff Out All The Assholes In My Life

Thats Pretty Gay Nurse Cesar

He's A Jazz Muppet

I'm Her Baby Daddy

Is This An Occupational Hazard

Like A Knife Popping the Same Balloon Over And Over

There's an Elevator?

Security, There's a Sweaty Jew in My Hallway

It's Stuck In A Pocket Between My Balls

Flaccid In The Acid

No One Is Fine Around You

Maybe Call a Girl Who Calls Me On My Shit

It Would Be Like Throwing A Hot Dog Down A Hallway

I Want Her Dead

Who's The Better Jogger Now

Shut the Fuck Up Sheep

Peasants Breast Feed

Theiving Deceitful Whore Celia

And Then There's No Shit

How The Fuck Do You Get Them Under The Door?

So For Now We Back Off The Weed

What The Fuck You Doing On The Mound

I'm David Blane In Mexico

If You Don't Climax the Terrorists Win

You Told Me You Would Take My Rug-Munching Ass To Reparative Therapy

Am I Gonna Have To Get A Strap-On?

Lezzy Humor

It Felt Like There Were Eight Of You

I Will Kill You Face Off

The Ringmaster Touched My Tent Pole

Adelita Has a Stick Up Her Ass

Not For Lack Of Effort

Is That Why Your Dressed Like A Prostitute

Maybe You're Turning Tricks

Shenanigans

I'm Gonna Ask Audra to Marry Me

It's Always About Sex With You

Family Of My Own

I Have To Piss Like A Racehorse

I Never Bring My Work Home

Nope to Dope and Ugh to Drugs

You're Terrified of Being Ordinary

You Do Fuck All To Change Whats Going On

I Will Not Suck Your Dick

I'd Appreciate if You Didn't Ask My Mom

Why Are You Still Dressed Like That?

Get Me Some Bathroom Sex At Applebee's

There You Are You Feral Bitch

Wanna Lick My Crystal Balls

I'll Have Your Legs Broken By A Mexican Goon

Breast-Fed Both Of You

I Hear Everyone Is Dying For John Mayer's Syphilis

I've Known Ms. Pac-Man Longer

Imprisonment Is the Glue That Holds You Together

Then You Will Get A Headache And Leave

You Look Good On TV

What Would You Have Me Do

One Of Them Had A Really Nice Ass

I Don't Do Dick Anymore

I Need Dick

She Likes Girl Parts

Stench of Pussy On Your Lips And Me With A Drawer Dented Dick

Yunkie

Just Means I Adjusted My Expectations

I'm Fucking Steel

i'm Not Going To Become An IV Drug User

Four If We Count The Balls Seperately

I Couldn't Find A Golf Club

Am I Under Arrest?

I Am In A Sundress

Someone I Thought Was A Friend

You Should Be Questioning Nancy Botwin

Did a Bird Just Crap on My Head?

Best Bathroom Graffiti Ever

I Think That's Offensive To Texans

The Plasma's Riding Shotgun

You Smell Like Gas

We're On the Run Aren't We

No, I Think She Hates You Too

She Just Hates That I'm Not Jewish

You Sure You Don't Need to Pee or Birth a Texan Before We Go

You Got Face Like A Goy

How Am I Not Smelling It?

Oh She's Great Actually and a Bitch

In a Great Tough-Cookie Way

Old People Creep Me Out

I Spilled Gas On Myself When I Was Pouring It On The Furniture

I Set The House On Fire

I Don't Know Their Last Names but They Were Black

The Gay Indian Kid and the Christian Girl

Dad Once Told Me Bubbie Killed the Neighbor's Dog

I Have a Parasitic Twin Growing Out Of My Stomach

I Got a Picture Here of You With Sasquatch

You're The Drugs Are Wrong Lady

You Could Be Homeless For All We Know

Diet Shasta In A Can

I'm Mad At You Four Burning Our House Down

That's How Long I've Been Sitting Here Waiting For You Guys

You're An Asshole

Some Giant Killer Dog Is Home

Check It Out It's Snowing in Socal

Hey, Do You Still Poop Yourself?

Mine Tastse Like Vinyl Sofa

He's a Cripple With a Doctor's Note

I'm Also Gonna Take All Your $5 Bills

That'll Totally Reverse the Effects of 90-Plus Years of Life

We're Baked Out Of Our Skulls

It's Gonna Make Me Hate Being Gay

Here We Sit Two Milks and a Cappuccino

She is Super-Fierce

Eating German Food and Smelling Like Gas

I'm a Terrible Shiksa Monster Here to Terrorize Your Clan

Look Whose Keeping Lists

I'm Just Not Sure You're Mine

The Ghost Of Hanukkah Future

Hey I Get Laid All the Time and I Shit Like a Swiss Train

Rinse Off The Nazi Plate

My Children Are Sleeping Next To Their Unborn Cousins

He Once Showed Me Naked Pictures of You, You Know?

I Hadn't Counted on the Dying Woman in the Living Room

A Plan in the Planning Stages If You Will

I Saw My Grandmother's Vagina

Get Into Something Crazy Like A Donkey Show

I Won't Bring Heroin

We Should've Done This Years Ago

That's Silas Watering His Pot Plants in the Shower

We Don't Shit Where We Eat Or Eat Where We Shit

All Gay Boys Know What a Dust Ruffle Is

It's Like Taking A Shit On Mushrooms

I've Taken A Shit On Mushrooms

Listen Bonnie and Clyde

Like A Rape Kit?

What Sort of Potentially Illegal Activity Are You Engaging In

Psychotic Gangster, Burned-Down Agrestic Guillermo?

The Toilets are Metal

The Money Doesn't Like It When You Ask Questions

Don't Fuck With Good Luck

You Gonna Take a Little Drive for Me Today Blanca

Spoon-Fed Americana

So Stay Out Of My Stuff If You Ever Wanna Handle Your Little Shmeck...

If She Dies On Your Watch It's Your Fault

My Cellmate Chita Says She That She Is Going To Make Me Her Special...

Una Brake Light Especial

Dead Iraqi Children

Doug Says Everyone Fingered Celia

Something About Target

Leave Her Alone. She's a Bag of Broccoli.

Oh, You Think There's a Tiny Little Immigrant Stuffed in My Lipstick

It's Like Bunking With Darth Vader

She's Like A Painting

The Bubbie That Doesn't Blink

Do Women Go Bald?

I'll Shit Sunflowers

Happiness is an Empty Bladder

Chewie Took A Shit In A Bread Bag One Time

Check-My-Shit-Out Technicolor Slut Suit

Get Yourself Some J. Crew

Life Is Just Blah Blah Blah

Like An Incredibly Humane, Merciful, Dignified, Yes

Start Thinking North-South

I Fucking Love Whales

You Talk To Dead People

Three-Men Approach

Fucking Hotel Key

Pam, Get Your Head Out of Huell's Ass

It's On The Tip Of My Tongue

You Might Also Want To Make A Hat Out Of My Kidney

I Think You're Having Problems Letting Go

I'll Give You a Beer if You Go Away

I Want You To Enter Her Into The Dirt Derby

Psychic My Mother

I Need to Go Kill My Dead Husband's Grandmother Now

Unless You Own A Horse

You Collected Many Excellent Treasures

Oh, and That Foot Thing Makes You Totally Gay

Get Mommy A Pillow

Did She Leave a Will?

Your Mother is a Wild Card

A Hypoallergenic Pillow From Bed Bath & Beyond

How Is It That All Jews Aren't Morbidly Obese?

Please Get Out Of My House

I Just Need A Place To Bust Out My Nug Nugs

I'd Never Leave The Fucking House

It Was Tempur-Pedic. Conformed To Her Face

Leggy Chicas With Suitcases You Wanna Fuck In The Mouth

What Do I Need a Gun For?

Well, With All Due Respect, Fuck You

Yellow Is Drek, Green Is Crap, Blue Is Shit

I Can't Feel My Left Anything.

Warts, Not Gone. Technically My Fault

I'm Toasted

You Suck Dick, Silas?

Can You Use the Downstairs Toilet From Now on, Mr. Wilson?

You Think You're Better Than Me, Botwin, Becasue Your Van Has No Wi...

Puposeless, Directionless, Homeless

You're Fucked On Silas' Weed.

What If It's a Fucking Alien?

Calm The Fuck Down Or I'll Shoot You

I'm Starting To Freak Out Again

Genocide Can Happen Again if We're Not Vigilant

I Don't Think That's Bubbie's Money

Why Would Your Mom Have $15,000, in Cash, Hidden in a Hatbox?

Is Your Mother a Prostitute?

Did She Rob a Bank?

Your Mother's a Weed Dealer

We're All Alone

That's a Lot of Product

We Gotta Move to Mexico

Our Grow House Just Got Towed

What Am I Gonna Eat?

You're an Asshole

Sometimes Life Throws You Unexpected Surprises

Bubbie Was My Fucking Cooler

You and Your Drug Dealing Mommy?

You're A Giant Tell

Enough Philosopher King Bullshit

Take It Down a Peg, Chiquita

Now, That's a Real Gun Pressed Against Your Head

Tell Your Brain To Tell Your Mouth

Nobody Tells Anybody Anything

You Hear That, Fuck-O? Gun's Loaded

Celia, Get in the Fucking Prius

They Had Them on a Commune

I'm Gonna Fucking Kill Her

You Dont Get Your Tooth Back

Fuck Yeah Stick It To The Old People

My Life's A Toilet

You're a Fucking Downer

Child Of The Apocalypse

Bees Bad

You Put a Fucking Gun in My Mouth

Massive Dose of Fucked-Up Karma

I Have Repeatedly Allowed You To Fuck Me Over a Fence

I Wanna Traffic

Try Not to Look Homeless

Tortillera Lesbiana

Got Her On A Leash Now

I Got a Family to Support

Write Down How Much You Wanna Make This Year

No Runs. No Dealing. No More Drugs.

Who's the Fall Guy Now, Coyote Ugly?

Oh My God I Shot You in the Knee

Family Combo Please

You Need To Seek Medical Attention

Keep A Low Profile

What the F?

Be Wise for You To Re-Imagine The Events Of The Evening

You're All Scavengers

You're a Dark Little Fellow, Aren't You?

Those Are All The Cool Jews

Vintage Murdered-Dog Collars

You Get Lucky With The Rocky Mountain Chocalate Guy Last Night?

Little Rice Dick

Oh, a Mexican Man With a Machine Gun

There's a Giant Hole in the Floor

Stay Away From The Hole

Look at Yoga-Ass

Not On A White Women

Check Out Bitch Badge Or Is It Tramp Stamp?

Wow, Her Friend's Got Madonna Arms

Like the JetBlue of Coyotes

Asian With Big Fake Tits

I Don't Really Like Mexicans

By The Way Here's A Tunnel To Mexico

I'll Go Look For An Umbrella

Go, Have Children

Please Don't Act Like A Selfish Fucking Bitch

Laundry

Fucking You Ruined My Life

I Burned Through My Happiness

Gays Are Huge Chick Magnets

Leave the Wine and the Mag

I Could Never Forget An Ass Like That

We Sold $8,327 Worth of Lenny's Stuff

Or She's Out Selling Drugs

Think She Shaves Her Pits

A Mermex

You Understand That Your Mother Is Satan

Location Location Location

A Good Hard Spanking

Snooze You loose

You Sound Really Angry. Do You Need Sex?

I'm Living in A Frat House

Old Gynecological Instruments

I Can't Handle the Nightly Earthquakes Anymore

Find Somewhere Else To Scratch Your Fleas

Then Work With What You Have Or Fucking Move!

Gigantism Runs In Clinique's Family

Why Can't You Buy Your Drugs in the U.S.

Get Me A Fucking Taco

Xanax?

They're Like Jews and Wedding Hors D'oeuvres

An You Once Dated Liz Hurley

He Had A Baby With A White Women Mom

So How Do We Nab These Fuckers?

I Want My Own Fucking Bathroom.

Boys Are Disgusting

Goodbye Miata Hello Minivan

Jeez. What Are You Complaining About?

Always Leaving Shit Slicks Everywhere

You Wanna Sell Drugs?

You Should Really Think About The Cocaine Nancy

Surf Dicks and Gym Class

You're Our One Shot At Legitimacy

I'm Being Dropped Off in a Limo With Mexican Plates

Hand Mommy Her Pills

It's Either Global Warming Or God Is Dead

Moses Wasn't Half the Coyote I Am

Where the Scenery is a Little Less Rape-y

Sometimes You Eat the Bear Sometimes the Bear Eats you

He's Going to Get His Ass Kicked

Stab You With It

It's Like the Cheez Whiz Of Pot

You're Some Big Expert?

I Am Fucking A Teenage Drug Dealer?

Oh, My God. I've Been Smoking Cheez Whiz

What's a Marimacha?

You Announced That You Would Kill The Marimacha Bitch In Front Of H...

I Don't Feel Good

No Immigrants Storming Through

No Spic Just Span

You Never Sipped From Your Beer

Another Sweaty Glass Of Social Stigma

If Only Life Were a Judd Apatow Movie

Just Get It in Green. Come On

Put It Under Your Pillow Get A Dollar From The Shrapnel Fairy

My Success in Business Allows Me

You're Afraid of Dirty Beer Bottles

Sandwiches Are Bullshit

What Are You, Batman?

You'll Eat Lobster And I Will Eat You

Something Kind Of Fell Into My Lap

Be Back Later With Cheetos and Malt Balls If You Wanna Get High

I'll Paint Your Toenails

Great Cover Smell

Cornerstone of Democracy

The Mr. Botany Thing? It's Hot

You're Growing Pot With Your Girlfriend In A Cheese Shop

You're Fucking My 17-Year-Old Son

Give Me the Fucking Blow

This Is Way Outside My Kink Zone

Why Couldn't He Have Had A Gun?

Don't Tease Me, You Crusty Whore

Listen, You Cock-Juggling Thunder-Cunt

Try Not To Call Her A Thunder-Cunt

My Last Meal Was a Bowl of Chili Peanuts

The Way of El Andy

She's Bat-Shit Insane

Kung Pao Made Me Piss Out Of My Ass

That Needle Was Sticking Out Of Your Forehead

You Should Avoid The Areas Which Include Having Great Sex With Your...

It's a Little Quirky to Masturbate to Pictures of Your Mother

Takes A Village To Smuggle A Human

I'm a Sad and Lonely sidekick

Feel Free To Raid The Fridege

I Have a Breakfast Meeting in Another Country

He Projectile Vomits And Once It Was Blue

Like He's Special

My Mom Still Loves My Dad You Know

My Mom Says You Dress Like a Prostitute

My Mom's Probably Going on a Date With A Drug KingPin

She Didnt't Get Fat Did She?

Unless You've Grown An Extra Dick

Five Bucks Says He Pusses Out

I Swear I'm Not Trying to Get Out of Sex

It's Such an Unexpected Pleasure to See You, Loser

On TV They Don't Handcuff People For Their Interventions

Hump-Shouldered Victim Shit!

Who Could Resist a Little Capsule-Shaped Escape?

You're My Bitch

Who Could Resist a Little Capsule-Shaped Escape? [short]

But I Only Have a Headache

I'm Here Babysitting Your Insomniac Son

Do You Want the Truth?

Tell Him To Fuck Off

That's The Cool Breeze of Freedom Right There

I Lie To Myself All the Time

I Want a Girlfriend

Reproduction? Disease?

Did You Have Sex?

I Don't Want You Seeing Either of Those Scary Little Sluts Again

Tried Waking You for Nookie but You Sleep Like a Corpse

Can I Just See One Boob?

The Sexy, Scary, Beardy one?

I Do What I'm Told By Men With Semiautomatic Weapons

Sex Tired?

There's No Magical "Weed Only" Sign At The Entrance

I Drove A Camaro

I Think That Merits Some "Cockamole" On Her "Face-Ad...

That Ayahuasca Really Fucked Me Up

There Are Guns Coming Through the Tunnel Into Your City

Nothing Is Ever Enough But We Live And We Try

Been There Done That

Have I Taught You Nothing?

Your Mom's A Control Freak And Mine's Weak And Addiction-Prone

It's Gonna Look Like It Came From Me

I Am The Only One Here That Has Any Chance At All

Have This Recurring One Where I'm Playing Pool With Lou Dobbs

You Need to Get Your Gaydar Checked

That Man You Just Helped Is Gay, Gay, Gay

That Man Hearts Cock

And then ask me out

No Straight Man Knows What a Drop-Waist Dress Is

You Are Totally Making Me Reconsider Fucking Boys

I Am Not Giving Weed to My Little Brother

You're Already Stupid Enough

I'm Not Gonna Be Your Fucking Dealer

You're In Your Head Not Here

You And I Are Not Dark-Hearted

Would You Care to Dance With Me, Nancy Botwin?

I Threw Up on My Prom Date

Maria and I Had Sex

I Was a Fear Fuck

I Feel Like Shit

Department of Immigration and Naturalization

You Know We're Not Lesbians, Right?

Will You Be Looking Into Me?

I'll Buy You A Big Strap-On For Hanukkah

I'm Sorry for Being Married to You

I Could Care Less About Your Fucking Apologies

We Got Another 15 Minutes To Break The Law

He Didn't Have A Fucking Face

Who's the Fucking Animal on the Other Side of the Fence?

You Didn't Have to Have Her Deported

Shit's Blowing Up

I Don't Love Nancy, Okay?

I'm A Code Breaker

I'm Not In Love With Nancy

Happy Birthday To Me

I Can See Your Boobies

Are You Going to Jail?

When You Got Nothing You've Got Nothing To Lose

Until I Sell Your Ass Back Into Suburban Slavery

Tell Daddy Dean I Want 200,000

Fuck You and Your Faggy Revolution

Sometimes I Wish She'd Get Arrested Already

We're All A Bunch Of Babies

I'm Thinking of Buying Some Land in Mexico

I'm So Stressed From Trying To Maintain This Bullshit Lifestyle

You want a partner?

Of Course We Love Her

In A Mom-Loving Way

It Feels Like A Boy

cunt

cunt2

You instilled in me the same things your mother instilled in you

I fucking hate Mexicans

I'm Having Jerk-off Flashbacks

What Do You Mean I'm Not Looking So Hot Myself?

Put me on liquid diets and snuck laxatives into my chocolate stash

little man drugs

Remove All Soft Drinks From The Vending Machines

Because I Don't Think We Should Take Away The Diet Soda

Thank You, Nancy Botwin

It's A Knock Off, But You Can't Even Tell

Saw your picture right next to dumb ass white bitch

My Friend, Talisha, Tried That No Carbs

Gettin Skinny Cause Some Nigga Stole My Bag Of Food Diet

It's Stupid to Buy Expensive Shoes For A Three Year Old

You Calling Black People Stupid?

White People Steal. Enron, Worldcom

Maybe Black People Need to Start Stealing a Little Bit Bigger

Can Eyeball an Ounce From Outer Space With My Glasses Cracked

That's the Rain Man of Weed Right There

I'm A Bitch-Ass Bitch

I'm The Biggest Game In The Private Community

Drugs Sell Themselves, Biscuit. You Ain't Shit

You Not Givin' Me a Present. You're Payin' Me for Weed

Where You Rushin' Off to With Your Ass All on Fire?

Boom, Daddy Drops

I Fell Through the Skylight

They Were Making Out. But Nothing Naked

People Got Stoned for the Passion of the Christ?

You Don't Deal To Kids. Are We Clear?

If They're Too Young to Bleed, They're Too Young for Weed

You Should Take 'Er Easy On The Lattes

Thinking Of Putting Her On Thyroid Medication

I Wanna See More Running Out There

Ew! Shane Just Licked His Own Blood!

I Don't Feel Well. I Think I Have Rickets

I Had No Idea You Read Books

The Little Scumbag Sells Drugs Right On The Playground

I'm Going To Chase That Little Fucker Out Of Here

They Found a 10-Year Old With Marijuana

Am I Wierdo, Lipstick, Fruit Punch Or Vampire?

Unless You Wanna Go Back to Buying Ditch Weed

She's Such a Bitch. Great Tits

She Can't Shoot Tennis Balls Out Of Her Twat

She Stuck the Handle of a Racket Up Dean's Ass

Air Out the Van and Keep Your Smoke Private

The Kid Told Me He Was 37

You Promised Me No Kids

Keep Kids Off Drugs, Cries The Pot-Dealing Mom

Can We Have Sex In Your House?

She's Such an Uptight Prude

No Wonder My Dad's Screwing Helen Chin

I Know Everything. I Read Her Diary

I Think Pink's Really Your Color, Ya Fuckwad!

I Should Have Had an Abortion

You Gonna Play by the Rules?

What Did You Just Chuck at My Face?

Don't Tell Me You're Dry

Can't Believe I Trust You With My Money

I'm A Great Fucking CPA

Buy Low, Sell High

Can have a front to launder money through

In This Economy, Small Business Is Fucked

Were You So Threatened By Your Daughter's Sexuality

You Stuck Your Penis in Her

A Boat Is When I Spank This Boy's Black Ass

Then Log Off Of Hot Asian Chicks Suck Ass

Just Like a Nigga to Buy New Rims for His Bucket

Tennis-Shoe Pimp. That's 200

This Ain't Fucking Macy's

Stinking of marijuana, better than oriental pussy

Tracking Down the Tennis Whore

You Don't Say Fucking to Your Mother!

I'm Gonna Take Your Free Goat

You Are Lighter Than Michael Jackson

But Like My Momma Always Said, Tough Shit

Till Some Wrath of God Type Shit Happens

How About Up My Husband's Ass?

Very hot sex, he went down on me for days

Head buried in the snatch of the tennis pro

Listen, Most Guys Cheat

You're a Big Whore

Screw the Pansy Art Fags

Your Turn to Bring the Vodka

Yes, Yes, I Fucked Your Wife

No Needy More Weedy

I Only Sold You a Quarter Last Week

It's Like Amsterdam, Only Better

The Genius of Prop 215

The One Buzz-Kill Is You Can Only Buy Eight Ounces A Vist

A Virgin? Don't Worry I'll Be Gentle On You

You Hear That Dial Tone? My Clones Are Off the Hook

Hey, Any More Stephen Hawking?

And I Want an Ass Like Beyonce's

What's the World Comin' to When They Legalize Weed?

They Called Her Shit Girl

Heylia's a Lazy Fat Fat

My Name Is Shane I Bring the Pain Up From The Streets

White Folks Get Soda Pop, Niggas Get Bullets

You Must Be in Killer Shape

What About Growing? Ah Botany

Canada Rocks, Primo Weed, Good Chinese Food

Let Your Freak Flag Fly

I've Recently Stopped Giving a Shit What Anyone Thinks

My Name's Billy, I'm a Pothead

Hey Buddy, Do You Have a Problem?

He Shot a Mountain Lion, He Wrote a Gangster Rap

You Fucking Better

You have the Jew hair from your father's side

Slap My Ass

Wonder If Rats Like Peanut Butter?

He's Gay. He's Not a Pedophile

Motherfucking, Cock-Sucking Asshole!

Nice Haircut. It's a Wig. Oh Right, The Cancer Thing

The Stress Queen's Secret Stash

Taking ecstasy is like taking ice cream scoops out of the brain

How Can You Be So Blindly Pro-Bush?

They're Not Like Fred Flintstone Feet

I Need a Goodbye Kiss Or I'll Feel Cheap And Used

If I Married a Non-Jew I Couldn't Go To Rabbinical School

My Name Is Mom, or Mommy Dearest

You Think This Is About Your Arrogant Ass

Vegetarian pigs in the blanket are bullshit

I'm Begging You. This Is the End of the Road for Me

That's Grown Up Juice

Fuck You

Thank You, Compadre

Dad Can't Say Fuck, But You Can Say Pussy?

We're Gonna Be a Family if I Have to Kill All of You!

Being A Jew Means I Have No Foreskin

The Mecca Of Marijuana

My wife is fucking a Polish guy?

California Strain With White Rhino Backcrossed

Well, I Have Many Layers. I'm Like lasagna

I graduated magna cum loudly

There's This Kid at My School Who Always Picks His Nose

A man, a plan, a canal, Panama, It's A Palindrome

Are You Ready to Stop Being an Asshole?

He's Probably Been Flushing His Jerk Socks Down the Toilet

You're Taking Pussy to a Whole New Level

Step One, Peel the Banana

Tug Your Thomas on the Toilet, Shoot Right Into the Bowl

Grow Hydroponic Gourmet Organic Lettuces

Fucking Fuckers Fucks!

I'm Getting a Corn-Syrup Contact High Just Sitting Here

Hire the Guys Outside of Home Depot to Move Us?

Silas Got His Girlfriend Pregnant. Doggie Style

She Was The Blowjob Queen Of Dewey Street

Why Do You Have a Home-Pregnancy Test?

Well I Hope Grandma Is On That List

Be My Fucking Friend!

You're High Already. It's Not Even 4:20

Jade Took Me Into A Room And Told Me To Take Off My Pants

Dog Ate Two Toes Before Sanjay Stuck A Finger Up His Ass

When She Kicks The Shit Out Of Your Heart, I'll Buy You A Beer

I Can't Spend All Day In Bed Like Some People

I Thought You Had Ruach. I'm Filled With It!

You Scrawny, Selfish Little Pig

One Hit Takes The Shit And Rolls It Back

I Would Definitely Do You

That Is That Mother-Fucking Milf Weed

MILF Weed

I Want You To Pump The Music Up While I Talk About This Good Weed

Snoop Dogg Raps About MILF Weed

MILF Weed? This Shit Is About To Get Wild

You Do Drugs! You Do Drugs!

You Getting Soft In Your Old Age Or Something?

The Strain Is Called MILF. MILF Weed

What Does Kicking Ass Entail?

This Is Where You Find Out Who You Are

Tell Me, Agent, Where's The Next Big Bust?

Moves Mean You Think Things Through. You Have Been Reacting

He's a premature ejaculator

I'm Not Here To Replace Him. I Just Want To Sleep With Your Mom

He's Too Stoned To Drive

Is That Lippman Naked?

Pussycat Having A Nosebleed?

She stabbed me with an icicle

What The Fuck Is That? Dap. Say Dap Again

If Conrad Ain't Tapping That Pussy, That's One Dumb Nigger

You're Crazy And We're Crazy Does Not Mean We're Related

I Grow And Sell Marijuana

I Want To Lick The Space Where Your Toes Used To Be

Mom is Voldemort

Get The Fuck Out Of My Way

Our Pot! Fuck You!

So, What Am I Supposed To Do? Hike Home?

On My Phone, I Call It The Shrinking Pyramid

And I will shoot him in the kneecap and the elbow

Fugit irreparabile tempus, irretrievable time is flying

Here's About $13 In Change

We'll Meet Again. I'll Be Older, But I'll Still Be Hot

I'm Like A Deep Dicking Psychic

Then What Were You Doing Inside My Wife?

Shut Your Mouth Before I Piss In It

Those Armenians, They Like To Blow Shit Up, You Know?

I Gotta Shoot You In The Head

I'm a grower, not a shower

You Should Be Thanking Me For Not Having You Arrested

No, He's Not My Friend. He's Gonna Kill Me

Just Blow Her Fucking Brains Out

Like There Is An Obese Black Bag Boy

Holy Shit! That's One Crazy Bitch!

You Should Be Kissing My Ass In Spades

I'll Let You Keep A Couple Bricks Of That Pot If You Let Me Fuck Her

I Think You're Cool And All, But I Will Hurt You

Was That A Great Party Or What?

Hey, Can We Make Hot Fudge Sundaes?

You Want Another Man's Dick Up Your Ass

All dick besides your own is wrong

Some women got ugly titties

Do Fish Have Testicles?

So Quit Your Whining And Prepare to Serve

Wipe Your Ass With Seven Grand

How Can You Live In Los Angeles And Not Know Spanish?

I Want You To Do The Brick Dance For Me

No Baila, No Brick

Tell Him He's A Lawn Jockey Now

That Is Your Battle Buddy

Nancy Botwin? Agent Fundis. I'm Here To Talk About Peter Scottson

Well I got four dicks

We're The Goddamn USA. We're The Best

You Gotta Get Off My Dick, Dumb As It Might Be

I Gotta Forward This To My Fraternity Brothers

Scary. Deep Voice. Very Deep. Very Scary

I Was Getting The Mail, Shot In The Ass

Cucaracha Motherfuckers Need To Get Stomped!

Stuff Keeps Piling on

A Reconnaissance Drone Killed My Battle Buddy

You're Fucking Surrounded, Dipshit

A Murder Of The Worst Kind. An Abortion

Your Budget's Five Grand

Wear Something That Shows Off Those Sexy Legs

Eat Heroin Eggs For Breakfast

B9. Good News Your Tumor Is B9

Seedless Watermelon, Broccoflower, Aprium

Listen, Thug Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry

Hard hat and heels who's been sucking your dick

He Is. In Fact, He Likes It When I Get Stoned

Are You Gonna Tell on Me? Not If You Smoke Me Out

Wine's Okay Because Jesus Drank That

How Can You Be All Into Jesus And Still Smoke Weed?

I Can See Your Boner

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?

If You're Going To Shove Your Doctrine Down Our Throats

I'd Like To Solve The Mystery Of The School That Receives Federal F...

I'm At A Very Impressionable Age

I Honor God With My Abstinence

Evolution Is Just A Theory

Lexington Steele?

Why's The Black Guy Wearing A Pirate's Hat?

I'm A Blasphemous, Liberal Jew. What Could Be Worse Than That?

A Man Flying A Kite Found Scottson

What Did You Eat, Pastrami?

Agent Asshole Motherfucker Choke-on-My-Dick

What Are You Wearing? Indulge A Pervert

When Are We Gonna Have Sex Again?

I've Always Wanted To Be In Porn

She comes like a fountain, Lex is packing a Buick

Footfuckers. Scene One!

Use That Big Toe!

There's A Huge Market For These Fetish Videos

I Finish With The Backyard Mrs. Dowling

Or In This Case, Your Foot In Jessica

Lex Here Is Not An Unbelievably Enormous Dick

Fuck Like Bunnies

You Can Take Out Your Breast

What Division Were You In?

You've Got Great Breats

There Is A Cotton Barrier Between My Eggs And Yours

You're Being Hyperbolic

Some Crazy Bitch Drowned All The Shit In Her Swimming Pool

Keep Your Body Still. Move Your Lips

You're An Insane Stalker Person

Hi, Silas! I'm Gay

They Say When Christ Was Anointed With Oil By John the Baptist

The Youth Pastor Is A Wake-and-Baker

Buy More Drugs, Sell More Drugs

Weed-Mart, Potco, Homegrown Depot

I Have No Memory Of Giving Birth To You

I Need $100,000. Majestic Is Checking The Books Tomorrow

How Could You Leave All This?

I'm Starting To Think You Just Like Me For My Mother

It Makes A Girl Feel Like She Can't Get Any Attention

I Have To Go. I'll See You Tomorrow

You Were Elected By A City That No Longer Exists

Jordan Klein's Home From College For Summer Break

What Grown Man Has Blond Hair?

See That Biker Chick Over There?

I Really Need To Smoke Out

Risk Is All About Kamchatka

You Got A Boyfriend, Heylia?

Okay. This Weed Sucks

Well, It's Ditch Weed Drag

Do I Look Like I Am Ready To Be A Father?

Why Are Little Black Babies Always So Adorable?

If The Patriot Act Had Tits, I'd Buy It A Steak

I'm More Of A Bake And Broil Kind Of Girl

Microwaves. Think I Could Fit A Turkey In The Microwave?

The Power Of Passion Makes You Do Crazy Things

You Have To Change My Diaper So I Don't Get A Rash

I've Been Spending All My Cash On Coke And Man Whores

There Seems To Be An Outstanding Loan Here

I Thought You Were Dating Me

← Prev
1
2
3
Next →

View All

We have a blog, too.