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It Feels Like a Boy
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If You're Gonna Kill Me
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Cesar Will Drive You Home
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You Do What You Gotta Do
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Someone's Kidnapped Your Mother
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This Cookie Is Amazing
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Do You Guys Even Speak Spanish
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What Are the Marks on Your Neck?
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It's free, like the eagle
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Are You On Drugs?
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You Vultures
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Mexican Cats
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I Like Guys With Beards
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It's Gonna Be a Lot to Carry
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That Cunt Can Lick My Balls
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People Have Babies
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Sucked up into the alien craft
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Why I Need Some Pot
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How About You're Lazarus risen from the dead
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We'll kill her and sell her organs
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They're Gonna Saw You Open
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I survived cancer and rehab for this
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Do you have anymore of that stuff that made me sleep
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Muffin in the Muff
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Slutty Slut who had unprotected sex with a Mexican gangster
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Jill Price-Gray with a hyphen, bitchface
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Keeping her Mexican boyfriend from murdering us all
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You get one pube, you think you're a grown up
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My Beautiful Loaf
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You're Religious?
Play
Gotta pick up some stretch mark cream
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A Little Alert
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Bikini Wax, it hurts like hell but Esteban really likes it
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Hello, Butterfly
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The bottom guys get tattoos of titties on their backs
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You're the knocked up puta whore rat
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Puta Whore Rat
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Get Your Affairs in Order
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You're a Rebel Leader
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Always has an expression like she's smelling bad cheese
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Non-Cheese-Sniffing Girls
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She Witnessed a Korean Gang War
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She was engaged to a Choi and fell for a Sun Hoo
Play
Drinking Legally
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Indica-Sativa Blend
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My Dad's Dead
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Because I Trust You
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Machetes and knives separated by blade length
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I Have No Friends
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Daredevil girl survives fall, it wasn't a fall
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I've Been Drinking, And Smoking And I Had Raw Fish
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Terms of This Arrangement
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Dead Mom Walking
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Sucio Usually Tortures People
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He's Comfortable With His Man Smell
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You're a Lost Puppy
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No Shooty
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Children of the Corn
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Sucio Song
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This Place Gives Me the Creeps
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A Mexican Gyno? Down there you want a Jew
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Been off cocain and amphetamines for almost a week
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Go Relax
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Who's This Guy?
Play
Outdoor Shower
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Obama's President
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Where Marijuana's Involved There's Always Risk
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You've Made This the Family Business
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Mom I'm Selling Weed
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That's My Sister, You Can Shoot Her If You Want
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What a nasty whore their mommy is
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If you're not gonna help me, then fuck off
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I am very high and I'm not paranoid
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Bored with all the other kids her age
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This is Shabbas dinner
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The White Swallow
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You're gonna have a shower
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I Waited Until You Came
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Someday When You're Older
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I Have Fucked Up My Entire Life
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Fucking my Sister
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I was trying not to pee in my pants
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You Stuck Your Penis Inside My Mother
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I mixed Benadryl and Tegretol one time
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Even Donkeys are Scared
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What Does He Have That I Don't Have?
Play
Smoking in the Eco-Garden
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Hampster Get Raped With Sharpies
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Just In Time to Spot Me
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He's Wet Himself
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My Body is a Toxic Pit
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If I Pricked You Finger You'd Bleed A Rain Cloud
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Mommy needs to Get Drunk
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He's Heavier Than a Sea Turtle
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Going to burn his clothes, drain his blood and melt his bones with ...
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Looks Like Someone Shat a Tilt-a-Whirl
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Is It Okay to Impersonate Your Dead Brother
Play
What You Doing With All the Smokable Product?
Play
I'm a Botwin
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He Stinks Like Pig Shit
Play
Before you showed up and shit all over their dreams
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Make himself a fuck doll from a tire
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When We Came Together
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Alpha She-Wolf
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She Had Asperger's
Play
I Could Be a Supehero
Play
Rich White Children
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This baby has a one in five chance of bein autistic
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Gophers and Bunnies are gonna eat your plants
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Growers are usually too stoned to do math
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I'm a Master Negotiator
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You Don't Have a Gun
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Tiny Little Crumb
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It's Botwin, Motherfucker
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You Little Cock Goblin
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Jacked the Wrong Kid
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Fucking Loved Pudding Pops
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Fuck you and your bullshit charges in the butt
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Eat My Balls
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Looking a Little Stiff
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Love Dipping Things Into Other Things
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Deaf-Girl Fucker, Deaf-Fucker
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Retarded in the Mouth
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No tweetering, nothing electronic
Play
Try it and the toaster goes in with you
Play
When Flesh Hits Acid
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I need to be sandblasted, I need a hug
Play
Why is fucking Armageddon always coming down on me?
Play
Break his heart in ink
Play
We Will Get Married
Play
I Was Hammered
Play
Spinach gives you instant muscles and an anchor tattoo
Play
What Does That Mean
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Die Inky, Die Blinky
Play
Suffer For My Beliefs
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Don't have a scraggly moonshiner beard
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George Hamilton Autobiography
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Skeeves people out. Like midgets.
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What Would George Hamilton Do?
Play
My Heart Is in Couture
Play
I Wanna Be That Weasel
Play
Pizza Eggs
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Stiletto-heeled Mexi-cunt
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Silver-spooned oppressor
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Innocent Golfers
Play
Who Wants To Be Like Me
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My nipples are hard and my lady is wet
Play
Dick Ever Buy You a Cartier Panthere Watch
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Cold, creamy treats flavored with drugs
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I'm Seeing Storm Troopers
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I'm Through
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I Told You
Play
I Don't Want Your Pregnant Pity Hand Job
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Were You Really Gonna Jerk Me Off?
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Rob Me Blind
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There Goes the Dyke Market
Play
Head honcho. Grand Poobah
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Fine, keep your swarthy little jihadi
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You Do Have a Cute Butt
Play
I'm kind, funny, a total rock star in bed
Play
Where the Sidewalk Ends
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Just sort of throw you down on a table and fuck you
Play
I'm not Rapey Enough
Play
I fucking hate Mexicans
Play
I'm A Bitch
Play
Isn't that the whole point of life? Children? Propagation?
Play
Home-Birth Advocate
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You Can't Testify
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I Can Pay Cash
Play
These Comic-Con Freaks Like to Party
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You're a Fucking Jinx
Play
I'll Bang Blitts Cousin
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I've Been Seeing Other Patients
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Because You'd Eat Them
Play
This Little Milk Ball Was a Mistake
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I Can't Sell Makeup When Civilization is collapsing
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Tell that cunt to eat shit and die
Play
Business Has Been Just Fine
Play
Better Include a Rim Job
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You're cursed with schmuckness
Play
But first, his dick, this drawer, slam.
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You In My House
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You're a Father
Play
I Can Get you High
Play
They need me to get their shmarijuana back from the grolice
Play
I'm Smoking It
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Just tell them that you got ripped off by black people
Play
You Can Be Too Careful
Play
I'd Rather Laugh With the Sinners
Play
Balance a saltshaker on the bridge of your nose
Play
You're a Frozen Margarita
Play
Andy Jr., that's what I call my penis
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Apparently you need 10 Jews to watch him lose his dick-head
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Ganster Baby Daddy
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My Son Is Not Jewish
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My son's not gonna be raised by that pendejo
Play
Night Farts Happen
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He Probably Pooped
Play
Parenting Shit
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You Think I've Never Had My Nipples Clamped
Play
I've Got a Crooked Dick and There's No Pot?
Play
Chlamydia is Never nothing
Play
Smoke Now Pay Later
Play
Good Old Fashioned STD Scare
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I'm in an LGBT clinic waiting to see if my 14-year-old has a venere...
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I'm Never Having Sex Again
Play
I just had a Q-Tip in My Dick Hole
Play
I Got a Cat Hair Lodged in My Urethra One Time
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We'll Take Violet Over Vag
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So Fucking Male Yeast Infection
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The Human Body Is a Complex and Mysterious Experiment
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The Little Bastard Saved My Life
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Put Me On The Potty Stat
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Shut Up And Suck
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You Swallowed!
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You're Jerking Off?
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Come. Sleep.
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I Suckled You
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I Wanna Make a Lot of Money Selling Your Face Chemicals
Play
What The Fuck Am I Going To Do With A Dollar?
Play
Fuck your mom in the ass with a screwdriver!
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I'm Just Gonna Take Two For My Headache. Maybe Three
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I Wanna Go Float in Lake Esteban
Play
Please Don't Tell Anyone I Was a Nurse
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When You're Pretending To Be The Tooth Fairy
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Not Mexi-Dick
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Sniff Out All The Assholes In My Life
Play
Thats Pretty Gay Nurse Cesar
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He's A Jazz Muppet
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I'm Her Baby Daddy
Play
Is This An Occupational Hazard
Play
Like A Knife Popping the Same Balloon Over And Over
Play
There's an Elevator?
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Security, There's a Sweaty Jew in My Hallway
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It's Stuck In A Pocket Between My Balls
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Flaccid In The Acid
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One Big Happy
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No One Is Fine Around You
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Maybe Call a Girl Who Calls Me On My Shit
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It Would Be Like Throwing A Hot Dog Down A Hallway
Play
I Want Her Dead
Play
Who's The Better Jogger Now
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Goats Go Baaa
Play
Shut the Fuck Up Sheep
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Peasants Breast Feed
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Theiving Deceitful Whore Celia
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And Then There's No Shit
Play
How The Fuck Do You Get Them Under The Door?
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So For Now We Back Off The Weed
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What The Fuck You Doing On The Mound
Play
I'm David Blane In Mexico
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If You Don't Climax the Terrorists Win
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You Got Shot
Play
You Told Me You Would Take My Rug-Munching Ass To Reparative Therapy
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Am I Gonna Have To Get A Strap-On?
Play
Lezzy Humor
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It Felt Like There Were Eight Of You
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I Will Kill You Face Off
Play
The Ringmaster Touched My Tent Pole
Play
Like Memento
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Adelita Has a Stick Up Her Ass
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Not For Lack Of Effort
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Is That Why Your Dressed Like A Prostitute
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Maybe You're Turning Tricks
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Shenanigans
Play
I'm Gonna Ask Audra to Marry Me
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It's Always About Sex With You
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Family Of My Own
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I Have To Piss Like A Racehorse
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I Never Bring My Work Home
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Nope to Dope and Ugh to Drugs
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You're Terrified of Being Ordinary
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You Do Fuck All To Change Whats Going On
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I Will Not Suck Your Dick
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I'd Appreciate if You Didn't Ask My Mom
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Why Are You Still Dressed Like That?
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Get Me Some Bathroom Sex At Applebee's
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There You Are You Feral Bitch
Play
Wanna Lick My Crystal Balls
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I'll Have Your Legs Broken By A Mexican Goon
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Breast-Fed Both Of You
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I Hear Everyone Is Dying For John Mayer's Syphilis
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I've Known Ms. Pac-Man Longer
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Imprisonment Is the Glue That Holds You Together
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Then You Will Get A Headache And Leave
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You Look Good On TV
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What Would You Have Me Do
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One Of Them Had A Really Nice Ass
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I Don't Do Dick Anymore
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I Need Dick
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She Likes Girl Parts
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Stench of Pussy On Your Lips And Me With A Drawer Dented Dick
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Yunkie
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Just Means I Adjusted My Expectations
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I'm Fucking Steel
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Fucking idiots
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i'm Not Going To Become An IV Drug User
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Four If We Count The Balls Seperately
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I Couldn't Find A Golf Club
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Am I Under Arrest?
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I Am In A Sundress
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Someone I Thought Was A Friend
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You Should Be Questioning Nancy Botwin
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Did a Bird Just Crap on My Head?
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Best Bathroom Graffiti Ever
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I Think That's Offensive To Texans
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The Plasma's Riding Shotgun
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You Smell Like Gas
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We're On the Run Aren't We
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No, I Think She Hates You Too
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She Just Hates That I'm Not Jewish
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Flying Flu Bag
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You Sure You Don't Need to Pee or Birth a Texan Before We Go
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You Got Face Like A Goy
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How Am I Not Smelling It?
Play
Oh She's Great Actually and a Bitch
Play
In a Great Tough-Cookie Way
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Old People Creep Me Out
Play
I Spilled Gas On Myself When I Was Pouring It On The Furniture
Play
I Set The House On Fire
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I Don't Know Their Last Names but They Were Black
Play
The Gay Indian Kid and the Christian Girl
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Dad Once Told Me Bubbie Killed the Neighbor's Dog
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I Have a Parasitic Twin Growing Out Of My Stomach
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I Got a Picture Here of You With Sasquatch
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You're The Drugs Are Wrong Lady
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You Could Be Homeless For All We Know
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Diet Shasta In A Can
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I'm Mad At You Four Burning Our House Down
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That's How Long I've Been Sitting Here Waiting For You Guys
Play
You're An Asshole
Play
Some Giant Killer Dog Is Home
Play
Check It Out It's Snowing in Socal
Play
Hey, Do You Still Poop Yourself?
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Mine Tastse Like Vinyl Sofa
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A Dude Suite
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He's a Cripple With a Doctor's Note
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I'm Also Gonna Take All Your $5 Bills
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That'll Totally Reverse the Effects of 90-Plus Years of Life
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We're Baked Out Of Our Skulls
Play
It's Gonna Make Me Hate Being Gay
Play
Here We Sit Two Milks and a Cappuccino
Play
She is Super-Fierce
Play
Eating German Food and Smelling Like Gas
Play
I'm a Terrible Shiksa Monster Here to Terrorize Your Clan
Play
Look Whose Keeping Lists
Play
I'm Just Not Sure You're Mine
Play
The Ghost Of Hanukkah Future
Play
Hey I Get Laid All the Time and I Shit Like a Swiss Train
Play
Rinse Off The Nazi Plate
Play
My Children Are Sleeping Next To Their Unborn Cousins
Play
He Once Showed Me Naked Pictures of You, You Know?
Play
I Hadn't Counted on the Dying Woman in the Living Room
Play
A Plan in the Planning Stages If You Will
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I Saw My Grandmother's Vagina
Play
Get Into Something Crazy Like A Donkey Show
Play
I Won't Bring Heroin
Play
We Should've Done This Years Ago
Play
That's Silas Watering His Pot Plants in the Shower
Play
We Don't Shit Where We Eat Or Eat Where We Shit
Play
All Gay Boys Know What a Dust Ruffle Is
Play
It's Like Taking A Shit On Mushrooms
Play
I've Taken A Shit On Mushrooms
Play
Listen Bonnie and Clyde
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Like A Rape Kit?
Play
What Sort of Potentially Illegal Activity Are You Engaging In
Play
Psychotic Gangster, Burned-Down Agrestic Guillermo?
Play
The Toilets are Metal
Play
The Money Doesn't Like It When You Ask Questions
Play
Don't Fuck With Good Luck
Play
You Gonna Take a Little Drive for Me Today Blanca
Play
Spoon-Fed Americana
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So Stay Out Of My Stuff If You Ever Wanna Handle Your Little Shmeck...
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If She Dies On Your Watch It's Your Fault
Play
My Cellmate Chita Says She That She Is Going To Make Me Her Special...
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Una Brake Light Especial
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Dead Iraqi Children
Play
That's Illegal
Play
You're Damaged
Play
Doug Says Everyone Fingered Celia
Play
Something About Target
Play
Leave Her Alone. She's a Bag of Broccoli.
Play
Oh, You Think There's a Tiny Little Immigrant Stuffed in My Lipstick
Play
It's Like Bunking With Darth Vader
Play
She's Like A Painting
Play
The Bubbie That Doesn't Blink
Play
Do Women Go Bald?
Play
I'll Shit Sunflowers
Play
Happiness is an Empty Bladder
Play
Chewie Took A Shit In A Bread Bag One Time
Play
Check-My-Shit-Out Technicolor Slut Suit
Play
Get Yourself Some J. Crew
Play
Life Is Just Blah Blah Blah
Play
Like An Incredibly Humane, Merciful, Dignified, Yes
Play
Start Thinking North-South
Play
I Fucking Love Whales
Play
You Talk To Dead People
Play
Three-Men Approach
Play
Fucking Hotel Key
Play
Pam, Get Your Head Out of Huell's Ass
Play
It's On The Tip Of My Tongue
Play
You Might Also Want To Make A Hat Out Of My Kidney
Play
I Think You're Having Problems Letting Go
Play
I'll Give You a Beer if You Go Away
Play
I Want You To Enter Her Into The Dirt Derby
Play
Psychic My Mother
Play
I Need to Go Kill My Dead Husband's Grandmother Now
Play
Unless You Own A Horse
Play
You Collected Many Excellent Treasures
Play
Oh, and That Foot Thing Makes You Totally Gay
Play
Get Mommy A Pillow
Play
Did She Leave a Will?
Play
Your Mother is a Wild Card
Play
A Hypoallergenic Pillow From Bed Bath & Beyond
Play
How Is It That All Jews Aren't Morbidly Obese?
Play
Please Get Out Of My House
Play
I Just Need A Place To Bust Out My Nug Nugs
Play
I'd Never Leave The Fucking House
Play
It Was Tempur-Pedic. Conformed To Her Face
Play
Leggy Chicas With Suitcases You Wanna Fuck In The Mouth
Play
What Do I Need a Gun For?
Play
Well, With All Due Respect, Fuck You
Play
Yellow Is Drek, Green Is Crap, Blue Is Shit
Play
I Found Nancy
Play
I Can't Feel My Left Anything.
Play
Warts, Not Gone. Technically My Fault
Play
I'm Toasted
Play
You Suck Dick, Silas?
Play
Can You Use the Downstairs Toilet From Now on, Mr. Wilson?
Play
You Think You're Better Than Me, Botwin, Becasue Your Van Has No Wi...
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Puposeless, Directionless, Homeless
Play
You're Fucked On Silas' Weed.
Play
What If It's a Fucking Alien?
Play
Calm The Fuck Down Or I'll Shoot You
Play
I'm Starting To Freak Out Again
Play
Genocide Can Happen Again if We're Not Vigilant
Play
I Don't Think That's Bubbie's Money
Play
Why Would Your Mom Have $15,000, in Cash, Hidden in a Hatbox?
Play
Is Your Mother a Prostitute?
Play
Did She Rob a Bank?
Play
Your Mother's a Weed Dealer
Play
We're All Alone
Play
That's a Lot of Product
Play
We Gotta Move to Mexico
Play
Our Grow House Just Got Towed
Play
What Am I Gonna Eat?
Play
You Kiss Well
Play
You're an Asshole
Play
Sometimes Life Throws You Unexpected Surprises
Play
Bubbie Was My Fucking Cooler
Play
You and Your Drug Dealing Mommy?
Play
You're A Giant Tell
Play
Enough Philosopher King Bullshit
Play
Take It Down a Peg, Chiquita
Play
Now, That's a Real Gun Pressed Against Your Head
Play
Tell Your Brain To Tell Your Mouth
Play
Nobody Tells Anybody Anything
Play
You Hear That, Fuck-O? Gun's Loaded
Play
Celia, Get in the Fucking Prius
Play
They Had Them on a Commune
Play
I'm Gonna Fucking Kill Her
Play
You Dont Get Your Tooth Back
Play
Fuck Yeah Stick It To The Old People
Play
Eating Cereal
Play
My Life's A Toilet
Play
You're a Fucking Downer
Play
Child Of The Apocalypse
Play
Bees Bad
Play
You Put a Fucking Gun in My Mouth
Play
Massive Dose of Fucked-Up Karma
Play
I Have Repeatedly Allowed You To Fuck Me Over a Fence
Play
I Wanna Traffic
Play
Try Not to Look Homeless
Play
Tortillera Lesbiana
Play
Got Her On A Leash Now
Play
I Got a Family to Support
Play
Write Down How Much You Wanna Make This Year
Play
No Runs. No Dealing. No More Drugs.
Play
Who's the Fall Guy Now, Coyote Ugly?
Play
Oh My God I Shot You in the Knee
Play
Family Combo Please
Play
You Need To Seek Medical Attention
Play
Keep A Low Profile
Play
What the F?
Play
I Have Rights
Play
Be Wise for You To Re-Imagine The Events Of The Evening
Play
You're All Scavengers
Play
You're a Dark Little Fellow, Aren't You?
Play
Those Are All The Cool Jews
Play
Vintage Murdered-Dog Collars
Play
You Get Lucky With The Rocky Mountain Chocalate Guy Last Night?
Play
Little Rice Dick
Play
Oh, a Mexican Man With a Machine Gun
Play
There's a Giant Hole in the Floor
Play
Stay Away From The Hole
Play
Look at Yoga-Ass
Play
Not On A White Women
Play
Check Out Bitch Badge Or Is It Tramp Stamp?
Play
Wow, Her Friend's Got Madonna Arms
Play
Like the JetBlue of Coyotes
Play
Asian With Big Fake Tits
Play
I Don't Really Like Mexicans
Play
By The Way Here's A Tunnel To Mexico
Play
I'll Go Look For An Umbrella
Play
Go, Have Children
Play
Please Don't Act Like A Selfish Fucking Bitch
Play
Laundry
Play
Fucking You Ruined My Life
Play
I Burned Through My Happiness
Play
Gays Are Huge Chick Magnets
Play
Leave the Wine and the Mag
Play
I Could Never Forget An Ass Like That
Play
We Sold $8,327 Worth of Lenny's Stuff
Play
Or She's Out Selling Drugs
Play
Think She Shaves Her Pits
Play
A Mermex
Play
You Understand That Your Mother Is Satan
Play
Location Location Location
Play
Nancy Botwin
Play
A Good Hard Spanking
Play
Snooze You loose
Play
You Sound Really Angry. Do You Need Sex?
Play
I'm Living in A Frat House
Play
Old Gynecological Instruments
Play
I Can't Handle the Nightly Earthquakes Anymore
Play
Find Somewhere Else To Scratch Your Fleas
Play
Then Work With What You Have Or Fucking Move!
Play
Gigantism Runs In Clinique's Family
Play
Why Can't You Buy Your Drugs in the U.S.
Play
Get Me A Fucking Taco
Play
Xanax?
Play
They're Like Jews and Wedding Hors D'oeuvres
Play
An You Once Dated Liz Hurley
Play
He Had A Baby With A White Women Mom
Play
So How Do We Nab These Fuckers?
Play
I Want My Own Fucking Bathroom.
Play
Boys Are Disgusting
Play
Goodbye Miata Hello Minivan
Play
Jeez. What Are You Complaining About?
Play
Always Leaving Shit Slicks Everywhere
Play
You Wanna Sell Drugs?
Play
You Should Really Think About The Cocaine Nancy
Play
Surf Dicks and Gym Class
Play
You're Our One Shot At Legitimacy
Play
I'm Being Dropped Off in a Limo With Mexican Plates
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Hand Mommy Her Pills
Play
It's Either Global Warming Or God Is Dead
Play
Moses Wasn't Half the Coyote I Am
Play
Where the Scenery is a Little Less Rape-y
Play
Sometimes You Eat the Bear Sometimes the Bear Eats you
Play
He's Going to Get His Ass Kicked
Play
Stab You With It
Play
It's Like the Cheez Whiz Of Pot
Play
You're Some Big Expert?
Play
I Am Fucking A Teenage Drug Dealer?
Play
Oh, My God. I've Been Smoking Cheez Whiz
Play
What's a Marimacha?
Play
You Announced That You Would Kill The Marimacha Bitch In Front Of H...
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I Don't Feel Good
Play
No Immigrants Storming Through
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No Spic Just Span
Play
You Never Sipped From Your Beer
Play
Another Sweaty Glass Of Social Stigma
Play
If Only Life Were a Judd Apatow Movie
Play
Just Get It in Green. Come On
Play
I Am The Table
Play
Put It Under Your Pillow Get A Dollar From The Shrapnel Fairy
Play
My Success in Business Allows Me
Play
You're Afraid of Dirty Beer Bottles
Play
Sandwiches Are Bullshit
Play
What Are You, Batman?
Play
You'll Eat Lobster And I Will Eat You
Play
Something Kind Of Fell Into My Lap
Play
Be Back Later With Cheetos and Malt Balls If You Wanna Get High
Play
I'll Paint Your Toenails
Play
Great Cover Smell
Play
Cornerstone of Democracy
Play
The Mr. Botany Thing? It's Hot
Play
I Have a Boner
Play
You're Growing Pot With Your Girlfriend In A Cheese Shop
Play
You're Fucking My 17-Year-Old Son
Play
Give Me the Fucking Blow
Play
This Is Way Outside My Kink Zone
Play
Why Couldn't He Have Had A Gun?
Play
Don't Tease Me, You Crusty Whore
Play
Listen, You Cock-Juggling Thunder-Cunt
Play
Try Not To Call Her A Thunder-Cunt
Play
My Last Meal Was a Bowl of Chili Peanuts
Play
The Way of El Andy
Play
She's Bat-Shit Insane
Play
Kung Pao Made Me Piss Out Of My Ass
Play
That Needle Was Sticking Out Of Your Forehead
Play
You Should Avoid The Areas Which Include Having Great Sex With Your...
Play
It's a Little Quirky to Masturbate to Pictures of Your Mother
Play
Takes A Village To Smuggle A Human
Play
I'm a Sad and Lonely sidekick
Play
Feel Free To Raid The Fridege
Play
I Have a Breakfast Meeting in Another Country
Play
He Projectile Vomits And Once It Was Blue
Play
Like He's Special
Play
My Mom Still Loves My Dad You Know
Play
My Mom Says You Dress Like a Prostitute
Play
My Mom's Probably Going on a Date With A Drug KingPin
Play
She Didnt't Get Fat Did She?
Play
Unless You've Grown An Extra Dick
Play
Five Bucks Says He Pusses Out
Play
I Swear I'm Not Trying to Get Out of Sex
Play
It's Such an Unexpected Pleasure to See You, Loser
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On TV They Don't Handcuff People For Their Interventions
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Heavy Snacks
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Hump-Shouldered Victim Shit!
Play
Who Could Resist a Little Capsule-Shaped Escape?
Play
You're My Bitch
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Who Could Resist a Little Capsule-Shaped Escape? [short]
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It's Ayahuasca
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But I Only Have a Headache
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I'm Here Babysitting Your Insomniac Son
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Do You Want the Truth?
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Tell Him To Fuck Off
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That's The Cool Breeze of Freedom Right There
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I Lie To Myself All the Time
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I Want a Girlfriend
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Reproduction? Disease?
Play
Did You Have Sex?
Play
I Don't Want You Seeing Either of Those Scary Little Sluts Again
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You Had Boys
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Tried Waking You for Nookie but You Sleep Like a Corpse
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Can I Just See One Boob?
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The Sexy, Scary, Beardy one?
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I Do What I'm Told By Men With Semiautomatic Weapons
Play
Sex Tired?
Play
There's No Magical "Weed Only" Sign At The Entrance
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I Drove A Camaro
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Fucking AIDS
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I Think That Merits Some "Cockamole" On Her "Face-Ad...
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That Ayahuasca Really Fucked Me Up
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Charity Waits
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There Are Guns Coming Through the Tunnel Into Your City
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Nothing Is Ever Enough But We Live And We Try
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Been There Done That
Play
Have I Taught You Nothing?
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Your Mom's A Control Freak And Mine's Weak And Addiction-Prone
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It's Gonna Look Like It Came From Me
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I Am The Only One Here That Has Any Chance At All
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Have This Recurring One Where I'm Playing Pool With Lou Dobbs
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You Need to Get Your Gaydar Checked
Play
That Man You Just Helped Is Gay, Gay, Gay
Play
That Man Hearts Cock
Play
And then ask me out
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No Straight Man Knows What a Drop-Waist Dress Is
Play
You Are Totally Making Me Reconsider Fucking Boys
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I Am Not Giving Weed to My Little Brother
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You're Already Stupid Enough
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I'm Not Gonna Be Your Fucking Dealer
Play
You're In Your Head Not Here
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You And I Are Not Dark-Hearted
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Would You Care to Dance With Me, Nancy Botwin?
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I Threw Up on My Prom Date
Play
Maria and I Had Sex
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I Was a Fear Fuck
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I Feel Like Shit
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Department of Immigration and Naturalization
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You Know We're Not Lesbians, Right?
Play
Will You Be Looking Into Me?
Play
I'll Buy You A Big Strap-On For Hanukkah
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I'm Sorry for Being Married to You
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I Could Care Less About Your Fucking Apologies
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We Got Another 15 Minutes To Break The Law
Play
He Didn't Have A Fucking Face
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Who's the Fucking Animal on the Other Side of the Fence?
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You Didn't Have to Have Her Deported
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Shit's Blowing Up
Play
I Don't Love Nancy, Okay?
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I'm A Code Breaker
Play
I'm Not In Love With Nancy
Play
Happy Birthday To Me
Play
I Can See Your Boobies
Play
Are You Going to Jail?
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Right Or Wrong
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When You Got Nothing You've Got Nothing To Lose
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Until I Sell Your Ass Back Into Suburban Slavery
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Tell Daddy Dean I Want 200,000
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Fuck You and Your Faggy Revolution
Play
Sometimes I Wish She'd Get Arrested Already
Play
We're All A Bunch Of Babies
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I'm Thinking of Buying Some Land in Mexico
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I'm So Stressed From Trying To Maintain This Bullshit Lifestyle
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You want a partner?
Play
Of Course We Love Her
Play
In A Mom-Loving Way
Play
It Feels Like A Boy
Play
It's Too Late
Play
cunt
Play
cunt2
Play
You instilled in me the same things your mother instilled in you
Play
I fucking hate Mexicans
Play
I'm Having Jerk-off Flashbacks
Play
What Do You Mean I'm Not Looking So Hot Myself?
Play
Put me on liquid diets and snuck laxatives into my chocolate stash
Play
little man drugs
Play
Remove All Soft Drinks From The Vending Machines
Play
Because I Don't Think We Should Take Away The Diet Soda
Play
Thank You, Nancy Botwin
Play
It's A Knock Off, But You Can't Even Tell
Play
Saw your picture right next to dumb ass white bitch
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Gettin Skinny Cause Some Nigga Stole My Bag Of Food Diet
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It's Stupid to Buy Expensive Shoes For A Three Year Old
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You Calling Black People Stupid?
Play
White People Steal. Enron, Worldcom
Play
Maybe Black People Need to Start Stealing a Little Bit Bigger
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Can Eyeball an Ounce From Outer Space With My Glasses Cracked
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That's the Rain Man of Weed Right There
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I'm A Bitch-Ass Bitch
Play
I'm The Biggest Game In The Private Community
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Drugs Sell Themselves, Biscuit. You Ain't Shit
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You Not Givin' Me a Present. You're Payin' Me for Weed
Play
Where You Rushin' Off to With Your Ass All on Fire?
Play
Boom, Daddy Drops
Play
I Fell Through the Skylight
Play
They Were Making Out. But Nothing Naked
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People Got Stoned for the Passion of the Christ?
Play
You Don't Deal To Kids. Are We Clear?
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If They're Too Young to Bleed, They're Too Young for Weed
Play
You Should Take 'Er Easy On The Lattes
Play
Thinking Of Putting Her On Thyroid Medication
Play
I Wanna See More Running Out There
Play
Ew! Shane Just Licked His Own Blood!
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I Don't Feel Well. I Think I Have Rickets
Play
I Had No Idea You Read Books
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The Little Scumbag Sells Drugs Right On The Playground
Play
I'm Going To Chase That Little Fucker Out Of Here
Play
They Found a 10-Year Old With Marijuana
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Am I Wierdo, Lipstick, Fruit Punch Or Vampire?
Play
Unless You Wanna Go Back to Buying Ditch Weed
Play
She's Such a Bitch. Great Tits
Play
She Can't Shoot Tennis Balls Out Of Her Twat
Play
She Stuck the Handle of a Racket Up Dean's Ass
Play
Air Out the Van and Keep Your Smoke Private
Play
The Kid Told Me He Was 37
Play
You Promised Me No Kids
Play
Keep Kids Off Drugs, Cries The Pot-Dealing Mom
Play
Can We Have Sex In Your House?
Play
She's Such an Uptight Prude
Play
No Wonder My Dad's Screwing Helen Chin
Play
I Know Everything. I Read Her Diary
Play
I Think Pink's Really Your Color, Ya Fuckwad!
Play
I Should Have Had an Abortion
Play
You Gonna Play by the Rules?
Play
What Did You Just Chuck at My Face?
Play
Don't Tell Me You're Dry
Play
Can't Believe I Trust You With My Money
Play
I'm A Great Fucking CPA
Play
Buy Low, Sell High
Play
Can have a front to launder money through
Play
In This Economy, Small Business Is Fucked
Play
Were You So Threatened By Your Daughter's Sexuality
Play
You Stuck Your Penis in Her
Play
A Boat Is When I Spank This Boy's Black Ass
Play
Then Log Off Of Hot Asian Chicks Suck Ass
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Just Like a Nigga to Buy New Rims for His Bucket
Play
Tennis-Shoe Pimp. That's 200
Play
This Ain't Fucking Macy's
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Stinking of marijuana, better than oriental pussy
Play
Tracking Down the Tennis Whore
Play
You Don't Say Fucking to Your Mother!
Play
I'm Gonna Take Your Free Goat
Play
You Are Lighter Than Michael Jackson
Play
But Like My Momma Always Said, Tough Shit
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Till Some Wrath of God Type Shit Happens
Play
How About Up My Husband's Ass?
Play
Very hot sex, he went down on me for days
Play
Head buried in the snatch of the tennis pro
Play
Listen, Most Guys Cheat
Play
You're a Big Whore
Play
Screw the Pansy Art Fags
Play
Your Turn to Bring the Vodka
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Yes, Yes, I Fucked Your Wife
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No Needy More Weedy
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I Only Sold You a Quarter Last Week
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It's Like Amsterdam, Only Better
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The Genius of Prop 215
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The One Buzz-Kill Is You Can Only Buy Eight Ounces A Vist
Play
A Virgin? Don't Worry I'll Be Gentle On You
Play
You Hear That Dial Tone? My Clones Are Off the Hook
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Hey, Any More Stephen Hawking?
Play
And I Want an Ass Like Beyonce's
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What's the World Comin' to When They Legalize Weed?
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They Called Her Shit Girl
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Heylia's a Lazy Fat Fat
Play
My Name Is Shane I Bring the Pain Up From The Streets
Play
White Folks Get Soda Pop, Niggas Get Bullets
Play
You Must Be in Killer Shape
Play
What About Growing? Ah Botany
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Canada Rocks, Primo Weed, Good Chinese Food
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Let Your Freak Flag Fly
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I've Recently Stopped Giving a Shit What Anyone Thinks
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My Name's Billy, I'm a Pothead
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Hey Buddy, Do You Have a Problem?
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He Shot a Mountain Lion, He Wrote a Gangster Rap
Play
You Fucking Better
Play
You have the Jew hair from your father's side
Play
Slap My Ass
Play
Wonder If Rats Like Peanut Butter?
Play
He's Gay. He's Not a Pedophile
Play
Motherfucking, Cock-Sucking Asshole!
Play
Nice Haircut. It's a Wig. Oh Right, The Cancer Thing
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The Stress Queen's Secret Stash
Play
Taking ecstasy is like taking ice cream scoops out of the brain
Play
How Can You Be So Blindly Pro-Bush?
Play
They're Not Like Fred Flintstone Feet
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I Need a Goodbye Kiss Or I'll Feel Cheap And Used
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If I Married a Non-Jew I Couldn't Go To Rabbinical School
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My Name Is Mom, or Mommy Dearest
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You Think This Is About Your Arrogant Ass
Play
Vegetarian pigs in the blanket are bullshit
Play
I'm Begging You. This Is the End of the Road for Me
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That's Grown Up Juice
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Fuck You
Play
Thank You, Compadre
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Dad Can't Say Fuck, But You Can Say Pussy?
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We're Gonna Be a Family if I Have to Kill All of You!
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Being A Jew Means I Have No Foreskin
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The Mecca Of Marijuana
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My wife is fucking a Polish guy?
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California Strain With White Rhino Backcrossed
Play
Well, I Have Many Layers. I'm Like lasagna
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I graduated magna cum loudly
Play
There's This Kid at My School Who Always Picks His Nose
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A man, a plan, a canal, Panama, It's A Palindrome
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Are You Ready to Stop Being an Asshole?
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He's Probably Been Flushing His Jerk Socks Down the Toilet
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You're Taking Pussy to a Whole New Level
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Step One, Peel the Banana
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Tug Your Thomas on the Toilet, Shoot Right Into the Bowl
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Grow Hydroponic Gourmet Organic Lettuces
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Fucking Fuckers Fucks!
Play
I'm Getting a Corn-Syrup Contact High Just Sitting Here
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Hire the Guys Outside of Home Depot to Move Us?
Play
Silas Got His Girlfriend Pregnant. Doggie Style
Play
She Was The Blowjob Queen Of Dewey Street
Play
Why Do You Have a Home-Pregnancy Test?
Play
Well I Hope Grandma Is On That List
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Be My Fucking Friend!
Play
You're High Already. It's Not Even 4:20
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Jade Took Me Into A Room And Told Me To Take Off My Pants
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Dog Ate Two Toes Before Sanjay Stuck A Finger Up His Ass
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When She Kicks The Shit Out Of Your Heart, I'll Buy You A Beer
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Orion's belt
Play
I Can't Spend All Day In Bed Like Some People
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I Thought You Had Ruach. I'm Filled With It!
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You Scrawny, Selfish Little Pig
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One Hit Takes The Shit And Rolls It Back
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I Would Definitely Do You
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That Is That Mother-Fucking Milf Weed
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MILF Weed
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I Want You To Pump The Music Up While I Talk About This Good Weed
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Snoop Dogg Raps About MILF Weed
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MILF Weed? This Shit Is About To Get Wild
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You Do Drugs! You Do Drugs!
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You Getting Soft In Your Old Age Or Something?
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The Strain Is Called MILF. MILF Weed
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What Does Kicking Ass Entail?
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This Is Where You Find Out Who You Are
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Tell Me, Agent, Where's The Next Big Bust?
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Moves Mean You Think Things Through. You Have Been Reacting
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He's a premature ejaculator
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I'm Not Here To Replace Him. I Just Want To Sleep With Your Mom
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He's Too Stoned To Drive
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Is That Lippman Naked?
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Pussycat Having A Nosebleed?
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She stabbed me with an icicle
Play
What The Fuck Is That? Dap. Say Dap Again
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If Conrad Ain't Tapping That Pussy, That's One Dumb Nigger
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You're Crazy And We're Crazy Does Not Mean We're Related
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I Grow And Sell Marijuana
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I Want To Lick The Space Where Your Toes Used To Be
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Mom is Voldemort
Play
Get The Fuck Out Of My Way
Play
Our Pot! Fuck You!
Play
So, What Am I Supposed To Do? Hike Home?
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On My Phone, I Call It The Shrinking Pyramid
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And I will shoot him in the kneecap and the elbow
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Fugit irreparabile tempus, irretrievable time is flying
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Here's About $13 In Change
Play
We'll Meet Again. I'll Be Older, But I'll Still Be Hot
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I'm Like A Deep Dicking Psychic
Play
Then What Were You Doing Inside My Wife?
Play
Shut Your Mouth Before I Piss In It
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Those Armenians, They Like To Blow Shit Up, You Know?
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I Gotta Shoot You In The Head
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I'm a grower, not a shower
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You Should Be Thanking Me For Not Having You Arrested
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No, He's Not My Friend. He's Gonna Kill Me
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Just Blow Her Fucking Brains Out
Play
Like There Is An Obese Black Bag Boy
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Holy Shit! That's One Crazy Bitch!
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You Should Be Kissing My Ass In Spades
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I'll Let You Keep A Couple Bricks Of That Pot If You Let Me Fuck Her
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I Think You're Cool And All, But I Will Hurt You
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Was That A Great Party Or What?
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Hey, Can We Make Hot Fudge Sundaes?
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I'm A Winner
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You Want Another Man's Dick Up Your Ass
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All dick besides your own is wrong
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Some women got ugly titties
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Do Fish Have Testicles?
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So Quit Your Whining And Prepare to Serve
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Wipe Your Ass With Seven Grand
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How Can You Live In Los Angeles And Not Know Spanish?
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I Want You To Do The Brick Dance For Me
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No Baila, No Brick
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Tell Him He's A Lawn Jockey Now
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That Is Your Battle Buddy
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Nancy Botwin? Agent Fundis. I'm Here To Talk About Peter Scottson
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Well I got four dicks
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We're The Goddamn USA. We're The Best
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You Gotta Get Off My Dick, Dumb As It Might Be
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I Gotta Forward This To My Fraternity Brothers
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Scary. Deep Voice. Very Deep. Very Scary
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I Was Getting The Mail, Shot In The Ass
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Cucaracha Motherfuckers Need To Get Stomped!
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Stuff Keeps Piling on
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A Reconnaissance Drone Killed My Battle Buddy
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You're Fucking Surrounded, Dipshit
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A Murder Of The Worst Kind. An Abortion
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Your Budget's Five Grand
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Wear Something That Shows Off Those Sexy Legs
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Eat Heroin Eggs For Breakfast
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B9. Good News Your Tumor Is B9
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Seedless Watermelon, Broccoflower, Aprium
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Listen, Thug Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry
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Hard hat and heels who's been sucking your dick
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He Is. In Fact, He Likes It When I Get Stoned
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Are You Gonna Tell on Me? Not If You Smoke Me Out
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Wine's Okay Because Jesus Drank That
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I Can See Your Boner
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Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?
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If You're Going To Shove Your Doctrine Down Our Throats
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I'd Like To Solve The Mystery Of The School That Receives Federal F...
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I'm At A Very Impressionable Age
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I'm A Virgin
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I Honor God With My Abstinence
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Evolution Is Just A Theory
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Lexington Steele?
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Why's The Black Guy Wearing A Pirate's Hat?
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I'm A Blasphemous, Liberal Jew. What Could Be Worse Than That?
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A Man Flying A Kite Found Scottson
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What Did You Eat, Pastrami?
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Agent Asshole Motherfucker Choke-on-My-Dick
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What Are You Wearing? Indulge A Pervert
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When Are We Gonna Have Sex Again?
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I've Always Wanted To Be In Porn
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She comes like a fountain, Lex is packing a Buick
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Footfuckers. Scene One!
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Use That Big Toe!
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There's A Huge Market For These Fetish Videos
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I Finish With The Backyard Mrs. Dowling
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Or In This Case, Your Foot In Jessica
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Lex Here Is Not An Unbelievably Enormous Dick
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Fuck Like Bunnies
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You Can Take Out Your Breast
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What Division Were You In?
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You've Got Great Breats
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There Is A Cotton Barrier Between My Eggs And Yours
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You're Being Hyperbolic
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Some Crazy Bitch Drowned All The Shit In Her Swimming Pool
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Keep Your Body Still. Move Your Lips
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You're An Insane Stalker Person
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Hi, Silas! I'm Gay
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They Say When Christ Was Anointed With Oil By John the Baptist
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The Youth Pastor Is A Wake-and-Baker
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Buy More Drugs, Sell More Drugs
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Weed-Mart, Potco, Homegrown Depot
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I Have No Memory Of Giving Birth To You
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I Need $100,000. Majestic Is Checking The Books Tomorrow
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How Could You Leave All This?
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I'm Starting To Think You Just Like Me For My Mother
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It Makes A Girl Feel Like She Can't Get Any Attention
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I Have To Go. I'll See You Tomorrow
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You Were Elected By A City That No Longer Exists
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Jordan Klein's Home From College For Summer Break
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What Grown Man Has Blond Hair?
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See That Biker Chick Over There?
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I Really Need To Smoke Out
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Risk Is All About Kamchatka
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You Got A Boyfriend, Heylia?
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Okay. This Weed Sucks
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Well, It's Ditch Weed Drag
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Do I Look Like I Am Ready To Be A Father?
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Why Are Little Black Babies Always So Adorable?
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If The Patriot Act Had Tits, I'd Buy It A Steak
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I'm More Of A Bake And Broil Kind Of Girl
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Microwaves. Think I Could Fit A Turkey In The Microwave?
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The Power Of Passion Makes You Do Crazy Things
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You Have To Change My Diaper So I Don't Get A Rash
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I've Been Spending All My Cash On Coke And Man Whores
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There Seems To Be An Outstanding Loan Here
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I Thought You Were Dating Me
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