About this Collection

Maury Ballstein

Maury Ballstein is a character from the 2001 comedy film 'Zoolander' about male models and a plot to assassinate the Prime Minister of Malaysia, directed by and starring Ben Stiller.

God? What the shit are you talking about?

God? What the shit are you talking about?

00:20

Derek has another one of his pondering moments where he's trying to find hims...

Take a crap, wrap it in tin foil, put a couple fishhooks and sell it as earrings

Take a crap, wrap it in tin foil, put a couple fishhooks and sell it as earrings

00:09

Maury does his best to persuade Derek to do Mugatu's new campaign Derelicte.

With a push-up bra you could actually have a nice rack of lamb going on up there

With a push-up bra you could actually have a nice rack of lamb going on up there

00:05

Matilda asks Maury his opinion on Mugatu's exploitation of sweatshop workers ...

God? God? What the Shit Are You Talking About?

God? God? What the Shit Are You Talking About?

00:05

Derek is upset after losing male model of the year to Hansel and is looking f...

I Need You to Bring That Zip Disk in the Den Down to the Fashion Show

I Need You to Bring That Zip Disk in the Den Down to the Fashion Show

00:23

Maury calls his wife to bring his back up files to the fashion show and she g...

Look Out! Tushy Squeeze!

Look Out! Tushy Squeeze!

00:02

Maury squeezes the ass of a model that walks past him.

Ba bada ba!

Ba bada ba!

00:04

Maury bops out a tune before he gives Derek some news that Mugatu wants Derek...

He can take a crap, wrap it in tin foil and sell it as earrings

He can take a crap, wrap it in tin foil and sell it as earrings

00:08

Maury tells Derek that Mugatu wants him for his new campaign but Derek remind...

What Do We Do When We Fall Off the Horse?

What Do We Do When We Fall Off the Horse?

00:17

Maury's example goes way over Derek's head as he tries to persuade him to ret...

He's talking about going off to ponder and tutoring underprivileged retards or some shit

He's talking about going off to ponder and tutoring underprivileged retards or some shit

00:07

Maury calls Mugatu to tell him that he needs to find some other dumb model to...

Screw him, hold out for more

Screw him, hold out for more

00:14

Maury teaches the kids at Derek's new school a bit about business.

Yeah, I Capisce. Now if I Could Only Ca-Piss

Yeah, I Capisce. Now if I Could Only Ca-Piss

00:17

Maury still on the phone with Mugatu, comments on his urination issues.

That's What I'm Talking About!

That's What I'm Talking About!

00:02

Maury gives the kids a lesson in business at Derek's new school and praises t...

For Christ's Sake It's a Casserole Sheila! It'll Stay!

For Christ's Sake It's a Casserole Sheila! It'll Stay!

00:04

Maury's wife gives him a hard time about not being home for dinner when he ca...

Maury Ballstein, Balls Models

Maury Ballstein, Balls Models

00:02

Maury introduces himself to the interviewer who is interviewing Derek.

Aye It Stings Me Like a Fissure in My Ass

Aye It Stings Me Like a Fissure in My Ass

00:03

Maury comes to the realization that Derek is a perfect candidate for Mugatu's...

I gotta get inside. I'm shvitzing like a shmedrik with all these lights

I gotta get inside. I'm shvitzing like a shmedrik with all these lights

00:03

Maury cuts his interview short because the spot lights are making him hot on ...

I got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories

I got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories

00:04

Maury tells Mugatu he's selling him out on all the crimes he's committed in t...