Hark
Sign In
Upload
Home
Movie Quotes
TV Quotes
Election 2012
ALF
All Clips
Totals
1412 Clips
Share
This Is the Way It Began That Extraordinary Night
Play
We-- We Have a Visitor
Play
My Gosh, It's Hairy!
Play
A Real Alien
Play
Brian's Right. It's an ALF
Play
Can Alf Stay in My Room?
Play
E.T. Got To Stay
Play
This Is On Our Coffee Table
Play
Get Rid Of It!
Play
Hello! Read My Lips
Play
It's Heavy, It's Hairy and It Talks
Play
Now How About Fixing My Spaceship
Play
There's No Need For Name Calling
Play
Let's Have a Snack Now. We'll Get Friendly Later
Play
You Got A Cat?
Play
No Cat Eating. Not in This House
Play
A Dented One
Play
He's Quick! I'll Give Him That
Play
Just Screaming
Play
'Morning
Play
Interesting Concept
Play
You're Blind as a Bat
Play
You Calling Me A Liar?
Play
That Is Inconsiderate!
Play
There's No Need for You to Shave
Play
You're My Idol
Play
Count Me In
Play
Just Dont Use All The Hot Water
Play
Never Saw A Thing
Play
Sounds Like A Typo
Play
Cross Between A Kangaroo And An Aardvark
Play
Yeah, Right, and I'm Sean Penn
Play
You Talking to Me?
Play
I Turn the Key and It Goes
Play
Must Be A Licensed Driver
Play
No Wonder I Didn't Know It
Play
I'll Never See The Purple Side Of My Planet Again!
Play
I'll Still Be In The House
Play
Yo! Lucky, My Man
Play
Do You Get Sesame Street Where You Live?
Play
We're Parched
Play
Geez, What's With The Warden?
Play
You're About Out Of Coors
Play
You're About Out of Coors [short]
Play
Spend the Rest Of My Days Fending Off Gamma Rays
Play
The Kid Wants Me To Stay
Play
How You Doing Lucky
Play
Unless She's Just Joined The Army
Play
We Are Not Harboring Any Space Creatures
Play
I Love This Woman
Play
The Melmac Touch
Play
I'm Living With What They Call a Family
Play
For Someone Without Fur
Play
Only Her's Is Natural
Play
Yeah, and They've Got These Two Terrific Kids
Play
Sort of Breaks My Heart
Play
Then We Could Eat Their Cat!
Play
So, the Droid Says to The "Cranble"
Play
I Wear a Size 5, But Nothing With Feet In It!
Play
You Kill Me!
Play
Sorry, Alf. We'll Play Later
Play
You're Out Of Floss
Play
Not In That Drawer
Play
Make Sure He Doesn't
Play
Channel 9 Is Running Psycho
Play
I'll See If I Can Scrounge A Few Kernels From The Sofa
Play
To Sit With Brian
Play
Do I Think We Should Let an Alien Watch Psycho
Play
Just Leave the Keys to the Liquor Cabinet
Play
One Man's Bedroom Is Another Man's Prison
Play
I Didn't Break It
Play
Don't Toy With My Emotions, Willie
Play
I Want Mrs. Bates
Play
I Heard the Haunting Strains of The Movie
Play
I Learned One Thing About Eating Jigsaw Puzzles
Play
I Think There's Somebody Else In This House
Play
Maybe It Was In Heat
Play
The Dodgers Batted A Round
Play
What Are You, Narrating This?
Play
They Got A cushoned Toilet Seat
Play
My Only Thought Was to Get Back to My Room And RAke Myself
Play
A Light Snack Would Hold Me Over Until the Pizza Came
Play
Trevor, Something Is Going On In This House
Play
I'll Be Go to the Market, It's Back
Play
I Haven't Seen You This Bad Since The Eclipse
Play
I'll Tell You Where It's Going
Play
You Keep Calling
Play
And The Cat Is Going To Be Okay
Play
I'm In The Bedroom Wearing a Blue Dress
Play
I Should Have Locked Him In The Garage!
Play
What's The Number For 911
Play
I Was The Man of The House
Play
Can You Take Some Constructive Criticism?
Play
Ever Have A Talking Doll Rip Out Your Voice Box?
Play
I'd Prefer Scotch
Play
ALF, What Are You Doing in My Dress?
Play
Sure, Blame The Guy In The Dress
Play
There Was a Thief Here, Wasn't There?
Play
I'm Not Wearing Anything Underneath
Play
Hey, Could Somebody Unzip Me in Here?
Play
Sammy, Shalom
Play
I've Got the Solution to This Nuclear Bomb Thing
Play
Here It Comes, Brian. Better Get the Shovel
Play
It Keeps Him Out of the Kitchen
Play
Sorry, Larry, Just Some Static
Play
I'm Trying To Save Your Planet
Play
Just a Domestic Spat, Larry
Play
Her Family Doesn't Even Have An Alien
Play
Would They Like One?
Play
Looks Like Twice-Eaten Pork
Play
Hand Me The Pliers!
Play
Operators Are Standing By. I've Got Calls to Make
Play
I'm Glad To See You Haven't Wasted Your Life
Play
You Use My Toothbrush?
Play
We All Plugged Our Hair Driers In At The Same Time
Play
I'd Like To See What It Does When It Wakes Up
Play
Isn't That Illegal; Immoral?
Play
Oh, He's Indisposed
Play
Before Anybody Pushes Any Buttons
Play
Boy, Those HBO Guys Mean Business
Play
An alien took control of my radio
Play
You Taped My Dad's Arrest?
Play
He's An Alien
Play
He's My Willie; My Goombah.
Play
The Big Guy and I Are Like That
Play
Come on, Brian. Let's Spring Daddy
Play
Why Don't You and the Russky Ease Up A Little?
Play
Hope I Haven't Oversimplified the Problem
Play
Think I'd Get Us In Hot water?
Play
We call him ALF for short
Play
No Problem
Play
To Brian Alf Tanner
Play
My Show Is Coming On
Play
I Had Something To Do With the Plaque
Play
Hold That Thought. The Show Is On
Play
Larry Is Discussing The Middle East Crisis
Play
Happy Anniversary
Play
Lyrics Too Complicated?
Play
Problems, Shmoblems... Sit Down and Relax
Play
Lobster Pate?
Play
Playdoh. The Fluorescent Kind
Play
Eight Hours Of Dickens. Take A Pillow
Play
Yo, Lucky, You Busy?
Play
Hey, Jody, You Like Redheads?
Play
Jody... What's Up Babe?
Play
The Shot Is Up And It's Good!
Play
It Causes One To Barf Up One's Dinner
Play
It's Just This "Jody" Business
Play
Hold on, Jodester
Play
Hang Up! Now!
Play
Is Alf Getting Married?
Play
Don't Worry, Jodester, It's Just a Gravy Boat
Play
Nobody Walk Barefoot in the Kitchen
Play
I Like Mine With A Side Of Fries
Play
Oops. Love Has Made Me a Klutz
Play
Have You Looked In A Mirror Lately?
Play
I Lucked Out. Jody's BLind
Play
Yeah Mom, Becasue She's Blind
Play
Say The Word, Kate. She's Blind!
Play
Yeah Mom What Do You Have Against The Jodester?
Play
I Won't Let Jody Drive
Play
Cincinnati?
Play
From My Brief Marriage to Cathy Rigby
Play
Not if Cathy Rigby Keeps Her Mouth Shut
Play
I Can't Have Friends
Play
I'd Clean It Up, but I'm Too Depressed
Play
Alone Again, Naturally
Play
Oh, No, I've Killed My Only Friend
Play
I'm Talking To Socks
Play
The Old Frisbee
Play
I Feel Like Streeeky Mcintosh
Play
Am I Obnoxious?
Play
I'll Help You Take That Risk
Play
Where's the Styling Mousse?
Play
Nobody Walk Barefoot in the Bathroom
Play
Like A Real Hunk
Play
Okay, Coast Is Clear
Play
How Come She Has All These Rooms?
Play
A Rambo Doll
Play
It's Somebodies Hand!
Play
I'll Be Back at 9 O'clock, Sharp
Play
Nine Sharp. Not an Alien
Play
In Case You Were Wondering
Play
Shrimp Or What?
Play
Could Be a '79
Play
You'll Probably Be Covered With Hair
Play
Thanks, They Were Delicious!
Play
I'm short, I'm blind, you win
Play
Just Stick On Anything By The Chipmunks
Play
My Parents Are Going To Catch us!
Play
I Really Care About You
Play
Sometimes You Have to Take A Chance
Play
You Got Me a Rat. Nice Gesture
Play
They Taste Alike
Play
You Are A Bagel
Play
Hey! You Scared Me. You Ought To Wear A Bell.
Play
I'm Trying To Help Lucky Beat His Smoking Problem
Play
Refrain From Kidding Lucky
Play
It's Not Always True That They Land On Their Feet
Play
When Did You Expect Us Back, In April?
Play
This is not Behaving this is Mass destruction
Play
The Rest Is a Blur
Play
How Can One Alien Be So Irresponsible?
Play
Who Wants A Cookie?
Play
I Wasn't Irresponsible, I Was Hungry!
Play
I Draw The Line at Intestinal byproducts
Play
I've Been Blessed With Multiple Stomachs
Play
Forget Merv. We're Not Talking About Merv
Play
I Can't Find Lucky
Play
I Wonder Where Lucky Is
Play
He likes rolling around in dirty laundry
Play
I Was Chasing Him With A Fork
Play
It Means Hypnotizing the Cat Into Thinking He's a Bagel
Play
I Know My Rights. I Watch Peoples's Court
Play
Willie I Know The Rules
Play
Maybe He Got Sucked Into a Parallel Dimension
Play
Smell My Breath!
Play
I'm Not Saying Anything Until I Talk To My Attorney
Play
It's A Fur Ball
Play
I Haven't Eaten a Cat Since I Left Melmac
Play
Come on, Guys, It's Me You're Talking To!
Play
Lucky Was My Best Friend!
Play
Not When the Accused Coughs Up the Victim!
Play
Maybe You Ate him By Accident
Play
Call Me When You finish Building The Gallows
Play
The Only Thing Murdered Today Was Justice
Play
Love Affairs With Beautiful Women
Play
We Better Eat Fast Before Alf Gets to It
Play
How 'Bout If I Pour Some Nice Healthy Milk On Them?
Play
Probably too ashamed to come to breakfast
Play
I Dreamed Alf Came Into My Room and Tried to Eat Me
Play
Where Do You Think Hamburgers Come From?
Play
It Means Breakfast Is Over
Play
And His Manhood
Play
And He Doesn't Know About Not Crossing on the Green
Play
We Should Have Watched More of The Fugitive
Play
So, Uh, What Are You Guys in For?
Play
Does Neutered Mean What I Think It does?
Play
Anybody Have a Coat Hanger?
Play
Oh My Gosh, He's Got a Horse!
Play
What Are You Doing Without Your Jockey?
Play
Gee, This Whole Planet's Up Tight
Play
I'm Going to Let You Break Out of Here Tonight
Play
All You Have To Do Is Gnaw Through This Wire Mesh
Play
Gas It. No One Will Want It.
Play
Well, Don't We Feel Foolish
Play
Now We Have 2 Cats
Play
Bacon, Lucky, and Tomato
Play
There You Go, Luckheimer
Play
Right Now I'm in the Catbird Seat
Play
Freeze Out The Alien
Play
I Just Can't Buy Shemp As A Surgeon
Play
Could We Put an End to the Stooge Talk?
Play
No Chance Of Your Getting a Better Job, I Suppose
Play
Who Made This Call to Munich
Play
I'm Going To Get Some Cookies
Play
You All Think I'm A Parasite
Play
What About A Sponger
Play
Not Wasting Money
Play
I Just Checked Into the Parasite Hotel Song
Play
Maybe I'm Just Being Overly Sensitive
Play
No Need to Lay It Out, Kateski
Play
It's "Nose to the Grindstone Time" for This Parasite
Play
I Owned and Operated My Own Phlegm Dealership
Play
The Phlegm Turbo Was a Classic
Play
Fine for the Beaver, but Not Exactly Tycoon Territory
Play
I've Got to Find a Way to Earn Money Now
Play
I'm A Terry Faith Girl
Play
They Welcome Ignorance
Play
Have You Ever Had a Terry Faith Facial?
Play
Evening Lobster
Play
It's Too Quiet
Play
Aren't We a Curious George Tonight?
Play
Those Hunting Sachets Are Going To Be Very Hot
Play
I'm Absolutely Silly
Play
Okay. I've Gotta Run, Hon
Play
What Are Hunting Sachets
Play
I'm in the Rouge-Slinging Game
Play
It's a Glittering, Fast-Paced Career
Play
Operation Makeup
Play
I Finally Feel Like A Productive Member Of Society
Play
Let Her Lasting Loveliness Bloom
Play
Our Sub-Reflective Chin Buffing Paste Is A Must
Play
Fifty dollars, or twenty
Play
You Have a Real Flare for the Business End, Too
Play
It's How Much You Buy!
Play
Well, Exactly How Much Did You Buy?
Play
How Could You Purchase $4,000 Worth of Makeup?
Play
You Have Abused the Trust of This Family
Play
My Career Really Threatens You
Play
Life's Funny
Play
Relax. They'll Be Wearing Name Tags
Play
I Think We Sold Something
Play
I'm Not Telling Until I Get A Drum Roll
Play
Pretty Well? We Made It All Back, Plus a Small Profit
Play
Oh, Boy! Can We Get an Air Hockey Table?
Play
To Pay For That Phone Call To Munich
Play
Lynn, Tell Them What They've Won
Play
To a Super Dad, Husband and Earthling
Play
I'm Very Touched
Play
Still Waters Run Deep There, William
Play
I Think I Know My Life Better Than You Do
Play
And An Alien
Play
A Race Of Cucumber People on Mars
Play
Something I Found Behind The Chemical Toilet
Play
You Dated Joe Namath?
Play
Mom, You Really Went Out With Some Hunks
Play
Wow, Kate. You Little Overachiever, You
Play
I May Want Sea Bass
Play
How Do You Skydive Just a Little Bit?
Play
Now, How About Some of That Wet Cake?
Play
Have Couple Of Potatoes and Wait For My Paper
Play
What a Life!
Play
Want a Cold Spud?
Play
I Ate the Rest of the Cake. I Should Tell You That Now
Play
Snack To Snack
Play
We Take Time to Stop And Smell The Potatoes
Play
Imagine Mach 8 and Double It
Play
Your Life is Incredibly Predictable and Safe
Play
Kate, Do You Think of Me As Predictable And Safe
Play
I've Decided To Go Skydiving
Play
You're The Man of the Century?
Play
There's Nothing to This Skydiving Stuff
Play
I Think Kate's Been Coming On To Me Lately [full]
Play
I Think Kate's Been Coming on to Me Lately
Play
You Sent My Wife Flowers?
Play
Jumping Out of an Airplane at 5,000 Feet
Play
I Didn't Jump Because I was Afraid To Jump
Play
Pumped As Tire
Play
Would It Be All Right If I Paid You Later?
Play
What the Hell!
Play
Lets Hear It For The Tan Man
Play
You Said He'd End Up a Red Smear on the Landscape
Play
What's Next for the Conquering Hero?
Play
Don't Forget. We're Going to Talk About My Birthday
Play
How Did You Blow Out 229 Candles?
Play
Have You Decided What You Want on Your Cake, Brian?
Play
Hey, What About My Favorite Character on the Cake?
Play
Well Don't Take The Sheep
Play
I'm Really Depressed About Brian's Birthday
Play
I'll Never Have Another Birthday With My Friends
Play
That Last One Was A Real Bummer
Play
I Was Brushed, and Curried, and Ready For Love
Play
Orbit Guards, Man Your Battle Stations
Play
Sayonara, Melmac, and Sayonara, Rhonda
Play
I Said, Goodnight
Play
All Right, Tell Me About You and the Martian
Play
She Was Someone I Knew Before I Met Your Mother
Play
My Planet Blew Up And Some Girl You Knew Moved To Ohio
Play
It Was Something By The Beach Boys
Play
I Want To Go Home
Play
425 Degrees, ALF
Play
It's Not Going To Come To You!
Play
I'll Punch Your Heart Out
Play
If You Ever Talk To Me Like That I'll Punch Your Heart Out
Play
We Thought if We Could Contact Another Melmacian
Play
Maybe You Could Massage My Feet While It Cools
Play
I'm Too Weak To Blow
Play
I Can Hardly Blink
Play
How's It Going in Here?
Play
By, Then I'll Be Completely Bald
Play
The Transvestites are Back on Donahue
Play
Right. Mi Casa, Su Casa
Play
Forget the Transvestites. See You Tomorrow!
Play
It's the Worst Day of My Life
Play
Brian, We Know How Much Alf Means to You
Play
Am I Interrupting Something?
Play
This Isn't Going Well
Play
I'd Never Leave You, Alf
Play
Any Chance of Taking Lucky With Me
Play
Brian, This Is Just Something I Have to Do
Play
I Know Skip Would Have Liked You
Play
It's An ALF Cake
Play
Well, It Was A Mix
Play
Bye, Alf
Play
Thank You My Friend
Play
So Long, Willie
Play
If You Have To Use The Bathroom
Play
Come on Brian, Give Us a Hug
Play
Happy Birthday, Kid
Play
Well, I'm in the Wind
Play
It's So Strange to Have Food Here, and Not Have Alf
Play
He's Not Even Gone and I Miss Him Already
Play
Remember the Time He Set The Shower On Fire
Play
I Thought It Was Funny When He Buried the Couch
Play
You Remember the Time He Was Changing The Tire
Play
He Did Keep Things Interesting
Play
Que Pasa?
Play
Here You Go, Kid. Melmacian Dice
Play
You Missed Your Ride
Play
He's Staying! Alf's Staying!
Play
She'll only Want Me More After A Couple Of Centuries
Play
I'd Miss You More
Play
Let's Not Get Maudlin
Play
Welcome Home, Alfmeister
Play
I Told Him No Suitcase, No Suitcase
Play
I'm Really Touched
Play
You Had Mixed Feelings About Me?
Play
I Don't Feel Thanked For Saving You From That Shower Fire
Play
Right Now, I'm Bushed
Play
ALF Cake Would Be Great
Play
I'm Sorry We Only Had One Pot Roast
Play
Guess What? The Most Exciting Thing Just Happened
Play
New Boyfriend, Huh?
Play
He Has Darker Hair and Less Of It
Play
I Thought We Had a Date
Play
You and Lynn Have a Date?
Play
You Would've Been a lot of Fun During the Renaissance
Play
Well, I Guess It's Just Me and My Swatches
Play
Wallpapering the Screens
Play
It's A Matter of Taste
Play
I Got the Message. I Was Wrong. Kill Me
Play
Are You Still Writing Letters To Connie Chung?
Play
What?
Play
See? You're Still In Charge
Play
Ancient History Wasn't My Best Subject
Play
Well, I Wrote a Poem for Someone
Play
Name Three
Play
Now, Let's Wail
Play
May I Suggest the Key of E Flat?
Play
Great. We Need More Euphoniousness
Play
Just Another Pretty Face
Play
Oh Yeah. It's De-Lovely
Play
I'll Call You if I Ever Audition For Hee-Haw
Play
Now we're cooking
Play
Alf Has a Crush on Me
Play
Go for It, Willie!
Play
She's Setting a Bad Example for all the Other Daughters
Play
Too Much Caffeine?
Play
Hey, Zit Face, Go Home and Make a Clearasil Sandwich!
Play
How About It, Sequoia-Neck?
Play
The Next Thing You Know, They're Picking Out Drapes
Play
Close Your Robe, Willie
Play
I've Decided It's For Connie Chung
Play
How About Incredible?
Play
So, Uh, Are We Going Out Friday Night, or What?
Play
Alf, You're the One That's Out of This World
Play
Merry Christmas!
Play
I've Hidden All the Eggs
Play
Christmas Is When We Carve The Pumpkin
Play
Sloppy Joes And Fiberglass
Play
You Know, the Fat Guy That Dresses in Velvet
Play
I Don't Want To Spoil The Surprise
Play
You Cut Our Tree Into Firewood!
Play
Matt, Mark, Luke, and John
Play
Then Santa Slides in on a Rotary Shaver
Play
Let's Start With a Simple Question
Play
Mom, I Found Another Egg
Play
What Do We Do, Just Add Water?
Play
Why Are You Holding Eggs?
Play
I'm Talking To Carnac
Play
We're Stuck With This Thing For a Quarter of a Century?
Play
I'm Not Waiting For An Invitation
Play
This Miserable Excuse For a Tree
Play
I Knew You'd Bring That Up
Play
Well, You'd Have To Know Carol
Play
On Melmac, Caroling Was Definitely Not for Children
Play
Pretend I'm Not Here, Just Like I'm Doing With That Tree
Play
You Get the Chain Saw and Fill It With Gas
Play
Have You Been There In Person Or Just In Your Mind
Play
I Think We Just Passed the Donner Party
Play
If I'm Not Home Before Santa Gets There, I'll Sue You
Play
We'll Have Christmas in March
Play
Would You Like Some Eggnog, Mr. Ochmonek?
Play
I Thought It Was a Coat Rack
Play
A Whisker for Your Thoughts
Play
I'd Love To be Superman
Play
That Sounds Like It's Going to Be Sentimental
Play
There Always Was That Tree
Play
I'm Just Trying To Keep From Crying
Play
He Was Talkin Too Much and Somebody Hit Him
Play
I Can't Wait for Dad to Get Here With the Tree..
Play
It's Not Like We've Got An Alien Living With Us
Play
We'll Just Sit Here and Listen To The Mud
Play
I See You Got a Leaner There
Play
It's A Fake
Play
You Bought a Fake Tree?
Play
I'm Going to Have To Take it Into The Shop
Play
Your Tree Should Be Ready Around Easter but Call First
Play
There's a Forest Ranger Headed This Way
Play
We're Going To Get Fined
Play
I Finally Get To See Snow
Play
It's For Giving Eye Exams, Right?
Play
What a Great Christmas!
Play
It Cost Me $367, With The Fine and Towing
Play
A Few Tokens From The Old Alfer
Play
This Is America, Kate. Everybody Can Shop
Play
I Used A Catalog
Play
In the Words of the Immortal St. Frosty the Snowman
Play
If We Miss That Concert
Play
Talking About Gold, Like Its Valuable Or Something
Play
On Melmac, The Most Valuable Thing Is Foam
Play
There's Foam In Them Thar Hills
Play
Alf, I Got Some More Lint for You to Save
Play
I Didn't Order Any Toes
Play
So What's The Connection To Toes?
Play
Then Who's Bringing In The Toes?
Play
Well, I've Canceled My Concert Plans
Play
We Can't Afford To "Spring For A Car"
Play
A Stolen One
Play
I Use It To Do My Aerobics
Play
You Guys Would Go in Halves With Me on a Car?
Play
He Got Caught Substituting Hamburger For Collie
Play
I Think That's One of the Most Repugnant Things I Can Imagine
Play
Just To Get a Jalopy to Drive Around In?
Play
Well Then, You Better Get Crackin' Here
Play
I Want a Car More Than Anything
Play
Think Before You Answer
Play
You're Killing Her, Kate
Play
Is That Cocoa?
Play
Are There Marshmallows In It?
Play
Some Hot Coffee Would Be Nice!
Play
Alf Stole a Car!
Play
I've Got A Surprise For You
Play
This Tastes Like Fish
Play
I Won! I Won! Menthol Lights!
Play
It's True. Everybody Wants Red
Play
I Got it Through My Broker
Play
Alf, This Is the Most Wonderful Present
Play
Except for the Bidet. That Was Platinum
Play
Or Shall I Say Congratulazione
Play
And Check Out These Wheels!
Play
The Dashboard Is Burled Mahogany..
Play
Chrome From Rome
Play
Virgin Ox, Albino Virgin
Play
Cellular phone programmed for speed dialing
Play
Come on, Willie, Park Your Carcass on That Virgin Ox
Play
Why Don't We Just Needlepoint That Into A Sampler?
Play
Look, We Are Not Keeping a Car That Costs $60,000
Play
Your Daughter Drives a Better Car Than You Do?
Play
He's In Palm Springs 'Til Thursday
Play
I'll Let You Drive My Car Any Time You Want
Play
You Want to See How the Gucci Air Bag Works?
Play
We Cannot Have a Rational Conversation In The Presence of A Ferrari
Play
I Know What You're Thinking, I'm The Ogre
Play
Dad, You're Not Being Fair. The Car Was a Gift
Play
We Need A Car
Play
Things Are Appreciated More When They're Earned
Play
I'm Not Above Taking Tennis Lessons
Play
Unless She's A Professional Tennis Player
Play
This Is Insane. We're Actually Gonna Give Back a Free Ferrari!
Play
But Joel Is In Palm Spring
Play
Alf Laid Rubber!
Play
There's an Alien on the Road In a Red Ferrari
Play
This Thing Flies Like The Wind
Play
Kate, That Car Goes 180 Mph!
Play
Before I Knew It I Was On the Freeway
Play
Yeah? You're Another One
Play
Easy For You To Say You're Not A Limited Partner
Play
Come on, Lady. This Ain't a Parade!
Play
I Can't Im In The Fast Lane
Play
I'm Driving Too Fast
Play
Hey! Ever Hear of a Turn Signal?
Play
It's Been A Really Quiet Night
Play
They're Having a Bee Keeper's Convention
Play
You've Just Crashed Into Our Garage!
Play
I Think I Might Need Glasses
Play
I Think You Might Need a Lawyer!
Play
Now, Willie, Calm Down
Play
This Is Not One Of Them
Play
Look at What You've Done
Play
All Right, Calm Down
Play
Joel Is In The Springs
Play
Does Your Insurance Cover Front Porches?
Play
I'll Be Right Back. Don't Leave Town
Play
What Have You Done?
Play
The Rest Is A Blur
Play
I Think I'll Turn In Early Tonight
Play
I'm Getting the Old Crate in Shape, William
Play
What Is A Fault Line, Anyway?
Play
Because It's Funny, Man
Play
Just Kidding, See?
Play
I Used To Watch Route 66
Play
George Maharis Never Got Another Series
Play
The Car Is Purring Like a Kitten. Which Reminds Me, I'm Hungry
Play
Grandma?
Play
Willie, Grab the Pasta Maker
Play
Who's at the Door?
Play
Are You Sure?
Play
Anyway, I Am Off to Hawaii
Play
You Look Good Too Mom
Play
Oh, Honey, That Hair Is Much Too Short for That Face
Play
I brought gifts
Play
It's Beautiful and Thick
Play
It's Very Important for Children to Wear Warm Clothing
Play
These Brutal Southern California Winters
Play
I Hope We're Not Going to Fight
Play
No, Grandma. Stay With Us
Play
Is Grandma's Staying Here Going To Affect Me
Play
Yo, I Have a Question
Play
No Beets!
Play
Many Pardons for the Delay, Lord Shumway
Play
He Must Be Hungry. He Didn't Even Say Grace
Play
Come On. Let the Punishment Fit the Crime
Play
Alf, You Have to Stay in the Garage for a Few Days
Play
Oh, Right, Let The Mutant Sleep in The Garage
Play
So, I'm Somewhere Between a Mutant and Your Son
Play
I'm A Game Show Host
Play
We Don't Think of You as a Mutant
Play
Good. I'll Tape It To My Eyes
Play
The Charade Continues
Play
I'm A People Alien
Play
She Walked Into The House And Took Over
Play
I Don't Know I'm Barely Listening
Play
Oh, Good Save
Play
What Does She Have, Squatters Rights?
Play
This Is My Home. This Is Where The Bathroom Is
Play
Boy, Somebody Took a Grumpy Pill
Play
Yeah, I Hope You Fall Into a Live Volcano, Estelle
Play
Good News?
Play
And I'm Not Living in the Garage Any Longer
Play
Earthquake, Earthquake!
Play
More Arm Motion!
Play
Did You ever See The Nutty Professor
Play
Okay. Don't Get Your Nightie in a Knot
Play
Hey, Go for It, Willie!
Play
Now I Live in A Laundry Basket
Play
Cup of Java?
Play
Is She Adopted Or Something?
Play
Take My Word for It. I'm A Space Being
Play
Oh, Yeah, Another Thing Stop Poking Me!
Play
We'll Talk Again When You're A Little Less Touchy-Feely
Play
Good Morning, Grandma!
Play
I Guess You Two Have Met?
Play
There Was A Spider In There
Play
Kate, I Had Such High Hopes For You
Play
I Sense Some Negative Vibes Here
Play
I Dont Even Know What Kibble Is, But I Resent That
Play
The Head of The Household Should Sit At the Head Of The Table
Play
We're Having Pancakes, Okay?
Play
This Little Mop-From-the-Moon Is Running Your House
Play
Ther Are No Mops From The Moon
Play
I meant That As An Insult
Play
If I Had a Straw and a Napkin, I Would Fill You So Full Of Spitballs
Play
No Wonder You Don't Sit At the Head of the Table
Play
I Make Things Happen. I'm A Catalyst
Play
Why Does She Get To Chew On Lucky?
Play
Treat Your Daughter Like An Adult
Play
Just Mellow Out, Granny
Play
Until Then, Willie Could Use it As A Car cover
Play
A Muzzle
Play
Thanks for Offering, but the Job's Already Done
Play
I Emphasize The Word Travel
Play
You Know, There's a Nice Motel Down the Street
Play
I'm Going To Have To Stay Here A Little While Longer
Play
Right Now, Youre Rear End
Play
That's Not a Soap Opera, That's a Sleeping Pill
Play
This Show Needs a Plot Transplant
Play
Boring!
Play
Well, I'm Glad We Narrowed It Down
Play
The Orange Bath Mat Here Won't Let Me Watch
Play
Listen Here, You Bronx Giraffe!
Play
If You're Not Stuffing Your Snout, You're Watching t.V
Play
Kate, the Woman Doesn't Respond to Subtle Hints
Play
Guest? Isn't There a Statute of Limitations on That Word?
Play
Dust Off The Cobwebs First
Play
What Is a Woman Estelle's Age Doing on a Skateboard?
Play
Sit Still, Kate! The Cheese Can Wait
Play
Come on, People. I've Got a Deadline
Play
Would You Mind If I Taped This?
Play
That's dangerously close to censorship
Play
How Would You Like to Become a Sweater?
Play
It's A Much Better Script Now
Play
On Melmac, We Use It To Relieve Writers Block
Play
It's a Typo!
Play
I've Got The Woman Talking To Chairs
Play
Are You Dictating Your Autobiography?
Play
You've Got To Write Us Out
Play
This Script Is Do Full Of Love You'll Throw Up
Play
I Had Nothing About Toast
Play
Once Again You've Brought Harmony To This Household
Play
Willie Sometimes Less Is More
Play
First, You Open the Champagne. Then You Hug
Play
Make It Quick, Kate
Play
The Check Came!
Play
The Cat Won't Fit In The Toaster
Play
I'll Make a Peanut Butter Sandwich. Where's The Blender?
Play
Don't Get Hair In The Peanut Butter Jar
Play
Did You Say I Should Get Hair in the Peanut Butter
Play
Willie, There's Hair in Our Peanut Butter
Play
Grease Fire!
Play
Never Mind the Curtains, Put Me Out!
Play
Thank You For Sparing Our Kitchen
Play
Amen, to That!
Play
How Come I Didn't Get Any Hair?
Play
There's Hair in This Tuna Fish
Play
No Sale, Here. I Think It Bites Wind
Play
I Thought We Decided San Diego
Play
Why's That the End of the Hair Talk?
Play
Did You Lose Your Money?
Play
Been Playing the Ponies?
Play
We're Dropping the French?
Play
Or The National Inquirer
Play
I Didn't Think It Was A 3-Man Job
Play
I'm Garbage. I'm Canal Water
Play
You Haven't Ruined Anything
Play
Let's Give It a Shot!
Play
Put Me In A Kennel
Play
So The Kennel Idea Is Dead?
Play
It's All This Singing About Beer
Play
Lynn, Want to Spit Out the Window With Me?
Play
I Guess i'll Just Moon Some State Troopers
Play
Boy, You Call This a Vacation!
Play
Hey Chief, Let Me Take Over The Controls A While
Play
Is It Just Me, or Are the Walls Closing In?
Play
You've Been Saying That Since We Docked
Play
ALF Ate All The Vowels
Play
When I'm Bored I Eat Vowels
Play
You Guys Are a Bunch of Negative Nellies
Play
It's Your Call. You Dragged Us Here!
Play
May I Suggest San Diego?
Play
What Lemon, What Are You Talking About?
Play
You've Been Reading My Recipe Book
Play
That's Easy For You To Say, You're Not 98% Hair
Play
I'm Going To Sit Here And Complain
Play
Welcome Back
Play
Not Everyone Enjoys Spending Their Vacation in a Rain Forest
Play
Call The Newspapers, Democracy Is Dead!
Play
Medium-Rare. Hold The Lightning!
Play
How Would You Like to Be 50% Hair?
Play
You're a Different Person on Vacation
Play
You Need Some Help Bobbing for Firewood?
Play
Right Let The Alien Starve
Play
Sorry Brian, I Have My Pride
Play
I'm Out of Here. I'm History! I'm Going to Die
Play
Sending Him Out To Die?
Play
I'm Looking Through Your Cabinets
Play
Yikes!
Play
Oh, Oreos. My Kind Of People
Play
May I Suggest A Murder-Suicide
Play
I'm A Magical Creature Of the Forests
Play
I Think He's From the City
Play
We'd Make Better Time, If You'd Let Go Of My Leg
Play
I've Been Through A Traumatic Experience
Play
The Cabin That Dripped Blood
Play
I Got More Of a Response From Kissing The Floor!
Play
There's the Motor Home Going Up In Flames
Play
Here I Am Being Chained to a Tree
Play
You've Never Seen The Inside Of Her Handbag
Play
No Heavier Than Other Boxes I watched You Carry
Play
Not with Chocolate on my Tongue
Play
I Found A Whole Box in The Back Of Your Closet
Play
Whining Is Not Going To Bring It Back
Play
Right. I Only Licked Those
Play
Kate, Am I Mistaken, Or Is That A Cat Stretcher?
Play
Or What?
Play
Why Are You Sending a Ham to Sally Field?
Play
Anyone Can Send Shrimp
Play
That Can Be Arranged. Willie, Get the Staple Gun
Play
Send That Thing to Its Room
Play
High Fescue
Play
My Name Is Whizzer Deaver
Play
Do You Mind If I move In With Her
Play
Does Bob Hope Still Have Teeth?
Play
He Was Fixing My Garbage Disposal
Play
A Man His Age Shouldn't Be Eating Pork
Play
Hey, I Can Dig It. A Man's Ax Is Sacred
Play
Whizzer Deaver and the Whizztones
Play
Club Juniper
Play
I Was No Steve Allen
Play
And Then We're Going to Butcher the Chicken!
Play
We Have to Go to a Hockey Game Sometime
Play
Hitting Each other With Sticks
Play
A Pickle, You?
Play
Your Ham Came Back, Insufficient Postage
Play
Fish And Ham
Play
You're Saving Yourself For A Corpse
Play
I Thin We Would've Remembered That
Play
Sparky's Favorite Food Was French Toast With Gravy Right?
Play
All Right! We'll Chat With The Dead!
Play
Dorothy, They May Be Dead but They're Not Blind
Play
There Are No Possessions in the Realm of the Dead
Play
What Is This, National Seance Day?
Play
Nobody Flush the Toilet
Play
Obviously, You Know What You Are Doing
Play
Small Price To Pay For Contacting The Dead
Play
Incidentally, I'll Be the Only One Asking Questions
Play
All the Way Willie
Play
I'm Going Into a Trance Now
Play
You Don't Have to Make Rude Noises
Play
Can We Let The Deceased Get a Word In
Play
Tell Dodo What You Told Me The Other Day
Play
No Questions Please I'm Still in a Trance
Play
You're Going to Be in a Coma
Play
Easy. I Went Through Your Things
Play
Just Let Me Tell You Something, Buster
Play
It's Like Being Sent Ham Class
Play
Lucky for You, I Haven't Unpacked the Knives Yet
Play
That Was Sort of A Bonus
Play
It's Not Easy to Lose Something You Love
Play
Throw Me a Magazine
Play
I Just Don't Know Where to Start
Play
I Was Thinking Of A Fork
Play
We'll Make It All Back With Our Stock Market Picks
Play
Nice Underwear Kate
Play
In The Shower
Play
I Just Pulled the Curtain Open
Play
I Insist That You Respect My Wife's Privacy
Play
You Do That Again, You're a Seat Cover!
Play
Did You Used To Have A Mustache?
Play
Didn't You Have A Mustache, Too?
Play
You Better Bot Be Finished
Play
I Go Goofy
Play
Anything To Get My Hands On A Cat
Play
The Cage With The Reinforced Sides
Play
Not To Let Me Out Under Any Circumstances
Play
I Have to Use the Little Alien's Room
Play
You Have a Lunatic on Your Hands Here
Play
Didn't I Say Not To Open This Door
Play
There's A Big Rat In Here
Play
Alf, Why Are You Locking Me in This Cage?
Play
Here, Kitty, Kitty Kitty
Play
I Was Hoping I Could Get Lucky
Play
Then You'll Be Wearing My Shoes Again
Play
How Long Do You Preheat These For A Cat
Play
Is It A Toaster Or Is It An Oven ?
Play
Hey, Where Are You Going With My Toaster Oven?
Play
Raquel, That Sounds Like Your Riding Mower!
Play
Then They Won't Be Hard To Spot
Play
There's Still One More Stage. Quoting People
Play
Well, if I May Quote Porky Pig
Play
Do I Smell Bacon?
Play
At Least I Don't Feel Bloated
Play
I Do Remember Storing Something In The Garage
Play
The Basement's Flooded
Play
I'm Working At It
Play
Of Course, Where's My Mind
Play
But I Didn't Show You the Fake Vomit
Play
Don't Even Think About It
Play
You Should Answer the Door More Quickly
Play
You're 229 Years Old, And That's What You Think Is Funny?
Play
Drooling On The Pillow
Play
I Go Into Your Bedroom At Night and Watch You And Kate
Play
You Can Really See The Definition In My Thigh Muscles
Play
I Jog at Night and I Wear a Dark Headband
Play
When Did He Put Fish In The Dryer
Play
I Have a Creature From Outer Space Living With Me
Play
Next Minute He's Putting Fake Vomit On My Pillow
Play
This Isn't A Blind Date
Play
I'm In The Middle Of Drying Fish
Play
I Want To Rent A Tux
Play
This Guy's From the Alien Task Force! You People Are Turning Me In!
Play
You'll Have to Chew With Your Mouth Closed
Play
I Used to Watch the Old "Bob Newhart Show"
Play
Come on, Larry, Chow Down
Play
I Have a Healthy Appetite
Play
I Take it He Is The Alien
Play
Excuse Me, but, Can Someone Please Pass Me..
Play
ALF Can Be Very Complimentary
Play
Yeah, Make Milk Come Through Your Nose
Play
I Know, Lets Conjugate Verbs
Play
Another Fly In The Ice Cube
Play
Larry's Coming Over Here to Observe And Make Suggestions About ALF
Play
People Don't Just Make Comments
Play
We Wouldn't Want To Miss That
Play
You Already Ate Last Month
Play
How Ya Doin', Lucky?
Play
Sorry Household Rule #856
Play
I Don't Believe in Anarchy, It's Must To Spontaneous
Play
Well, I Was Ahead On Points
Play
ALF Should Move out
Play
Do You Know What Rents Are?
Play
You Do Care What Happens To ALF
Play
ALF Doesn't Care a Heck of a lot About Me
Play
If Fake Vomit's Not Your Cup Of Tea, I'll Loose It
Play
Hey, See What a Little Communication Can Do?
Play
We Should Toast This Occasion
Play
Communication
Play
I'll be In The Whirling Hot Tub
Play
Any Mail for Me?
Play
I Don't Want You Joining Any More Record Clubs
Play
I Ordered Sunrise. They Sent Me Sunset
Play
I Like The Magazine
Play
Go Take Your Bath
Play
I'm Already Fully Covered Through the Auto Club
Play
I Just Know He'll Get Hair in the Drain
Play
He Said Something About a Whirling Hot Tub
Play
I'm Wayne Schlegel, Michigan Life & Casualty
Play
I Think He's Trying to Sell Us Insurance
Play
I'm Talking About Your Future
Play
You 2 Are Sisters, Right?
Play
The Customer's Always Right
Play
I Can Think of Several Policies That Cover Rook Damage
Play
Just Don't Sign Anything
Play
You Got A Job?
Play
You People Spin Crazy Yarns
Play
Boy, You Have a Couple of Drinks
Play
You Obviously Haven't Met Brenda
Play
You're Not an Insurance Agent
Play
You're Minds Are Not On Insurance
Play
Isn't It Obvious That You're Not Wayne Schlegel?
Play
Nobody Likes to Think About the Inevitable
Play
Oh, My God! I'm Naked!
Play
Knock Wood
Play
Okay So You're Free Thinkers
Play
I Want My Keys and Pants, and I Want To Leave
Play
Now, You're Holding Me Prisoner
Play
You Can't Keep Me Here!
Play
You're Going To Go To Jail For This
Play
How Do You Think I Made The Million Dollar Club
Play
Did I Have An Affair With Your Wife Too?
Play
One Thing Just Lead To Another
Play
I Didn't Have An Affair With Your Wife
Play
If You'll Just Give Me My Pants
Play
Not Negotiating With Terrorists
Play
We'd Better Act Fast
Play
Should I Get the Rolling Pin?
Play
Hit Him On The Head With A Rolling Pin
Play
We're Stuck Having an Insurance Agent In Our Laundry Room
Play
At Least We Shouldn't
Play
He's Like a 3 Year Old
Play
Maybe We Can Get Wayne to Give Us Alf Insurance
Play
I Had To Go Into Sadowsky's Office Just to Change My Mind
Play
I Thought Mr. Schlegel Might Want a Snack
Play
By the Way, Did I Give You a Business Card?
Play
I Liked You Better as an Alien
Play
What Is This Junk?
Play
All Right, Maybe I Need A Shave
Play
Is This the Face of an Insurance Agent?
Play
Burt Sadowsky's Not In The Million Dollar Club
Play
Locking Me Naked In Your Bedroom and Feeding Me Sugar
Play
Mrs. Ochmonek Has My Rolling Pin
Play
I Memorized That Number When ALF Moved In
Play
What Are You Doing on the Phone?
Play
I've Called The Police!
Play
What Goes Around Comes Around
Play
Tell Them That They're Aliens and Take Their Clothes
Play
You Don't Know the Mistake You Just Made!
Play
Now the Cops Are Going to Lock You Up
Play
You're Not My Buddy!
Play
If You Hadn't Taken My Pants
Play
You're Familiar With Your Miranda Rights
Play
I'm Not the One Who's Going to Jail Here, Buddy
Play
It's For Wayne Schlegel
Play
I've Just Lost a Perfectly Good Marriage Thanks to You
Play
I'm Being Held Hostage Here
Play
I Thought We Didn't Have a Wayne Schlegel
Play
I'll Tell The Judge I Was Treated Very Well
Play
Don't Try To Strike An independent Deal
Play
I'm Against Rock Videos!
Play
Anything You Want To Tell Me Before They Haul You To Jail?
Play
I Just Can't Think Of My Wife's Name Right Now
Play
That's Alf's Laugh!
Play
What Side of The Family Does This Nose Come From
Play
You're Not a Blood Relative
Play
I'll Tell You My Favorite Droid Joke
Play
Why Are You So Hung Up on This Guy?
Play
I Heard It Was The Food Of The Future
Play
You're Brainwashing Me!
Play
Thats Crazy! But It Does Sound Tasty
Play
Insurance Agents Do Not Eat Cats
Play
Lucky! Grrrrrr
Play
Maybe I Do Maybe I Don't Like Cats
Play
I Smiled Because I Thought Someone Was Taking My Picture
Play
Oh, My Gosh, It's the Police!
Play
Fine. If You Need Me, I'll Be in the Whirling Hot Tub
Play
Hey, What Am I Doing in This Cheap, Polyester Suit?
Play
I Just Knew The Whole Thing Had To Be A Practical Joke
Play
That Number Goes Up When You Live With An Alien
Play
Is the Heat Gone?
Play
No I Was Hiding In The Dryer
Play
Add Manure To Your Grocery List
Play
I Mean, Why Do You Want Manure?
Play
Use Butter Like Everybody Else
Play
It's Never Too Late For Manure
Play
That Would Make A Nice Bumper Sticker
Play
Wool In the Winter
Play
I Also Like Eating The Bugs
Play
You Speak English?
Play
I Ordered the Manure by the Truck Load
Play
I Ordered The Manure By The Truck Load [full]
Play
We Should Have Used More Manure
Play
Great. Dust Bowl '87
Play
It's Corn!
Play
I Didn't Plant Zucchini
Play
Bob Barker?
Play
Fine I'll Use Quicksand
Play
What Am I, The desk Clerk
Play
Hey Kate. I'm The King of France
Play
Hotel Tanner
Play
I'm Taking A Mexican Boy To Catch His Bus
Play
There's a Boy Here Who's Got to Go Back to Mexico
Play
I Want To Hear The Joke About The Kid With No Family
Play
I'm Telling You, the 3-Point Shot Is Ruining This Game
Play
Only A Fool Bets On The Pros
Play
Hey, Kate, You Owe Me for the Celtics Game
Play
I Think A-L-F Can Sleep in the Garage
Play
I Look Like The Village Idiot
Play
Die, Scurvy Dog!
Play
Yo Pensé Que Eras Bob Barker
Play
Gwt out the Slip-N-Slide
Play
Isn't There Some Government Program
Play
Weeds. Mala Hierba
Play
No, I'm Amazed She Had A Boyfriend
Play
It's Hard to Fake Words Like "Carpet Factory"
Play
Luis' I've Spoken To Your Father
Play
Luis and I Have Become Very Close
Play
I Thought They Called You Mr. Science
Play
It's Safer Than The Mexican Food Tanner's Eating
Play
alf laugh
Play
← Prev
1
2
Next →
View All
Hark Social
What's Happening on Hark:
Loading Hark Activity feed...
Hark's Weekly Newsletter
Sign up for info about Hark's new features, upcoming movie releases, and new clips!
Email
Sign Up
Hark Social