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Quotes and Sound Clips
An Angel Broke My Hand in Six Places
Is She Smoking Up by the Propane Tanks?
Let Me Get My Tickle on First
I'm Not Doing the Monkey Dance for You
You're Mad Because I Didn't Kill Phil?
I Need to Get My Old Tailor Back
I Give You Bentopia
Don't You Always Wear the Same Suit?
Is He Dead?
This Nothing Is Gonna Jump Out This Window
We Got Nina Here to Watch You and She's Promised Not to Eat You
I Need to Get Into Hell
I Would Just Be Careful How Much Water You Drink During the Day
I Am Bringing Joy Into the Lives of All These Little Orphans
That Guy Came Back From the Dead to Kill You
I'm Really Really Sorry That I Hit You With a Mallet, Okay?
That Guy Came Back From the Dead to Kill You
He Told Me It Was Possible That I Was Partially Brain Damaged
Was He an Escaped Soul All Along?
No, Not at All. He Was a Complete Ass
There's No Better Feeling In The World
Why Are You Dressed Like a 70's Porn Star
Sock, Did You Bring Home a Stripper Clown?
I Can't Believe You Killed Morgan
You Can Do It Because You're Morgan
He Ate Everything In The House
I Live It Up and Then on My Deathbed
Did the Devil Give You Barry Manilow?
Are You Blackmailing Me?
The Devil Sent Me
What I'm Feeling Right Now Is No Schoolboy Crush
Well, I'm the Kind of Guy Who Likes to Move Fast
I Remembered You Were on a Cleanse
I Dug It Up Out of Her Trash
I Seduced You
I'm Planning to Seduce This Woman
I Need Afternoons Off for the Next Week
And on a Scale of Zero to 10
Now Am I to Assume You Are the Devil's Offspring?
He's Convinced That I'm a Pushover
Feel Sorry for the Devil
You Know What? Okay, Fine
I Was Just Messing Around With the Guys
It Was a Long Time Ago and I Thought
It's Absolutely Gay To Bang a Clone of Yourself
You Still Chasing After That Funeral Chick? Persistent
Oh, What the Hell, Man?!
I Don't Know What Mind-Games You're Playing
I'm Here to Kick Your Ass
The Loser However Will Be Cast Out
Really? You Care About Global Warming?
The Devil Brought Us Here, You Idiot
You're Gonna Go Blackberry?
Intercourse cured your asthma?
Call the Ender Off
I Don't Know What That Is
Billy Boyland, Born 1971, Died 1993
Honestly, Compared to Some Other Times When I Met the Parents
It's Just So Unfair That the Devil Is Always Ruining True Love
Lock and Load, Bitches
Sock, What Are You Doing?
Can You Smell It, Sammy?
I Need His Money
You Didn't Have to Come Back
She's Totally Dumping Him
This Is Like Every Relationship I've Ever Been In
Are You Breaking Up With Me?
Do You Have Any Idea How Impossible You've Made My Life?
Keeping Him Alive Is Way Worse Than Any Punishment We Can Give Him
You're Not Gonna Let Me Go
You Want Your Friends? They All Still Exist
We're Sitting Ducks
You Bit Your Tongue, Benjamin
She Was Like Vanilla Boys
It's Not a Normal Grenade
If You Work for the Devil, I Hope You've Got a Plan
Maybe That Thing Didn't Eat Nina Right Away
We Could Go Shawshank
It Seems Like None of This Even Bothers You Anymore
You're Getting Pretty Comfortable With All of This, Aren't You?
Why Are We Throwing a Wake for Les Nessman?
Hey, Sammy, What's Up?
Would You Like Me to Beat Him Up for You?
You're a Demon?
Because I'm a Demon
Maybe You Should Grow a Soul Patch
I Guess I'll Run It Up the Flagpole
Devil Owns My Soul
Did He Just Knock Himself Out?
I Hope You Throw the Bone Better Than You Throw the Fist
Now There's No Way I Can Turn You Into a Boxer
You're Not Gonna Start Crying on Me, Are You?
The Devil Sent Me
So Nina, Where Are You From?
You Are A Terrible Person
It Worked. They're Out Cold
Our Beer Mascot Is a Baby?
Sometimes in Order to Do Something Good You Have to Do Something Bad First
You're Trying to Kill Me
I Summon You, Satan
The Devil's Setting Me Up. He Wants Me to Die
How Long Are You Gonna Be Mad at Me?
Andi, Hey. We Got Our Jobs Back
It Just Gets Worse and Worse
What Aisle Are the Cots In? Aisle 10
He's probably having sex with your mom all the time
Want to Bring Her a Bag of Chips?
Wait. So Where Did We Land
To Honor the Passing of the Man
Turns Out the Devil Might Be My Dad
Was dad my real father?
We'll Keep the Police Out of This
Dad! Tony, Just Come On! Just Let Him Go!
He's Not My Father!
You Are the Son of Satan, Sam
There's Some Secret He's Not Telling Me
I Want to Know What's Going On
Now I Want the Truth
My Life Is at Risk Every Day
Where Are You Getting This From?
I Need to Know What You're Lying to Me About
It Means Our Session Is Over
This Is a Priority For Me, Okay
Ask About Cancun
It's Because She's Hot
Let Me Show You the Grip
Why Did God Appear to Moses As a Burning Bush
You Know That Mold Stain on the Wall?
The Last Time You Tried to Defeat the Devil
It Came Back Through Two Coats of Fresh Paint
You Invented the Lottery?
Why Are You Standing in a Circle?
I Think It Looks Like Steve
Do This for Me
You Won't Change My Mind
Yeah. Pick a Hand
I Love You Guys So Much Right Now
Mike's Probably Knee-Deep In Some Honeymoon by Now
She'll Be Fine
Okay, but, but Wouldn't That Be Doing Something Illegal
I Don't Think She'd Want Prayers
What Do We Do With a Dead Demon Body?
Gladys Is the Leak
I Just Stay Down Long Enough To Work On My Tan
You Know I'm Gonna Have to Catch You When I Get the Vessel?
You Are an Ass!
You Don't Look Mentally Defective
Never Go Back Out With That Douche Bag
I Mean, He Traded His Soul for Me
You Just Gave Up Eternity for a Workplace Crush
There's Any Way To Get Out Of The Deal With The Devil
I Made a Pass at My Stepmother!
You're Never Gonna Win Andi Back
Do You Love Me?
I'm a Good Boyfriend I'm Caring, I'm Sensitive
He's Got Some Weird Mind-Control Thing Over You
Son of a Bitch
Eight Minutes After Now
Probably Just a Mixup
It Costs Like 80 Bucks to Fill Up Your Tank
You Want Me to Betray My Friend?
Outside the Hospital When You Told Me That You Love Me
Andi, I Love You
Do You Love Her?
I'm a Bounty Hunter for Hell
Do We Have a Deal?
Maybe We Can Work Out Something
Explain to Me How You Chopped Some Guy's Head Off!
I Challenged Sam to An Eating Contest
Why Did You Betray Us
Me, Sam Oliver, Chopping a Dude's Head Off?
Well, You Keep Andi From Talking
For You, Milady
Yeah, but I Also Went to Yale Medical School
What This Semen Demon's Special Powers Are?
At a New Sperm Bank
We All Wanna Date This Girl
I Didn't Betray You!
You Won't Get Food Poisoning
It Would Destroy You!
Did You Mousse?
What Kind of Name Is Cubby? Who's Named Cubby?
We're Going on a Date
What Part Of No Don't You Understand?
Guinness and Lucky Charms for me
The Devil Dies Tonight
But May I Say You Look Good Enough to Eat
I Will Never Lie to You
I Feel Bad About Double-Crossing Him
Oh, His Pain Will Be Excruciating
Behold, Our Gift to You
Nobody on Earth Can Hear Us in Here, Sam
Losing You Is a Risk I'm Not Willing to Take
Say Good Night, Bitch
You Actually Love Somebody?
You Bring the Devil, I'll Bring the Pain
I Was Expecting Something More Aggressive
So You're All Just Gonna Be Nice
What Do You Want, Ted?
Welcome to the Revolution, Sam
I'm Not Going Up Against the Devil
How Can You Overthrow the Devil?
Let the Hammering
I've Always Been More of an Ass Man Myself
I Thought We Were Doing Something Tonight
Oh, Will You Stop With All the Lovey-Dovey Crap?
I'm Always Putting You Two in Danger!
She's, Like, Superman, Girl Version
You Take a Look in The Mirror Lately?
Nikki's Going After Andi
You Look, You Look Beautiful
A little bit too little, a little bit too late
We're Cat Eating Knuckle Draggers?
You Know, You Saved My Life
They're Small-Minded, Stubborn
Run All You Want, Baby
Didn't You Ever Blow Bubbles as a Little Kid?
New Lesbian Zombie Flick
Have You Guys Eaten Anybody?
It's Not Normal, You're A Reaper
Because We're Gay
We Gotta Find Somebody We Can Relate to
Are They Gone Yet?
We're Not Friends
Andi Told Me She Likes Me
Is Now a Bad Time?
I Like You
Dude, That's a Gay Bar
My Boxers Smell Like Lemongrass
Steve and Tony, Both Demons
You Guys Think It's Kinda Weird
Do You Have the Vessel?
Not Much of a Nature Guy, Are You?
In the Words of Gandalf the Great
You Picked Up an Extra Shift?
You Need Me
Benji! Oh, My God!
I'm Telling You Now
He's an Escaped Soul From Hell
You Should Hear the Way She Snores
We Both Can Admit We're Awful People
And You Didn't Use My ID To Get Into the Morgue?
He's the Devil, and if You Go Through With This
Even When the Kid's a People-Eater?
You're Setting That Guy Up So You Can Buy His Soul
There's Something About the Sea Air
I Need You to Punch Me in the Junk. Hard
Where's Its Head?
I Might Have Shot an Asian Cowboy
You Shot Your Mom With a Bb Gun?
So That's What $6 Million Looks Like, Huh?
Whining Like a Little Schoolgirl
It's the Mark of the Devil
Did You Burn Down Josie's Apartment?
Easy on the G-Word, Buddy
I Wouldn't Call 'Em Normal
Hell Is Like the Worst Run Business Ever
I Like to Bite The Heads Off of Live Chickens
Do You Think They're A Bit Overprotective?
Hey, Are You the Spawn of Satan?
Thought You Were Waterproofing The Basement Tonight
We Saved Your Families From A Giant Ash Monster
Caught Your Ass, Ash Man!
You Are Totally Not Listening to Me
You Don't Have a Conscience
Sock Embarrasses You More Than Me, Right?
You Know, My Uncle Hector Got Drunk at a Wedding
About $30,000 Worth of Carpeting
Who Cut Up and Sold Pieces of Her Body
You're Ashamed of Us?
You Know, Supreme Spirit of Evil
I'm Talking to the Devil, All Right?
Gonna Guess There Was a Lot of Bed-Wetting
Ten to One, Nobody Kept That Ugly Sweater
Damn It! I'm Calling This Number
You Don't Have to Be Embarrassed of Your Grandmother
Unholy Spirit, the Poison of God
I'm Officially a Dick
He Would Kill Us
He Sold Body Parts?
Yeah, Kind of Like Your Nature to Be an a-Hole
Son of a Bitch
He's Handsome, Isn't He?
What, So Now I'm Your Handyman?
Accepting Gifts From the Devil Is Suicide
Don't Wear It As a Friend
What the Hell Just Happened?
Mays Is Dead
There's a Three Now?Answer Me
Is That What You're Trying to Do?
All Right, You Can Come Out Now!
Are You Bleeding?
Let's go get arrested
Did You Just Call Me Stupid?
He's Gonna Think I Killed That Guy!
You Should Drink Beer. It'll Help You Think
More Than You'll Ever Know, Sweetheart
No Problem buddy
What's Up, Sam? What Happened to Your Hair?
So You're Going to Gladys' House?
See Any Birds in These Tattoos?
I'm Not Ted What a Dick!
What the Hell? Ohh!
Dog of the Month Goes to Sam
I Am Almost Certainly Going to Do Something Stupid
There's a demon buying paper towels
So That the Wicked Could Justify Their Actions
Tell Me About Your Childhood
I've Always Found Lust To Be Quite Satisfying
I Don't Believe There's No Such Thing as Love
Can We Slow It Down a Little?
Didn't Look Like the Kind of Guy to Make the First Move
You Made All This?
Oh, You Know, Not You, Sir
I So Want Your Life
All Women Scare the Hell Out of You
The Breathless Bride Groom Banged the Maid of Honor
Two Psychos in Love
She Was in the Market for Something
Yeah? Well, You Need to Own One First
It's Like Feeding a Raccoon
There's Something Really Wrong With You
You Guys Have Multiplied
Well, You Two Cry-Baby Bitches
I'm Thinking About Touching Myself
Are You Feeling My Ass?
Sam, I Invented Therapy, Okay?
Crap You Said About Humanity and Betrayal
I Got Plans With Andi
You Know, You Were the Only One of the Lot of Them
My Demons Are Back in Hell Torturing the Damned
So, what Should We Do?
I Just Can't Stand Being in a Fight
I Miss What We Had
Everybody Screws Up, I Will, You Will
We Party Hard in the Underworld
You Really Want Your Therapist to Come in Here
How's Therapy, Leon?
What About Leon?
I'm Really Glad You Didn't Get Eaten by the Dog Monster
Like a, Like a Man Hug?
If Sam Goes In, I'm Going In
How'd You Know About This Place?
You Wear Mandals
You Let Him Out Because You Thought He Was Funny
Stop With the Stupid Therapy Crap
It's Not About What You Think, Sam
See, the Therapy Is Working Wonders
Now, Listen, You Can't Just Keep Him
Took Him With Me to Trivia Night at the Bar
What, Are You Trying to Make Me Feel Better, Sam?
This Is Gonna Sound Weird, but Are You All Right?
Because My Day Didn't Suck Enough Yet
You Mean, Shooting President Mckinley?
No, I'm Not Letting You Out
So He Thinks the Toilet's Talking to Him
My Therapist Told Me to Make It
I'm Not Killing Anybody Anymore
Do I Want Your Snow Globe?
He Came Out, We Sucked His Ass Up
He Can't Do This! The Devil Can't Do That!
I'll Out Charm Him
That Trumps Prison Rape
I Just Don't Think You Have Anything the Devil Needs
You Mean, The Contract?
You're a Jokester! Dick
Just Don't Insult Me
I Put a Note on His Windshield
I Know The Devil
I Could Help You Out, Be Your Wingman
You're Not Gonna Chicken Out, Are You?
We Got to Go. He Sucks. Let's Go
Says the guy with the shirt full of bird
Can I See My Contract?
Because You're Such a Total Dickwad
I'll Cut You Where You Stand
I Was So Busy Checking Out Your Ass
Forget About the Contract
Sarcasm is the lowest form of social discourse
Ahh! God! Son of a Bitch!
You Put the Contract for My Soul
You're Not Feeding Me Pretzels And Nestling Me to Your Breast
I've Never Seen a Dead Body Up Close Before
Nobody's Hurting Winston
Cause He's a Real Peach Like That
God, I Thought You Guys Disappeared, Too
I Trust I've Made My Point
Ted Is a Real Douchebag
Sets a Bad Precedent
Well, Don't You Have Minions Down in Hell
I'm Not Google, Sam
Stare at My Boobs for as Long as I Wanted
I Can't Just Sit Back and Let Ted Walk All Over Me
What? You Got Beer? Where'd You Get Beer?
I Think That I Am Outraged Right Now
Well, I Myself Am a Drooler
No Guiltier Than Usual
I Just Ate This Really Weird Cupcake
Ah, the Paint Mixer Rodeo
Just Disappeared Out of Your Hand?
I Know You Can Hear Me
Andi Left for College Once, and I Never Said Anything
I'd Still Do That Chick
I Suck at Badminton
Yeah, I Think My Brain Just Broke a Little
You call what you put me through coddling?
That was totally a name for my junk
You Stole Keys to Her Office?
There's a Future Here In Toilets
You Stole Mail?
Something That Doesn't Suck
I See a Spark of the Old Me in You
I Think I Wanna Stab Myself
You Were Addicted to Drugs?
We're Gonna Go Donate Bone Marrow
I Don't Wanna Spend the Evening Feeling Stupid
The devil has a bounty hunter?
You Did It to Yourself
Really Vivid Dreams When He's Awake
We've All Lived With This Secret for Far Too Long
The Important Thing Is You Owned It
I Don't Look Like an Idiot
You wanna do this the easy way or the hard way
Or We Could Run Like Little Girls
I'm the Devil's Bounty Hunter
Fueling up for a lightning strike
What She Is Insinuating Is That
Uh, I Was Talkin' to Me, to Myself
Great Job With the Arsonist
Look At That Tool
The Devil Tried to Carjack Me
Maybe I Could Get the Word Out
The Devil Just Pretty Much Sets Me Up for Failure
Catching Up on Current Events
Is This a Carjacking? Are You Carjacking Me?
Ben, Can You Find Delaware on a Map?
That Little Piece of Dink, I Hate Him
You're Pretty Much Trying to Buy Me Off, Right?
Is This About You Being Afraid?
You Gotta Give What's His Face Credit
Isn't Nature Magnificent?
Because I Implied It, You Lied
You've Mastered the Art of Not Working
I Keep Three Shopping Carts in My Mom's Backyard at All Times
I Feel Like a Grownup Kinda, I Feel Responsible Now
You're Done When You Die, Right?
Nothing About You is Pathetic, Andi
Like I Play In The Kiddie Pool?
You Must Be a Real Moron
Ned Schmecker! Meet the Schmecker-Checkers!
You're Evil, I've Heard
I'm an Ass Hat
Because All Myths Say God Granted Humans Free Will
So People Can Break Out of Hell?
You're the Magic Devil Guy With the Kung Fu Mind Grip
How Drunk Are You? How drunk am I?
You're Like Batman, Weird Adrenaline Car-Mom Things
You Were Supposed to Move That With Your Mind
I'm Not a Carjacker, I'm the Devil
I Didn't Touch It, I Moved It With My mind or Something
Ted Says I'm on Notice
I Need You to Punch Me in the Face Right Now
I've Got Plans Also, Sleeping, Waking Up, Getting Dressed, Xbox
I Didn't Exactly Stick it Out in College
She Goes to College She's Got Low Standards
Happy Birthday Buddy