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Quotes and Sound Clips
I Didn't Plant Zucchini!
Food, Food, Give Me More Food
Tangling with a Man From Michigan Life & Casualty
We Could Have Made a Simulated Snow Man
I Believe You Were Thanking Me For Saving Your Lives
We're Headed Straight for That Mountain
The Laws of Aerodynamics Are The Same Everywhere
Then I Can't Fly It
He Can't Even Work The Toaster
Then, Why Are They Laughing at Me?
Worst Weekend Of Our Entire Lives
I Can't Imagine What Caused The Toaster To Short Circuit
I Was Wondering Whether Our Room Would Be All Right
Then I Won't Be Needing Your Shaver Anymore
Yeah, What The Heck, Get Crazy
I Won't Allow Him to Have a Mustache
Bathroom. Gotta Clean the Fish
I Just Thought It Was The Ice Machine
Like A Conversation
Alf, We Trusted You to Stay Out of Trouble
Uh-Oh, Am I Going Alone?
Thanks Again for the Garbage Can, Trevor
You're A Pilot?
What Now? 11 Records For a Penny?
That Explains This Personal Thank You Note From Ed Mcmahon
Where's the Grated Cheese?
It's Still Stuck To The Roof Of My Mouth
Check The Front Porch
Kind Of A Letdown, No Recipes
I Lucked Out!
You Had Roach Problems Then, Too?
Watched A Little TV. Killed A Bug
I Want A Hug
Don't You Read Fairy Tales
I Feel Like The Pretty, Little Virgin [full]
Plus, If You Drive Off A Bridge, I'll Survive
I Took the Liberty Of Spraying Around Your House
Our Little Prehistoric Friend
They Did An Article On Poison
It's Crawling With Spiders Back There!
Detroit Became Known As Jaffeetown
I Don't Have A Harpoon
A Lot Of Good R & B Groups Came Out Of There
Bloodsucking Maggots That Take The Form Of Their Host
Right, Lets Just Sit Around And Read
May I Suggest the National Guard
I Said, We're Driving Away From this Roach
Do You Measure at the Shoulder or the Head?
Anything It Wants To
Alf, What Happened When You Sprayed Roaches On Melmac?
So We're Talking About An Unconfirmed Kill
You Named It After My Brother?
I Believe a Foot-Long Cockroach Would Upset Kate
You Can Order The Doughnuts
Then You Make Sure Alf Doesn't Get the Doughnut Before the Roach
We Already Have a Unique Specimen From Melmac
Look It Has Blue Eyes
What's the Surprise in the Center?
We're in Luck
That's Nothing to Be Ashamed Of
Just Finish Your Will!
Can I Borrow 6 Grand Of It?
By Getting Us Hopelessly in Debt? Good Strategy
have I Become That Predicitable
When You Say It, It Sounds So Sleazy
Maybe Somebody Will Buy the Folding Chairs
You Think I Placed a Bet With You and Now I Owe You $6,000!
It's Just An Observation
Who Cares? Get Up!
Maybe He Dropped Something
It's Not The "Mayflower," It's the "Nina"
How Much Did You Win, Grandma?
Did You Know My Mother Bets On Horses?
Not My Hockey Stick!
You're On the Skids Aren't You
On Melmac We Didn't Name Our Bottles
If It Weren't For The Ship Stuck In It
Now Can You Explain "Secular Humanism" Again?
You Can Get a Whole Package of Balloons for 69 Cents
You're Selling The Garage
If We're Lucky
We Don't Have to Be Fanatics About It
Is That Your Son?
Would Galileo Have Sailed Around The World
Some Of the Stars Have Exploded
I Keep It In My Glove Compartment
My Head Just Exploded
I Think I Left The Oven On
All Right, Lets Call It A Mistake
Hey, You Want Power?
It's Mr. Science
I Promise Not To Pick Any Science Questions
Are You Referring to That Chemical Spill?
It's Dangerous to Leave You Alone With Nothing to DO
Oh, Like You Were There
I Almost Hit Alvin On My Approach To Earth
I Thought They Called You Mr. Science
If the TV Were Working, I Wouldn't Be A "Butt-Inski"
So Is Taxidermy
Let's Stuff Lucky
No, a Sandwich That Hands You Your Golf Clubs
We Only Have Four Teeth
I'll Leave It Tuned To Oral Roberts. Maybe It'll Heal Itself
Super. Welcome To "Little House on the Prairie"
TV Is My Life Line
Apparently, It Was a Mistake to Call You
Yeah! The Tv Set Is Broken
Courage Comes From Inside
Fine. I'm A Dot On The Horizon
You Said The Kid Was Fungus
I Stink! Spencer Says So
Buy A Vowel!
I Trust You Won't Get Into Mischief
Knocks 'Em Unconscious!
Hey, Look Who's Here. His Name Is Willie
They Probably Fell Out Of Her Mouth
You're Afraid of the Dark?
Willie, Are You All Right?
This Is the Last Straw!
I've Been Through A Trauma
The Guy Can Turn Anything Into An Object Lesson
I've Got to Stop Speed-Reading Books
The "Boy Who Cried Wolf" Lied
It Was An Atomic Bomb
Fantasy From Reality
Maybe They Were Playing Ice Pick Bingo
No one In This Room Watches You Through Your Windows
What Do You Do? Inhale It?
And You Loose Weight That Way
Remind Me Never To Take You To Mercury
I Saw It In Streetcar
You Could Fry a Cat on the Sidewalk
Trevor's Ahead on Points
You're In A Mood
Well, It Is A Nice Day
Luis and I Have Become Very Close
Luis' I've Spoken To Your Father
No, I'm Amazed She Had A Boyfriend
I Think A-L-F Can Sleep in the Garage
Hey, Kate, You Owe Me for the Celtics Game
Only A Fool Bets On The Pros
I Want To Hear The Joke About The Kid With No Family
There's a Boy Here Who's Got to Go Back to Mexico
I'm Taking A Mexican Boy To Catch His Bus
Hey Kate. I'm The King of France
You Speak English?
No I Was Hiding In The Dryer
I Just Knew The Whole Thing Had To Be A Practical Joke
I Heard It Was The Food Of The Future
You're Not a Blood Relative
I Thought We Didn't Have a Wayne Schlegel
I've Just Lost a Perfectly Good Marriage Thanks to You
I'm Not the One Who's Going to Jail Here, Buddy
You Don't Know the Mistake You Just Made!
What Goes Around Comes Around
What Are You Doing on the Phone?
I Memorized That Number When ALF Moved In
Mrs. Ochmonek Has My Rolling Pin
Is This the Face of an Insurance Agent?
All Right, Maybe I Need A Shave
I Liked You Better as an Alien
We'd Better Act Fast
Did I Have An Affair With Your Wife Too?
You Can't Keep Me Here!
Isn't It Obvious That You're Not Wayne Schlegel?
You're Not an Insurance Agent
You Obviously Haven't Met Brenda
You Got A Job?
If Fake Vomit's Not Your Cup Of Tea, I'll Loose It
ALF Doesn't Care a Heck of a lot About Me
You Do Care What Happens To ALF
I Don't Believe in Anarchy, It's Must To Spontaneous
How Ya Doin', Lucky?
We Wouldn't Want To Miss That
Larry's Coming Over Here to Observe And Make Suggestions About ALF
Yeah, Make Milk Come Through Your Nose
ALF Can Be Very Complimentary
This Isn't A Blind Date
Next Minute He's Putting Fake Vomit On My Pillow
I Have a Creature From Outer Space Living With Me
When Did He Put Fish In The Dryer
I Jog at Night and I Wear a Dark Headband
You Can Really See The Definition In My Thigh Muscles
I Go Into Your Bedroom At Night and Watch You And Kate
You're 229 Years Old, And That's What You Think Is Funny?
I'm Working At It
At Least I Don't Feel Bloated
Do I Smell Bacon?
There's Still One More Stage. Quoting People
Then They Won't Be Hard To Spot
How Long Do You Preheat These For A Cat
I Was Hoping I Could Get Lucky
There's A Big Rat In Here
Didn't I Say Not To Open This Door
The Cage With The Reinforced Sides
Anything To Get My Hands On A Cat
You Better Bot Be Finished
I Insist That You Respect My Wife's Privacy
I Just Pulled the Curtain Open
In The Shower
We'll Make It All Back With Our Stock Market Picks
You're Going to Be in a Coma
All the Way Willie
Obviously, You Know What You Are Doing
Nobody Flush the Toilet
What Is This, National Seance Day?
All Right! We'll Chat With The Dead!
I Thin We Would've Remembered That
A Pickle, You?
I Was No Steve Allen
Whizzer Deaver and the Whizztones
He Was Fixing My Garbage Disposal
My Name Is Whizzer Deaver
Anyone Can Send Shrimp
Why Are You Sending a Ham to Sally Field?
Whining Is Not Going To Bring It Back
I Found A Whole Box in The Back Of Your Closet
Not with Chocolate on my Tongue
No Heavier Than Other Boxes I watched You Carry
You've Never Seen The Inside Of Her Handbag
We'd Make Better Time, If You'd Let Go Of My Leg
Sending Him Out To Die?
Right Let The Alien Starve
How Would You Like to Be 50% Hair?
Medium-Rare. Hold The Lightning!
Call The Newspapers, Democracy Is Dead!
Not Everyone Enjoys Spending Their Vacation in a Rain Forest
I'm Going To Sit Here And Complain
That's Easy For You To Say, You're Not 98% Hair
You've Been Reading My Recipe Book
What Lemon, What Are You Talking About?
May I Suggest San Diego?
You Guys Are a Bunch of Negative Nellies
You've Been Saying That Since We Docked
Hey Chief, Let Me Take Over The Controls A While
It's All This Singing About Beer
I Didn't Think It Was A 3-Man Job
Or The National Inquirer
We're Dropping the French?
Thank You For Sparing Our Kitchen
The Check Came!
Willie Sometimes Less Is More
Once Again You've Brought Harmony To This Household
You've Got To Write Us Out
Are You Dictating Your Autobiography?
I've Got The Woman Talking To Chairs
On Melmac, We Use It To Relieve Writers Block
No Wonder You Don't Sit At the Head of the Table
We're Having Pancakes, Okay?
I brought gifts
Who's at the Door?
I Used To Watch Route 66
Just Kidding, See?
What Is A Fault Line, Anyway?
I'll Be Right Back. Don't Leave Town
Look at What You've Done
I Think You Might Need a Lawyer!
You've Just Crashed Into Our Garage!
It's Been A Really Quiet Night
I'm Driving Too Fast
I Can't Im In The Fast Lane
Easy For You To Say You're Not A Limited Partner
Before I Knew It I Was On the Freeway
Kate, That Car Goes 180 Mph!
There's an Alien on the Road In a Red Ferrari
But Joel Is In Palm Spring
Unless She's A Professional Tennis Player
I'm Not Above Taking Tennis Lessons
Things Are Appreciated More When They're Earned
We Need A Car
I Know What You're Thinking, I'm The Ogre
We Cannot Have a Rational Conversation In The Presence of A Ferrari
He's In Palm Springs 'Til Thursday
Look, We Are Not Keeping a Car That Costs $60,000
Why Don't We Just Needlepoint That Into A Sampler?
Or Shall I Say Congratulazione
Except for the Bidet. That Was Platinum
I Got it Through My Broker
It's True. Everybody Wants Red
This Tastes Like Fish
I Think That's One of the Most Repugnant Things I Can Imagine
He Got Caught Substituting Hamburger For Collie
You Guys Would Go in Halves With Me on a Car?
We Can't Afford To "Spring For A Car"
Then Who's Bringing In The Toes?
I Used A Catalog
It Cost Me $367, With The Fine and Towing
What a Great Christmas!
I Finally Get To See Snow
We're Going To Get Fined
There's a Forest Ranger Headed This Way
You Bought a Fake Tree?
It's Not Like We've Got An Alien Living With Us
He Was Talkin Too Much and Somebody Hit Him
I'm Just Trying To Keep From Crying
There Always Was That Tree
I'd Love To be Superman
We'll Have Christmas in March
You Get the Chain Saw and Fill It With Gas
Well, You'd Have To Know Carol
I Knew You'd Bring That Up
I'm Not Waiting For An Invitation
We're Stuck With This Thing For a Quarter of a Century?
I'm Talking To Carnac
Why Are You Holding Eggs?
What Do We Do, Just Add Water?
Mom, I Found Another Egg
You Cut Our Tree Into Firewood!
I Don't Want To Spoil The Surprise
Christmas Is When We Carve The Pumpkin
She's Setting a Bad Example for all the Other Daughters
Alf Has a Crush on Me
Just Another Pretty Face
May I Suggest the Key of E Flat?
Ancient History Wasn't My Best Subject
See? You're Still In Charge
You Would've Been a lot of Fun During the Renaissance
I Told Him No Suitcase, No Suitcase
Welcome Home, Alfmeister
Let's Not Get Maudlin
You Remember the Time He Was Changing The Tire
It's An ALF Cake
I Can Hardly Blink
We Thought if We Could Contact Another Melmacian
It's Not Going To Come To You!
I Want To Go Home
It Was Something By The Beach Boys
My Planet Blew Up And Some Girl You Knew Moved To Ohio
She Was Someone I Knew Before I Met Your Mother
All Right, Tell Me About You and the Martian
I Said, Goodnight
I Was Brushed, and Curried, and Ready For Love
That Last One Was A Real Bummer
I'll Never Have Another Birthday With My Friends
I'm Really Depressed About Brian's Birthday
Well Don't Take The Sheep
Lets Hear It For The Tan Man
What the Hell!
Would It Be All Right If I Paid You Later?
Pumped As Tire
I Didn't Jump Because I was Afraid To Jump
You Sent My Wife Flowers?
I Think Kate's Been Coming On To Me Lately [full]
You're The Man of the Century?
I've Decided To Go Skydiving
Kate, Do You Think of Me As Predictable And Safe
Imagine Mach 8 and Double It
Snack To Snack
I Ate the Rest of the Cake. I Should Tell You That Now
What a Life!
Have Couple Of Potatoes and Wait For My Paper
How Do You Skydive Just a Little Bit?
I May Want Sea Bass
Something I Found Behind The Chemical Toilet
A Race Of Cucumber People on Mars
And An Alien
Still Waters Run Deep There, William
I'm Very Touched
To a Super Dad, Husband and Earthling
To Pay For That Phone Call To Munich
I'm Not Telling Until I Get A Drum Roll
I Think We Sold Something
You Have Abused the Trust of This Family
How Could You Purchase $4,000 Worth of Makeup?
Well, Exactly How Much Did You Buy?
It's How Much You Buy!
You Have a Real Flare for the Business End, Too
I'm in the Rouge-Slinging Game
What Are Hunting Sachets
It's Too Quiet
What About A Sponger
I'm Going To Get Some Cookies
Who Made This Call to Munich
No Chance Of Your Getting a Better Job, I Suppose
Could We Put an End to the Stooge Talk?
Freeze Out The Alien
Now We Have 2 Cats
We Should Have Watched More of The Fugitive
And His Manhood
It Means Breakfast Is Over
Not When the Accused Coughs Up the Victim!
It's A Fur Ball
It Means Hypnotizing the Cat Into Thinking He's a Bagel
I Was Chasing Him With A Fork
I Wonder Where Lucky Is
Forget Merv. We're Not Talking About Merv
I Draw The Line at Intestinal byproducts
How Can One Alien Be So Irresponsible?
This is not Behaving this is Mass destruction
It's Not Always True That They Land On Their Feet
Refrain From Kidding Lucky
I'm Trying To Help Lucky Beat His Smoking Problem
The Old Frisbee
From My Brief Marriage to Cathy Rigby
I Won't Let Jody Drive
I Lucked Out. Jody's BLind
Is Alf Getting Married?
It's Just This "Jody" Business
It Causes One To Barf Up One's Dinner
Eight Hours Of Dickens. Take A Pillow
Playdoh. The Fluorescent Kind
Lyrics Too Complicated?
Hold That Thought. The Show Is On
To Brian Alf Tanner
An alien took control of my radio
Isn't That Illegal; Immoral?
I'd Like To See What It Does When It Wakes Up
We All Plugged Our Hair Driers In At The Same Time
You Use My Toothbrush?
I'm Glad To See You Haven't Wasted Your Life
Hand Me The Pliers!
Looks Like Twice-Eaten Pork
Would They Like One?
I'm Not Wearing Anything Underneath
There Was a Thief Here, Wasn't There?
I Should Have Locked Him In The Garage!
I'm In The Bedroom Wearing a Blue Dress
And The Cat Is Going To Be Okay
You Keep Calling
I Want Mrs. Bates
I Didn't Break It
To Sit With Brian
Make Sure He Doesn't
You're Out Of Floss
I'll Still Be In The House
No Wonder I Didn't Know It
I Turn the Key and It Goes
Sounds Like A Typo
Never Saw A Thing
Just Dont Use All The Hot Water
Count Me In
There's No Need for You to Shave
That Is Inconsiderate!
You Calling Me A Liar?
No Cat Eating. Not in This House
There's No Need For Name Calling
Get Rid Of It!
Brian's Right. It's an ALF
We-- We Have a Visitor
This Is the Way It Began That Extraordinary Night
50 foot water snake
Laxative on a rope
Hey cow girl, nice calves
Good morning America