"The League of Shadows has been a check against human corruption for thousands of years. We sacked Rome. Loaded trade ships with plague rats. Burned London to the ground. Every time a civilization reaches the pinnacle of its decadence we return to restore the balance."
Goldmember: "Austin Power's father." Dr. Evil: "His what?" Number 2: "His father Dr. Evil." Dr. Evil: "His farder?"
"It did sound a little wet didn't it, right at the end. Oooo ha ha ha. Let's have a smell alright, ooo wafting wafting, everybody likes their own brand don't they. This is magic."
"Are you Samuel James Witwicky, descendent of Archibald Witwicky?"
Optimus Prime: "My name is Optimus Prime, we are autonomous robotic life forms from the planet Cybertron." Ratchett: "But you can call us 'Autobots', for short."
"He's leaked lubricants all over my foot."
“A boy’s best friend is his mother.”
"At age 7, as is customary in Sparta the boy was taken from his mother and plunged into a world of violence. Manufactured by 300 years of Spartan warrior society to create the finest soldiers the world has ever known. The agoge as it's called, forces the boy to fight, starves him, forces him to steal... and if neces...
"Listen carefully Leonidas. Xerxes conquers and controls everything he rests his eyes on. He has an army so massive it shakes the ground with its march. So vast it drinks the rivers dry. All the God-King Xerxes requires is this: a simple offering of earth and water. A token of Sparta's submission to the will of Xer...
Leonidas: "And you, Acadian, what is your profession?" Free Greek-Sculptor: "A sculptor, sir."
Acadian: "Why do you smile?" Spartan: "Acadian I fought countless times yet I never met an adversary who could offer me what we Spartans call a beautiful death."
"To it quickly before we decide to make our wall a little bit bigger."
"A thousand nations of the Persian empire descend upon you."
"Forgive me captain. He is a good soldier. But, a little short on manners."
"We fight as a single impenetrable unit. That is the source of our strength. Each Spartan protects the man to his left thigh to neck with his shield. A single weak spot and the phalanx shatters."
"My son! Astinos no!"
"You speak of duty, honor, glory, but what of adultery?"
"A bribe of flesh gentlemen, while her husband promotes anarchy and war."
"I was talking to this girl the other day and uh she said 'All guys want is sex.' And I go 'Listen finish blowing me and we're gonna talk about this later.'"
"Are they really enjoying my party?"
"What is the alert right now? Are we still in apricot? Or are we? What are we? Beige?"
"I have a dream that this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed, We hold these truths to be self evident that all business men are created equal. I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia that the sons of slaves and the sons of slaveholders will be able to sit down at the table...
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
"I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwiches? All-encompassingly!"
"I never joined the army because at ease was never that easy to me."
"Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic! Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupus! One of those two doesn't sound right."
Doug's friend: What happened last night? Doug: Am I missing a tooth? Doug's friend: Whose baby is that? Doug's other friend: Check it's collar or somethin.
"My, isn't this an awkward moment."
"Uh oh... You're a john."
"A vote for me is a vote for Kramer."
"Feels like an Arby's night."
Dick: "Just act normal." Mary: "I'd ask you to do the same but I'm afraid that ship has sailed."
"She thinks she is all that but she is not all that."
"Do you really want to be the subject of some alien autopsy show on the Fox network?"
"If you believe in miracles, love at first sight and breakfast in bed, contact me for adventures in truth."
"Agua la vista, baby."
"Now five percent is not gratitude mister. It's an invitation to an ass-kicking."
Stan: "Ask Cartman, they gave him an anal probe." Cartman: "He he that's uh a little joke."
"Ah Son of a bitch!"
"Aliens stuck stuff up your ass!"
Chef: "Topical cream, ain't gonna fix what's wrong here." Character 1: "Hey hey there now, there have been a lot of incredible advances in topical cream in the past few years."
A passing bird passes gas
"Ok now. All of you little Chewbaccas take your seats."
"Actually I think they make fun of the fat boy a lot too, but now I think they like him because he picks on me."
Jesus: "Damien." Damien: "Ahh! Son of Stench! Cursed ruler of the weak!" Jesus: "So it is thou, son of Lucifer." Damien: "Your time on this earth is short, soon my father comes." Jesus: "Let him come then, I shall stop him."
"I'll be a teenage girl backstage at an Aerosmith concert!"
"Oh, look! I found another one. Oh, this is just a stupid triangle."
"Thanks Tom, those are some cute cute kids, 'cept for that last one, he's a little tubby."
"I've never seen a woman drink that much. You're amazing Miss Cartman!"
"Do you know my friend has, like a Dad. And my friend Kyle has a Dad, and my friend Kenny has a Dad..."
"You have to admit you have a problem before anybody can help you."
"Uh, alcohol is bad."
"Now, who was that? That was not appropriate behavior, okay?"
"Yeah, my ass is killing me."
"All this time, 'Look out for your little brother, Kyle, keep an eye on your little brother, Kyle.'"
"This just in! South Park has plunged into total anarchy."
"I give you this hardback copy of 'Atlas Shrugged' by Ann Rand."
"I said return to your homes, before I start arresting people!"
"Get your ass to jail! Sweet!"
"Conjoined Twin Myslexia Awareness Week!"
"We have just received a tape from another viewer who filmed the Mexican Staring Frog..."
"Wow, the aliens are getting ice cream!"
Cartman: "All done." Ms. Crabtree: "Sit down and shut up!"
"I dreamt that Cartman dreamt that we were trapped on a bus..."
"Hell, everything's legal in Mexico, its the American way."
Hallelujah! . . (I think. . . . ) BPM IV follows this; it corresponds to the time of emergence from the womb during the birth process and is characterized by feelings of victory, release, exultation, but also sometimes, after that initial relief, of depression — when the struggle does not bring the expected rewards,...
"Hi I'm Hank the Easter Bunny and as part of my community service I have to do some PSAs…being famous and all. Uh, so Mike did something about fat kids, I'm going to do something about skinny girls. Stop being fucking skinny. Stop starving yourselves! Stop having no ass, stop having no tits. It's disgusting. I don't...
"Mr. Garrison... Stan's behavior is having an adverse effect on my education."
"I thought all guys had clubhouses."
"I have special armor on, that's impenetrable to American bullets."
"I am above the law!"
"Now Stanley, Aunt Flo only visits once a month, be nice!"
"I said no, and I mean no. Respect my authoritay!"
"Do you know what the Spirit of Christmas is, its a lie... from the lying pigs who consider me the-"
"What the hell is wrong with you Manson? You're acting all funny."
"He has ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder... that's why he's so jittery all the time."
"Hey, all's fair in love and war... and coffee."
"Well we can explain that to you easily, you know for a price."
"This guy sucks ass!"
Stan:"But I just wanted you to be proud of me like you were with Kenny." Jimbo:"But Kenny's dead, and you're always going to be my nephew. And you just can't kill anything. You understand?" Stan:"Dude, I don't understand hunting at all" Kyle:"Yeah, it's stupid. Let's go watch cartoons" Cartman:"Yeah, cartoons...
EG: Ay, nah nah, hey hey, nah nah ay oh MG: I agree EG: Where all the shawties on the court? JS: It's ridiculous, one woman on the Supreme Court, uh, doesn't seem right to me. EG: Ain't nobody have a breakfast with all sausage and no eggs. MG: We need a shawty with a hot body and sexy legs. EG: When the court co...
"It's about the kids, not your parents."
"And then they put it on television and it’s the least interesting thing in the world. And it always reminds me of being in a conversation at Christmas with an aunt you don't know that well. Did you hav some fish? Did you have fish and potatoes? Yeah…and then it's on the internet."
"One of the most important things Johnny Carson taught me was that no matter what happens in the world you always have to have a monologue ready to go cause that's your job. When times are serious, you make silly jokes; when times are silly, you make serious jokes. But you always want ot have a joke and that's what ...