Brief remarks

"The script allows me some brief remarks at this time and I exercise my right to tend to those remarks to you Senators."


Bart Simpson Scientology Robo Call


"You bastards. You vicious heartless bastards!"

Bearer of Bad news

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, your airness, but if you don't find a fifth player, your team will forfeit the game!"


Monstar: "You're all washed up…BALDIE!" Michael Jordan: "Baldie?"

Big mistake

"You guys are making a big mistake!"

Bonafide Pirates

"Ah, congratulations ladies, you are now bonafide pirates."


Jason: "Buford?" Character 2: "Yeah, I've just rebuilt him." Jason: "Ah, looks good." Character 2: "His motor system is .01 milliseconds faster than the finest omega built." Jason: "I don't ah, mean anything by this, but is there any particuluar reason why he's black?" Character 2: "Sure, I wanted him t...

Bad programs

Character 1: "What's going on?" Character 2: "We got a bad program." Character 1: "We always have bad programs."

Be prepared

Jimmy: "So, what else?" Joe: "There's not much more to tell than that. Water's wet, the sky is blue, and ol' Santa Claus, Jimmy, he's out there and he's just getting stronger." Jimmy: "So, what do we do about that?" Joe: "Be prepared son, that's my motto, be prepared."

Bond…James Bond

"My name's Bond... James Bond."

Bounty hunter

Josey: "You a bounty Hunter?" Bounty Hunter: "A man's got to do something for a living these days." Josey: "Dying ain't much of a living, boy."


"Do you suppose these gentlemen will be available to discuss business before long?"

Buzzards gotta eat

Jamie: "Wish we had time to bury them fellas." Josey: "The hell with them fellas. Buzzards gotta eat…same as worms."


"But there is one thing he cannot take away from you. Your faith. Believe for we will see God's wonders."

Born again

"I do not seek monetary reward, for I am called to a greater glory! Here at the Battle Creek Sanitarium, the spirits soar, the mind is educated, and the bowels... the bowels are born again!"

Boxes of shit



"My name is Bruno Hautenfaust. I was named for a saint, who was a very wealthy man. Got wines, the womens, the songs... the whole bit, and then inexplicably, took a vow of poverty and became a hermit. Went off to live in the forest, in the nude."


Dusty: "Well, I think I'll have a beer." Bartender: "We don't have any beer, just Tequila." Dusty: "What's tequila?" Bartender: "It's like beer." Dusty: "Is it fattening? Bartender: "Fattenence?" Lucky: "Forget it. If it's like beer we'll have some. Three tequilas>" Bartender: "Sure, sure amigos, enjoy yourse...

Blind Hatred

Patrick Verona: "I told you, you may have a concussion." Katarina Stratford: "You don't care if I never wake up." Verona: "Sure I do!" Kat: "Why?" Patrick: "Well, then because I'd have to start taking out girls who actually like me." Kat: "Like you could find one." Patrick: "Oh, see that there! Who needs affec...


"You know, just cause you're beautiful, that doesn't mean you can treat people like they don't matter."

Black Panties

Bianca Stratford: "Aha! Black panties!" Cameron: "What does that tell us?" Bianca: "She wants to have sex someday, that's what." Cameron: "She...she could just like the color." Bianca: "You don't buy black lingerie unless you want someone to see it."


Deckard: "Shakes? Me too. Part of the business." Rachael: "I'm not in the business. I am the business."


Roy Batty: "It's not an easy thing to meet your maker." Tyrell: "And what can he do for you?" Batty: "Can the maker repair what he makes?" Tyrell Tyrell: "You were made as well as we could make you." Batty: "But not to last." Tyrell: "The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. And you have burned so v...

Blow job

Jeff Dearly: "You know, B for Bobby and J for Jeff. You know BJ Landscaping." Mona Dearly: "Well, I think JB Landcaping has a ring to it. Besides, you don't want anyone going around calling you Blow Job Landscaping do ya?"

Buy a vowel

"Phil, I've really been a good sport about all of this. I really have. I've really tried to do what you want. You wanted to buy an O so I let you buy a vowel. I did... cause you wanted to buy a vowel so I let you buy an O but that wasn't good enough. You had to have the free spin. You wanted to have the trip to Acap...

Butt on that

Harry: "Holy geez, look at the butt on that!" Lloyd: "Yeeh, he must workout."

Bloated Warthog

"I apologize for calling your wife a bloated warthog. (laughs) And I bid you good day!"

Burn Out

"I have something to say! It's better to burn out, than to fade away!"


Murtaugh: "Trish is Ebony Clark!" Riggs: "Trish is Ebony... you are boinking her!" Murtaugh: "Yeah, yeah! I'm boinking her

Bad Chinese

"I'm sorry, honey, I had some bad Chinese."

Better friends

"You're not better friends than Froggy, you're just different."


"Bloop, bloop."

Born For Greatness

"Did you ever get that feeling that you were just born for greatness?"

Break it up and kick it

"I said hold that or I will break it up and kick it around on the ground."

Be like me

"From now on you will strive to be like me. You will like me, talk like me, and be bald like me."


Brand New Colony

Best team

"We were the best team in the NFL."

Beat their asses

"We went into Pittsburgh and we fucking beat their asses in Pittsburgh."

Bloody pulp

"And we fucking beat Arizona to a bloody pulp."

Batman scene change

bill oreilly do it live

bill oreilly fnthingsucks


Boy George everybody

"Boy George everybody."

Beat him

"Can you see it. Some bloke touching your computer. Tell me Seth right now wouldn't you handcuff him and beat him with a length of chain."

Be aware of your surroundings

"So tip number 1, be aware of your surroundings."

Burst into flames

"Now did you know that it is estimated that Santa's Sleigh weighs 353,000 tons so traveling at 650 miles per second would create such an enormous friction that Santa and his reindeer would burst into flames."

Bart the Scientologist?

Hey, what's happening, man, this is Bart Simpson. Just kidding! Don't hang up! This is Nancy Cartwright and this is a very special phone call to you. I'm now auditing on new OT7. And I've been asked to speak at the flag world tour event on January 31st in the grand ballroom at the Hollywood and Highland center...


Bell of the Ball

"Well if it ain't the Bell of the Ball."


"You want some more of me boy."


"You're next Buddy."


"Sure you are Bobby."


"I got a question Boss."

Bicker about position

"Golly, hate to bicker about position sweet heart."

Big Kahuna

"The Big Kahuna."

Broken nose man's girl

"That's broken nose man's girl."

Boar expert

"Thank you boar expert."


"You gonna lecture us about lying Betty."

Baby Huey

"Baby Huey is like nails on a chalkboard."

Blue Beard

"Hell, Blue beard blew us up because they wanted your kid."

Bar Bar

"If it were a scary movie I'd be with a hot chick not you Bar Bar."

Bad news pops

"Well I got bad news for you pops."


"You too Brutus."

Baby Napper

"Like you Baby Napper."

Bring it

"Bring it."

Born into privilege

"One born into privilege."

Bred for slavery

"The other bred for slavery."

Beasts at our door

"Without the loyalty between us we are no better than the beasts at our door."

Bruce Lee

"She talked to that guy…Bruce Lee from the freighter."


"You want to set this little bastard free?"

But seriously

"But seriously."

Bleed my own blood

"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!"

Bang splat

"Bang splat real fast."

Break you in half

"I'll break you in half like a little tooth pick."

Buy a house

"I'm going to go out and buy a house."

Being Polite

Dodge: "Well, thats a mistake, letting her taste your coffee." Garrett: "Well she liked it last night." Dodge: "She was just being polite. Nobody likes it, take my word."

Blow it up

"Yes, blow it up. Blow it back to God. All your life has been spent in pursuit of archaeological relics. Inside the Ark are treasures beyond your wildest aspirations. You want to see it open as well as I."


"I'm going after a find of incredible historical significance, you're talking about the boogeyman! Besides, you know what a cautious fellow I am!"

Belongs in a museum

Indy: "That belongs in a museum Belloq: "So do you."

Body cannot live without the mind

Neo: " I thought it wasn't real." Morpheus: "Your mind makes it real." Neo: "If you're killed in the Matrix, you die here?" Morpheus: "The body cannot live without the mind."

Byebye Kansas

"It means buckle your seatbelt, Dorothy, 'cause Kansas, is goin' bye-bye."

Blue Prints

"Cris-crossing the Torah, is a code of hidden words and phrases that not only reveals our past and present, but fortells our future. Some even believe that it contains the actual blueprints of the universe."

Book of Daniel

(Reading from the book of Daniel): "The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne... and great authority. But one of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound. But the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was astonished... and followed the beast... "


"No bucks, no Buck Rogers."

Built This Town

"People like you come here and blow the family nest egg that built this town."


"Look at these people! Blinded by glitter and the almighty dollar."

Bye bye then

"Take care now, bye bye then."


"Oh! You little bastards!"

Book of the Dead

"Necrenemnocon ex moritis, the Book of The Dead."

Back to the 60's

"I'll go back to the '60's recharge my mojo to beat Dr. Evil and be back in time for tea."

Beat him again

"I've beaten Dr. Evil before and I'll beat him again."

Broken Arrow

Army Guy: "We've got ourselves a Broken Arrow." Presidential staff: "A broken what?"

Big deal

"I don't know what the big deal is, I really don't."

Bunny gets it

"Make a move and the bunny gets it."

Bunny back in the box

"I said, put the bunny back in the box."

Blast from the past

Simon Phoenix: "What can I say? I'm a blast from the past! Hahahahaha!" John Spartan: "You should have stayed there."

Back in the fridge

"Somebody put me back in the fridge."

Butt cold out here

"I'll tell what's on my mind…it's butt cold out here, and I'm fresh out of beer!"


Max: "Why would a woman come over at 1:30 in the morning to see you?" John: "Just why do you think, bonehead."

Bury his boner

"Looks like Chuck's gonna bury his boner."

Baloney pony

"Looks like Chuck's taking a ride in the wild baloney pony."

Ballbusting bitch

Leprechaun: "The force field is to make sure no-one leaves without us…(quieter) you ball busting bitch! Princess Zarina: "What did you say?" Leprechaun: "Rich…you'll be rich when we fine me gold!"

Big is good

"All right! Big is GOOD, hahaha!"

Bull's balls

Gus: "Journalists gets in there, right iwhere the bombs are falling, he's aggressive, he grabs the bull by the balls." Josey: "You don't think I can grab a bull's balls?"

Bong hits anyone

Jerrytown guy: "That weasel snagged the bee!" Mersh: "Alright! Bong hits anyone?? Haha!"


Bee bopping

But if you make loads of money

"But if you make loads of money, hate going to work, no one respects you, you always wish you were somewhere else, you cry constantly, you day dream of punching small animals and you sit next to this guy it's probably time."

Bruno, you bad, bad bird

Mail Man: "Morning Mrs. Lawrence. Not again." Mrs. Lawrence: "Bruno come back here! Bruno, you bad, bad bird."

Benny talked

Gangster 1: "Benny talked." Gangster 2: "You want me to take care of it?" Gangster 1: "I think it's time we let everyone know what happens to people…"

Better get to work

Vicky: "5 seconds MacGruber!" MacGruber: "Vicky!" Vicky: "Fine, Pepsuber." MacGruber: "Okay I better get to work on this baby after this…"

Bridgestone or nothing

"Drivers want to get the most out of their cars. It's Bridgestone or nothing."

Bud Light Vroom Vroom Party Starter

Conan: "Bud Light." Techno men: "Vroom vroom the party starter." Cat: "Meow." Conan: "Vroom vroom party starter."

Bring it Sapp

"Bring it…Sapp."

Buckle up dudes

Man 1: "Alright let's get this show on the road boys." Man 2: "Buckle up dudes."

Back in time

Man: "Did we go back in time?" Dr. Rick Marshall: "Yes and space."

Bye bye Romeo

"Bye bye Romeo."

Bring me the big knife, I'm gonna cut my throat.

"Bring me the big knife, I'm gonna cut my throat."

Beautiful bemus-ed, belacose butcher

"Carry it hard harded harvenger of haggets. Beautiful bemus-ed, belacose butcher, untrusting, unknowing, unlove-ed. He wants you back he screams into the night air like a firmean going into a window that has no fire except the passion of his heart. I am lonely. It's really hard. This poem sucks!"

Beat the Wizard

Chrsitine: "What you gonna do anyway. You won't get your money back." Nicholas Van Orton:"I don't care about money. I'm pulling back the curtain, I wanna beat the wizard."

Butt-fucking Captain Kangaroo

"Do you really believe that just because you publish children's books people are gonna care about my reputation. You could have pictures of me wearing nipple rings butt fucking captain kangaroo"

Brett, autograph this pump

Dom:"Hey uh Brett what are the chances I could get your autograph on this pump.Something nice for the wife and kids."Mary: "What?"Dom: "Oh, shutup, cocktease."

boning to get to Mary

"I was only boning you to get to Mary."

Ball point pen

"At 24 he performed open heart surgery in a crowed opera house with a ball point pen."

Bale/O'Reilly Flip Out

Bridge Over Troubled Wa..


Blessed evening

"It was just a very blessed evening. Excited about being apart of it. Surreal in a way."

Being the one

"Our focus will be about being the one at the end of the season and we're no different than anybody else in that regard."

BLAM! They on us like there's no tomorrow.

"So what happens when we go out to a party with some sisters, huh? What happens? I'll tell you what happens: BLAM! They on us like there's no tomorrow."

Bow Wow Prank Calls a Hoe Store

Michelle: "This is the House and Homes gardening center this is Michelle how can I help you?" Bow Wow: "I was just calling to see what kind of hoes you have basically." Michelle: "Well we have tall hoes. We have short hoes. We have thick hoes. It all depends on what you're plowing." Bow Wow: "What color hoes do you ...

Birds filling the entire wind screen

"It was a normal climb out in every regard. And about 90 seconds after take off I noticed there were birds filling the entire wind screen from top to bottom, left to right. Large birds. Too close to avoid."

Brace for impact

"I made the brace for impact announcement in the cabin."

Began doing our duties

"Well that wasn't as bad as I thought and then we quickly began doing our duties."

Brace, brace, heads down

"Terror. Sheer terror. We thought we were going to crash on the runway. We began yelling brace, brace, heads down, stay down."

Bird strike

"It was so quiet and I said what was hat? And I whispered and you did say maybe a bird strike."

Bugging people

"After bugging people for hours I finally got the word that it was official that the count was 155."

battle ignition

Beatle Barkers - I Saw Her Standing There

Beatle Barkers - Love Me Do




But maybe, love shouldn't be such hard work.

"But maybe, love shouldn't be such hard work."

But do you truly hear what I'm saying?

"I hear that you hear what I’m saying…but do you truly hear what I'm saying?'

Before it was a better meal, now it's a better life.

Ray: "What's wrong, mom?" Dorothy: "First class is what's wrong. Before it was a better meal, now it's a better life."

But they don't check out.

Agent K: "Roaches check in." James: "But they don't check out."

Be able to afford them

"I know I'll be able to afford them when I'm done with my schooling."

Be with them

"And be with them."

Back there

"You're back there ladie dadie."

Bigus Dickus

Bigus Dickus

Blow my mind

"If it is it's going to blow my mind because I don't know if I'll be able to stand looking at Michael Bolton if they are there. I'd be so stoked."

Bobby Bird noises


Be a cable guy

Bobby: "What would you be doing if you didn't act." Jimmy: "I probably would be installing cable for this if I wasn't doing this. I mean I am good at setting up VCRs and that sort of thing."

Beached whale

"Oh my god. It makes me feel like a beached whale."

Before And After Piece

Are we doing a "before and after" piece I don't know about?

Bore Someone Else

Please bore someone else with your questions.

Buy a car with a pussy magnet

"A man yesterday tell me that if I buy a car, I must buy one with a pussy magnet."

Best hair in Kazakhstan

"This is the best hair in Kazakhstan, feel the quality."

Because I Let You Win

Captain Renault: "Rick, there are many exit visas sold in this café, but we know that you've never sold one. That is the reason we permit you to reamin open." Rick: "Oh I thought it was because I let you win at roulette."

Bring an Old Man a Blanket

"Then bring and old man, another blanket."

Blue Horseshoe Loves Anacott Steel 2

"Blue horseshoe loves Anacott Steel."

Because it is Wreckable

Bud Fox:"Why do you need to wreck this company?", Gordon Gecko:"Because it's wreckable alright!"

Blue Horseshoe Loves Blue Star

"Blue horseshoe loves Blue Star Airlines."

Buzzsaw Introduction

"Let's give a down home welcome to Buzzaw Eddie Vadowski, last season's leading stalker!"

Being a Moron Is Not Against the Law

"My client is a moron, that's not against the law."

Broke the Chain of Command

"This kid broke the chain of command and ratted on a member of his unit, to say nothing of the fact that he is a US Marine and it would appear he cannot run from here to there without collapsing of heat exhaustion."

Business of Saving Lives

"We're in the business of saving lives."

Blowjob from a Superior Office

"If you haven't gotten a blowjob from a superior officer, well, you're just letting the best in life pass you by."

Blue Blazes

"What in the blue blazes?"

Boogity, Boogity

"Boogity, boogity, boogity, boys. Let's go racin'!"

Bring on the confetti!

"Hey, how come the only one celebrating is me, huh? Where are the girls? Bring on the confetti! Ow! Ow! Easy with the confetti. What's goin' no? Come on, snap some pictures. I gotta go sign my deal with Dinoco!"

Barely legal pussy

Randal: "The best part of this job is the barely legal pussy that comes in here and they all look up to me because I've got a driver's license. It's awesome." Dante: "You're 33!"

Because of Pillow Pants

Elias: "Well we can't because of Pillow Pants." Randal Graves: "What the fuck's Pillow Pants?" Elias: "Pillow Pants is a little troll that lives in her pussy."

Build towards

Randal: "Not a waste of time, it's building towards something." Wife: "How about you build towards getting me some fucking fries."

Because of the color of my skin

"Well, listen to you, telling me I can't do something because of the color of my skin. You're the racist!"

Be my baby

"The night we met I knew I needed you so…"

Be my baby with chorus

"So won't you please? Be my, be my babe … be my darling baby."

Baby stand up straight

"Baby stand up straight."


"Now, the most important thing to remember in this, is balance."

Best place to practice lifts

"You know, the best place to practice lifts is in the water."

Bend your knees

"Bend your knees and go. Good."

By the 2nd turn you really had it

Johnny: "You did good. You worked hard." Baby: "I saw that old couple from Kellerman's and I thought that was it." Johnny: "Me too, me too. By the 2nd turn you had it." Baby: "Yeah but I didn't do the lift." Johnny: "You did good."


"You couldn't hit your ballbag with your own wrinkled cock."

Barry Goes Berserk


Barry Badrinath

"Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath? Who's Barry Badrinath?"

Beer Can Opening

Beerfest is a Log

Jan Wolfhouse: "Is this part of Oktoberfest?" Pim Scutney: "Oktoberfest is for tossers and shape shaggers Beerfest is a log, the ultimate test of a beer gamers medal."

Best Friends are Whores

Todd Wolfhouse: "And don't say anything about her being a whore." Fink: "She's a whore?" Jan Wolfhouse: "She's not a whore." Barry Badrinath: [about Great Gam Gam] "I'm just saying is... some of my best friends are whores." Todd Wolfhouse: "We know, Barry."

Better when I'm Drunk

"I'm better when I'm drunk!"

British Nonsense

Pim Scutney: "Your all for a coat and no trousers, you are." Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I'm sorry, one more time?" Rog Gobshire: "Shove off! We're gonna put the skitters in your Alan Whickers, you plonker!" Barry Badrinath: [Looking to Fink] "Do you know what he's saying?"

Boondock Saints

Rocco: "Fucking... What the fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks... fuck!" Connor: "Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word."

Better get Apollo a ladder

"Well personally, I think the first thing you better get Apollo is a ladder."

Black Folk Talk Mush-Mouth

"That's 'cause us Black folk talk mush-mouth, Lieutenant."

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

Secretary of State: "I'm the secretary of state. Brought to you by Carl's Jr." Joe: "Why do you keep saying that?" Secretary of State: "'Cause they pay me every time I do. It's a really good way of making money. You're so smart, why don't you know that?"

Bunch of Dumb Shits

Rita: "You think Einstein walked around thinkin' everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?" Joe: "Yeah, hadn't thought of that." Rita: "Now you know why he built that bomb."

Big Pile of Rocks

"Shit, that's a big pile of rocks."