Beth: "Truth is you shouldn't' be getting a hotel room. I never got a room." Danny: "Mom, Bart got a room." Beth: "Bart got a room?" Receptionist: "Hi, can I help you?" Beth: "We need a room."
"And a pitch. Dave just pitched a tomato which wont work. But a healthy vegetable filled diet could give you energy to hit that grand slam, run, throw, think, eat better. Can your food do that? Find out at SmallStep.gov. A public service announcement brought to you by the US Department of Health and Human Services a...
"Play ball! Now pitching, Dave Black. Dave is about to catch his opponent off guard. Not with his nasty fast ball, no. Instead of a fast ball Dave will be hurling a tomato. And the pitch. Using tomatoes as baseballs won't go over well with anyone. But if you're looking ot hit the ball further and throw better, eatin...
"Here that, that's the sound of safety and the sound of your family's belongings staying where they belong. In times like these it's important to know how to protect your home, your family and your valuables. A good strong lock on a solid and frame can make a huge difference. No burglars will spend no longer than a ...
Operator: Okay what’s your name sir? Man: My name is Chris Huber, h-u-b-e-r. This gentleman’s first name is Rory; I can call him on the radio and get a last name. Operator: Okay is he…do you know what his description is? Man: HE’s a slender black man, walks with a cane… Operator: How old is he? Do you know? M...
Operator: 911 what are you reporting? Man: We got someone or something crawling around out here. Operator: Did you see what it was? Was it a person or animal or… Man: I can’t tell. All I know is that my sensor light came on and I just happen to glimpse and see this thing running across the yard. A good sized man ...
"You're one of only two Watchmen ever to reveal their true identity to the world. Turning your superhero alter ego Ozymandias into a billion dollar industry."
"We were supposed to make the world a better place, what happened?"
"My pussy is hanging out."
"He believes in not rewarding the losers for missing all the warning signs. I mean for God's sake the guy works at CNBC. They're the best of the best. The only business network that has the information and experience that we need."
"Squakbox. Reasoned financial reporting that combines the raw speed of false money with the intelligence of a box of parrots. You just had to know how to listen."
"Barrack which means blessing Hussein…don't ask."
"And Bill has some bad luck, he found the only Jewish girl who couldn't get his thing up."
Operator: 911 Emergency. Man: Okay, mostly you people are a bunch of bullshit. But if you’d like to do something that’s really worthwhile get on TV news stations, it’s 6 o’clock and let the public know where in the hell all these butterflies came from today. Is that clear enough? Operator: Butterflies? Man: Yes....
Operator: Police and fire do you have an emergency? Man: I got stuck in this window trying to break into the house. Operator: What’s the address sir? Do you know the address to the house? Man: No I don’t. I’m calling from the house? Operator: How are we going to find it? Man: I’m stuck in the window. Operator:...
Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"? Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff. Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly. Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling...
"I mean we live in Jersey which is one of the best states in Jersey."
"The best of the best undefeated ninja champs."
"Just bring Sasuke home."
"When I think back to where I was before I met my friends, there was nothing but pain and darkness."
"You're bust is a little bit forward which makes your bottom come out a bit."
Maybe we can remove the financial expert and the In Cramer We Trust and start getting back to fundamentals on the reporting as well and I can go back to making fart noises and funny faces.
"They'll be plenty of time to wear rings and be boring and lame when we reach our late 30s and we're boring and lame anyway."
Boy: Hey Dad. Dad: Yeah. Boy: You remember that ball game we went to a couple years ago? Dad: Sure. Boy: And how you didn’t have enough cash for two hotdogs so you walked with me on your shoulders until we found an ATM and then when we got back to our seats we never saw the hotdog guy again. Dad: Well I don’t r...
JAY LENO: The 44th President of the United States, please welcome President Barack Obama. (Applause.) THE PRESIDENT: Thank you. (Applause.) JAY LENO: Good to see you. THE PRESIDENT: It is good to see you and –- (applause.) Thank you. Let me just say, I think Kevin looks good in a suit. (Laughter.) JAY LE...
"I must say, this has been one of the best nights of my life."
Dick: "The economy is going gangbusters. It's doing very well primarily because of the tax cuts we put in place in 2001 and 2003." Jon: "Hm, I get it. Bad things rubber, good things glue."
"Yo what's up this is the Black Eyed Peas and we're here for RADD: Recording Artists, Actors and Athletes against drunk driving. Music is one of the most important things in our lives, but nothing is more important than life itself. So when you drink and drive you're risking the life of yourself and the lives of eve...
"Hey how you doing everybody? I'm Brian McKnight for RADD: Recording Artists, Actors and Athletes against drunk driving. Give your keys to a friend because friends don't let friends drive drunk. A public service message brought to you by the US Department of Transportation, RADD, the National Association of Broadcas...
"Happy Holidays everybody. I'm Brian McKnight for RADD: Recording Artists, Actors and Athletes against drunk driving. When your traveling during the holidays and you see someone who has had too much to drink about to get behind the wheel, get those keys. Friends don't let friends drive drunk. A public service messag...
Brooks: Hey y’all I’m Kicks Brooks. Dunn: I’m Ronny Dunn. Brooks: And we’re Brooks…. Dunn: …and Dunn for RADD and I got a 4 letter word for you. Don’t, as in don’t drive drunk. Brooks: And I got a 3 letter word for you as in get, get the keys. Dunn: When you see someone who’s about to drive under the influence…...
Operator: 911. Woman: Somebody they took my house… Operator: Ma’am. Ma’am. Do you know what time? Woman: They come everyday. I don’t know what time but they come everyday. Sometimes 1 day… Operator: Okay what’s’ the problem? Interpreter: The lady insists…a bunch of men black magic. Operator: Okay, the lady says her ...
"Blades of steel."
"Hit the pass!"
Operator: 911. Woman: This isn’t really an emergency but it is sort of one for this little old lady. I’ve been terribly upset and I thought the only thing I could do, I don’t believe in sleep pills and all of that, I went out and bought a couple small bottles of beer. I thought that would relax me. Operator: What’...
"I believe that bad luck has a way of rubbing itself off on other people."
"You're the best god damn hitter I ever saw."
"Scruds, does that booger-eating spaz make me want to puke."
"Blow it out your bunghole!"
Morris Buttermaker: [reading names off roster] "What the hell? Daragebrigadian? Is that Aztec?" Garo Daragebrigadian: "No, Armenian." Morris Buttermaker: "Well, they both built pyramids."
"Ok so not olnyl do I have to coach the bronze medalists for the Special Olympics, but I gotta be an Amway salesman too?"
"Sometimes bird poo tastes like candy."
Chester: "Have you guys ever been to Uranus?" Jesse: "Yeah I hear it's lovely this time of year."
"We will now use the power of the Continuum Transfunctioner to banish you to Hoboken, New Jersey."
Uncle Elroy: "Ya'll tired of eatin' that barbecue from up the street? Where they give you more sauce than they give you meat? Then bring your big ass down to Bros. Barbecue, 15837 South Crenshaw Boulevard, that's right off Manchester. Bros. Barbecue, tastes so good, make you wanna slap yo' mama! Don't it, Willie?" M...
"Brothers bar bar barbecue."
"Craig and Day-Day. Man I was about to Barry Bond your black asses."
"I'll beatbox your ass."
"Well, I was born without the top of my skull and I guess a little bit of my brains was showin' and it was grossin' everybody out so my mom put this wig on me to cover it up and then the bones grew together and it got all infused and entwined. I mean I don't mean to get all scientific with you."
"I'm a roast, baste me."
Joe Dirt: "So later on today I'm pickin up my Hemi Roadrunner that's right I said Hemi." Jill: "Wow. A Hemi. Balls to the Wall." Joe Dirt: "Oh yeah, left it at a friends house. Actually it got towed away two years ago, but I'm picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat w...
Car Dealer: "And by the way, I'm only doing this because that Buffalo Bob guy shoved a road flare up your bunghole." Joe Dirt: "What?"
Pam: "Are you authorized to be backstage?" Dwayne: "No."
Adrian always tells the truth. No maybe I can't win. Maybe the only thing I can do is just take everything he's got. But to beat me, he's gonna have to kill me, and to kill me he's gonna have to have the heart to stand infront of me, and to do that, he's gotta be willing to die himself. I don't know if he's ready to...
"You know it's hard for me to say these kinda things cause that ain't my way. But if I could just unzip myself and step out and be someone else, I want to be you."
McCauley: "You see me doin thrill seeker liquor store hold ups with a born to lose tattoo on my chest?" Vincent: "No, I do not." McCauley: "Right, I am never goin back."
"You see me doin thrill seeker liquor store hold ups with a born to lose tattoo on my chest?"
"If it's between you and some poor bastard who's wife you're going to into a widow. Brother, you are goin down."
"Whatta we got? Bon voyage mother fucker! You were good."
"Down the street there is the Cambury Fight Club. They used to call that place like the bucket of blood. I took some massive beatings down there but it was nice, good memories."
Marie: "I'm sorry about those guys and everything." Rocky: "Oh that's okay. You know, some of those guys just have their brains on backwards and stuff."
"You find that situation on you, that's good. Cause that's baptism under fire."
"He's never had to rally back. Well if he tries to dig down against Balboa, he's gonna find that he doesn't have a big enough shovel."
Dixon: "You want me to fight a guy that I can beat with both hands tied behind my back." Agent: "Everybody knows you can beat the guy sitting down. But that's not what it's about, it's about making money."
"Well I'm asking cause you're dancing around all these problems you might as well come dance with me. Now I ain't that good but I'm probly better than the average bear. And where that came from I don't know."
"The press has labeled you a Balboasaurus."
"I'm ten years old. My life is half over. And I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes or white with black stripes."
"We should have brought chips and dip!"
Gloria: "(Looking up at the stars) Wow, would you look at that." Alex: "It's like billions and billions of helicopters."
"Bye, little fuzzbuckets."
Private: "Skipper, don't you think we should tell them the boat's out of gas?" Skipper: "Nah, just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave."
"Let's see, take responsibility for my own life or blame you? Ding ding ding ding ding. Blame you wins hands down."
"I say we blow the fuckers up."
"But I have a message for the killer. There is no place you can hide, there is no place you cannot be seen. Killer I will find you, because I am a servant of the nation, because justice is justice, and because France is France."
Dialect Instructor: "I would like to buy a hamburger." Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "I would like to buy a damburgen." Dialect Instructor: "I would like to buy a ham-bur-ger." Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "I would like to buy a damburgen."
"I think there's a bit more speed to be coaxed from these sails. Brace the foreyard!"
Norrington: "Do excuse me while I kill the man who ruined my life." Will: "Be my guest."
"Balboa you get winner shares sixty five dollars, plus fifteen dollars locker and corner and five dollars shower and towel and 7% tax comes to forty fifty-five."
"Stay in school and use your brain. Be a doctor, be a lawyer, carry a leather briefcase. Forget about sports as a profession. Sports make you grum and smell. See, be a thinker, not a stinker."
Carter: "Man, what's wrong with you? You don't jump in front of a black man in a buffet line. Calm down." Heaven on Earth Hostess: "Your friend have big appetite. Please, follow her upstairs into the quiet room." Carter: "It ain't going to be no quiet room no more."
"That's it. Bite that thing. Bite it! Bite it like a little monkey. Go on, bite it! There you go, yank it. Use them tiger teeth. Grrr! Grab it, pull on it! You almost got it. That's it, raaarrr!"
Harry: "Bump on the head I'm as free as a bird." Mary Jane: "Will you bump me on the head?" Harry: "Bop."
Maître d’: "Bon soir. You have un reservation?" Peter: "I'm sorry but I don't speak." Maître d’: "But this is a French restaurant, no?" Peter: "Oui."
"Parker you are such a boy scout. When you gonna give a guy a break?"
Aunt May: "Peter?" Peter Parker: "Yeah." Aunt May: "Are you all right?" Peter Parker: "Uh, I'm fine." Aunt May: "Any better this morning? Any change?" Peter Parker: "Change? Yeah, big change." Aunt May: "Well hurry up, you're going to be late?" Peter Parker: "Right."
"Bring him down."
"...the toughest team in the Federal League. Not this. Buncha... pussies."
"I have a personal announcement though. I am placing a personal bounty on the head of Tim McCracken. He's the coach and chief punk on that Syracuse team."
"I'll set up lodging in your place, and when you get back, we'll do some Budweiser therapy."
Stewardess: "Return to your seats, now please." Sarah: "Beat it stew!"
Sarah: "He asked me out to dinner, the champagne is flowing…" Tom: "Please, try not to break into song."
"You're getting divorced. Breakfast beer is a must!"
Mr. Miyagi: "Bonsai Danielson." Daniel: "Hey Bonsai!" Mr. Miyagi: "Bonsai!" Daniel: "Bonsai!" Mr. Miyagi: Bonsai!" Daniel: "Bonsai!"
Law school is for people who are boring, and ugly, and serious. And you, Button, are none of those things.
She's got the six carat Harry Winston on her bony, unpolished finger.
Let the bloodbath begin.
And don't forget to bring your own Merlot.
I think I dropped something on the floor that I need to pick up! So you bend, and snap!
You know, you're really being a butthead.
I've got a big one for you.
But don't worry. My girlfriend Serena once barfed on a guy during the Blair Witch Project and they ended up dating for three months.
All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs.
Harry: "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans?" Ron: "They mean every flavor! There's chocolate and peppermint, and there's also spinach, liver, and tripe. George sweared he got a boogie flavored one once."
"I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death."
"Isn't he beautiful? Oh bless him look, he knows his mummy!"
"That is one of my more brilliant ideas, and, between you and me, that is saying something."
"To Mr. Ronald Weasley, for the best played game of chess Hogwarts has seen these many years - 50 points."
"Bugger off. Call me later."
Mark: "Do you admit the Brazilian prostitutes were a mistake?" Peter: "I do."
Mikey: "Best shag you ever had?" Billy: "Britney Spears." Mikey: "Wow." Billy: "No, only kidding. She was rubbish."
"Find a venue, over order on the drinks, bulk buy the guacamole, and advise the girls to avoid Kevin if they want their breasts unfondled."
"Watch out America, here comes Colin Frissell, and he's got a big nob."
Jimmy: "Hey, you dog you!" Michael: "I am a bit of a dog. Thanks so much Jimmy."
"As soon as they pull up we should blow them away."
So it speaks… But does it dance?
John: "Where'd you learn to shoot like that?" Jane: "Beginngers' luck."
She's like Batman for computers.
Man big highline assignment Steve, you know how it is. Actually, you probably don't.
Have you been a bad boy?
Someday I'd like to buy myself one of these things.
Eddie: "Are you saying you had your ass handed to you by some girl?" John: "I think so."
Allow me sweetheart. You've been on your feet all day.
How could I be so stupid?
John: "I just want to you know, I'm going home and going to burn everything I ever bought you." Jane: "I'll race you there baby."
The guy has had my BBQ set for months.
You know sweetheart, you're being a bit hypocritical. It's not like you're some beacon of truth.