"Great buckets of bullshit. It's Curly, come back to life."

"Hell of a lot better than those cattle drives, yes sir. More fun, you don’t' have to watch where you step."

"It's just that my wife is coming in from the airport right now. See, I told her everything and I've planned this really fabulous evening of being yelled at."

"Tomorrow, you will be released."

"You have learned to bury your guilt with anger. I will teach you to confront it and to face the truth."

"Theatricality and deception are powerful agents. You must become more than just a man in the mind of your opponent."

Bruce: "So Crane was working for you." Ducard: "His toxin is derived from the organic compound found in our blue flowers. He was able to weaponize it."

"Batman will save us. He'll come."

"Let's get out of here before she blows."

"She's exceptional. We will breed with her and send our imperial progeny back to populate your Earth."

"Beam another blast."

Ernie: "What am I supposed to do with my afternoon?" Max: "Maybe you could learn to breathe through your nose."

"Let's go. Hurry up! The bewitching hour is about to begin!"

"Form into a battle stream behind the rocket."

"There's a lightning field across the entrance. When this baby hits it...boom. All the fuel and everything, it will blow that field dead."

"Made from the fat of a hangman. Legend says that on a full moon it will raise the spirits of the dead when lit by a virgin on Halloween night."

"Freeze, you bloody bastards!"

"Better late than never."

Mary: "'Tis a b-black river." Sarah: "Perhaps it is not too deep. 'Tis firm!" Mary: "Careful, Winnie." Sarah: "'Tis firm as stone." Winnie: "Why-- Why, it's a road!" Sarah: "Firm as stone." Winnie: "Sisters!" Sarah: "Firm as stone." Winnie: "My book!"

Max: "You've messed with the great and powerful Max! You now must suffer the consequences! I summon the burning rain of death!" Winnie, Sarah, Mary: "The burning rain of death?" Winnie: "He makes fire in his hand." Winnie: "It's the burning rain of death! Come you idiots!"

"Billy Butcherson was Winifred's lover, but she found him sporting with her sister Sarah, so she poisoned him and sewed his mouth shut with a dull needle so he couldn't tell her secrets even in death. Winifred always was the jealous type."

"It's just a bunch of hocus pocus!"

"Broom ho!"

"Bubble, bubble, I'm in trouble."

"Bless you."

"Which for you is Bad News Bears. Walter Matthau."

Number 3: "Bye." Austin: "Mole."

TV Guy: "Check it out, those remind me of…" Ozzy: "Boobs." Sharon: "Boobs Ozzy?" Ozzy: "These filmmakers are just __ boobs."

"Bros before hoes."

"You know, best thing for a hangover is weed."

"If the Decepticons find the Allspark and use its power to transform earth's machines and build a new army."

"Bumblebee is a brave soldier. This is what he would want."

"Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs and bush, boobs and bush."

"Go hang out with your bearded freak friends."

"The tall one is gawking at me and the short one is being very droll. I don’t like em."

"How are things at buttfuckingham palace."

Luigi: "What did Luigi tell you, eh?" Lightning: "Wow, you were right. Better than a Ferrari, huh?" Luigi: "Eh, no."

Have the breaks checked on my car.

Pakistani Proprietor: "You keep calling me Babu, it's 'Singh' motherfucker!" Providence Gangster #1: "I'm trying to help you. Don't you understand?" Pakistani Proprietor: "You keep on telling me 'I'm your friend'." Providence Gangster #1: "Yeah." Pakistani Proprietor: "You don't even know my fucking name!"

Billy Costigan: [picking up the pills] "Two pills? Great. Why don't you just give me a bottle of scotch and a handgun to blow my fucking head off! Are we done here with this psychiatry bullshit?" Madolyn: "You know what? You can leave!" Billy Costigan: "What the fuck did I just put myself through? I'm fucking out ...

Frank Costello: "I wonder what they do in that particular department, anyway." [Costello slams on Costigan's broken arm with Costigan's boot] Frank Costello: [yelling] "Are you still a cop?" Billy Costigan: [in severe pain] "No!" [Costello whacks his arm again] Frank Costello: [yelling] "Swear on your mother's gr...

Frank Costello: "May I remind you - in this archdiocese, God don't run the bingo." Young Priest: "May I remind you - that pride comes before the fall." Frank Costello: "How's Sister Mary Teresa doing? Had a tasty relationship before she took her vows." [Costello hands the priests a nude drawing of the nun] Frank C...

Darling, shall we? We have to get to the beauty department and God knows how long that is going to take.

I think we better get out of here before my girlfriend sees you.

You do not talk to anyone. You do not look at anyone. This is of the utmost importance- you must be invisible.

I don't care if she was going to fire you or beat you with a red hot poker you should have said no!

You bet your size six ass!

Jared: "Hey, did you leave your computer on all night." Liz: "Yeah, it just takes a really long time to reboot in the morning." Jared: "Huh. Hey, you know what else takes a long time? Building a new earth."

"What you are about to see is bizarre, unsettling, and riveting."

Tracy: "Who are the biggest gossips on TGS?" Tracy and Liz: "Grizz and Dotcom."

"Are bare fit in now, or do you just have your shoes off."

"All of my summer replacement shows were big his: America's Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than a Dog, MILF Island."

Liz: "I started a quilt, I did yoga twice a week, I wore flip flops in public, I really feel like this is gonna be my year." Jack: "Biggest loser."

Tracy: "So Labor Day weekend I see this young she-dude at the dumpster by the 40-40. I pull over and I say: 'You don't have to live your life like this. You could be a freaky deeky Andrew data entry'." Liz: "Sure." Tracy: "What about court reporting. Believe in yourself!"

"Hey, you know where I can find that Jack Donaghy. I got a bone to pick with that guy. I don't know which bone I'm gonna pick, but he's got some bones and I'm gonna pick one."

"Being in a foursome with this man can change your life."

Jack: "Lemon, don't ever say you're just you because you are better than you and I am not going to let you give up. This is going to be our year. Now give me the ham." Liz: "I like the ham."

Tracy: "You need to hook me up with one of them helicopters." Ted: "Absolutely, I'd be happy to arrange for you to take a ride." Tracy: "Nah, I don't want to get in it. I want to blow it up and run away from it in slow motion."

Leo: "Are you familiar with the Bradshaw Clinic?" Jenna: "Am I? That's where the Olsen twins were separated."

Tracy: "Hey how come you don't have any more black people around here?" Don Geiss: "I beg your pardon?" Tracy: "How come there's no black people here? Black people can't make lightbulbs?"

"I'm a nice person you bald gangly, hm, I'm gonna try harder, I'm gonna try to be nice."

"Oh don't worry. Dr. Wally is the best there is. In a few hours you'll be back to your old self. It'll be like this never happened."

Liz: "You're not all the way divorced?" Jack: "Well we've been legally seperated since 1989, it's been a nightmare Lemon."

Liz: "You're not all the way divorced?" Jack: "Well we've been legally separated since 1989, it's been a nightmare Lemon. I mean one minute you're newlyweds making love on the floor of the Concord. Then the next your lawyers are fighting over who gets to keep the box your dog defecates in."

Jack: "We gotta order some more champagne, go and jump in my helicopter and buzz Trump Tower until Don comes out on the roof and begs us to stop." Tracy: "Yeah, sounds good!"

"Lemon what happened in your childhood to make you believe that people are good?"

Liz: "Now say five reasons I'm better than you." Josh: "Smarter than me, you beat me in arm wrestling, you read the paper." Liz: "Yeah suck it I do read the paper." Alan: "You want me to do anything?" Liz: "Be a crab."

"I'm old school. Growin up, when you were mad at somebody, you just break dance at em."

Steven: "It's because I'm black." Liz: "What?" Steven: "I said I get it. You don't like me because I am black." Liz: "What? You think I am a racist? That's just nasty and negative."

"I don't know who I am anymore! There's been a black man inside of me for a long time. Now there's a white guy up in here too. It's like an audience for a Bobby McFerrin concert up in here."

Len: "Now, have you ever been arrested?" Jack: "I have. 1976 Democratic National Convention. But it's ok, I was there beating up hippies."

"Hey Liz Lemon. I've been reading the newspaper to come up with some ideas for some topical sketches. So this week can we do Business Section."

"You can either be the head of the largest corporation in America, or get buried in a bow tie with a bunch of cookie jars."

Liz: "Uh, in the opening sketch this week Tracy is a bank robber…" Angie: "No! I don't wanna perpetuate any black stereotypes. Next."

Guy from Court: "How about a sketch about Bill Clinton eating hamburgers." Frank: "That stinks. What is this? 1992?"

"Who brought stars and bright stars, to the party last night. For the rascals we fought."

"Ridikolus and I are in business together now and business heals all wounds. I mean look at our relationship with Germany or Japan. Who can even remember what all the fuss was about?"

Young Tracy & Young Raw Dog: "Brush your teeth, bruth your teeth. When it's time for bed you gotta brush your teeth!"

Rosemary: "I am so proud of you. He heard you roar and now things are going to change around here." Jonathan: "Jack says you're both fired." Rosemary: "Yes!"

Rosemary: "But now that you're free we can work on something together." Liz: "Yeah, we can start our own network called Bitch TV or the second idea that we think of."

"Right now I could walk over to that refrigerator over there, you know, take out a couple slices of whole wheat bread, a little mayo and slap together a BLT. That's bacon, Lucky and tomato."

Kate: "What are you guys doin?" Brian: "Trading Buyo Baseball cards." Kate: "What's Buyo Baseball?" Brian: "It's baseball on Melmac. Instead of a ball they throw fish guys." Alf: "Fish parts! The guts are sold at the concession stand."

"Talking to Andre was like talking to a freakin' brick wall."

"If Mary Alice cuts two people I'm thinking, damn the black guy always dies first."

Carl:" What happened to my frickin' car?!" Master Shake: "Good morning, Carl. How's it goin'?" Carl: "Aw, yeah. Good morning to you there, Mr. Food Monster. This is how it's goin'. Look at my frickin' car. It is crushed to bejesus and back.

Merle: "What in the hell is that? Ya know, this whole plan is just attracting a bunch of goobers." Flargan: "What do their shoes look like?" Merle: "Seems kinda stupid doing this whole thing for shoes." Flargan: "It's not just for shoes!" Merle: "Then for what? This Bananarama tape with no case? We really scored big...

Frylock: "The call is coming from inside that school bus!" Master Shake: "Inside the bus... It is the bus! The Bus of the Undead! VAMPIRES!"

Frylock: "What is this?" Mothmonsterman: "Oh that's Carl. You guy's know him? He's got a real mouth on him." Carl: "Oohhhh. My stomach is vibratin'." Master Shake: "Oh, hey Carl! I didn't recognize you with all that... silk." Carl: "Please God. Cut me down, here Fryman." Frylock: "What've you done to him?" Mothmonst...

Err: "Man, that pool is bitchin'!" Ignignokt: "Where shall I place this wet, primitive Earth towel?" Master Shake: "Drape it on Frylock's computer; that thing heats up pretty good."

Oglethorpe: "We are on top secret mission of world domination!" Frylock: "World Domination? You guys couldn't take over a damn bowl of jello." Emory: "Is that like.. an important place or something?"

"Oohh, the horny broad from the beach. You are a naughty girl. What are you doin' comin' by my bedroom? I thought you had a photo shoot. Well, let me just slip on my swim trunks..unless you don't want me to wear them. That's a possiblity. Huh? HUH? Heheh.. Baby? You pass out or som-- Where's my beer promo?!"

Master Shake: "Burn the house down, there's a monster in Meatwad's room." Frylock: "That monster, as you put it, is a miracle of modern science that arose out of your mess, which I see is still here, Shake!" Master Shake: "Then thank God that I made all this possible.. huh?"

Meatwad: "Wait a second.. this ain't no brain! This a damn bee's nest!" Master Shake:" Aww, shoot. You're right! Why, this is a bee's nest! I've been ripped off here!" Meatwad:" I'll say. You might wanna talk to a customer service rep about that." Master Shake: "Dammit, you know I think I threw away the box!" Meatwa...

"I will...redden their buttocks."

"Heh, heh, hey!! I'm Batman too, eh??!!! AHHH!!!"

Frylock: "I don't have a good feeling about this, Shake. We need to follow them." Master Shake:" Look.. I should not walk so a child may live! ..that's what it does!"

Frylock:"Here, how'd you like to get down with some real gangsters..from the 15th century?" Meatwad: "Bach? Beethoven? Are they down with the Pee Pants?" Frylock: "Well, they wore pantaloons back then, Meatwad." Meatwad: "Shoot, boy, you'd get shot wearing that in my hood." Frylock: "Well, I think these guys are pre...

Meatwad: "This ain't no damn bunny rabbit!" Master Shake: "What do ya know! It's a snake!"

Jingle Billy: "So... we jigglin'.. or…" Happy-Time Harry: "Hey, backwoods retard.. Not now, not ever."

Master Shake: "Look at him and tell me there's a God." Meatwad: "He made me in his own image." Master Shake: "Oh, yeah. That's right.. God's a big meatball! I forgot!"

Meatwad: "Yep. Superbowls are fun. We got braggin' rights this year. Number one." Master Shake: "Who?" Meatwad: "Number one!" Master Shake: "Who? Who's number one?" Meatwad: "..I don't know." Master Shake: "You don't know, because you went to a f***in' farm you f***in' imbecile! Get back here, you cost me my one cha...

Frylock: "Lookin' for somethin'?" Master Shake: "Yeah, are you lookin' for somethin'?" Meatwad: "Just everylasting peace." Frylock: "Look, I shrunk the tickets down and injected.. them into my bloodstream." Meatwad: "Whoa, whoa. I said to hide 'em, not get 'em all bloody." Master Shake: "Yeah, you know you didn't ha...

Frylock: "Just try to imagine a world where emails are sent by your brain before they are written, and they are read before they arrive by people you've never even met, in countries you've never even heard of." Master Shake: "Yeah." Frylock: "No imagine a world where all disease can be cured with one digital-- Shake...

Frylock: "What should I call it then?!" Master Shake: "Bad Ass Motha!" Meatwad: "No, Snoopie. Or Shroeder. One of them two." Master Shake: "No, Bad Ass Motha 4000!" Meatwad: "The Red Baron" Master Shake: "Twice as fast as your ass! Yeah baby!" Frylock: "Look, how about we all just shut up and I turn it on."

Meatwad:" I just don't see how you're gonna see any bears with that fat saggin' over your eyes." Frylock: "Meatwad, don't." Meatwad: "What, if he's our friend we need to be honest with him. Here's the test: now look at me, Shake. Can you see me? Through all the fat drippin' over your eyes." Master Shake: "Well, now ...

Master Shake: "Hey Carl!" Carl: "What?" Master Shake: "You think I could borrow a...come in! Ooo, is this a blooper show? I love these. Watch this: the guy in the cap right there, he's gonna get whacked in the groin by the fish..maybe the fish will bite the groin... Oh wait a minute, this is a fishing."

Meatwad: (Having Episode where Master Shake beats him with backscratcher) "No, don't hit me with that. Master Shake: I'll wail on you all night. How's it taste, motha?" Meatwad: "Okay. That was more the future of the backscratcher and not really you, so let's just take this and break it into a bunch of pieces." Mast...

Master Shake: "Look, there is only one way to get across this street: you close your eyes and just bolt out there with complete disregard for machine." Meatwad: "What if I just kept one open and maybe tried it that way?" Master Shake: "Yeah, if you think you're gonna get somewhere in life by cheating." Meatwad: "Wel...

Frylock: "Benmark?" Shake: "It's a sublevel country...underneath Denmark. Think you would've heard of it."

Meatwad: "Hey, hey Frylock. Gimme a pitcher of beer." Frylock: "I will not, you're not old enough to drink." Meatwad: "Pff. You don't know everything. If you did we wouldn't be losin' right now!" Frylock: "We wouldn't be losing right now if you didn't put down Backstreet Boys on half our answers!" Meatwad: "Look, my...

Master Shake: "You're gonna go back to 37, right? Cause they got the all-day blood buffet goin' on." Frylock: "I don't think Meatwad needs to be watching this." Master Shake: "What are you kidding? Babies aren't scared of this. Bring me a baby. I'll prove it." Oglethorpe: "Emory... Are you there Emory?" Emory: "I'm ...

Willie Nelson: "Of course, Blood-Feast Island Man does thirst for blood." Master Shake: "Yes, the thirst is part of his pain, because the Devil had sex with a dog, and your mother was that very dog." Willie Nelson: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know all about that. And as you know, because you wrote it, I do feel the need to...

Master Shake: "Hey, how's it going? Are you the guy that keeps telling me to "beware" because I'll tell you where to be. Out of my sight!" Voice: "BEWARE!" Master Shake: "Oh, whaddya got a sound guy or som--"

"I haven't paid taxes in six years.. I am not gettin' busted by a sandwich!"

"Good, it works. You try doin' that with your body now."

Master Shake: "Somebody's a little bi-curious!" Meatwad: "I ain't no bi-curious! I'm a man's man!" Master Shake: "Not anymore! I've planted the seed of doubt!" Meatwad: "You don't say that! I'm a man... and if y'all need me I'll be in the garage.. hangin' sheet rock roundin' edges that I'm rebuildin." Master Shake: ...

"His dare was to give me a little booty dance."

"I've got the brains, you've got the looks, let's make lots of money. You've got brawn, I've got the brains, let's make lots of money."

"I did think that I would be able to do well at anatomy because I'm going to beauty school. Like I know the nail, like I can pull the nail apart and like tell you like all the specific parts of the nail."

"I am pretty terrible at buying gifts for women because I'm not quite sure what women want."

"I would totally tell a geek to just do it, ya know, do it. Stop being a geek, be cool, ya know."

"I'll definitely remember Amanda. She helped me like get out of my shell and just believe in myself."

Frylock: "Uh, can we get you to lower our neighbor now? I mean, he didn't do anything to you." Turkitron: "...yet." Carl: "I knew something wasn't normal; I'm not letting it ride this time.. frickin' robot turkey. I knew something was up!" Turkitron: "Is he mad?" Meatwad: "Nah, don't worry about him. He's always got...

Master Shake: "Are those those little burritos you used to make?" Meatwad: "Burritos?!" Frylock: "Well..they're spring rolls." Master Shake: "Gimme those!" Frylock: "I also brought you some ointment for your eyes." Meatwad: "Gimme that ointment!" Frylock: "And some Vitamin C." Master Shake: "Mmm. Spring!" Frylock: "...

Master Shake: "Hey, this closet was full of TVs last time I checked and now there's none!" Meatwad: "Cause you keep breakin' 'em!" Master Shake: "Cause you keep pissing me off so bad! You should be lucky I'm thoughtful enough to throw the anger at the media and not your buttocks!"

Frylock: "Oh, hey Carl." Carl: "What, you got another busted TV?" Frylock: "Yeah.. Something's horribly wrong with it." Carl: "Wow, that's wireless too huh? What do I care, huh? I'm sure someone'll grab it. Whelp, see ya later. (sneaks back outside) Frickin' awesome."

Meatwad: "Well I'm in business (To himself) Business of kicking your ass. And let me tell you, business is booming. I'm open for business. Business is giving you the business.... up your butt. (Sees Shake watching him). Did you hear me say that?" Master Shake: "Looking to expand your business?" Meatwad: ".... Busine...

Meatwad: "Whoa damn. Did you just see that?!" Master Shake: "No, we didn't see it. Everything's fine. Now just shut up and go control it." Meatwad: "Damn! Did you just see that?!" Master Shake: "I'm not in the business of seeing whatever pleases you.."

Ignignokt: "You have all been brought here to celebrate the bruising of the Aqua Teen's asses." Err: "Now that's the reason for the season!" Ignignokt: "Now, role call." Err: "Prepare to kiss ass." Ignignokt: "When I say your dumb name, please stand up briefly, but then quickly drop to your knees and forsake all oth...

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Brownie Monsters: (Clicking) Ignignokt: "I know, I know. We're getting to you. Just wait you're turn; you're coming up on the list. Okay, Brownie Monsters."

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"Hey there where ya goin’? Not exactly knowin' Who says you have to call just one place home. He’s goin’ everywhere, B.J. McKay and his best friend Bear. He just keeps on movin’. Ladies keep improvin’ Every day is better than the last. New dreams and better scenes, And best of all I don’t pay property tax. Rollin’ ...

"Hey there where ya goin’? Not exactly knowin' Who says you have to call just one place home. He’s goin’ everywhere, B.J. McKay and his best friend Bear."

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"Don’t know about the future, that’s anybody’s guess. Ain’t no good reason for getting all depressed. Buy up your pad and pencil, I’ll give you a piece of my mind, In my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine. Stop all your fussin’. Slap on a smile. Come out and walk in the sun for awhile. Don’t fight the fell...

"Don’t know about the future, that’s anybody’s guess. Ain’t no good reason for getting all depressed. Buy up your pad and pencil, I’ll give you a piece of my mind, In my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine."

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"When this boy meets world…"

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"Bronco, Bronco, tearin' across the Texas plain. Bronco, Bronco, Bronco Layne. Worn down around the old panhandle, Texas is where he grew to fame. There ain't a horse that he can't handle, that's how he got his name."

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"The year is 1987 and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes. In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William "Buck" Rogers are blown out of their trajectory - into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems and returns Buck Rogers to Earth five hundred years later."

"The year is 1987 and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes. In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William "Buck" Rogers are blown out of their trajectory - into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems and returns Buck Rogers to Earth five hundred years later."

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Rick James: "He tell it like he gave me some kinda Bruce Lee cross kick or something." Charlie Murphy: "I kicked the shit outta him man."

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Charlie Murphy: "Yo man, my forehead is bumpin man." Rick James: "Now that you mention it, I think I'm bleeding inside my chest."

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"Batman. Batman. Batman, Batman. Batman! Batman! Batman!"

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Darkness brothers. See this is long before Wesley Snipes. Back then we was the blackest niggas on the planet.

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"I definitely, you know what, it's definitely better to be a blonde and it's definitely better to have bigger boobs."

"Brother darkness, ahhhh."

Mike: "What are you an expert at?" Beauty 7: "Being pretty."

"Man I said stop callin me alright, I'm baggin the coke up as fast as I can."

Mike: "You guys are veterans of the show, what should we be looking for today?" Karl: "I wanna see somebody who can beat Super Mario Brothers in 4 minutes."

Jenny Lee: "What is your IQ." Beauty 16: "I don’t know. I have like a 3 point, B average."

Nate: "And who wrote Beethoven's 5th?" Shalandra: "Was it…oski? Mozart!"

"Las Vegas was definitely a beauty town."

"I'm playing D&D tonight, it's better than sex."

"Blondes definitely have more fun. I know this because I once died my hair brown and no one looked at me, I didn't get any attention. It was just like I was a regular person."

"I just recently got a boob job. I do feel like it was an investment because over my lifetime all the drinks that were bought for me, because I have boobs, will probably pay for the boob job."

"Boop-oop-a-doop!"

"Jasmine bested me in battle. Though to be fair, I did give her the longer sword."

Larry: "So I must be quite fascinating to you." Lucy: "You are so exotic you have no idea." Larry: "Really?" Lucy: "Yeah." Larry: "It's like a black man in Sweden."

Jeff: "No, no, no." Larry: "Big vagina?" Jeff: "Gigantic vagina." Larry: "What?" Jeff: "Biggest vagina known to man. It's huge." Larry: "You're kidding me, are you telling me the truth?" Jeff: "It's gigantic."

"Boy cock, girl cock, E-I-E-I-O."

Larry: "He's a conservative?" Jeff: "He's a conservative." Larry: "You're brother-in-law's a conservative?" Jeff: "Big time! Big time conservative."?

Cheryl: "Don't pick up the cheque." Larry: "Yeah I paid the last two times." Cheryl: "You have." Larry: "Yeah cause he runs to the bathroom. Have you noticed that? Everytime time the cheque comes." Cheryl: "I've noticed the bathroom trick." Larry: "He's really got that bathroom trick down." Cheryl: "Yeah he really d...