Hurley: "Mom." Hurley's Mom: "Don't mom me."

Hurley's Mom: "Who is Sayid. I thought he was your friend." Hurley: "He is my friend. But he also has this double life where he does crazy ninja moves and spy stuff."

"Why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch."

"Both you and I have taken an oath to do justice. In essence, to be fair."

"Course, course this is definitely not my room, and I don't have my Tapioca pudding, and the bed's in the wrong place. That's definitely not my bed."

"Don't, don't touch that, that's dirty."

Swackhammer: "DO we have a deal?' Jordan: "Deal"

"Don't get too cocky my boy, no matter how good you are. Don't ever let them see you comin'. That's the gaff my friend."

"Here they are, top of the food chain, and dinner is served."

Marybeth Louise Hutchinson ... "You're borrowing it from science labs?" Zeke ... "I like to think of it as stealing actually. Just doing my part to the deconstruction of America."

"Blonde! You know what you are? Just a dirty Son-of-a-bitch(Ahee-ahee-ahhhh! Wah-wah-wah!)"

Princess Karina: "What was that?" Jason: "Ah, it was…ah…a spa…" Jason: "Space herpe" Nanny: "That's disgusting."

"Ah, ah, Don't give me attitude sir."

Charly: "This guy bites her on the ear, distracts from the pain. Ever try that?" Mitch: "No, no, I sock 'em in the jaw and yell Pop goes the weasel."

Various Dinosaur sounds

Music

"Tell your people as of today, their workload has been doubled."

Interviewer: "Sir, how often should one exonerate one's bowels?" Dr. Kellogg: "One should never, ever interrupt one's desire to defecate!"

"Donations totaling three billion dollars were made today to the Red Cross, the Salvation Army, and the United Nations Children's Fund. The funds were wired from the account of jailed Russian tycoon, Ivan Tretiak."

"Are you gonna do the girl thing? Are you gonna act happy and you gonna be pouting on the inside?"

"I-I guess they gave you a couple of strings. Drugs! What'd they give you? Thorzine? Haldol? How much? How much? Know you doses. Know your doses. It's elementary."

Chew: "You Nexus huh? I design your eyes."Batty: "Chew, if only you could see what I've seen with your eyes."

"Deckard..."

"Please don't kill us."

Mona: "You didn't vote for me." Phil: "Well sorta." Mona: "What do you mean sorta? They all say Bobby." Phil: "Really?" Mona: "Phil, you're my husband. You're suppose to support me." Phil: "Yea but Bobby had really good form though hun." Bobby: "Thanks Mr. Dearly." Phil: "You're welcome Bobby."

Harry: "I've even bred them." Mary: "Oh yeah, any unusual breeding?" Harry: "No mostly just doggy style."

"You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?"

"Don't ever speak to me again, do you understand?"

Connor: "Help me, I'm drowning!" Ramirez: "You can't drown, you fool, you're immortal!"

"I don't like boats, I don't like water! I'm a man, not a fish!"

Lorna Cole: "I brought you a doughnut." Riggs: "A doughnut! Police food! How did you know?"

Leo: "Very funny! I'm working on a very important P.I. case!" Murtaugh: "Did the dog hire you?" Leo: "No, the dog didn't hire me!"

Murtaugh: "The guy's too damn good!" Riggs: "Well, yeah, he's damn good! I mean, how did he do that thing with the gun? How the hell did he do that?"

"I don't want to die in my underwear, Riggs!" (makes chicken noises)

"Ding ding ding, what do we have for her Johnny?"

"Danger, danger."

"Data download in progress."

"That does not compute."

"Download modulator."

"I compute it to be an ionic directional probe."

Harry Doyle: " Rick Vaughn gets the starting call today. We're told he matured a lot over the winter... apparently he's bathing now. Congratulations, Rick! As you know Monty, Vaughn's been working on a couple of new pitches. The eliminator and the humiliator to compliment his fastball, the terminator." Monte: "I he...

"You know you remind me of the doughboy. If I poke your stomach will it make you go OHHH"

"We were the best team in the NFL. And we fucking didn't prove it and now we're out of it completely."

"I got a tattoo you don't see me crying because we lost."

"Hello Seth. Sorry I didn't have time to dress up but I have a lot on my mind."

"Alright, well thanks for having me Seth. I have to find a doctor who takes cash."

John: "No I don't." Vinnie: "Yes, yes you do. Doesn't he sound like this." Assistant: "…John Malkovich."

"Yo! Daddy-o!"

"You better find yourself a runway Daddy."

"House call Dr. Quinn."

"Dr. Do Right doesn't trust me with his antibiotics."

"Oh happy day, here comes Dr. Giggles'."

"What can I do you for Deep Dish."

"You heard Daniel Boone, what's the count."

"Don't have to come down here…bitch."

"I'm an old broken down piece of meat and I deserve to be alone. I just don't want you to hate me."

"Back off Donner."

"Don't think of me as our 'boss'."

"Don't do it!"

"Keep going, don't stop."

"Do you want to dance with the Nature Boy?"

"Vince doesn't have any more plans for you."

"This is by far the dumbest thing I've ever done in my entire life, ah, so dumb in fact that, I can't, oh but I'm gonna."

"Beloch's staff is too long! They're digging in the wrong place!"

Neo: "Am I dead?" Morpheus: "Far from it."

"Welcome to the desert...of the real."

"Dodge this."

"Help the police find Lane! I want him dead or alive, I don't care!!"

Cassandra: "Behind me are the raging flames of where the Dome of the Rock, one of Islam's most sacred sites once stood. Just moments ago, the ancient shrine was rocked by a devastating explosion... (An explosion happens to her left and the live camera feed goes dead) TV Studio: "We lost the feed! Someone find out w...

"In light of the resurrection of God's holy prophets, we are recanting our support, and declaring you a heretic!!"

"I was Judas betraying Christ to be crucified... I was Hitler leading millions to the slaughter... AND... I was the drunken driver who killed your mother! But... I was also the one who stopped a bullet for you. Yes, I died, so that you might live."

"Allow me to display my affection."

"Who disturbs my slumber?!"

"Get away from me you dirty fembot."

"Mr. President, in 12 hours I will destroy Washinton DC with this giant laser."

"Been to Disney World one too many times have we Captain Ron?"

"All right well just keep her pointed due North, don't bump into anything, I'm gonna get some shut eye."

Vince: "The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by observing its prisoners. Dustrusky said that, after doing a little time." Head Briefing Guard: "Fuck you…Cyrus Grisson said that after putting a bullet in my agent's head, OK?"

"If you can't trust a South American drug lord, who can you trust huh?"

"Nathan Jones AKA Diamond Dog. Former General of the Black Gorillas. He blew up a meeting of the National Rifle Association saying and I quote 'They represented the basis to negativity of the white race.' He wrote a book in prision called 'Reflections in a Diamond Eye.' New York Times called it a wake up call for th...

Poe: "You just stay here and don't panic." Man: "It's easy for you to say. You don't got it."

"They called him the Demolition Man."

"Don't you think?"

"Hey watch your mouth, you dumb friggin' Swede!"

"I don't play well with others."

"What do you see when you're in the dark, and the demons come."

Indy: "Leave me alone, I don't like fast women!" Elsa: "And I hate arrogant men!"

Indy: "Dad?" Dr. Jones: "What?" Indy: "Dad!" Dr. Jones: "What!" Indy: "Dad!" Dr. Jones: "What!!" Indy: "Head for the fireplace!"

Indy: "I came here to save you!" Dr. Jones: "Oh yeah? And who's gonna come to save you? Junior." Indy: "I told you…(sounds of struggle and then machine gun fire)…Don't call me junior."

Sallah: "Please, what does it always mean, this 'Junior'?" Dr. Jones: "That's his name. Henry Jones, Junior." Indy: "I like Indiana." Dr. Jones: "We named the dog Indiana."

(singing) "Ooooh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are play-a-ing…"

"Hulu, an evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy."

"Da da da da da da."

"What is this place? Don't go in the pimped out fridge Jack."

"Get more done now. Communicate in less than a second with Nextel's direct connect. Only on the now network."

"Hello, we are here to destroy you."

"Slow down! Slow down! What's the hurry! You're driving like a maniac."

"This Valentine's Day don't send flowers in a box, you'll never know what they're going to say."

Man 1: "Like that drinkability." Man 2: "Huh?" Man 1: "Drinkability, means Bud Light is easy to drink. See Bud Light goes down smooth like this guy here. Where other beers go down like this guy."

"It's the ancient illuminati threat. Destruction of Vatican City through light."

Woman: "Robert it's a dead end." Robert: "No it's not."

"Don't mind her, she's still upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister."

"Hey Lord, whatever I done, don't strike me blind for another couple of minutes."

Christof; "Don't look in the camera. Say something, keep it going. Keep it going" Marlon: "He's gone." Christof: "Cut transmission!" Director: "Cut transmission?" Christof: "Cut it!"

Aaaah, okay for Christ sake let's take it one fucking line at a time. Instead of changing everything, it's very difficult to even create what you're gonna do when it's constant a barrage of change this change this, do this do this, no wait wait, do it a different way do it a different way, don't get me started!

Did I ever yell at you before right now? No! I never fuckin yelled at you!

"Director of Fandemonuim will announce a pick at the NFL draft, join the Super Bowl coin toss ceremony, select a play from the sidelines of the Pro Bowl, receive tickets for the season and a $100,000 signing bonus."

"One reason John is that every week we'll go around the country and people will say did you see that game, did you see this, did you hear about that. Did you watch this."

"The Cardinals deserve a tremendous amount of credit for fighting all the way and a tremendous season."

"I didn't not want to be with the fans at the time."

"Thank you seems totally inadequate. I have a debt of gratitude I fear I may never be able to repay."

"Back then it was a different culture. It was very loose. I was young. I was stupid."

"So far they're both showing about the same excitement level and the robot didn't mess up the author's name."

"Or maybe that can just do the smart thing and hire Newmy."

"Don't call me stupid."

Weaver: "Don't you want your aphid beer?" Z: "Call me crazy, but I have a thing about drinking from the anus of another creature, OK?"

"Doing the Bull Dance, feeling the flow, working it."

"Don't you know how to knock, phlegm-wad?"

Ray Boyd: "Jerry, did you know the human head weighs 8 pounds?" Jerry: "Did you know that Troy Aikman in only six years has passed for 16,303 yards?" Ray: "Did you know bees and dogs can smell fear?"

"DONT .. EVER .. STOP .. FUCKING .. ME .. NEVER ... BETTER."

"Don’t' move or I'll blow your blinking brains out."

Dr. Leeds: "Doug, you're a clone." Doug Kinney: "So…ah, what do I feed it?"

"Did you bring me a monkey?"

U.S. Marshal Erin Poole: "Care to revise your statement, sir?" Old Guard: "What?" Gerard: "Do you want to change your bullshit story, sir?"

Red: "And that's how it came to pass that on the second-to-last day of the job, the convict crew that tarred the plate factory roof in the spring of '49 wound up sitting in a row at ten o'clock in the morning drinking icy cold, Bohemia-style beer…courtesy of the hardest screw that ever walked a turn at Shawshank St...

David: I feel funny. Dad: Stay in your seat. David: Is this real life?

"Sometimes we have that dream and that passion and we take risks. And I did and it turned out perfectly."

"Well it's fucking distracting."

"Do you have a fucking name?"

"Seriously man we are fucking done professionally."

"What's the point guy. Every fucking minute. Don't be fucking sorry!"

"Just don't point the camera at me I'm fucking acting here! No John Rizzy! No! No I don't want to fucking hear it."

"Marijuana doesn't do any harm your pharmaceuticals are the dangerous drugs out there."

"I don't want to go surfing, I'll just swim in the water a bit."

I asked for clean, athletic, smiley; she sent me dirty, tired and paunchy.

I can think of something we can do that doesn't require any clothing.

(Snapped fingers) You do coat. (Snap) Do the coat.

"If this car drive into a group of gypsy, will there be any damage to the car?"

"Okay I have a digital watch from future, I will give you it."

"It would never do for the chief of police to be found drinking after hours, he'd have to fine himself."

"Go ahead and shoot, you'll be doing me a favor."

"Don't fall too far, he hasn't been around the block yet - you have."

"I don't go to sleep with no whore and I don't wake up with no whore. That's how I live with myself."

"Don't make a sound, you understand?"

"Don't touch the hair."

"Dynamo Opera"

Fillmore: "There's a lotta love out there, you know, man?" Sarge: "Don't embarrass me, Fillmore."

Jay: "Fucking Middletown cop pulled us over for suspicion of mischief." Teen#1: "What the fuck does that mean?" Jay: "We were driving around with a deployed airbag."

"Damn dude, don't you be looking at my dick."

"How the fuck could this day get any worse?"

"You're a fucking drone, dude."

"Now, you will hurt me if you don't trust me, all right?"

"The guy had a dirty knife and a folding table. I could hear her screaming in the hallway. And I swear to God Johnny. I tried to get in. I tried."

"What you care about is that you're not Daddy's girl anymore."

"Now I've been thinking a lot about the domino theory. If Vietnam falls, is China next?"

Jan: "Why does the last guy drink out of a shoe?" Pim Scutney: "That's no shoe, that's DAS BOOT!!"

Baby: "So I did it for nothing. I hurt my family. You lost your job, anyway. I did it for nothing!" Johnny: "No, no not for nothing, baby. Nobody has ever done anything like that for me before."

Todd: "Pull it together, you're acting a little crazy here." Barry: "Your wife didn't think it was so crazy when I double teamed her with "Silo" Johnson." Germans: "Ohhh, ho ho, zee double team, ya."

"It's been 500 years? Oh, hell, no! Upgrayedd is gonna kill me! He gets mad when I'm a day late with his money!"

"It's a matter of science, evolution isn't it gentlemen? Drago is the most perfectly trained athlete ever."

"Drago is a look at the future!"

"Don't jive me!"

"He tried taking water from toilets, but it's Secretary Not Sure who finds himself in the toilet now. And as history pulls down its pants and prepares to lower it's ass on Not Sure's head, it will be Daddy Justice who will be crapping on him this time."

"Meet Mr. Acherontia Styx, better known to his friends as the deaths head moth."

"Dear Jamal, Someone I once knew wrote that we walk away from our dreams afraid that we may fail, or worse yet, afraid we may succeed. You need to know that I would know so very early that you would realize your dreams. I never imagined I would once again realize my own. Seasons change, young man. And while I may ha...

"Don't I feel like the fucking asshole."

"Dirty pool, old man. I like it!"

"You know you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy."

"Don't call me babe!"

“You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

"You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?"

"Hey don't worry, I can handle it. I took something. I can see things no one else can see. Why are you dressed like that?"

"You're history. Have the good grace to die with some fucking dignity."

(beginning of film)"Ah-ah, I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I've kind of lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum - the most powerful hand gun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one qu...

Ah-ah, I know what you're thinking punk. You're thinking did he fire six shots or only five? And to tell you the truth I've forgotten myself in all this excitement. But being this is a .44 Magnum - the most powerful hand gun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question --Do I...

Admiral: “I want a man with a tattoo on his dick! Have I got the right man?” Dodge: “By a strange coincidence, you do, Sir.”

“OK boys, down we go!” (evil laugh)

"Dracula... dead and loving it."

"He comes Dr. Looove!"

"Fuck a duck. Holy shit!"

Danielle De Barbarac: "You are the only mother I have ever known. Was there a time, even in it's smallest measurement that you loved me at all?" Baroness De Ghent: "How can anyone love a pebble in their shoe?"

"You cannot leave everything to fate, boy. She's got alot to do, sometimes you must give her a hand."

Goanna: “What's a human?” Batty: “Delicious and nutritious, tastes just like chicken!”

"You couldn't take out a cheeseburger from a drive through window."

Drum beating sound effect.

“I don't love Paris, I don't like the French, and I don't really want to go on this trip.”

"You're in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in history!"