Ricky: Do you know what necrophilia is? Elmo: Elmo wants this tape. Ricky: So do I. Elmo and Ricky: Set your biggest…

"We're going to get down to the bottom of this. Yeah, he's still on there man. Don't be afraid. Don't be a afraid man!"

"There are no known's. There are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns, that is to say there are things that we now know we don't know. But there are also unknown, unknowns. There are things we do not know we don't know."

Mickey: "You don't fucking talk to me like that."

"I think my toughest pick right here. Duke, a lot of skill but they just don't have the muscle inside."

"I picked you all last year, you let me down. This year don't embarrass me in front of the nation alright. I'm counting on you."

Woman: This is nice. Man: I was hoping you would like it. It’s my special… Waiter: I’m sorry sir but it appears as though your credit card has been declined. Did everyone hear that? This person, right here, credit card, declined. If we can please have an awkward silence the next 10 seconds. Man: What’s with the ...

Waiter: I’m sorry sir but it appears as though your credit card has been declined. Did everyone hear that? This person, right here, credit card, declined. If we can please have an awkward silence. Man: I’m with a date here. Look, so I’m late on a few payments, I’ll make it up next month. Promise. Waiter: He prom...

"Happy Holidays everybody this is Dave Koz for RADD: recording Artists, Actors and Athletes against drunk driving. When you're traveling during the holidays and see someone who has had too much to drink about to get behind the wheel of their car, get the car keys. Your friends will thank you for it because friends d...

"This is Dave from the Dave Mathews band for RADD. When you go out and party and get drunk, then drive you're not only loaded, you're a loaded weapon. When you celebrate, designate. Choose a designated driver. Remember music lives and so should you. A public service message brought to you by the US Department of Tra...

Humans were meant to work and sweat to earn a living. Those that try to get rich quick, or live at the expense of others all get divine retribution somewhere along the line. That's the lesson. Unfortunately, we quickly forget the lessons we've learned. And then we have to learn them all over again.

Woman: Hello? Operator: Yes, this is 911 we just got a hang up call from this cell phone is there an emergency there? Woman: You know what, it must have been hit when the dog step on it. Operator: Okay, watch the phone please.

Operator: 911. Woman: Um, hi this really isn’t an emergency per se but I don’t know who else to call…we’re on highway 101 and there’s a… Operator: In which direction? Woman: We’re going South but the thing I’m reporting is a gas station and minimart. The public health officials really need to take a look at that bat...

Man: I need a man with a gun up here. Operator: You do? Man: This mother fucker is….this mother fucker chases a deer in my car. Now I picked the deer up and put him in the back seat…tear my god damn car apart in here. Operator: Where is this all taking place? Man: You know where the…variety is? The store where t...

Hi, I'm Jonathan, and I'm in LA on business, so while I'm here, I thought I'd make some drunken celebrity phone calls. Call 1: I'm trying to reach Nathan Lane? This is Nathan Lane? Holy shit. Call 2: John Cusack? Hey, what's going on. Guess what? I love 84% of your movies. That's pretty good. Call 3: Is this D...

Peter: "Yeah he got up in there." Zooey: "Like tongue?" Peter: "Oh yeah like deep in my mouth."

Roy:"Did you sell the farm?", Iris:"No, I'll always have that."

"Listen, Lupus, you didn't come into this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did you? Now get your ass out there and do the best you can."

"This is not a democracy, it is a dictatorship, and I'm Hitler! You understand me? So get your stuff and get your asses on the field."

Jesse: "Dude, where's my car?" Chester: "Where's your car, dude?" Jesse: "Where's my car?" Chester: "Where's your car, dude?" Jesse: "Dude, where's my car?" Chester: "Where's your car, dude?"

"Dude, your dog's a stoner."

Jesse: "Dude! You got a tattoo!" Chester: "So do you, dude! Dude, what does my tattoo say? Jesse: "Sweet! What about mine?" Chester: "Dude! What does mine say?" Jesse: "Sweet! What about mine?" Chester: "Dude! What does mine say?" Jesse: "Sweet!"

"I refuse to let us to go down in history as the dudes who destroyed the universe."

"Day-Day get your scary ass up man I know you heard that shit."

Both: "Damn." Day-Day: "Who is that?"

"Don't hate… appreciate."

"Dashing through these hoes, in a one horse open sleigh. Everything is 25% off. Everything must go. Maybe even you."

"Didn't know they grew 'em so small on the farm."

"Def Leppard sucks!"

"So Sheryl, I couldn't help but notice that Dwayne has stopped speaking."

"Divorce? Bankrupt? Suicide? You fucking losers!"

"Fuck! Fuuuckkk!"

Olive: "Do you eat ice cream?" Miss California: "I love ice cream. My favorite flavor is Chocolate Cherry Garcia…although technically I think that's a frozen yogurt."

"Ivan Drago, since that tragedy in Las Vegas and the death of Apollo Creed he's been re-nicknamed Death from Above."

"Don't waste my mother fucking time!"

Vincent: "They dumped all our surveillance?" Cop: "Yeah at the same time, 9pm." Vincent: "I had coffee with McCauley half an hour ago!"

Paulie: "It ain't alright. It's depressing and freakin cold!" Rocky: "What's the matter with you Paulie?" Paulie: "You're living backwards Rocko."

Rocky: "Yo, don't I got some rights?" Court Guy: "What rights do you think you're referring to?" Rocky: "Rights, like an official paper that they wrote down the street there?" Court Guy: "That's the bill of rights." Rocky: "Yeah, yeah the bill of rights. Don't it say something about goin after what makes you happy?"...

Marie: "Well do you have a reservation?" Paulie: "Do I look like a freakin Indian?"

Robert: "You scared? I ain't scared." Rocky: "Oh yeah, you ain't scared of me. Come on, let's see what you got? Come on, ha ha. Hey don't hit me, I'm brittle."

Slick: "You do somebody now big mouth. Do somebody hard, like Coffeecake." Mario: "I can't do coffeecake." Calogero: "Now that's hard." Slick: "Put a screen in front of your while I throw shit at it."

"I did a good thing for a bad man. I didn't understand that, not at nine years old. All I knew was, a rat was the lowest thing anyone could be in my neighborhood and I didn't rat."

"First of all I respect you Lorenzo you're a stand up guy. We're from the same neighborhood. But don't ever talk to me like that again."

Slick: Oh, what the fuck is wrong with you." Mario: "Don't point the gun Nicky." Nicky: "Got it on safety, what am I gonna kill you guys." Slick: "Don't ever do that."

"Step on his fuckin head. Come on, get em outta here. Drag em the fuck out!"

Lorenzo: "What happen with my son?" Sonny: "Go drive your bus and get the fuck outta here. Put your hands on me, I'll stick you in the fuckin ground."

"I kept hearin my father's voice in my head, don't blow it son. These people will hurt you son. Don't waste your talent son."

Calogero: "Don't you trust anybody?" Sonny: "No." Calogero: "It's a horrible way to live." Sonny: "For me it's the only way."

Calogero: "Do you know how to make sauce?" Jane: "What?" Calogero: "You know, sauce for macaroni?"

Marty: "You want me to say that I'm sorry? Is that what you want? Okay, I'm..." Alex: "Shh!" Marty: "He just shushed me." Gloria: "Marty, look, you've got to be just a little bit more und..." Alex: "Shh!" Marty: "Don't you shush me."

Melman: "Hey, the bozos have the people." Alex: "Oh, well, great. Good, phew." Julien: "They're up there. Don't you love the people? Not a very lively bunch, though." Alex: "Oh, wow. So do you have any live people?" Julien: "Uh, no. Only dead ones."

Julien: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Melman: "Who built a forest?" Julien: "Don't be alarmed, giant freaks!"

"Dude, I can't take you seriously in that hat."

"No. Everyone will tell you to let it go and move on. But don't. Instead let it fester and boil inside of you. Take these feelings and lock them away. Let it fuel your actions. Let hate be your ally. And you will be capable of wonderful horrible things. Heed my words Goob, don't let it go."

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "Do not leave Europe!" Yuri: "But we have matches in Asia." Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "All right. Do not leave Europe or Asia!" Yuri: "And we also have a match in Brazil." Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "Do not leave Europe, Asia, or the Americas!"

"To download your new cell phone ringtone. Press the button that says download. I take the mouse and click, but do not drag, the button that says download."

Clouseau: "Hit it Ponton. What?" Ponton: "Nothing." Clouseau: "You didn't say, stop the car. Dear God, I beg of you, stop the car."

Marty: "So... do we have a heading?" Jack: "Ha. A heading. Set sail in a... uh... general... that-way direction."

Marty: "It's a key." Jack: "No. Much more better. It is a drawing of a key."

"Don't eat me."

Ragetti: "Well, I say it was Divine Providence what escaped us from jail." Pintel: "And I say it was me being clever. Ain't that right, poochie?" Ragetti: "Well, how'd you know it weren't Divine Providence what inspired you to be clever?"

"Down on your marrow bones and pray!"

"Guard the boat. Mind the tide. Don't touch my dirt."

Marty: "Did we kill it?" Gibbs: "No, we just made it angry."

"Damn you, Jack Sparrow!"

Gazzo's Driver: "Did you get the license number?" Rocky: "Of what?" Gazzo's Driver: "The truck than ran over your face!"

"Look at these birds. Don't these birds look candy? You know. Like flyin candy. Hey bird you wanna fly me home?"

Mick: "Down, down, stay down!" Announcer: "Pallo dancing around with his arms in the air."

"I wish they all could... Hey, hey, hey, hey. That was my CD! Don't you ever touch a Chinese man's CD."

Lee: "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?" Carter: "Don't nobody understand the words that are coming out of your mouth man."

"Everything stays on the table. Don't nobody touch that table. You understand?"

Mary Jane: "Don't make me look ugly." Peter Parker: "That's impossible."

Ben Parker: "I don't mean to lecture and I don't mean to preach, and I know I'm not your father." Peter Parker: "Then stop pretending to be."

V: "It gets me every time." Evey: "Never seen it." V: "Really? Would you like to?" Evey: "Does it have a happy ending?" V: "As only celluloid can deliver."

"The security of this nation depends on complete and total compliance. Tonight, any protestor, any instigator or agitator will be made example of!"

V: "You made me understand that I was wrong, that the choice to pull this lever is not mine to make." Evey: "Why?" V: "Because this world, the world that I'm a part of and that I helped shape, will end tonight. And tomorrow, a different world will begin that different people will shape, and this choice belongs to th...

"Tell me, do you like music, Mr. Finch?"

Reggie Dunlop: "Hey McCracken." Tim McCracken: "Dunlop, you suck cock." Reggie Dunlop: "All I can get."

"Don't let yourself get attatched to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."

"I went to daycare in a pool hall."

Sarah: "I drank way too much, and before I knew it we… Tuzzled." Lauren: "You bad girl!"

"Daddy got the big suite! Yeah he did!"

"Now, fight your deep urge to be cheap, and give the bell boy a large tip."

Sarah: "I don't mean to be rude." Peter: "You couldn't be rude if you tried."

"I can deal with you being cheap, and I can deal with you being a shitty driver; I cannot deal with you being a liar."

Tom: "I hope Peter used one though." Sarah: "Oh they don't sell condoms that big."

Daniel: "Hey, you got a name?" Ali: "Ali with an I. Hey what's your name?" Daniel: "Daniel, with an L."

Daniel: "Did you fix my bike?" Mr. Miyagi: "Aye."

Daniel: "How did you do that? How did you do that?" Mr. Miyagi: "Don't know. First time!"

Mr. Miyagi: "Oh Danielson, you all wet behind the ear! Ha ha ha ha." Daniel: "What are you crazy? You're crazy!"

"Danielson, secret to punch, make power whole body. Fit inside one inch."

"Don't know, first time you, first time me."

"Danielson, remember you defense, points come, concentrate, focus, power. Remember balance! Make good fight."

There's nothing I love more than a dumb blonde with Daddy's plastic.

Now don't be scared. Everyone will love you.

Uh my name is David Kidney. I have a masters in Russian literature, a PhD in biochemistry, and for the last 18 months, I've been, uh, deworming orphans in Somalia.

I changed my mind. I'd pick the dangerous one, because I'm not afraid of a challenge.

Elle: "Don't ask." Emmett: "Wasn't gonna."

Emmett: "Now you discriminate against brunettes?" Elle: "Why shouldn't I? I'm discriminated against as a blonde!"

"You've got dirt on your nose, by the way. Did you know? Just there."

"I, uh, don't really remember. Took a bludger to the head two minutes in. Woke up in the hospital a week later."

"It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest and most desperate desires of our hearts."

"I just hope you realize how fortunate you are. Not many first year students could take on a fully grown mountain troll and live to tell the tale. Five points will be awarded to each of you, for sheer dumb luck!"

"Who's the one wizard Voldemort always feared? Dumbledore. As long as Dumbledore's around, Harry, you're safe. As long as Dumbledore's around, you can't be touched."

Hermione: "Stop moving, both of you! This is Devil's Snare. You have to relax! If you don't, it'll only kill you faster!" Ron: "Kill us faster? Oh, now I can relax!"

"I don't like this. I don't like this at all."

"Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free."

"Full of dark corners, for doing dark deeds."

"Unfortunately, she cannot speak French. Just like you."

"Almost finished? What else can there be? You gonna dip it in yogurt? Cover it in chocolate buttons?"

"Listen, this favor, if you don't do it it's really not that great. I mean, not for you, and to be honest, not for me."

Vinnie: "Just doing my job." (Squirming sound) Michael: "Yes."

"This unusual painting is titled 'Die Piggy Piggy Die Die.'"

Jane: "To dodging bullets." John: "To dodging bullets."

I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars.

John: "I didn't go to MIT." Jane: "Really?" John: "Notre Dame, art history major." Jane: "Art?" John: "History. It's reputable."

I like it. Deal with it.

John: "Are you outta your mind? What is wrong with you?" Jane: "You're what's wrong with me." John: "It was a drunk in Vegas thing." Jane: "Oh that's better, that's much better. That's great."

"Looks like you were dirty dancing with Barney."

John: "I didn't touch a thing." Jane: "Yes you did."

"Today's lesson, how to draw out the bluff. That much money this early in the game, I'm saying he's holding nothing better than a pair of face cards."

Rusty: "Munitions…" Danny: "Phil Turentine." Rusty: "Dead." Danny: "No shit? On the job?" Rusty: "Skin cancer." Danny: "You send flowers?" Rusty: "Dated his wife for a while."

"I don't do drugs, alright! I stopped doing drugs when I was 14."

Vivian: "What do you want?" Edward: "What do you do?" Vivian: "Everything. But I don't kiss on the mouth." Edward: "Neither do I."

"Don't play with me young lady."

Pour it over here please. He doesn't know anything about wine.

Does it freak you out for me to ask you that?

Steve: "No the interns get glocks?" Anne-Marie: "No, they all share one."

Don't say that. Even if it's true, don't say that. It's too painful.

Dictated, not read.

Please don't make fun of me. I just wanted to flirt with you.

Do you all not like me anymore? I mean… What am I supposed to do? I don't know.