"Yes, yes, oh yeah, can you feel that buddy, huh, huh, huh?"
"We spend two hundred and fifty billion dollars a year on defense, and here we are, the fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun!"
"Fortune smiles. Another day of wine and roses. Or, in your case, beer and pizza. Hah!"
"A gaggle, a swarm, a flock of freakin' Freuds!"
"I'm flattered. Not every girl makes a superhero's night table."
"How about a Freska?"
"I've fallen for you like a blind roofer."
"Frankly, I don't give a shit- I'm only in this for the money."
"First, I guess you need to know something bout...them, the beautiful ones, the flawless four. Everyone wanted to be them. You know 'em, they went to your school too. They totally ruled."
Riggs: "There's no bomb in there." Murtaugh: "How can you be sure of that?" Riggs: "Well, because…it's a full moon!" Murtaugh: "Moon, lunar, lunatics, they're everywhere!"
Riggs: "Let's do what one shepherd said to the other shepherd." Murtaugh: "What?" Riggs: "Let's get the flock outta here!"
"It was playing the Covenant School, a private Christian Academy that today formally apologized for running up the score, both in person and on the school's website."
Sawyer: "I'll take that as a yes Frogurt." Neil: "It's Neil." Sawyer: "Yeah, yeah."
"You will reflect that the governor has failed to appear or to answer the article of impeachment either in person or by counsel."
Arthur: "Look you you stupid bastard you got no arms left." Black Knight: "Yes I have." Arthur: "Look" Black Knight: "Just a flesh wound"
Aramis: "Forgiveness." Porthos: "Forgiveness? Forgive me, I am forgiven?"
Dr. Russell: "It's uh, something that I'm working on…a formula for creating energy." Simon: "That you carry around in your underwear?" Dr. Russell: "Heh, uh, yeah."
Simon: "You found me." Dr. Russell: "Wasn't very hard. Two men with saint's names flew into Moscow yesterday. Udora Bonkenjas, a short, bald African, whereas Vincent Ferrer…" Simon: "Named for a saint who betrayed his best friend."
"Friends! Countrymen! Russians!"
Simon: "I'm here to do an interview with that Dr. Russell. I'm gonna expose her as a fraud. You don't put any stock in this cold fusion mumbo-jumbo do ya?" Dr. Russell: "Actually I do."
"If you forget one thing, I will have you shaved, sterilized and destroyed!"
"Oh very funny."
Lloyd Christmas: "Why ya goin' to the airport? Flyin' somewhere?" Mary Swanson: "How'd you guess?" Lloyd: "Well, I saw your luggage, and when I saw the airline ticket I put two and two together."
Harry: "Where are we gonna go?" Lloyd: "...I'm talking about a little place called Aspen." Harry: "I dunno Lloyd, the French are assholes."
Harry: "Do, you got fired again, huh?" Lloyd: "Oh, yea. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident. You know.."
"According to the map we've only gone about four inches. You know I don't think we have enough gas money."
Riggs: "Flied lice?" Uncle Benny: "Flied lice! It is fried rice, you plick!"
"I had this pet frog, his name was Froggy. He was my best friend in the whole world."
Riggs: "Have I ever made your womanhood reach peaks that would rival the highest Himalayas?" Lorna: "Foothills of Malibu, maybe."
Jane: "Hi Mr. Reede! Like the new dress?" Fletcher: "Whatever takes the focus off of your head!"
Coach "Duke" Temple: "This team has completely lost its focus." Dorn: "Do you think April is too early for a Roger Dorn night?" Coach: "Aaawww...."
Jake Taylor: "You okay, Pedro?" Pedro Cerrano: "Okay? I'm free and clear!" Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn: "Did he say free and queer?" Cerrano: "CLEAR! Free of anger and hostility that run Cerrano's life!"
"My God! Good news, fans! The Indians are showing signs of life for the first time in weeks! As a matter of fact, they appear to be beating the crap out of each other! It looks like Willie Hayes is trying to hit Rick Vaughn. And why not? Everybody else in the league does. Hayes swings and misses! I don't know, Monty...
"What the hell was that you little freckle-faced cartoon?"
"If you don't answer me when I speak to you I'm gonna put my foot in your ass!"
"Fee Fi Foo Fum, what beanstalk did you fall from?"
"So Merry Christmas children. Do you know what? Pain a Tau is coming and he is going to feast on all your toes."
"Just call 'em how I see 'em freckles."
"Look around us Freckles."
"Well hunker down I got to grab frenchie and the kids."
"It's called the freedom of information act."
"You like the freaky stuff huh."
"Real freaky naughty."
"Would you move to Minnesota so we can get married there the first chance we get."
"I follow my own heart, that's religion enough for me."
"Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, etc........La, la, la, la, la, la." (Singing)
"I'm a busy girl. I've got exactly four days to break up a wedding, steal the bride's fella, and I haven't one clue how to do it."
Caleb Colton: "Something I been meaning to ask you."Jesse: "Yeah, what might that be?"Caleb: "How old are you?"Jesse: "Let's put it this way, I fought for the south."
"Indy, why does the floor move?"
Marian: "How the hell are we gonna get out of here?" Indy: "I'm working on it. I'm working on it" Marian: "Well, whatever you're doing, do it faster!"
Prophet #1: "There is a war going on, between Angels of light and dark, over your soul, Dr. Lane." Gillen Lane: "What are you talking about?" Prophet #2: "The Four Horses of the Apocalypse. They are the visions!" Gillen Lane: "No! They're not real! They're in here! (points to his head) Maybe you are too!" Prophet...
Scientist (in Russian): "Amazing! Um, the final part of the code is missing... As is the last page of his notes. The program still works but..." Mystery man (in Russian): "The two men from the alley. We must find them."
Gillen Lane: "You stole Rostenberg's program! You've been following the code like a script! Blowing up the Dome! The synagogue!" Stone Alexander: "Yes, and look what good we did, Gillan! How many people you and I've helped! How many lives we've saved! Think of all that we've accomplished... together!"
Prophet #2: "It is written... In the last days, a world leader will rise up, rebuild Solomon's Temple, and usher in 3 1/2 years of world peace, under a new Roman Empire." Prophet #1: "Then, possessed by Satan, he'll declair himself God, and embark on a reign of terror, until the Lord comes and destroys him. The fin...
Clark Wilhelm Griswold, J5.: "What can I do with 5 dollars?" Blackjack Dealer: "Gee, I don't know. Buy a bullet and rent a gun? Hahaha!"
"Feeling lucky tonight, Sparky?"
"Ok, who was thoughtless enough to put food on the kitchen table?"
"Funny fucker, aren't ya?"
Radio Tower: "Gilbert 1, you are not cleared for takeoff." William: "Nobody on this aircraft give a flying fuck hahaha get it, flying fuck hahaha. Take off, I'm here all week."
"He's a fountain of misplaced rage. Name your cliche; Mother held him too much or not enough, last pick at kickball, late night sneaky uncle, whatever. Now he's so angry moments of levity actually cause him pain; gives him headaches. Happiness for that gentleman hurts."
"You are fined one credit for a violation of the verbal morality statute."
John: "You're supposed to be smoking filtered cigarettes, Pop!" Grandpa: "Yeah, well, I'm 94 years old! What the hell do I care, huh?"
Max: "Pain, he wants to talk about pain? I had a gallstone the size of a baseball!" John: "Oh, gallstones! Yeah, gallstones are for pussies! When I had the shingles, did you see me in here complaining to Phil about it? Huh? Did you?" Max: "Shingles, schmingles...when I had my uclers, I was farting razor blades!"
Dr. Jones: "I didn't know you could fly a plane." Indy: "Fly yes…land no."
"Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory."
"Just think about it, you guys, I'm the future of America. Stone me on!"
(While stringing Delores) "Now I get the impression you don't like me. Ah now don't bother to deny it, you really don't like me do ya? Auugh, first dates are always the hardest!"
"You know, the female mantis, after she has sex with her mate, she eats him."
"I thought you were trying to french kiss me!"
Feminist #2: "You went out with a white male?" Samantha: "I was a freshman!" Feminist #1: "Fresh-PERSON! Please!"
"Check this out. Bennie still paid for a big expensive broker. Well he's a friend of my fathers."
"El creador of his own fortuna."
"Foot! I got him you guys."
"Ready, roll. Men can take anything. I'm good. Except the taste of diet cola until now. Pepsi Max, the first diet cola for men."
"This Tuesday from 6 am to 2 Denny's is giving a free Grand Slam to everyone in America. Seriously."
"Being a hero is coming. Answer: at the one place where you can all feel superhuman again. Universal Orlando Resort. Visit UniversalHeroes.com for a free 7 day ticket."
"And when the heat is on, failure is not an option."
Man 1: "Hey man what's that?" Man 2: "It's my crystal ball." Man 1: "It looks like a snow globe." Man 2: "Nuh uh it's real. Here watch. Free Doritos at the office today…I think that's a yes."
Man: "You always had a hard time finding your place in this world." James T. Kirk: "Why are you talking to me man."
Man 1: "Hey Diane, these flowers came for you." Man 2: "Ooo flowers for Diane." Woman: "I never get flowers."
"Go home to your romance novels and your fat smelly cat."
"I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself can find a little action."
"I'm feelin' a little anxious, if ya know what I mean."
"What we got here is a failure to communicate." (gunshot follows)
"My father was a mechanic. His father was a mechanic. My mother's father was a mechanic. My 3 brothers are mechanics. Four uncles on my father's side are mechanics."
"Follow the yellow brick road."
"Follow the yellow brick road."
"Franks and beans! Franks and beans!"
"Oh my god.. he doesn't flog the dolphin before going out on a date. Are you crazy? That's like going out there with a loaded gun."
"I'm what you might call the founder of the feast."
Fuck you! I'm just tryin to fuckin help you - you understand me?!
"Walter, what are you doing? –I'm dosing a caterpillar. –Dosing? As in LSD? –Well, it's a special blend. –I see. Hey, guess what just happened. –Hmm? –Finding out that my father's giving drugs to bugs somehow just became a typical moment in my life. –It's wonderful, isn't it?"
Fist kiss? Disgusting!
"That was a fierce battle we had last night."
"Great, maybe they got a flight outta here to Vegas."
Smoke’s Dad: “Hello.” Smoke: “What’s up? What’s up pops?” Smoke’s Dad: “Hey were you at?” Smoke: “I’m in New York. I got to holla at you about something man. Brace yourself. I talked to Ciara today right. She asked me for a bag of weed. Who sells the weed? I was like are you serious? She was like yeah, I want to kno...
Fallout Boy: “I’m looking for particular CD.” Record Breakers: “What CD?” Fallout Boy: “It’s this band they’re out right now. They have like a horse in the video or something like a horse guy in the video. I’m going down town. Do you know what I’m talking about? They’re from Chicago.” Record Breakers: “It’s Fallout...
"When I felt, heard and smelled the evidence of them going into the engines. I heard the noises, I felt the engine vibrations of the damage being done to the engines and I smelled what I described at the time as burnt bird smell being brought from the engine air to the conditioning system of the airplane."
"The physiological reaction I had for this was strong and I had to force myself to use my training and force calm on the situation."
"And I felt very comforted by that. I knew immediately that they were on the same page. That if I could land the airplane that they could get them out safely."
"I remember feeling the most intense feeling of relief that I ever felt in my life."
Sheila: “Home Depot, this is Sheila how may I help you?” Frankie J: “Hi Sheila I have a question. Can you help me out with something really quick? My girl has been asking me to buy some wood so I don’t know…she told me to call you guys and ask you guys if you have morning wood.” Sheila: “Okay. What kind of wood do y...
Announcer: "In fact lets compare. Here's Alex Flannagan." Alex: "Hey author F. Scot Fitzgerald wrote there are no second acts in America lives." Announcer: "And here's a robot." Robot: "Hey author F. Scot Fitzgerald wrote there are no second acts in America lives." Announcer: "So far they're both showing about the s...
"Here I go! For the colony, and for oppressed ants everywhere."
"Feel like I'm gonna break this damn thing."
"From now on you will have no identifying marks of any kind."
Well you know me; give me a full ballerina skirt and a hint of saloon and I'm on board.
"I had not come to Hollywood to fight a man dressed a Hitler. I had come to make Pamela Anderson my wife."
"Today, is your most fortunate day."
"You can help me. Forget you ever knew me and never come here again."
"You're getting a free ride on my tail, mate."
"And not surprisingly, she's flaunted the law and traditional morality all her life."
"If this case is handled in the same fast food, slick ass, Persian bazaar manner with which you seem to handle everything else - then something is going to get missed."
"You see Danny, I can deal with the bullets and the bombs and the blood. I don't want money and I don't want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggety white uniform and with your Harvard mouth, extend me some fucking courtesy."
Dusty Rust-eze: "Ladies and gentlemen..." Dusty and Rusty Rust-eze: "...Lightning McQueen!" Car Voice: "Freebird!"
"Fly away, Stanley. Be free!"
"Fuck pillow pants! Honk if you like pussy."
"You don't step on the one. You start on the two. Find the two, you understand?"
Johnny: "Don't put your heel down. Don't put your heel down. Stay on the toe." Baby: "I didn't." Johnny: "The steps aren't enough, feel the music."
Johnny: "What's your real name, Baby?" Baby: "Frances. For the first woman in the cabinet." Johnny: "Frances. That's a real grown up name."
"Tara, what the hell are you d…, put the frog on the table, okay? Go clean out the floxinator or something. Okay people, listen up. Use your thumbs, locate the seminal vessel here, the ejaculatory ducts here. The stroke, stroke it stroke it hard, cup the gonads."
Barry: "what do you think about that, fuck head?" Schlemmer: "What do you think about that, head fuck?"
"Remember when we made fudgecicles out of dog shit and Mark Defanty ate one."
"You shut up! Now... I am fixin' to commensurate this trial here. We gonna see if we can't come up with a verdict up in here."
"I got to feeling like a machine. That's no way to feel."
"...and I'll sue your goddamn ass for false arrest!"
"Last thing I knew about BMW is that they used to make these plane engines when they first started. A man by the name of Franz Pop started it all. Franz Pop, I like that name. He made this one engine before 1920, it flew 6 miles up. Pop and his boys, they were just getting started man. They made this one engine, the...
"Do you know what the absolute best moment is? It's when you finish your first draft. You read it by yourself. Before these assholes take something that they couldn't do in a lifetime and tear it down in a single day."
"Gabriel's horn is finally mine."
"I loved as a friend, but it wasn't true love. We both knew that. Besides, back then they didn't have these fancy birth control methods. Like pullin' out"
"This is Captain Karen Walden. She's the first woman in history to be nominated for a medal of honor."
Pascal: “There was a fingernail in my food! Yesterday, it was a band-aid!” Buckman: “I'm sorry, sir, the band-aid was holding the fingernail on.”
"We don't read and write poetry because its cute, we read and write poetry because we are members of the human race, and the human race is filled with passion."
"When all else fails, fresh tactics."
"Another fine day in paradise."
"For just one moment, forget who you are."
"I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, and when I saw you up there on the balcony, I fell in love with you all over again."
“The French! They hate us, they smoke, they have a whole relationship to dairy products which I don't understand.”
"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."
"Freddy and the Dreamers! Wrong speed, we've got it on the wrong speed. For those of you recovering from a hangover, that's gonna sound just right! Let's put'er right back down, let's try it a little faster and see if that picks it up just a bit. Let's get it up on 78...(mutters really fast) The pilots are all going...
"What is it like not to feel anything?"
Arthur: “Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!” Black Knight: “Yes I have.” Arthur: “Look!” Black Knight: “It's just a flesh wound!”
Bedevere: “What also floats in water?” Villagers: “Bread! ... Apples! ... Very small rocks!”
“I fart in your general direction!”
"The fate of billions will depend upon you, ha ha ha ha, sorry."
"Commence firing, fire at will."
Newton: “Can you believe it's been about five years since I've driven?” Ben: “I would say ten!”
Stan: "Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy?" Chef : "Oh, that's easy! You just gotta find the clitoris!" Stan: "Huh?" Chef : "Whoops!!" Stan: "What does that mean? Find the clitoris?" Chef: "Uh....uh...forget I said anything!!"
"Get lots of sleep. Tomorrow, we will all be risking our lives ... for freedom."
Dave: “Do you have any fun stories to tell us?” Joaquin: “I mean…” Dave: “No, no fun stories?” Joaquin: “I mean I’m sure something fun happened.”
“That’s funny. He’s a funny dude.”
Jack: "Elisa is worth it - and I can fake enthusiasm when I need to." Liz: "Thanks! I found it at Dunkin...wait a minute."
"And then there's the freak of nature Dwight Howard, big man, coming from behind the back board with the ali oop."
"There are some things though, I know for certain. Always throw spilled salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck and fall in love-whenever you can."
Janet Weiss: "This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad." Brad Majors: "They're probably foriegners with ways different than our own. They may do some more... folk dancing."
Last verse of Over at the Frankenstein Place
"Foul! Foul! Foul!"
Harry: “Bullet never got close, it's just a ricochet!” A.J.: “You know it's all funny until somebody gets shot in the leg!”
Grace: “The first time I got my period Rock had to take me into Taipei for Tampax and then he had to show me how to use 'em, Harry!” Rockhound: “Oh! Uh, no, I told her how to use them, I didn't show her, Harry!"
Pilot: “This is about the sorriest group of people I've seen in all my entire military career! Your space flight's gonna be a brutal assault on your senses. I'm here to give you a taste of that. NASA's got some of the finest pilots in the world. They're gonna be sucking your eyes through the back of your head.” Roc...
Harry: “How you feeling?” A.J.: “Ah, good, you know, considering I've never been this scared in my entire life.”
Harry: “A.J., I got just five words for ya - Damn glad to see ya boy!” A.J.: “That's six words!”
Connie: “Now what do we do?” Pres: “Address the nation. There's gonna be a lot of frightened people out there.” Connie: “Yeah? I'm one of them!”
“The only mistake I ever made was to appoint a sniveling little weasel like you Secretary of Defense. However, that is one mistake, I am thankful to say, that I don't have to live with. Mr. Nimzicki, you're fired!”
Pres: “Let's organize every plane we can find and get us some goddamn pilots to fly 'em.” General: “Yes, Sir!”
Brit1: “It's from the Americans! They want to organize a counter-offensive!” Brit2: “It's about bloody time! What do they plan to do?”
Hiller: “This is our victory dance. But not until the fat lady sings.” David: “Oh. Yes, ok.” Hiller: “This is important!” David: “Fat lady. I gotcha.”
“Must go faster! Must go faster!”
Timon:“Kid, what's eatin' ya?” Pumbaa:“Nothing! He's at the top of the food chain!”
"Oh, I'm a failure because I haven't got a brain!”
Grant: "Are you married?" Ian: "Occasionally. I'm always on the lookout for a future ex-Mrs. Malcom."
"I'm just a figment of your imagination."
K: "…and one dumb kid who got lost on the wrong back road.", J: "Aww, you brought the tall man some flowers!"
J: "Hey, K, have you ever flashy-thinged me?", K: "No.", J: "I ain't playing with you, K, have you ever flashy-thinged me?", K: "No."
"Did you hear what I said? Fuck. Off."
"You English, you think you're so superiour, don't you? Well, you're the filth of the planet! A bunch of pompous, badly dressed, poverty stricken, sexually repressed, football hooligans!"
"We shoud flee in terror. Yes, that would be the wisest course!"
"Does anybody else feel like a fried egg?"
"I trust Locksley's visited his manor and found the home fires still burning?"
"How about this celebrity birthday Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska, today is her birthday. And I'm not saying how old Sarah Palin is but from her house she can see 50."
"When I was a Junior in high school I bench-pressed 310 pounds, today I probably bench-press 240 or 250. Funny enough, I did it because I played football and I was a quarterback and the big challenge was if you bench-pressed over 300 pounds you get to get this Letterman jacket with white sleeves. Since I was poor an...
"I hope I can put this behind me and start focusing on baseball. We have a very special team here."
Stan: "Shut up, fat boy!", Cartman: "I'm not fat, I'm festively plump!"