Oh: "Ugh." Zed: "That kid has got an arm." Oh: "There's two of us."
"Hi Eema. Hi Eema. She doesn't even know I exist. There's like 60 people in the village, you really have to go out of your way to not know somebody exists."
Valet: "Here's your car officer." Phil: "Alright everybody act cool. Just get in and go."
"I don't know the answer to that but my sense is no. I honestly don't know if there has been…yeah look if the answer is no from Mark that is quite frankly good enough for me. I think it's important, I didn't do it on accident, we weren't trying to set a record. I think it's important that the Cuban people and the Cu...
"Feeling lost, confused? Have some things you want to get off your chest? Sure there are thousands of products to clean your house, cloths, teeth, hair and everything and anything else. But there is only one way to clean yourself from the inside out. Father Vick here for Soul Wow! You'll be saying wow after partakin...
"Everyone is going to love this."
Tracy: "We feel bad that we but mostly Jenna, gased your bird." Jenna: "I agree, not to name names but it's so sad that a certain black individual found it necessary to trick someone so pretty into believing that you were a murderer."
L: I got some Trix up my sleeve. J: That's my girl. L: No, Trixs the cereal. Some fell up my sleeve, it's sticking to the fibers.
"No Japan will you listen to me for five seconds. If you keep building giant robots the cops are going to ask questions."
Randy: "Alright you guys we got to get rid of Finland." Japan: "Yeah, we got to take out Finland, they're going to squeal."
"Today thousands of Republicans who appose gay marriage got together in public parks for a little teabagging. What the hell is that?"
Waldorf: Ah, what great little actress. Statler: Yup, and getting smaller all the time.
"Hey girls, sick of the boys being the only ones who get to rock out. Well maybe you should try Guitar Hero for Girls. That's right ladies now Guitar Hero has made a game just for you featuring songs by all of your favorite artists like 4 NonBlondes, Jewel, Sarah McLaughlin, Maroon 5, Katy Perry, Tori Amos, Miley Cy...
Marsha: And given the magnitude of those changes I think it’s really important that no suspicion or shadow fall on the foremost advocates of climate change legislation so I wanted to give you the opportunity to kind of clear the air about your motives and maybe set the record straight about some of your former const...
"This is eco incorporated's first product, the green box. A pizza box of the 21st century. Released on US Patent 7051919. Manufactured from 100% recycled and recyclable corrugated cardboard. The top of the green box tears along two perforations and creates 4 serving plates. The bottom of the box breaks down into a c...
"Grand Central Station."
"Now if you ask me. George Jefferson was a sell out, man. Because he thought success was living in a white man's building and disrespecting his African-American employees."
"Gusto! Gusto! Gusto! Gusto! Gusto! Gusto! Gusto! Gusto!"
"By the way I forgot to tell you. Gusto escaped from prison last night and he has vowed to dismember every one of you. Knock 'em dead."
"Nigga was a perpetrator. Gusto and his whole crew weren’t real gangsta rappers. They were as soft as a wet baby's ass. They straight up fakes. They sure weren't no Wacky D."
Michael: "Hey, man? You guys got any universal remote controls in there?" Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: "For a shower curtain or a bath mat?" Michael: "For a television." Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: "Hmm, I don't think so. Maybe for a blanket?" Michael: "You got a remote for a blanket?"
"Go, little me, go!"
Alice: "Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt but, um, this is kind of important." Michael: "Okay. (She gives him a note) Go to the bathroom!"
Sophie: "I'm going to the party." Alex: "You are not going to the party. You, young lady, are grounded. You're grounded. Come back here."
Sophie: "Life isn't a fairytale, and I have to grow up, and I'm going to do that in Florida." Alex: "That's just ridiculous. No one grows up in Florida, unless they're an orange."
Robin: "Could you get me a cup of coffee?" Quinn: "Oh sure, I'll get right on it ma'am."
Can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.
I'll have a Grey Goose martini, two olives, dirty.
Well well well if it isn't the two groomsmen of the apocalypse.
Earl: "Wish me luck." Pearl: "Go get them yankees."
Jake: "The girl I knew used to be fearless." Melanie: "Girl you knew didn't have a life."
Clint: "I bet she's got a golf watch." Roy: "You got a golf watch?" Molly: "Yeah, I think I got a pretty good one."
"Or to gather the guys up and lay bets on which crow's gonna fall off the fence next."
"With most women I'm thinking how to get into their pants from day one, but with you, I'm just thinking about how to get into your heart."
Roy: "I got the shanks." Molly: "Well are you taking penicillin?" Roy: "There is a glitch in my swing."
Felix: "GN?" Oscar: "Good night."
Johnny Miller: "Hey partner. The guys down the line are a little concerned about that. What's your name? Tin Cup?" Romeo: "Yeah, Roy McAvoy. West Texas." Johnny Miller: "Why don't you try aiming a little left?" Roy: "Why don't you try backing up and giving me just a little room?"
"I grew up in a tough neighborhood, and we used to say that you can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word."
"Everyone's watching, to see what you will do. Everyone's looking at you."
Get your ass outta here boy!
Although I have, on occasion, got myself busted.
Oscar: "I think I know where we are." Felix: "Oh you do, huh? Where?" Oscar: "In a Clint Eastwood movie." Felix: "The good, the bad, and the stupid, huh?"
Ed: "It's a couple of little jumps from a plane." Mitch: "And then what? We go on safari, only the animals have guns and they hunt us."
"Good job, cowboy."
"Lord, we give you Curly. Try not to piss him off."
"Great gobs of goose shit!"
Mitch: "Can't I open my present now" Barbara: "Tonight!" Mitch: "But look, the little man wants to go to the parade."
"Gays in the military, your thoughts? Well we'll be back after these commercial breaks."
"We're having a great time. I almost got killed today."
"Get out of here ya dego bastard! Go on, get your ass out of here!"
Vivian: "It looks like you're going to a funeral." Johnny: "Maybe I am."
Get a rhythm…when you get the blues.
Johnny: "I've got arms." June: "And I've got arms." Together: "Let's get together and use those arms." June: "Let's go. Time's a-wastin'."
Bruce: "Be careful who sees you with that. They're gonna come looking for me." Homeless Man: "Who?" Bruce: "Everyone."
"Gotham must be destroyed."
"Drugs, prints, cargo manifests. This bat character gave us everything."
"I've gotta get me one of those."
"Go, Flash, go! Go, Flash, go!"
"I call upon the great god Dyzan. And for his greater glory, and our mutual pleasure I destroy it utterly."
"Many brave men died to bring it here from the Galaxy of Pleasure. It will make your nights with Ming more agreeable."
Duke: "The hell are you starin' at?" Mitch: "Curly's twin. I can't get over it." Duke: "Well get over it, or I'll turn you into twins."
"I'm gonna give you a sedative. You'll wake up back at home. When you do, get these to Gordon, and Gordon alone. Trust no one."
Alfred: "You're getting lost inside this monster of yours." Bruce: "I'm using this monster to help other people, just like my father did."
"Gotham isn't beyond saving. Give me more time. There are good people here."
"When I found you in that jail, you were lost. But I believed in you. I took away your fear, and I showed you a path. You were my greatest student. It should be you standing by my side, saving the world."
"Guards, halt. Prisoners, follow me."
"Oh, look. Another glorious morning. It makes me sick!"
Flash: "Save them for our kids." Dale: "Oh, I accept." Voltan: "Enough!" Dale: "Would you leave us alone! l just got engaged."
"We appoint Vultan General of our armies."
Bus Driver: "Hey, hey, cupcake, don't I get your phone number? Your area code? You want my route schedule?" Sarah: "Oh, thou wouldst hate me in the morning." Bus Driver: "No, I wouldn’t." Winnie: "Oh, believe me, thou wouldst." Bus Driver: "Party pooper."
"Come on, got me a marlin, yeah, huuu."
"Cops caught me in the first act it's all backwards what's with that. So I'll make a prophecy from the dogs to the Mini Me, gimme an Escalade a two-way bling thing on Ebay."
"I know guys on crack that makes more sense than you!"
Billy: "Go to hell!" Winnie: "Oh, I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely."
"Ah Jesus Christ! This diaper's making my nuts rub together. It's gonna start a fire!"
Austin: "Oh please I'm not gonna let Goldmember get away." Foxxy: "Austin, Goldmember's getting away." Austin: "Ah."
Sadie: "You know what I did the other day?" Alison: "What?" Sadie: "I googled murder."
Sadie: "I wanna hear Rent." Charlotte: "I want to hear Green Day." Sadie: "No, we're listening to Rent." Charlotte: "I wanna listen to Green Day."
"Is it a rash or is it the chicken pox. I don't know, Google it."
"Sam, get to the building, move!"
"Give me the cube, boy!"
Nurse: "Your baby wants you to gain a whole mess of weight." Alison: "Are you fucking kidding me."
"You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother. Gaybe Ruth."
Alison: "God, just do it already." Ben: "Ok."
"Oh, boy, you gotta admit that was fun!"
Oh my God she's going to murder me!
"Fuck you, fuckin' queers. Fucking firemen gettin' pussy for the first time in the history of fire or pussy. Go save a cat from a tree, you fucking homos."
"You said there is one, right? I base most of what I do on the idea that you're pretty fucking good a what you do."
Queenan: "We deal in deception here, What we do not deal in is self-deception. Five years from now you can be anything else in the world, but you will not be a Massachusetts state trooper." Costigan: "Are you sure about that?" Dignam: "Guaren-fucking-teed."
" The point I'm making here Bill, I got this rat. This gnawing cheese eating rat. And it brings up questions, like, Bill, you're the new guy, no girlfriend, why didn't you stay in the bar the night I got your numbers."
[After being shot in the knee] "I thought you were supposed to go into shock! I'm not in shock! It fuckin hurts!"
"Get rid of the fucking tail!"
Yes. She explained every detail of her decision making. And then we brushed each other's hair and gabbed about American Idol.
Guard this with your life.
I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.
By all means move at a glacial pace you know how that thrills me.
I see a great deal of myself in you.
"You're a good man Charlie Brown."
Greenzo: "Greenzo, saving the earth while maintaining profitability." Jack: "That's right Jared, Greenzo is America's first non-judgmental business friendly environmental advocate."
Meredith: "What else can kids and parents do to protect the environment." Greenzo: "Well kids, you can tell your parents to buy a GE front loading washing machine to save water. Cause if the earth's not here, where else is Greenzo gonna dance."
Jared: "Hey kids, can you hold your breath. Good. Now do it forever cause the air is gonna be poison unless we switch to green technology." Jack: "Sold by our company. I love this guy."
"Oh, I'd like to sit in and give notes. Make sure its got that Greenzo voice. It's rye and wise but also very sexual."
Jack: "He sent me a personal card congratulating me with a real signature." Liz: "Wow, if he licked the envelope you could clone him and then you'd have two Geiss'." Jack: "Yeah, right Lemon. I'm gonna clone Geiss and compete with the Geiss clone for the CEO position. Think it through."
"Oh, hey, could you come home early tonight? Paula wants to get caught again."
Frank: "The girl from Heroes is gonna take a shower." Jack: "Oh wow."
"Al we're with you on this whole planet thing. I mean look at the set we built with the smiley face earth and some green things."
"Oh boy, okay. This earth is ruined. We got to get a new one."
Liz: "Does Jerry Seinfeld know you're doing this?" Jack: "Jerry's in Europe with his family right now but by the time he gets back SeinfeldVision will be a monster hit. And his kids will go to school and their friends will say I really loved your dad in that episode of Medium last night and he's gonna love it."
Tracy: "Kenneth Parcell, will you take this ring... and sell it in the Jewish part of Midtown, then use the money to get us a Nintendo Wii?" Kenneth: "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"
Kenneth: "Ok, fine. I went with you to your black vampire movie, but I guess I'll just tell my friends you have migraine." Tracy: "Great compromise office-wife."
"Liz Lemon, I need you to go to my house and pretend you're doing a survey for the RAFA group and then ask my wife if she's sleeping with D.L. Hughley."
Jack: "How about you come with me to a big party in Connecticut, and meet Don Geiss." Tracy: "Is that the gay guy from Project Runway?" Jack: "No, he's the CEO of this corporation. The big man." Tracy: "The dude from my cheques?"
Jack: "Have you read the interview with Don Geiss in this month's issue of Yachting Illustrated?" Liz: "Uh, no, I subscribe to Giant Boats."
Jenna: "I can't be on television looking like I just had a baby or something." Leo: "Now this right here is why I got in to medicine."
"I like your top. I'm a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways."
"Yeah you should come. It’s gonna be a whole day of team sports and beer. Get the ole heart rate up. Maybe pound a cheeseburger in the sun, throw some butter on it. You're gonna love it!"
"Because people recognize me and I get off on it."
"Like it or not, guys like Geiss run everything including movie studios and we could be playing golf with him right now instead of Ted, who's best known for getting caught using a corporate credit card at a gay strip club. Sorry Amanda, you were bound to find out eventually."
"This grilled cheese has mayonnaise in it. What!"
Ridikolus: "You tell Tracy Jordan that Ridikolus…" Kenneth: "Is gonna eat his family."
"Grains and cereals are an important…line? Dammit! Son of a bitch!"
"I am gonna get back at them, using my sexuality."
Josh: "When Gaybraham Lincoln gets it in the crotch, can I go cross-eyed?" Liz: "Oh yes, do that, that's hilarious."
"It's like this Pete. I love my wife, I love her, we're a team. That's why eight times a week I go to the strip club, gives me energy which I bring back to her."
Angie: "I let Tracy back in my life on two conditions. One, this." Liz: "Bling, bling that is ghetto fabulous."
Kenneth: "Do you remember the movie Footloose when those evil kids won in the end? You're going to make a mistake tonight." Tracy: "You're gonna make a mistake tonight!"
Tracy: "Hey everybody, I'm back from doing whatever Liz Lemon said." Angie: "And what was that exactly?" Tracy: "My cobra, Ramsey, he had got sick so I took him to the vet. Then my thumb got caught in my butt so I nodded my head until it came out."
Angie: "Everything goes through me now." Tracy: "Good bye forever Liz Lemon. Thank you for being my secretary."
Devon: "What team do you play for?" Kenneth: "Oh it's not really a team. It's just a bunch of guys who love doing gymnastics." Devon: "You know, I'm gonna be in town for a little while, maybe we could get together." Kenneth: "My you're friendly."
"Lemon, you're gonna get hit in the face and it's gonna hurt like hell. You wanna lean in to take away their momentum. Hands up, come on."
Toofer: "Jefferson? Not possible." Tracy: "Yeah that's a white dude." Frank: "Yeah but that guy was into black chicks. I'm surprised I'm not a descendant."
Dr. Spaceman: "These DNA results show that genetically you're mostly white." Tracy: "That's ridiculous. I can't be white. My whole persona's based on a in depth analysis of the differences between black and white."
"Attention all. It is with great pleasure I would like to announce the recipient of this years prestigious GE Followship Award is none other than our very own Liz Lemon."
Kenneth: "Well I got your nose." Ridikolus: "J, go get my nose back."
Liz: "That's not fair, Josh gets a lot of fan mail for Gaybraham Lincoln." Josh: "Four score and seven beers ago."
"Hey! What the hell is going on down here! The phones are ringing off the hook, there's no one sitting the Conan audience. Get back to work you morons!"
Alf: "Good morning America how are ya. Don't you know me, I'm your native son. What's the next line?" Willie: "Just be quiet." Alf: "Really? I'm surprised that song was such a big hit. Just be quiet, just be quiet, just be quiet."
Alf: "Grease fire grease fire!" Max: "Oh no, oh no!" Alf: "Never mind the curtains, put me out!"
"The greatest empires were built through war, not peace."
"Get outta my freakin' pool."
Meatwad: "Good mornin' Frylock, how are you doin?" Frylock: "Goodmorning, Meatwad." Meatwad: "This is a good beat, why aren't you dancin'?"
Master Shake: "Oh, Carl. You didn't mess with it did ya? 'Cause it's gotta set up for a couple days with the battery." Carl: "The battery?" Master Shake: "Yeah, ya know? ..the one from your car? I dumped some shampoo in there too, but it's dog shampoo so I don't if it's gonna work, but we're prayin' like hell that i...
Frylock: "Carl, I don't want it. And I'd appreciate it if you'd get off my lawn, too okay?" Carl: "Fryman, don't be that way. Come on, this happens every day! People just don't.. ya know, talk about it this loud."
"I wanted to meet that Captain.. and get sexy with him..or whatever he said."
"All right, now come on hot girls, you know you're in love."
Master Shake: "Whoa, that's cool what's that?" Romulox: "What's it look like dude? It's a grappling hook. Where've you been, man?" Meatwad: "What's wrong with your elbow?" Romulox: "Oh you didn't get that surgery, I'm sorry." Meatwad: "We don't have insurance." Romulox: "Only two people in the world have the easy fl...
"Aww, gee whiz! This is the greatest present I ever had in my whole life that I never wanted, ever!"
Master Shake: "Hey, you fly. Why don't you check the gutters?" Frylock: "Why would it be in the gutters, Shake?" Master Shake: "Well thats where your DVD burner ended up, when it decided not to work." Frylock: "Oh, I damn sure better not find that up there." Master Shake: "Well, thats the last place I remember chuck...
Carl: "Oh God!" Frylock: "Whoa.. I tell you what. Why don't you go next door and use our bathroom?" Carl: "That's just what I wanna do is uh, ya know get nude in your house."
Frylock: "That doesn't tell me why--" Cybernetic Ghost: "I am not finished! You should've gotten a snack!"
"Ohhh, you've got to see this. Get off the computer, come in here."
Frylock: "So..Shake. Did you get those bills paid off?" Master Shake: "Yes, like you wouldn't believe." Frylock: "All of them?" Master Shake: "Every single one of them." Frylock: "Because there were four of them." Master Shake: "I know, I distinctly remember four." Frylock: "A-ha! There were six of them!" Master Sha...
Frylock: "All right, how're we doin'?" Meatwad: "Fine." Master Shake: "No, we're not doing that. My eyes..are thirsty as hell. Who do you think you are?" Frylock: "I'm the only US President to serve 2 non-consecutive terms in the oval office." Master Shake: "Then that would make you Grover Cleveland and-- Why is thi...
Oglethorpe: (Hits Emory with Lamp) Emory: "Ow, damn! You hit me in the chin!" Oglethorpe: "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were a ghoul." Emory: "Well I'm not." Oglethorpe: "Well, it was your own damn fault for making noises like a ghoul." Emory: "Dude, I was flushing the toilet." Oglethorpe: "Ghouls do that...when the...
Meatwad: "Have we always had this tree out there?." Master Shake: "Yes.." Meatwad: "I need to be more observant. My wife's always on my back about it." Master Shake: "Who is talking to you? Will you let us talk? Now get the gasoline, it's blockin' the yard!"
Master Shake: "Umm. Geddy's people said that he was heavily involved in his solo album." Zakk Wilde: "He wouldn't do it, would he?" Master Shake: "Well, of course he would do it if--" Zakk Wilde: "If ya had the money!" Master Shake: "Well, mostly I was dealing with...the maid who answers the phone at his house. But ...
Willie Nelson: "I mean do you guys have a fan..or something? I mean, I'm just gonna borrow it. I'm not gonna keep it." Master Shake: "You are the gayest monster since gay came to Gaytown!" Willie Nelson: "Whoaaa…"
Frylock: "Hey.. Carl.. how you doin' man?" Carl: "Take a look at that." Frylock: "Oohh. Hey, Carl. This is pretty boss man. Where'd you get those graphics done?" Carl: "Thank you, I didn't frickin' do it." Frylock: "Well, then why are you showin' it to me?" Carl: "Someone stole it, raced it, and brought it back!" Fr...
Master Shake: "Let's go!" Frylock: "What're you doin?!" Master Shake: "Yo, DP. This GDI wants to know what I'm doin'. What should I tell him? That we're gonna kick his ass?!"
"Girls like stickers, girls like unicorns, girls like hats a lot. I bought a pink hat because it was pink. Girls like pink. I think girls like sweet stuff."
"I consider myself a good looking guy. I like being big, I like walking into a place and just…people looking at you and all that."
"I'm really afraid to open up and getting myself hurt."
"You have to get this right to stay in the house."
TV: "This is your left, that's your left, this is your left, that's your left! This is your right, that's your right, this is your right. You're gonna' die!" Meatwad: "Dang. This is some good TV."
George Washington: "I have come baring a message. Great Britain sought taxes from the colonies, and they paid for their greed with blood. Now, do you understand the price of avarice?" Master Shake: "Take 'em out." George Washington: "Wait! NO!" (guns fired)
"So why don't you head up there and give them the good news."
Son: "G-g-g-g-g G-Unit!" Dad: "Come on, get in the car. G-g-g-g-g get your ass in the car."
"He said I just did things just to do them. Come on what am I gonna do just all of a sudden just jump up and grind my feet on somebody's couch, like it's, like it's you know something to do. Come on, I got a little more sense than that."
"Yes, Arsenio Hall will get another show. It will be called Good Morning Black America. It will be shown at noon throughout the country."
"What was wild was that, the guy who looked the most like a, like a bitch was getting all the women."
"So they come out and I look at them and they still got on the same shit they be wearin in the club."
"He was getting rebounds like Charles Barkley, smashing it down. "
Charlie Murphy: "I mean you know, there are some great story tellers in the world we live in today man." Prince: "Bitches." Charlie Murphy: "Who the fuck can make up that shit."
"Come and give me some of that Red Balls come on Tyrie come on. Oh oh Red Balls."
"Greetings and salutations fair maidens. I am Sir Eric, a knight in service to my League Ward Baron Felix von Ronhide."
Larry: "You think men want an underwear that has no fly." Glenn: "I know they do. 74% of the men we tested go over the fence." Larry: "Oh they do." Glenn: "Yeah. The rest go through the gate."
Larry: "Guy in a suit, huh?" Jeff: "Makes no sense." Larry: "Stealin papers?" Jeff: "Makes no sense." Larry: "I know."
"Good for them, good for them!"
Nurse: "Both of your blood types are compatible with Mr. Lewis for his kidney transplant." Jeff: "Good night nurse."
Larry: "Listen, I've been doing a lot of thinking, I…I...I really think we should reconsider goin to this, we should just get outta here don't you think?" Cheryl: "No." Larry: "I mean this is crazy to hang around here. What what for?"
"Have the girls gotten hotter around here or is it just me."
Carina: "And listen, if we're still alive afterwards how about we go back to my room." Chuck: "I'm kind of stuck back on the still alive part."
Frank: "What are you gonna do?" Horatio: "I am gonna get to the truth."