Jim: "How can a guy grow up in a circus like that?" Police Chief: "Beats me, Jim…but they do."

Mrs. Carol Stark: "Can't you answer? What's the matter with you, anyhow?" Frank Stark: "He's just loaded, honey."

Judy: "He doesn't like one thing about me. He called me a dirty tramp! My own father!" Police chief: "Do you think your father really means that?" Judy: "Yes! No…I don't know!"

"And hold them."

"Nation how about that Super Bowl. When Springsteen rammed the camera with his mini boss for a second I thought…what are you doing?"

"Seriously man we are fucking done professionally. Though personally I cannot wait to interview him. I'm a huge fan."

"I'm fucking acting here. What kind of fucking professional are you. Have you ever been on a set before!"

Sarah: "You want to be on MTV you have to be sexy." Bobby Bird: "[Inaudible]" Sarah: "The show has to be sexy." Bobby: "Yeah." Sarah: "I think they'd be crazy not to pick up your show."

"Hey how's your news? Would you like to sing our tune. Would you like to chase our…"

"My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark."

Human Resources certainly has an odd sense of humor… Follow me.

Has she died or something?

Hang that up. Don't just fling it anywhere.

And she will want more Starbucks when she gets back. Hot Starbucks.

"But then it look like I am holding a gypsy while he eat my krom."

"Howdy partners."

"I took a bus to Los Angeles with some friends of Mr. Jesus. Finally I had arrived. Happy times."

Major Strasser: "How about New York?" Rick: "Well there are certain sections of New Yor, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade." Major Strasser: "Uh huh."

Captain Renault: "I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here." Emile: "Your winnings, sir." Captain Renault: "Thank you very much."

"Hi Cutie Pie"

Weiss:"Sure glad we took care of Sub Zero!", Ben Richards:"He was a pain in the neck!"

"Hard decisions call for hard solutions."

"I'd just hate to see you get cancelled tonight when you could go the distance."

"He smells blood and nothing on Earth is going to stop him!"

West:"Would you like to sit down?", Galloway:"I'm fine sir.", West:"Have a seat.", Galloway:"Ok."

"He is dead because he had no honor - and God was watching."

"He eats breakfast 300 yards away from 4000 Cubans that are trained to kill him."

"Your father and I used him three times in twenty years, only when things got totally fucked. Whenever we needed one of our own bumped off, we called this guy in. He had a thing for clipping wiseguys, but only one rule: No women, no kids. Believe me, kid, you don't want this guy unless you are one hundred percent su...

"Hot snot, we are back in business!"

"Be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form... and fuck it. People would be like, 'There he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once'."

Teen #2: "Is that a fucking Bible?" Jay: "Hey hey, the HOLY fucking Bible, son."

"Him is so cute! Him thinkin' again, huh?"

"Now I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that when you two aren't arguing who shot first, Han or Greedo, you can muster up some energy to make fun of other people."

"Before he was the Mad Ducats guy, he was just Pickle Fucker. See, freshman year, the seniors put us through what they called 'initiations.' They'd stuff us into lockers or throw us naked into the girl's locker room, but Lance here got the worst of it. The seniors pulled his pants down, shoved a pickle up his ass, a...

Randal: "Jail cell design hasn't changed much in centuries has it? They can bring in lasers bars or something." Jay: "Or they could make a hard plastic cage like in X-Men 2."

"Now remember he's the boss on the dance floor, if no where else."

"Gu guh, gu guh. Close your eyes."

Baby: "Have you had many women?" Johnny: "What?" Baby: "Have you HAD many women?" Johnny: "No, No."

Lisa Houseman: "I've decided to go all the way with Robbie." Baby: "No, Lisa, not with someone like him." Lisa Houseman: "Do you think if we came back for a ten-year anniversary, it would be free?" Baby: "It's just wrong this way. It should be with someone... someone that you sort of love." Lisa Houseman: "Come on. ...

"Little wimp. He wouldn't know a new idea if it hit him in the pachenga…"

"Hey there girlfriend. If you wanna chance, you're gonna have to earn it."

Landfill: "I haven't seen you guys since…" Todd Wolfhouse: "Hands Across America." Jan Wolfhouse: "That's we were just saying. We almost made it." Landfill: "Couple breaks in the chain." Together: "Hands Across Ameri-CA!"

"I hate you, Badrinath."

"Hold on."

"Hey, how's it hang, ese?"

"You're great fighter, but you've been retired for nearly five years, don't you think it's time to start thinking about something else? I mean, how much can you take?"

Nicoli: "Drago should not even fight this man cause he is a has been." Apollo: "You get that big chump in the ring right now."

Lt. Androzzi: "Have a chair, John". Shaft: "I don't like your chair."

"Never would have guessed this is how I was gonna die."

Batman: "How much do you weigh?" Vicki Vale: "About a 108 I think."

"How the hell did this happen? How the HELL did they get Airforce One?!"

"Horror, the horror."

"Do you have any control over how creepy you allow yourself to get?"

Harry: ""You know you're crazy if you think you've heard the last of this guy. He's gonna kill again!" Character 1: "How do you know?" Harry: "Cause he likes it."

Chief: "I'm putting somebody with you." Harry: "What are you talking about?" Chief : "You need a partner." Harry: "What's the matter with the partner I've got?" Chief : "Nothing, except he's in a hospital." Harry: "So, he'll be out in a couple weeks." Chief: "Say hello to Chico Gonzalas, he'll be working with you." ...

“Human tales? Humans don't have tales, they have big, big bottoms that they wear with bad shorts!”

Krysta: "Oh father do you think its possible? Could humans still exist?" Christa's Father: "Now Christa, don't you think your a little old to believe in humantails?" Batty Koda: "Humantails? Humans don't have tails. They have big big bottoms that they wear with bad shorts. They walk around going "Hi Helen."

"You don't have to be brilliant, or witty or clever, or, or, polite even, you just have to be honest."

"Hey Ese!"

"Police! Everyone hit the ground."

Cronauer: "Now, here's the weather, we're going to go right to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt. Roosevelt, how's it goin'? Cronauer as Roosevelt: "Adrian, I'm with somebody! Don't ever come here and bother me right now!" Cronauer: "Well thanks, Roosevelt. Can't you give us a little weather?" Roosevelt: "Not now, man! I'm on ...

(Hello, My Baby)

Wes Lugar: "I want the York case." Captain Doyle: "There is no York case, it was a suicide! Coffee? Cappuccino? Espresso?" Captain Doyle: "Hey, Scotty, can you get this machine to work?" Scotty: "I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain! If I push it any harder the whole thing will blow!"

"When I wanna think of home I think of something specific, you know, like my hammock in the back yard, and my wife pruning the rose bushes in a pair of my old work gloves."

Lieutenant Commander Nyota Uhura: "Dock control reports ready, Sir." Lieutenant Commander Hikaru Sulu: "Helm ready, Sir." Lieutenant Ilia: "Orbital display on plot, Sir." Uhura: "Yard command signaling clear, Sir." Kirk: "Maneuvering thrusters, Mr. Sulu." Sulu: "Maneuvering thrusters, sir." Kirk: "Hold stations." Su...

"So you better hit them bunks my little babies, or Sergeant Hulka with the big toe is gonna see how far he can stick it up your ass."

"Suicide is out this year. Homicide is much healthier."

Ben: “You know what many people are liking at night?” Newton: “What?” Ben: “Headlights!”

Chef: "Hello there, children!" The kids: "Hey Chef!"

"I do more hip hop music."

Jack: "Okay, here's how this is gonna go. We're gonna sit here in silience for about three minutes. Then I'm gonna take my girlfriend to Plunder where the Pope himself could not get a table." Priest: "You sound troubled my son." Jack: "Can it father. It was a nice try though."

Jenna: (Singing a song like a man) Blind girl: Wow, he does not sound good live.

"The…hold it. Hold it! Please."

"I have not had any conversations."

"The FBI has not come for us and they're not asking us for anything."

Joan: "How bad was it, you might ask?"Keenan: "I might, if you gave me the opportunity." Joan: "I was just saving you the effort."

"That's right, I'm back. Whooo! Hang onto your husbands girls."

"HOW DID IT HAPPEN?!"

"We don't like our waitresses to have hairy lips."

"15 years after earth, humanity's last hope is Titan A.E."

"I was born in 3023. Humans had already conquered space. Even though it was easy to travel to the farthest galaxy, we'd always thought Earth would be home. But we were wrong... and we had to leave."

"Driver, why are we stopped here? This isn't the Howard Johnsons."

Ducoit: "Well, Monsiuer Rivers, it seems that you have become, how do you say, indispensable?" Nick: "Indispensable." Ducoit: "That's what I thought."

Hillary: "My uncle was born in America." Nick: "Oh, really?" Hillary: "But he was one of the lucky ones. He managed to escape in a balloon during the Jimmy Carter presidency."

Frankenstein: "Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?" Igor: "Certainly. You take the blonde, and I'll take the one in the turban."

Steve Everett: "Dammit Bob why don't you hit me in the fucking face, will ya! I'll fall down, I'll bleed, I'll do all that. I deserve it! Then you can go home and hit your wife cause she likes it." Alan: "Ohhh-oh-oh-oh..."

“You just have yourself a good day! Take care now, bye-bye then."

Alan Mann: "How was she?" Steve Everett: "None of your damn business...not bad!" Alan Mann: "Lucky bastard. I always like her and respected her. Hey - did I ever tell you about that assistant D.A. I was banging in New York?" Steve Everett: "No and if you start to tell me now I'm gonna come across that desk and rip y...

“We call him Hound because, well, um, he's horny.”

Little Bill Daggett: "You just shot an unarmed man!" Munny: "Well, he should have armed himself."

"He's my partner. He don't go, I don't go."

“My favorite dish is haggis. Heart, lungs, liver. You shove that all in a sheep's stomach, then you boil it. That'll put some hair on your ass!”

“Well, it's about time, I haven't thrown up in about an hour!”

"Oh My! Oh! Oh! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! He's not dead! He's not ... (gunshot fires) ... strike that!"

“Redbud, here we come!”

Jimmy: “You scared, man?” Hiller: “Nope. You?” Jimmy: “Nope... Hold me!”

“Oh, shit! Um, hide!”

Julius: “Oh, so this is healthy?” David: “Well, I could get used to it!”

Patricia: “Happy Fourth of July, Daddy.” Pres: “Same to you, munchkin!”

“He's as mad as a hippo with a hernia!”

Timon:“Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase!” Pumbaaa:“Hakuna matata, ain't no passin' craze!”

Phil: "Do you ever have déjà vu, Mrs. Lancaster?", Mrs. Lancaster: "I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen?"

"Hello, Wanda!"

"Hold on to your butts!"

"What is this, hump a Limey week suddenly?"

"Well, now, I bring all sorts of plusses to the table. I hardly ever bluff and I never, ever, cheat."

"I think that, had we known each other under different circumstances, well we would've just hated each other."

"We get all dressed up in war paint and go whooping around like idiots. He wants me to speak like they say in the books, you know, 'How, white man!'… you people are such assholes. Of course he's gotta hear the war drums all the time!"

"Stop it, Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you."

"The prodigal son returns. He's a whelp, this girl could best him."

(Screaming in background, startled chickens) "Fuck me, he cleared it!"

Sidney: "Oh my God, Randy, I thought you wre dead!" Randy: "I probably should be. I never thought I'd be so happy to be a virgin!"

Sidney: "How do you…guy someone?" Stu: "You take a knife, and you slit 'em from groin sto sternum!"

"Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting crocodiles! Ha ha ha ha!"

Doug: "Somebody horked our clothes!" Bob: "Geez, who'd want to hork our clothes, eh?"

“Lady, you are about a half-a-bubble off of plumb, and that's for sure and for certain.”

Mortimer: "What happened to him?" Aunt Abby Brewster: "He died." Mortimer: "Men don't just get into window seats and die." Aunt Abby: "Oh no dear, he died first." Mortimer: "How did he die?" Aunt Martha Brewster:"He gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it."

"I want the Happydale Sanatorium, sanatorium, sanatorium, sanatorium."

"Always have a back up."

"Forget Paris, he was courting. They'll do anything when they're courting."

"And how are we this morning?"

He's not the problem, Jack. Now, you want to pull your head out of your ass and tell me why the hell we're bringing her with us?"

Jack Foley: "I'm saying she wasn't scared, that's all." Buddy: "That's cause she had her hand on her gun the whole time waitin' to make her move."

"Hey you guys!"

"Ok, I don't want to know about this. I never saw you throw that gentleman off the balcony. All I care about it, are you happy with your haircut?"

"Hello again, Cyclops."

Fabian: "My dea, you have set your gaze upon the quintessential frontier type. Note, the lean silhouette, eyes closed by the sun though sharp as a hawk. He's got the look of both predator, and prey." Josephine: "I want one." Fabian: "Happy hunting!"

"I'm your huckleberry!"

"You tell 'em I'm coming! And Hell's comin' with me, you hear? Hell's comin' with me!"

Texas Jack: "Did you ever see anything like that before?" Johnson: "Hell, I ain't never even heard of anything like that!"

"Hooch! Hooch, c'mon boy! Hooch, put that down!"

"I told hell no it won't pass."

"Friends are the ones, on who you can depend He's my friend, He's not my friend Friends are the ones who are there at the end He's my friend, They're not my friends"

Windows: "Harry Knowles!" Harry: "Which one of you is Windows?" Windows: "I'm Windows. Nice to meet you…" Guy: "Harry Knowles is hitting him in the face."

Dr. Marvin: "You think he's gone!? He's not gone! That's the whole point! He's never gone!!" Bob: "Is this some radical new therapy?" Dr. Marvin: "YOU SEE?!?!"

Fay: "Leo?" Anna: "Daddy, it's me! Anna!" Lily: "Leo, it's me, Lily, your sister!" Fay: "Come back to us! The worst is over." Siggy: "Yeah dad, how much worse can it get?"

“Hey! What I just did gave me a fuckin migrane, so if you don't pipe down, I'm gonna yank your sack off like a paper towel!”

Friedrich: “And so you and Victor were...” Frau Blucher: “Yes! Yes! Say it! He was my BOYFRIEND!”

“Stand back! For the love of God! He has a rotten brain!”

“He would have an enormous schwanzstucker!”

Henry: "What happened?" Ula: "Your ball hooked into that cart, bounced back and hit you in the head. It was frickin' hilarious."

Old Hawaiian Man: "Can I have that? I need something to wipe my ass with." Henry: "Ha, ha, ha, shut up."

Security Guard #1: "Hey, Lucy, good to see you again. What the hell's her problem?" Security Guard #2: "She doesn't remember who you are, brah." Security Guard #1: "Oh, yeah. I suck at this job"

Doug: "You want a broken head, huh, smart guy?" Marlin: "Why, you gonna give it to him?" Doug: "No, daddy, I thought you was gonna do it." Henry: "Nobody's gotta break my head, guys. I'm gonna split anyways." Marlin: "No, don't go just because my son is psychotic."

"Holy crap, I suck."

"Oh, one of Brittany's' moms' pubic hairs."

"I'm doing the happy dance, I'm doing the happy dance. (while dancing)"

Baxter Cain: "When I see one of BASEketball's' hottest stars with less than 20 dollars in his pocket, driving an American car, and sharing his small house with two other guys, you know what that says to me?" Remer: "Homos?"

"Ok, I'm going home, keep your money."

(Howling as Deckard is trying to escape by climbing out the window.)

George: "Put that shit away. You're pregnant, for Christ sakes." Mirtha Jung: "Aye, don't be such a hypocrite. I quit smoking, didn't I?"

"The official toxicity limit for humans is between one and one and half grams of cocaine depending on body weight. I was averaging five grams a day, maybe more. I snorted ten grams in ten minutes once. I guess I had a high tolerance."

"40 years old and I haven't done a thing."

Harvey: "We need one of our own in office. We can have a revolution here." Man: "I don't do losing."

"Harvey Milk will be stabbed and have…"

"How wrong can you be."

"Everybody we know has a human maid. It's considered a necessity."

"Ah I know what you're saying…who is Ed Catmo. Well since I was the host of the sci-tech awards dinner held 2 weeks ago I happen to know. In the world of digital animation…he is god."

Natalie Portman: "What's going on with you?" Ben: "Nothing I just want to retire from being a funny guy. That's all." Natalie Portman: "You look like you work at a Hassidic meth lab. What do you want to do?" Ben: "I don't know, maybe cinematography."

Saul: "When I watch a movie I like to be intellectually stimulated or watch young boys have sex with Nazis." Dale: "Come on man."

"And I want it to be very clear that I do know how hard I make it to appreciate me often."

"Hut."