Hell of a time for humor, John.

Hey! You are killing my business, man!

Skeet: Hey, Red. How'd it go? Red: Same old shit. Different day.

Sarah Connor: HKs? Kyle Reese: Hunter-killers. Patrol machines built in automated factories.

Heh heh! It's the rule, you know.

He turned it around. He brought us back from the brink.

His name is Connor. John Connor. Your son, Sarah. Your unborn son.

Hey, tubby... You got a light for an old leprechaun's pipe?

Billy: So he never? I mean, never? Costello: No. He kept his own counsel.

Your Uncle Jackie... He also would kill my entire fucking family if he saw me here with you.

Colin: Afternoon, Mr. Fitzgibbons. Brown: He can't do that. Barrigan: He just did.

Madolyn: Honesty is not synonymous with truth. Billy: Yeah, you lie.

Queenan: Okay, kid. Let's do this. Come on, spread 'em. Dignam: Hey, what do you think you can pop somebody and there's a special card to play?

You signed the papers, remember? Now, we're the only two people on the face of this earth that even know you're a cop. How 'bout we just erase your file? Huh?

Herr Doktor.

How 'bout that? How 'bout we erase your file, and then bang, you're just another soldier for Costello, open to arrest for I don't know how many felonies, huh?

He used some sort of nerve gas. These men don't remember a thing.

Austin: Had you for a second. Felicity: You can have me for even longer, if you want.

He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins.

Scott: He'll kill me the first chance he gets. Dr. Evil: Probably. I love you. I love you.

How about one of your world-famous massages?

Austin: How does that feel, baby? Felicity: Mmm, lower. Austin: How does that feel, baby?

Hang tight for me, kid. Just a little while longer.

All right? Okay? Have I done my job up to your goddamn standards?

Hey, fat-ass. Fat-ass. Talk to me, boy.

His first night in the joint, Andy Dufresne cost me 2 packs of cigarettes. He never made a sound.

Hey, mister, I need help. There's a guy in here, he's hurt bad. We gotta get him to a doctor.

Leonard: He knew about Sammy! Why would I tell him about fuckin' Sammy? Teddy: You tell everybody about Sammy, everybody who'll listen.

Colin: Hi, Dad? Costello: Yes. Colin: Uh, yeah... Something big came up at work. I'm not gonna be home for supper.

How do you feel about losing?

Kylie: He's right there. Gillian: Where? Kylie: By the roses. They grew overnight.

He's sending you macadamia nuts?

Sarah Connor: He'll find us, won't he? Kyle Reese: Probably.

Hey, we all need friends in here. I could be a friend to you.

Hard to get. I like that.

Honey, please do as I say.

Red: Heywood, what you in here for? Heywood: Didn't do it. Lawyer fucked me.

Austin powers? He's the snake to my mongoose. Or the mongoose to my snake. Either way, it's bad.

Hey, somebody get some pants on that kid.

He's always been the dependable one. I've always... been the screwed-up one. Right, dad?

Harold would never beat up his landlord.

High Sound (Voice)

How's about I come by your house tomorrow morning?

Colin: Hey, can I look at...? Madolyn: Yeah. Sure. Colin: All right, we're not having this out.

Colin: Hey, now why do you work for the state? Madolyn: Why not? You do

Scott: Dad, he put this in my bed. Dr. Evil: Who? Scott: Your stupid Mini-you.

He put road kill in my sheets!

Hello, mummy. Mummy, can I have some chocolates? I want some Mars Bars.

He's my posse.

Ha ha. No, actually, I just came here to talk to your mom.

Austin: Well, how could you do it? Felicity: I was just doing my job. Austin: No, I mean literally, how could you do it?

Hang in there, Mini-Me.

Hey, assholes!

Having said that, I do have some thoughts.

Hedging your bets?

Ellerby: How is your wedding coming along? Colin: Great, great; she's a doctor. Ellerby: That's outstanding. Colin: Yeah.

Hey, yo, traffic, traffic. Lookin' for my Chap Stick. Feelin' kinda carsick. There's a Ford Maverick. See, that's a million-dollar song right there.

B-Rad: How y'all know me? Sean: We seent you. We seent your white behind on the TV.

PJ: How much you think we can get for this punk, anyway? Sean: It's all about the Benjamins, baby. Yeah.

He had these long, real scary fingers. And, uh, he wasn't nice like lucky charms or anything. And, uh, and then he ate a bug!

He's going to kill every one of us, and I'm first.

He put his... penis in your mouth?

He put his, uh, penis in my mouth...

He said, "do you want to get fucked, is that what you want?" then he reached down and tore off my panties.

All right? Just... Just trust me, Frank. Hey, it fucking involves lying, and I'm pretty fucking good at that, right?

Hotel clerk: 307. Felix: Uh, have you got anything, uh, higher? Hotel clerk: Higher? 914?

Billy: I don't wanna be you Costello: Heavy lies the crown... sort of thing.

He's already in there. Sat down with Rick.

Andrea: He's here? Daryl: Yup.

Julia: How come he's so nice to you? Holly: I let him look at my boobs at the Christmas party last year.

Hey, you know, wedding singer? A-whoo!

Hey, Robbie, you better get back in there. They're starting to turn on George.

He's a wild card, but he's effective.

He gets the dirty jobs done.

Andy: He's taking it pretty bad. I mean, he's acting like a real robot. A zombie or something. Sammy: He's been wanting to get married since the third grade.

Hey, check out the cake. There's only a little groom on top.

Hey, Linda. You're a bitch.

He might have Tourette's Syndrome. We're looking into it.

Hey, you better do something, because I don't want to be known as the brother-in-law of the town nut job. I got enough problems already.

Sammy: Hey, these sheets are soft. You use Downy? Robbie: No. All Tempa-Cheer. You can wash your clothes at any temperature, and the colors don't run together. Sammy: Really? Robbie: Yeah. Now leave me alone.

Hey, yeah, have a few drinks and, you know, drive home.

Hey, your ass is grass. I'm telling mom when we get home.

Colin: He has fucking information in a locked file, as did Captain Queenan. I need access to those files. Dignam: Hey, I forgot the password, but if you'd like to come down to the garage with me, I'd be happy to give it to you.

Colin: He was working for me. He was my informant. Billy: Shut your fucking mouth. Come on! Get up! Colin: What is this? A citizens arrest? Blow me.

This lep, he played one. He played Pogo on his lung. Teach you to steal me gold. Ha ha ha!

How marvelous.

Oh, you're gonna be okay, Ozzie. He didn't get your ear, he just bit it.

He'll pat me on my behind or rub my shoulders while I'm sitting at my desk.

Glenn: Hey, oh, somebody needs a drink. Robbie: Actually, I'm not a big drinker. Glenn: Well, I am. How about an Alabama Slammer? Glenn's Buddy: Sounds like a plan. Glenn: Meet me at the bar. I gotta piss first.

Milton: How long after the initial bite? Hershel: Immediately.

Milton: How high above the bite. Hershel: I'm not showing you my leg. Milton: It's important data.

Glenn: Hey, you're not going. Merle: I don't need permission.

He strolled, like a man in the park without a care or a worry in the world, like he had on an invisible coat that would shield him from this place.

Hershel: How's it going in there? Andrea: They kicked me out.

He never said who did it, but we all knew.

He is not in my custody at this time.

He's gonna consider them and then we'll meet again in two days.

He wants the prison.

He wants us gone. Dead.

He wants us dead for what we did to Woodbury.

He gave me a choice. A way out.

Hershel: He'll kill her. Rick: And then kill us anyway.

Julia: How did you become a wedding singer? Robbie: I think I got into it to make some money until my music career took off.

Julia: Have you written anything lately? Robbie: Yeah, I guess. Julia: Will you play it for me? Robbie: You don't want to hear it. It's not good.

He's losing his mind. And I'm reaping all the benefits.

How do you do it, man? I mean, how do you do it without getting caught?

Holly: Hey, guys. Julia's feeling a little under the weather. Glenn: Told you she was gonna yak. Robbie: Yeah, you called it.

How was your bottle of rum last night?

He must have been king of the wicker people.

Here you go, girls. I got an ascot for each of you.

He's the curator here at the museum.

Hiding is our plan. In case you haven't noticed, there's an unidentified freaky object in here!

Hello! Hello! What do you want down there?

He stole my thing that I say.

He's fine. He's just fine, milady.

Here's a list of ingredients on how to create your own carbon-based organic composite predators.

Her heart was already lost, you see, to the captain of the guard.

He swore that if he could not have her, no man would.

Sally: How many times did you read my letter? Hallet: A few. I have to study all the evidence.

Bill: How's the Brad project going? Tom: Smooth. He's in South Central. Bill: God, is he okay? Tom: Oh, he's in excellent hands.

Sean: Five. PJ: Don't do it, Bloodbath! Sean: Four. PJ: Don't do it, Bloodbath! Sean: Three. PJ: He gonna do it, white boy! Sean: Two. PJ: Kill him! Kill him!

Sean: How you doing, white boy? You cool? B-Rad: Great. Fine. Terrific popcorn.

B-Rad: Hey, girl. What's up? Shondra: You all right? B-Rad: Oh yeah, I'm fine, but you the finest. She the truth too, dude.

Howard: Hold on to the wheel for a bit. Katharine: Oh! Oh! Ho ho ho!

He's queer as a bedbug.

Hot dog! I'm so proud of you.

Hey, asswipe...

He called upon the powers of darkness for the means to damn the lovers.

Hey, psycho, I'm not gonna feel better about this. It's over.

Billy Idol: How you doing, sir? Chicken or fish? Glenn: You better get out of my way, Billy, or you're going to get hurt.

He has given me the knowledge to undo what I have done.

Imperius: He has forgiven me. Navarre: He hasn't forgiven you. He's made you mad.

He's alive, like you. He's full of hope, like you.

He said, "tell her we two speak as one. And she will follow your instructions as my own."

How 'bout the girls? How are they in the bomb department?

Hey, guys. Scooby's feeling kind of... like he's got rabies.

He wants to ask me on a date.

Hey, hey, hey! Everyone part like the Red Sea. It's me, Shizzy McCreepy, and my brother, S.D. McCrawley.

Hello, baby.

Hey... Have you done anything cool and creepy lately?

Here's a clue for you, Scoob. That dude's wearing his freak hat 24-7.

Here we go.

Howard: Look, look, I'll get back to you then. Dietrich: How could 18 million goddamn dollars slip your mind? Howard: Goodbye now.

Katharine: Howard, please. This is beneath you. Howard: No, no, this is exactly me.

He's squatting inside her like a toad.

Hey, Jimmy, I got a worm with your name on it.

Holy Mother of God.

Howard: Ah, he can't stop us. Jack: He's Pan Am, Howard. He can stop anything!

He owns Pan Am, he owns Congress, he owns the Civil Aeronautics Board, but he does not own the sky.

Hey, young Dre, you got cornrows in your hair. You got cornrows down there?

Welcome back, Herr doctor. How was space?

He's coming across the ice.

He invented a cold fusion power unit for a "tractor beam."

Ha ha! You want down, Mini me? Use your words like a big boy, clone.

Have you ever considered that this is what God intended all along?

Here's the chocolate. It's from Bruges.

He's gone mental on account of the chocolate. It's like frickin' catnip for clones.

Heel, mini me! Heel! Come on! Got me a marlin!

Hell, we could have been tarring the roof of one of our own houses.

How many people are named after a plane crash?

He's my partner. Doesn't mean we hold hands or take windy walks.

Heywood: Hey. Want a cold one, Andy? Andy: No, thanks. Gave up drinking.

Basil: He's been kidnapped. Austin: Very heavy, man.

Austin: Oh! So that's why my father wasn't at the knighting ceremony. Basil: Well, no, actually. He was kidnapped after you were knighted.

Basil: He was last seen on his yacht. Austin: Ah, yes, the HMS Shag-at-Sea.

How bizarre! Imagine! Gilded tallywhackers.

Crikey! Have you ever heard of knocking, man?

Young Basil: He's number one in the class. Young Austin: Whoop-de-do, Basil.

Austin: How can I find this Goldmember? Dr. Evil: Quid pro quo, Mr. Powers.

He's got the Midas touch but he touched it too much, hey, Goldmember. Hey, Goldmember.

He's got a golden pad, he's super bad. Hey, Goldmember. Hey, Goldmember.

Hey, you know what you must do? Relax. Go to it.

Hey, Robbie, that wasn't a bad song. You know, I'm going to tell those record company guys about you.

How are you the expert on the dumbest shit?

Erin: Hello? Can you hear us? Pepper: You're gonna get killed doing that.

He's a bad man. He's a really bad man.

Clerk: He wants to know if you wouldn't mind driving over there to make your report. Kemper: Yes. Yes, we goddamn mind.

I'm sorry, but how often do girls just blow their heads off in this shit-hole town?

How about giving me a hand here, asshole? You don't expect me to do this by myself?

Hey! Get that nasty goddamn thing out of the back seat of my goddamn car! Put it in the trunk. What the hell's the matter with you?

Hence, the name Goldmember.

Frau: He wants to take over the family business. Dr. Evil: Scotty does?

Ja. Oh, he's gotten so evil, he's even started losing his hair.

Humungus will not be defied.

Mifune: How old are you, kid? Kid: Eighteen. Mifune: Should have said sixteen, I might have believed that. Kid: Okay, I'm sixteen. Mifune: The minimum age for the Corp's eighteen. Sixteen's too young.

He has 60 lacerations on his face, to the bone.

His chest was crushed, so his left lung has collapsed, and his heart has shifted entirely to the right side of his chest cavity.

Doctor: He's getting blood transfusions now, but... Dietrich: Whose blood? Doctor: I'm sorry?

He loved gold so much he even lost his genitalia in an unfortunate smelting accident.

Here, try this, Scoob. It looks medicinal.

Hush now, buffoon. This is a highly combustible synthesis.

Use the planes as collateral. Hell, use the desks, use the pens, use everything we got.

Oh, he just wants to make you proud, herr doctor. After all, it's hard on the boy not having a father.

How are you sleeping, good?

Barf: Holy shit! Princess Vespa: How was that? Lone Starr: Not bad. Barf: Not bad... For a girl. Dot Matrix: Hey, that was pretty good for Rambo.

All right, hold on while I try and find my balls, for God's sakes.

He promised us safe passage. He gave his word.

How do you expect us to get it there? Drag it?

He has to come back for his wheels.

How do I know that one's not a dud?