Will Ferrell: I also want to personally thank you for 16 years of humortastical wonderment. And stupendictical wonderocity. Liked it? I loved it Cone Bone. Cone Bone. Cone Bone is a little nickname I got for ya. Conan: Well did you ever give one to Will Ferrell? Will Ferrell: hell no that guy's an asshole.

"I just think about my oldest son who I hurt. Our relationship is hurt to this day."

"I just think about my oldest son who I hurt. Our relationship is hurt to this day."

"I'm hard to forget."

"He brings us so much joy I don't regret it at all. I just wish it would have happened in 10 years rather than right now."

"You said you were going to negotiate and you're holding us hostage."

"We're going to have to pay for Afghanistan as you well now and we're not done in Iraq, but most importantly, we have to make some tough decisions, you, Mr. President have to make some tough decisions, not only about what we procure, but how we procure it..."

"This is going to be one of our highest priorities. By the way, I've already talked to Gates about a thorough review of the helicopter situation."

"Now, if we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll admit that for too long, we have not always met these responsibilities – as a government or as a people. I say this not to lay blame or look backwards, but because it is only by understanding how we arrived at this moment that we’ll be able to lift ourselves out of this p...

"I intend to hold these banks fully accountable for the assistance they receive, and this time, they will have to clearly demonstrate how taxpayer dollars result in more lending for the American taxpayer."

"Third, we will act with the full force of the federal government to ensure that the major banks that Americans depend on have enough confidence and enough money to lend even in more difficult times. And when we learn that a major bank has serious problems, we will hold accountable those responsible, force the nece...

"Given these facts, we can no longer afford to put health care reform on hold. We can't afford to do it."

"By 2020, America will once again have the highest proportion of college graduates in the world. That is a goal we can meet."

"For seven years, we have been a nation at war. No longer will we hide its price."

Hi yo.

"I sort had to hide these cause every time I had family members come over or a weekend or whatever hey would see my balls and start taking them. So I had to put them away so nobody would look at them."

"I thought the president once again hit the right note. He gave us a vision to get out of this very deep recession."

"So the President is still holding out his hand."

"Good evening and happy Mardi Gras."

"Clean coal harnesses the awesome power of the word clean to make it sound like the cleanest clean there is."

Avery: "I'm asking you the question what was your impression?" Reporter: "I don't know what to say. What do you want me to say?" Avery: "No, I want you to give everybody an honest answer. We got people from Israel, Minnesota, Chicago, all over Dallas, Germany."

"Why the beep…the…"

Hi.

Hi!

Hello.

Hold on.

"Hold on, let me get high."

How good are you?

Hiya cutie

HA HA, we did it

Hi, what can I do for you?

Welcome, it's so good to see you. Here's how to play

*Acknowledgement*

*Acknowledgement*

*Acknowledgement*

*Acknowledgement*

*Acknowledgement*

*Acknowledgement*

"Holy buckets, she wants me to give her the…"

Hating people so much because they didn't live up to my expectations. I was so fed up with being around the same kind of idiot all the time. I mean everyone is a carbon copy of one another that it was obvious in my face and how I reacted to people that I couldn't stand them, that I had a personal vendetta against th...

He was a tally man at Mayer brothers wood mill. So basically he counted logs. His idea of a father son day out would be to take me to work on Saturdays and Sundays, and I would sit in his office while he counted logs. It was quite a exciting weekend.

"On a horse made of crystal he patrolled the land with a Mason ring and snauzer and his perfect hands."

"He'll save children but not the British children. He'll save children but not the British children. He'll save children but not the British children. He'll save children but not the British children."

"You can't harm me. Are you a fucking ass? Do you not know who I am? He must not know who I am. I'm the Juggernaut bitch. I'm gonna hit you with your own pimp.

"You know what mother fucker, you're gonna get hurt by my pimp cane one way or another."

You thinking what I’m thinkin? NARNIA. Man, it’s happenin’. But first my hunger pains are stickin’ like duct tape. Let’s hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes. No doubt that bakery’s got all da bomb frostins.

"You need to learn how to be creative, find your higher power and how to be yourself on your own."

"Do you dance badly or hug in public? That's okay because you don't have to be perfect to be the perfect parent. Thousands of teens in foster care would love to put up with you. Call 1-888-200-4005 or visit AdoptUsKids.Org for more information. A message from the US Department of Health and Human Services, Adopt Us ...

"Healthy, fresh, smart arts. This week enjoy smart products your family will eat up. One serving of Van Gogh-gurt contains the live and active culture your kids need. Buy one, get higher test scores free. And nothing satisfies a child's craving for self expression like Tchaikovsky's nutcrackers, now with more music ...

"Healthy, fresh, smart arts. This week enjoy smart products your family will eat up. One serving of Van Gogh-gurt contains the live and active culture your kids need. Buy one, get higher test scores free. And nothing satisfies a child's craving for self expression like Tchaikovsky's nutcrackers, now with more music ...

Operator: 911 Woman: Yeah, hello Operator: 911 Woman: Listen I’m in a vehicle I don’t want to be in right now and I’m in a high speed chase I don’t want to be in. Operator: Where are you at right now? Woman: I have no idea. Just please don’t shoot at me. Operator: Okay, who’s driving the car? Woman: I don’t k...

Promovare solisti pe Etno TV si Taraf - TELEFON-0745.503.350

"We know we've been using the nigger word in a lot of negative way. We were psychologically brain washed to think that it has positive ways of utilizing it amongst ourselves, but no. I'm very happy to be able to use President as opposed to n-I-g-g-e-r.

"Now Mr. Santelli was invited to come on this program and accepted the invitation and on Friday canceled, or I guess the phrase would be bailed out. Yeah!"

"Yo, yo what's up boyles, how's the Winsor? Keeping it real?"

"Which is why I told people to sell everything. But do you think he's going to run that tape? No, because he's got a comedy show."

"And you know when Stewart makes that call I'm all over him but I don't think he's going to do that because he's a comedian."

"In times like these strangers at your doors should be treated cautiously. But unwelcome strangers in your home can be your worst nightmare. Home invasion is a form of armed robbery where criminals break into homes through unlocked or open doors and windows. They even trick people into opening their doors to confron...

"Home safety is a family effort. Being safe and sound should be everybody's priority. In times like these theft and violence can strike anywhere. Protect your family. Keep your home well lighted and always lock doors and windows. Installing alarms adds an extra level of protection. Never leave valuables in plain sig...

"Being safe and sound should be everyone's priority at home. In times like these theft and violence can strike anywhere and at any time. Prevention is the best deterrent against becoming a victim. Keep your house well lighted and always lock doors and windows. Outdoor motion controlled lights, alarms and security ca...

Trey: "This is for Fish's father Leonard. He's 76 years old today. If you guys could sing a little happy birthday to him, that would make this go from a perfect to a perfect plus one weekend." Crowd: "Happy Birthday dear Leonard..."

"How did last night end up for me? I got about one hour sleep. A lot of drama filled. A little argument, police officers involved, maniac girlfriend scratched me all up, it was a hectic night dude."

"Humph"

"How could I ever be Hokage when I can't even save my friend."

"I have to hide my hair to feel pretty."

"He invented food."

"Here is what I like about Carolina, experience and balance."

"I hate to do this to my home state team but I think but I think Gonzaga, a little stronger."

"Air Force 1 does have Direct TV."

"You look like a hung over Olsen Twin."

Jay Leno: "It's, like, I had to laugh the other day when the CEO of AIG said, okay, I've asked them to give half the bonuses back. Now, if you rob a bank and you go into court –- (laughter) –- and you go, Your Honor, I'm going to give you half the money back. (Laughter.) And they seem stunned that we're not jumping ...

Dick: "He's making some choices that in my mind will in fact raise the risk to the American people to another attack." Jon: "I trust you. So, sir, is that based on you reading the intelligence reports?" Dick: "Well I'm not reading the intelligence reports anymore." Jon: "Oh well then maybe I can interest you in a ho...

"Oh well then maybe I can interest you in a hot cup of shut the fuck up."

"About 2 or 3 months ago I started having money problems. Ever since them I've had a pretty hard time keeping up with the bills. The worst part is I can't make the house payments. So when the phone started to ring and I knew it was the mortgage people calling I didn't pick it up. I just couldn't. And the notices wer...

"Recently, I've had a pretty hard time keeping up with the bills. The worst part is I can't make the house payments. So when the phone started to ring I didn't pick it up. And notices were coming in the mail too. Now I may lose my house and I don't know what to do. If you're facing foreclosure, doing nothing only pu...

"Recently, I've had a pretty hard time making the house payments. SO when the phone started to ring I didn't pick it up. Now I may lose my house and I don't know what to do. If you're facing foreclosure, doing nothing only puts you deeper in the whole. Call 1-888-995-HOPE today. That's 1-888-995-4673. Because nothin...

I still find it incredible that we still use word “race” as a cultural determinant…to this day...you should have never invited me here...because I detest what we’ve done to ourselves. Out of a need to make ourselves different from one another, we’ve made the word “race” a way of expressing culture. There’s no such ...

Operator: 911. Man: Hello. Operator: 911 do you have an emergency? Man: Yeah. There’s a little elephant. Operator: An elephant? Man: Yeah. Not an elephant. Sorry, not elephant, little deer and it’s still alive here. Hello? Operator: I’m here. Did you hit the deer? Man: No, no I didn’t hit it somebody else hit...

"We've been fighting a long time. We are outnumbered by machines. Humans have a strength that cannot be measured.

"His father lives in New York."

"It's hard to believe that someone with your looks would be on the loose so long."

"Hey, Yankees, you can take your apology and your trophy and shove it straight up your ass!"

"Now get back to the stands before I shave off half your mustache and shove it up your left nostril!"

Prem Lahiri: "Hey Yankees, you can take your crappy trophy's and shove them right up your asses!" Tanner Boyle: "Nice. See you next year bitches!"

"Hey leave him alone, he doesn't know anything."

"Man I don't know if I can handle another god damn Friday."

Mr. Jones: "Why you boys beating up on Santa Claus? What did Santa Claus ever do to you?" Day-Day: "He broke into our house and stole our presents and Craig let him do it."

"Give me a twister, make it two. Hold the flies."

Moly: "Holy Moly Soughnut Shop." Day-Day: "Holy Moly Soughnut Shop."

Women: "And heaven and nature sing. And heaven and nature sing." Day-Day: "And blah blah blah blah blah. Heaven and fuck all that shit. You all hos have to get off this corner with that."

Money Mike: "Um Damon are you a music lover?" Damon: "Yes." Money Mike: "Have you heard of the nutcracker? Have you heard it? Crunching on your balls in a one horse open sleigh."

"After you hit that little retarded boy with the fucked up walk!"

"Forget about the crowds, the size of the school, their fancy uniforms, and remember what got you here. Focus on the fundamentals that we've gone over time and time again. And most important, don't get caught up thinking about winning or losing this game. If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your...

Music that plays when team goes on winning streak with Jimmy Chitwood back.

"And David put his hand in the bag and took out a stone and slung it. And it struck the Philistine on the head and he fell to the ground. Amen. "

Little Joe Dirt: "Can I Push him off of me?" Joe Dirt's Foster Mother: "He'll stop humping as soon as he's done."

"Tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?"

"Buffalo Bob, that's kinda a weird name, but people say Joe Dirt's a weird name and how cool am I?"

Richard: "It's this Sunday? Why can't Jeff and Cindy take her?" Sheryl: "They have some equestrian thing in Santa Barbara." Richard: "You know, they do that horse shit every weekend." Sheryl: "Well, it's the nationals."

"You know how tired I am? If some girl came up to me, begged me to fuck her. I couldn't do it. That's how tired I am."

"Well perhaps this simple defeat of this little so called champion will be a perfect example how pathetic and weak your society has become. We go!"

Robot: "Careful with those platforms, they belong to the boss. Paulie, did you pack your toothbrush? You know how tabacco stains your teeth. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times." Paulie: "Hey, eh, stop bustin my chops."

"Rocky Balboa has taken Ivan Drago's best punches so far. He's tired, he's breathing but he's on his feet."

Paulie: "Who's the criminal?" Rocky: "He's a nice kid." Paulie: "He dresses like a bum." Rocky: "Oh, coming from a human hamburger that's quite a compliment." Paulie: "Hide the silverware."

"Just hand a sign around your neck saying punch me $5, you'll make big money."

Calogero: "And on warm summer nights, all through the neighborhood, you would hear the sounds of young Italian men romancing their women." Italian Guy: "Eh Marie, get in the fucking car!" Marie: "No."

"His name was Jimmy Whispers and he was Sonny's main man. They called him whispers cause everything was a secret to him."

Calogero: "He owes me money." Danny K.O: "Hit him with a fuckin bat." Bobby: "Knock him all over the fuckin block. What are you kiddin me or what." Sonny: "Is that the advice you give the kid? Is that the, you fuckin hoodlums."

Skipper: "You, quadraped. Sprechen sie English?" Marty: "I sprechen." Skipper: "What continent is this?" Marty: "Manhattan." Skipper: "Hoover Dam! We're still in New York. Abort. Dive, dive, dive!"

Alex: "Even the star is out. Not going to find a star like that in the wild." Marty: "Helicopter."

"He's got style!"

"I'm telling you, that dude just gives me the heebiedabajeebies."

"How long is this going to take?!"

"He's going savage."

"He's psychotic!"

"Shut up and don't call me Goob! How many evil villains you know can pull off a name like Goob? Bleh."

"Clouseau? Yes. The first time I ever heard that name. Clouseau, he was a little nothing. Just another police officer in a small village far from Paris. He was the village idiot."