"Is she the one who is dating, what is it Chester or something?"

"No he wasn't there."

"A swing and a long drive, OMG it's a homerun, he's my BFF."

"I thought it actually was handled pretty well."

"I'm sure that Sarah and I have disagreed on some issues. And to think that somehow that we are saying something that's not true in those calls is absolutely false. He was friends with a terrorist and his wife."

"Lieberman, he is so great. He is so independent. He reminds me a lot of John McCain also. That independent spirit that is within them."

"Well it was actually in third grade, but ah, I had received a pocket Etch-a-Sketch at a coroporate hospitality suite as a, as a student, and uh, uh a you know, a friend or two said, oh you should really be putting thess stuff someplace and really archiving them. And so uh, and so the website started to go up and th...

"No problem, have a good day."

"Here's looking at you, kid."

"He was a soldier of Rome. Honor Him."

"Hello gorgeous!"

"Hey Killian! Here is Sub Zero, now, Plain Zero!"

"Hey Lighthead! Hey Christmas Tree!"

Amber:"What happened to Buzzaw?", Ben Richards:"Uhh, he had to split."

"Well I haven't been in showbusiness as long as you have, Killian, but I'm a quick learner!"

"Happy birthday Paulie."

"He's cut, he's cut, the Russian's cut and it's a bad cut, and now it's Rocky Balboa coming after Ivan Drago."

"You cut him, you hurt him, you see, you see, he's not a machine, he's a man!"

(In Russian) "He's not human. He is like a piece of iron."

"Have a drink slugger?"

"You made me lose my girl. Now I'm gonna make you lose yours. How does that sound, tiger?"

"You gotta admit, I played this stinkin city like a hawk from hell!"

"But in the meantime, how about a kiss Santy Clause."

"The other mission that John and I are anxious for me to lead on is helping our families who have children with special needs, ushering in that spirit to Washington, D.C., where we saw, we're gonna give every child a chance and a good educational opportunity will be provided."

"Well yes, he certainly inspired me."

Translated from German: "If the international Jewish financiers in and outside Europe should succeed in plunging the nations once more into a world war, then the result will not be the Bolshevizing of the earth, and thus the victory of Jewry, but the annihilation of the Jewish race in Europe!"

"There's a lot of focus just on how do we open that up again."

"We have every indication that we're having a deep recession."

"I'm happy to take the heat and I've taken the heat."

"If asset prices continue to deteriorate, without questions we're going to have to mark down more."

"He isn't trained at all."

"He isn't trained at all."

"He thought it was hilarious to teach me dirty words."

"He always went home to the Democrat leadership."

"His own backers may not agree."

"He still fails to acknowledge that he was wrong."

"He was wrong when he said Georgia should show restraint."

"Honor and victory, and not defeat."

"Probably, we would have had to go back."

"He asked for nearly a billion dollars in pork barrel projects."

"So we can take a hatchet, and we can take a scalpel, and we can reduce the spending."

"The big mistake that the administration has made now, and the secretary of the treasury, is not going out and buying up these home loan mortgages that are bad, and give them back to the homeowners at a mortgage rate they can afford and stay in their homes."

"There's a housing crisis that started this, it's the housing values that are going to start getting us out."

"The first role of government is to help people who are in crisis or need."

"But when I am alone in the half light of the canyon all existence seems to fade to a being with my soul and memories. And the sounds of the Big Black Foot River and a four count rhythm and the hope that a fish will rise. Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the wo...

"But when I am alone in the half light of the canyon all existence seems to fade to a being with my soul and memories. And the sounds of the Big Black Foot River and a four count rhythm and the hope that a fish will rise."

"And the first thing that flashed into me gulliver was that I'd like to have her right down there on the floor with the old in-out."

"Hi hi hi there!"

Ben: "You know, you know what I do when I'm mad, Paul? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow. See how you feel." Paul: [Grabs a gun and fires a few shots] "There's your fuckin' pillow." Ben: "Feel better?" Paul: "Yeah, I do."

"Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter--hotter than they are."

Aunt Bethany: "Is your house on fire, Clark?" Clark W. Griswold: "No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights."

"Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"

"The headaches got worse, I think I got stomach cancer."

Tyler: "Ok, any historical figure?" Narrator: "I'd fight Ghandi." Tyler: "Good answer." Narrator: "How about you?" Tyler:" Lincoln." Narrator: "Lincoln?" Tyler: "Mm hmm."

"That's some heavy shit."

"I'm your huckleberry."

"How about a nice game of chess?"

Ron: Happy Christmas, Harry. Harry: Happy Christmas, Ron.

"I hear that you hear what I'm saying, but do you truly hear what I'm saying?"

Kid: "Excuse me" Rod: "Hey, what's happening?" Kid: "Are you a Hootie?" Rod: "No, I am not Hootie... mofo."

"You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters."

Joey: "You want me to hit ya? Jake:" I want you to hit me with everything you got, I want you to fucking lay me out, go ahead." Joey: "You sure?" Jake: "Yeah." Joey: "Alright." Jake: "Harder! You throw a punch like your taking it up the ass, harder, harder. Harder." Joey: "That's hard ya fuck, what do ya want?...

"I know you're out there. it's going to begin. I can feel you now. I'm going to show you a world Without borders or boundaries. I know that you're afraid anything is possible.

"As long as the Matrix exists, the human race will never be free."

Valerie: "Bye-bye, boys!" Miracle Max: "Have fun storming the castle!"

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

"This sort of thing has cropped up before and it has always been due to human error."

"Wendy, baby. I think you hurt my head real bad."

"Heeeeere's Johnny!"

"It's clean, it's cold, now that's what I call high quality H20."

"Hail to the King, baby."

"Oh, man. Hey, no hurling on the shell, dude, OK? Just waxed it."

"Hop inside my mouth if you want to live."

"Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister."

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "How tall are you private?" Cowboy: "Sir, five foot nine, sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You tryin' to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?" Cowboy: "Sir, no sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Bullshit. It looks to me like the b...

"How many people had I already killed? There those six that I knew about for sure, close enough to blow their last breath in my face."

"Ouuuuu….Happy learned how to put. Uh oh!"

"Here it goes...I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yeild at a crosswalk, I changed lanes in the intersection, I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and speeding!"

"He called me a baboon, thinks I'm his wife."

"Hey, everybody, we're all gonna get laid!"

Harry and Lloyd play tag.

Teddy: "You really wanna get this guy don't you?" Leonard: "Killed my wife. He took my fucking memory."

"He didn't get out of the cocky-a-doody car."

Evelle: "Hey, these blow up into funny shapes at all?" Nice Old Grocery Man: "Well, no. Unless round is funny."

"When you're telling these little stories, here's a good idea. Have a point, it makes is so much more interesting for the listener."

Don: "Have you ever been sexually assaulted? No, neither have I, until today...on that plane." Spanish Official: "What?" Don: "Yeah, that's what I said. There's me putting my bag up in the cupboard next thing ya know, I feel hands on me. Someone's touched me, touched my front...my front bottom. I can't believe it, I...

"How many assholes do we have on this ship anyhow?"

"Hey, no force fields!"

"A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."

Theoden: "Tonight we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country. Hail the victorious dead." Crowd: "Hail!"

"He's losing his mind and I'm reaping all the benefits."

"He must've thought it was white boy day."

Clark: "Hey, excuse me homes. Ha Ha uh huh, what it is bro. We're from out of town." Man: "No shit."

Letterman: "He kept looking at his watch. He had some big, giant watch on, like he was-- like I was supposed to ask him about his watch. And it made me think that he probably got the watch free; you mention the watch on TV--" Conrad: "He was probably checking his fifteen minutes." Letterman: "That's pretty goo...

Conrad: "You had him on your show!" Letterman: "He's just the worst, that guy."

"I mean, it's Barack Obama who used the expression 'spread the wealth.' Joe-- Joe the Plumber didn't say that to him; nobody else put those words in his mouth. So at least he's got to own up to the fact that this was his mistake."

"Unlike bottom-line companies that are often hostage to markets that are going on around them, when you have eighty different businesses there is always something going on."

"I'd also point out on the balance sheet, our capital ratios also are the highest point they've been since the start of the year."

"Hello Minnesota, I'm John Ratzenberger and we in Hollywood are a bit worried that Al Franken is hurting our reputation."

"His response to our economic crisis is to spend and tax our economy deeper into recession. The fact is Barack Obama’s not ready yet."

"Obama is a radical. And at the very best he is a socialist."

"Hello Orlando. Are you ready for a new President."

"And his healthcare plan is light-years better."

Stewart: "Has any of this fear stuff-- Do you think it's stuck with the electorate? Are you finding that on the trail?" Obama: "You know, it just hasn't. I think that there's a certain segment of hardcore Sean Hannity that probably wouldn't want to go have a beer with me. There's no doubt about that."

"Hindsight is twenty-twenty, obviously."

"Home is Chicago."

"Half the time they don't know what's going on."

"We almost had to play perfect basketball to come down from 25-26 points."

"Had Nate turning cartwheels."

"He's from Chicago and had a great career at Georgia Tech."

"Hopefully one day there'll be some kid standing here or sitting here, having a press conference, and saying that, you know, I was one of those kids."

"I mean, I didn't think that she was someone who I wanted her with her hand on the nuclear button at any point or anything."

Kristol: "He's run an impressive campaign--" Stewart: "Right." Kristol: "And if you think running an impressive campaign means he'll be a good President--" Stewart: "No. I don't think that." Kristol: "That could happen. Carter ran a good campaign. Bush ran a good campaign. I prefer to go with McCain's re...

"Well, it's a weird year. No, no. I think they're doing-- They're doing okay. It's not been a brilliant campaign, but they're going to upset. They're going to win on Tuesday night. It's going to be huge. I know, I just-- How could I resist? How could I resist? How could I resist saying that? I hope a few of you took...

Blue: Hey, Charlie. Hey, Charlie, wake up. Pink: Yeah, Charlie. You silly sleepy-head, wake up.

John: "You and that beautiful lady?" Max: "I am the thief of hearts...I am the gangster of love!" John: "Gangster, huh?  Well tell me, was it more of a hold up than a stick up?"

John: "You and that beautiful lady?" Max: "I am the thief of hearts...I am the gangster of love!" John: "Gangster, huh?  Well tell me, was it more of a hold up than a stick up?"

"Hey, hey, hey! It's the big Master Control Program everybody's been talking about."

"Do you realize how many outside systems I've gone into? How many programs I've appropriated?"

"Open the pod bay door, please, HAL."

"X-RAY, Delta One, this is Mission Control. Rrrroger your 2-zero 1-three. Sorry you fellas are having a bit of trouble. We are reviewing telemetric information in our mission simulator and will advise. Rrrrroger your plan to go EVA and replace Alpha Echo 3-5 unit prior to failure."

Female Bodybuilder: "Howard comes to Hartford to become the wacky morning man on WCCC" Gary: "Let's see some muscles!" Female Bodybuilder: "Was my voice too deep doing that?" Gary: "No, it's very feminine!"

"I'm half negro! And Howard's half negro! And anything bad you say about negros, you're saying about us, understand?"

"There it is!   The Holy grail of Christmas gifts!  The Red Ryder 200 shot range model air rifle!  And there he is!  Red Ryder himself!  In his hand was the knerl stock of his coolly deadliest looking piece of weaponry as ever I had laid eyes on!"

"HOW SILLY!!"

" How did this get in here? Somebody's pulling a prank on me! Honestly, it's not mine!"

"Hello, hello!"

Thomas Becket:" Honor is a concern of the living. One cannot very well be concerned with it once one's dead." King Henry: "You're too clever for me Thomas. But I know there's something not quite right about your reasoning."

"When you Normans invaded England, you seized our Saxon land, burned our Saxon homes...raped our Saxon sisters. Naturally...you hate Saxons!"

"Hurting people is not a good thing! Well, sometimes it is...But not when its a bunch of people looking for something to eat!"

Wyatt: "You got a helmet?" George: "Oh, oh I've got a helmet! (Laughs) I got a beauty!"

George: "Well, ah, that's got a real nice, uh, taste to it, though I don't suppose it'll do me much good. I mean, I'm so used to the booze and everything." Wyatt: "You've got to hold it in your lungs longer, George."

Wyatt: "How's your joint, George?" George: "Oh my..I believe it went out. I got to talkin' so much I clean forgot about it...went out" Wyatt: "Well, save it. We'll do it first thing tomorrow morning. Gives you a whole new way of looking at the day." George: "Well, I sure could use that! Yes, I sure could use ...

Eddie: "Hey Lucas man, I heard that you like went to Vegas and married a mobsters wife and now there's a hit out on you.. is that true?" Lucas: "Not entirely true." Eddie: "Oh, well, outlaw man.. we salute you." Lucas: "Well thank you Eddie."

"DO YOU FEEL DIZZY? DO YOU FEEL FAINT? JESUS H. CHRIST, I THINK YOU'VE GOT A HARD ON! "

Drill Instructor: "God was here before the Marine Corps. So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to The Corps. Do you ladies understand?" Recruits: "Sir! Yes sir!" Drill Instructor: "I can't hear you!" Recruits: "Sir! Yes sir!"

"God has a hard-on for Marines. Because we kill everything we see. "

Kirk: "Well, for a man that swore he'd never to return to Starfleet..." Bones: "Just a damn minute, Captain Sir. I'll explain what happened. Your revered Admiral Nogura invoked a little known, seldom used reserve activation clause. In simpler language Captain, they DRAFTED me!" Kirk: "They didn't." Bones: "YOU! Damn...

"Hey, hey, hey! It's the big Master Control Program everybody's been talking about."

"Do you realize how many outside systems I've gone into? How many programs I've appropriated?"

"He'd had her. The creature had had my darling girl."

Dr. Sobel: "You know, you know what I do when I'm mad, Paul? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow! See how you feel." Paul Vitti: (Grabs a gun and fires several shots)...."There's your fuckin' pillow!" Dr. Sobel: "Feel better?" Paul Vitti: "Yeah, I do!"

Mobster: "What kind of sandwich ain't too fattening?" Jelly: "A half a sandwich!"

"We don't like our waitresses to have hairy lips. "

"He pukes, you die."

"That's how you become a great man. Hang your balls out there."

"I'm going to make this decision easy for you, okay? Just what does your heart tell you?"

"But maybe, love shouldn't be such hard work."

"I hear that you hear what I'm saying…but do you truly hear what I'm saying?"

"The human head weighs eight pounds."

"Hail! Scroob!"

Chef: "Hello there, children!" The kids: "Hey Chef!"

"Mmm, mmmmm, mmm. I don't know why they call this stuff Hamburger Helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?"

Cronauer: "Something real special right now, we've got a traffic report up there on the Ho-Chih-Minh trail. How's it goin' up there?" Funny voice: "Well, Adrian, it's not goin' exactly well. There's a water buffalo jackknifed up there...it's not a very pretty picture. There's horns everywhere! I don't know what ...

"Hello campers! Remember, Monday is malaria day! That's right! Time to take that big orange pill and get ready for the Ho-Chih-Minh two-step!"

"You know, I used to hate Parkman when he was with the A's. It's amazing how a new uniform can change your attitude about a guy. He's STILL a dick! "

K: "How ya doin', fellas?" Worm guys: "Hi, K." K: "You guys getting along all right?"

"Hey! What's up?"

Jim: "How can a guy grow up in a circus like that?" Police Chief: "Beats me, Jim…but they do."

Mrs. Carol Stark: "Can't you answer? What's the matter with you, anyhow?" Frank Stark: "He's just loaded, honey."

Judy: "He doesn't like one thing about me. He called me a dirty tramp! My own father!" Police chief: "Do you think your father really means that?" Judy: "Yes! No…I don't know!"

"Hellooo, eh, my name is...Bugs!"

MA: Gov. Palin, I love the documentary they made on your life. You know Hustler's Nailin' Paylin? SP: Ohh, good, thank you, yes. MA: That was really edgy. SP: Well, good.

"A little while ago, I had the honor of calling Senator Barack Obama."

"In a contest as long and difficult as this campaign has been, his success alone commands my respect for his ability and perseverance."

"He has prevailed."

"I pledge to him tonight to do all in my power to help him lead us through the many challenges we face."

"Help restore our prosperity."

"I wish the outcome had been different, my friends."

"Hello Chicago!"

"I wish the outcome had been different, my friends."

"You know, campaigns are often harder on a candidate’s family than on the candidate."

"Her husband Todd and their five beautiful children."

"We can all look forward with great interest to her future service to Alaska, the Republican Party and our country."

"Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress."

"And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can."

"A wave has swept this country. A wave is what this country…a wave of hope, hope for the future."

"I congratulate him on a hard fought campaign. I look forward to him coming back to the Senate. I look forward to working with him."

"CNN projects that Barack Obama is the next President of the United States of America. It is official -- he has passed the 270 electoral votes."

How would you like to host a Deal or No Deal in the privacy of your own home?

I don't believe in hypothetical situations Mr. Donaghy - that's like lying to your brain.

"He's just cool. There's no Will Smith jokes either you know what I mean. It's like certain people are hard to make fun of."

I think it's going to be very important for us to provide some kinds of assistance to state and local governments to make sure they don't compound some of the problems that are already out there by having to initiate major layoffs or initiate tax increases.

"I think I need a hug."

Mary: "What is that?" Ted: "Huh?" Mary: "On your ear." Ted: "On my ear?" Mary: "No, your left ear. It that…is that hair gel?"

"Well, here I am sweetheart! Happy to see me, ya little piss ant mop? How about another ride down the chute?"

"hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa"

"A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."

"He has gone unchallenged long enough."

"Hmm. Upgrades."

Valerie: "Bye bye, boys!" Miracle Max: "Have fun storming the castle!"

"Do I make you horny?"

"Find a happy place! Find a happy place! Find a happy place!"

"First thing you want to know about hippogriffs is that they're very proud creatures, very easily offended. You do not want to insult a hippogriff. If may just be the last thing you ever do."

"You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters."

Robbie: "You get emotionally involved and they they, what do they do?" Old Man in Bar: "They rip your heart out of your ass."

"I hate good-byes."

"Hey, how about a hug?"