"Nice set of hooters you got there."

Horrible shot

Lloyd: "You killed my best friend you bastard!" Nicholas Andre: "Well if it's any consolation you're about to be reunited." (Harry unloads his gun on Andre and doesn't hit him once) Lloyd: "Harry, you're alive, and you're a horrible shot."

Happy hitting a big drive

(Happy hitting a big drive)

Happy getting beeped

(Happy getting beeped out by the censors for cursing)

He called me a baboon, thinks I'm his wife.

"He called me a baboon, thinks I'm his wife."

Hey, everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

"Hey, everybody, we're all gonna get laid!"

Hell, I like you.

"Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister."

How tall are you private?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "How tall are you private?" Cowboy: "Sir, five foot nine, sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You tryin' to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?" Cowboy: "Sir, no sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Bullshit. It looks to me like the b...


"Do I make you horny?"

Hard to understand

"It's hard to understand and follow all that stuff."

Hey, Maverick!

"I love it when John McCain and Sarah Palin stand on the stage and say, 'hey, Maverick!'"

How much would it take

"Finally my daughter said, How much would it take for you to do it?"

Hypothetical or fiction

"And they said, well, we'll say right there at that particular chapter that, remember, this is either hypothetical or fiction."

Her mother went on TV

"Her mother went on TV with Diane Sawyer, told Diane Sawyer after her death, yeah Nicole admitted that she was the one that attacked me first."

How much I've loved you

"How very much I've loved you. How very much I've tried my best to give you a good life."

He'll do it

"He'll do it. That plane'll come out of the air. There's no way you can fly a plane without a pilot."

Had a great relationship

"We have a great relationship, had from day one. Had from the first time that I met him last year, he and his wife."


"You can effect a lot of people and humor does it beautifully because humor is perspective and it's a way of making judgment."

He is the man

"I look so forward to what it is that John McCain is going to be able to continue to contribute, to keep this nation safe, to win the wars, and get the economy back on the right track. I'll say, he is the man."

Highly Irregular

James Bond: "Oh no!" Q: "Ah, 007" James Bond: "What a wonderful surprise" Q: "Well for me to. I must say I find this business of equiping you in the field, on the run as it were, highly irregular"

How much do you know about crocodiles?

Tee Hee: "How much do you know about crocodiles Bond?" James Bond: "Oh I've always tried to keep them at arms length myself"

Hong Kong

James Bond: "It certainly gives you a new slant" MI6 Officer: "What with the Chinese on one side and the American fleet on the other, down here is the only place in Hong Kong you can't be bugged"

Hair of the dog

Lloyd: "What'll it be, sir?" Jack: "Hair of the dog that bit me." Lloyd: "Bourbon on the rocks." Jack: "That'll do it."

Here's Johnny

"Heeeere's Johnny!"

Hap-hap-happiest Christmas

"We're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye!"

Ha ha ha! You amuse me, Mr. Bond.

"Ha ha ha! You amuse me, Mr. Bond."


Lisa: "You think I'm hostile now, wait 'till you see me tonight!", Judge: "Do you two know each other?", Vinny: "Yeah, she's my fiancee.", Judge: "Well, that would certainly explain the hostility!"


"You hippopotamic land mass!"


"In a few minutes the man in black will come running around the bend. The minute his head is in view, HIT IT with the rock!"

Hardy fucking har.

"Hardy fucking har."

He hits my hair.

"Ya know I work on my hair a long time…and he hit it. He hits my hair."

Heard that before

M: "And Bond? If you could avoid killing every possible lead it would be deeply appreciated." Bond: "Yes ma'am, I'll do my best." M: "I've heard that before."


Mathis: "I think she has handcuffs." Bond: "You hope so."

He wouldn't care

Camille: "Is that how you treat your friends?..." Bond: "He wouldn't care."

Has not sunk in

"I guess I'm sort of like him. I'm not sure if it has really sunk in. But I remember, we were watching the returns and, on one of the stations, Barack's picture came up and it said, 'President-Elect Barack Obama. ' And I looked at him and I said, 'You are the 44th President of the United States of America. Wow. What...

Have the ability

"The Treasury department has acknowledged they have the ability, legally, to help the auto industry if they choose to."

How much money you need today!

"No! $25 billion bridge loan is for 3 auto companies. I'm asking about General Motors and I'm asking about General Motors and I'm asking how much money you need today to keep you viable and alive so we can structure a reasonable loan contract."

Hit very hard

"Our industry has been hit very hard by the global financial market crisis. And the recent plunge in vehicle sales threatens not only General Motors on going turn around but our very survival."


Home is where the heart is

"And home is where the heart is Mr. President. If that is so I have two homes. One is right here in this chamber, and the other is my beloved state of Alaska. I must leave one to return to the other."

Help the auto industry

"We're prepared to come back into session the week of December 8th to help the auto industry. But only if they present a viable plan that gives us the confidence, the confidence that the taxpayers and the auto workers will be well served."

Holy Shit This is Awesome

"Holy shit this is awesome!"

Holy Shit This is Awesome

"Holy shit, this is awesome!"


Historic crisis

"The news this pass week and including this morning's news about Citigroup has made it even more clear that we are facing an economic crisis of historic proportions."

Human survival

"We cannot allow an illusion to be the basis of a strategy for human survival. We are really facing a very serious existential threat to the future of human civilization."

Hyrule Kingdom Theme Song

Hyrule Castle Theme Song

Haunted House Theme Song

Hidden Levels Map Theme Song

Heroic Tune

Heartful Tears

Home Town

Hurry Up Already

"Hurry up already."

High Score

Halo Theme, Full

Halo Theme, Intro

Halo Theme, Strings

Halo Theme, Middle

Halo Theme, End

Heart Container Theme Song

Horse Race Win Sound Effect

Horse Race Theme Song

House Theme Song

Hyrule Castle Courtyard Theme Song

Hyrule Field Main Theme Song

Hyrule Field Morning Theme Song

Hyrule Legend Theme Song

Hard sale

"I know it's a hard sale to tell people if you hadn't done this it would be worse. The fact is it would be much worse if we hadn't done it."

Hammer Bros. Theme Song

Help Theme Song

Humble person

"Now I'm a humble person when I finally have my name laser etched onto the moon it won't be in a fancy font like Palatino. No, I'm using Cornier, the working man type face."

Hey you guys!

"Hey you guys!"

Hey you guys!

"Hey you guys!"

Hey you guys!

"Hey you guys!"

Human Trafficking Interview

How Eco Can An Eco-preneur Truly Get

How it used to be

"Let me share with you what we have done to change from how it used to be doing business to how we are doing business now."

Hurting our customers

"We produced more vehicles than our customers wanted and then slashed prices. Hurting the residual values of those vehicles and hurting our customers."

Have no stake in

Doctor Manhattan: "Why would I save a world I no longer have any stake in." Silk Spectre: "Do it for me."

Had some crabs

"Last night Jeb and I had some crabs with some members of the 1972 Miami Dolphins, Dan Marino and his really dynamic wife, TV stars, Andy Garcia..."

Hello My Future Girlfriend, full

"Hello my future girlfriend, this is what I sound like. I am eleven years old in the sixth grade, in New Mexico. Please ping me if I'm on Yahoo chat. Bye, thanks for stopping by."

Hello My Future Girlfriend, this is what I sound like

"Hello my future girlfriend, this is what I sound like. I am eleven years old in the sixth grade, in New Mexico."

Hello My Future Girlfriend, please ping me

"Please ping me if I'm on Yahoo chat. Bye, thanks for stopping by."

Hillary fake southern accent

"I don’t feel no ways tired. I come too far from where I started from. Nobody told me the road would be this easy. I don't believe he would bring me this far to leave me."

Hey Stupid, I Brought you this Stuff!

"Hey stupid, I brought you this stuff!"

Homestarrunner.net, it's Dot Com!

"Homestarrunner.net, it's dot com!"

Helping Everybody

"Snorlax is fucking helping everybody right now. If they didn't have that guy, you'd be fucking done, allright?"

Holding all the Pokemon

"He's fucking holding all the pokemon."

Homestar Start Screen

"Download. Email."


"That's an easy one Brendan, horns. No question. I'd wish for a pair of horns."

Hot Cakes

"I think those things would sell like hot cakes, especially if they smelled like hot cakes."

Holy Crap

"Holy crap."


Homestar Runner: "Do you have what it takes to join the Homestarmy? Would you bring a sack lunch and some orange slices for me and serve your country? Will you, stupid?" Strong Bad: "Uhh, no. I don't really have any interest in invading my own…" Homestar Runner: "Ten hut. Draft dodger, eh? We'll see if those trees ...

Hot Pockets

"Mmmm, hot pockets."

Homestar Hair

"Homestar hair?"


"Thanks, hockeyjockeyman..whatever."

Hundred Kicks in the Butt

"And this one is a little amateur, but it has worked for me in the past. You know you bet somebody a hundred bucks and if they win, you give them a hundred kicks in the butt."

Homestar Flippin' the Bird

Homestar Runner: "Right back atcha Strong Bad." Strong Bad: "He just gave me the bird. That wasn't funny, that'll hurt a guy's feelings."

Hi My Name is David Spade

"Hi my name is David Spade, and I'm 12, and I'm going to try and stay up all night tonight."

Hollywood Boulevard

"I'm from Arizona and I wanted to go out and see Hollywood Boulevard. Nobody tells you that it's the skankiest street in the world? Every loser is hanging out there, walking around. Jesus and I don't think there's a dress code on this street, and if there is, it's pretty lenient. What's that a jock strap and a sailo...

Her Daughter is Giving a HJ

"How do you explain this phenomenon? A woman doing the dishes, suddenly has a burning sensation in her right hand. Meanwhile 400 miles away, her daughter is giving a her boyfriend a handjob. Coincidence? Thanks a lot, enjoy your night."

Hickory Dickory Dock

"Hickory dickory dock, some chick was suckin my cock. The clock struck two, I dropped my goo, I dumped the bitch on the next block, bada bing!"

Hey diddle diddle

"Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. That's more than my lazy wife does that lazy fat fuckin smelly baboon."

He'll save children, but not the British children

"Oooh! He'll save children, but not the British children. He'll save children, but not the British children. He'll save children, but not the British children. He'll save children, But not the British children."

He made love like an eagle falling out of the sky

"He had a pocket full of horses, Fucked the shit out of bears, Threw a knife into heaven, and could kill with a stare. He made love like an eagle falling out of the sky. Killed his sensei in a duel and he never said why."

He's Still Here

"Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe I lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here! [whacks the microphone on the stand] Oh my god. Open and shut case, Johnson. I saw this once when I w...

Hello, We Have 5 Black

"They're terrorists. They know black people are bad bargaining chips. They call the White House. Hello, we have 5 black [click]."

Happy Birthday Mr. President

"Happy birthday, Mr. President. Bitch, my family's here!"


"I'm up. If that doesn't get me up, you know what will. Housekeeping. Housekeeping. Bink. No, need sleepy."

Haven't Slept for 10 Days

"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long."

Hair Highlighted

"I got my hair highlighted, because I thought some hair were more important than others."

Hey! Have you seen these toilets? They're ginormous

Buddy: "Hey! Have you seen these toilets? They're ginormous."

Hey Good Lookin'

Higher sentence

"My expectations today were that it was going to be a much higher sentence."

He knew what he was doing

"And the judge said that it was clear and concise he committed that crime. He knew what he was doing. He committed that crime and it's time he paid for it."

His jail cell

"And to watch him sit there in shackles…to watch him walk back through that door. Twice in our lifetime he's walked out the same door as our family and it was nice to see him walk back into his door in his jail sail."


Horse sound

Hello Joyce

Carol: "Hello Joyce?" Chris: "Mom, I'm on the phone." Carol: "Wha, Well Chris what are you doing over at Joyce's?" Chris: "No mom, I'm in the living room, 10 feet away from you, and I'm on the phone." Carol: "Ohh, well I was wondering, while I have you on the phone, what would you like for dinner? We have a choice ...

He Hacked me

Chris: "He hacked me!" Girl Skater: "Wanna fight punk?" Chris: "What are you kidding me…" Hockey Dad: "Alright alright! Break it up Break it up!. What is your problem? She's just a child!" Chris: "That's a girl?" Girl Skater: "Pussy!"

Howler Monkey

Hybrid vampire

"I'm going to be a hybrid vampire, both psy and sangunarian[sic]."

Human again

"Goth kids burned down the Hot Topic and sure enough as soon as they did I tried eating a hot dog and it tasted good. My vampire teeth even fell out when I bit into it. I'm human again."

Hot Topic

"Of course, freakin Hot Topic. That explains everything. How did we not figure that out."

Hamburger Helper

"Why is Hamburger Helper in a glass of milk Butters!"

Handed out too fast

"The problem is the money got handed out too fast the treasury didn't track it."

How do you like these two words

Charcter 1: "Colonel Stuart, can we have a few words please?" Colonel Stuart: "You can have two - Fuck and You. No pictures you pinko bitch."

Helinski Syndrome

Gale Wallens: "An author of Hostage Terrorist, Terrorest Hostage a study in duality. Dr Hasseldorf, what can we expect in the next few hours?" Hasseldorf: "Well Gale by this time the hostages should be going for the early stages of the Helsinki syndrome." Character 1: "As in Helsinki Sweden?" Hasseldorf: "Finland."

Hogs Sound

House of Pleasure Button

"House of Pleasure."

Horse Race Button

Halle lujah Button

Head Chop Button

House of Pain Button

"The House of Pain!"

Het Museum Vertelt: verhalen van de Ticuna-Indianen

Hanukkah Harry Theme Song

"On Moische! On Herschel! On Schlomo! It's Hanukkah Harry 8 nights a year! On Moische! On Herschel! On Schlomo! Means that Hanukkah Harry is here! Delivering Toys for Jewish girls and Jewish boys We dance the horah around the menorah When Hanukkah Harry is Here!"

Handsome nose

Rudolph: "Aren't you going to laugh at my nose too?" Clarice: "I think it's a handsome nose. Much better than that false one you were wearing."

Humble bumble

"I tell you, you're looking at a mighty humble bumble."

He rules here

"He rules here. Every night he searches the entire earth. When he finds a misfit toy, one that no little girl or boy loves, he brings it here to live in this island till someone wants it."

Help the misfits

"Unlike play things, a living creature cannot hide himself on an island. But perhaps being misfits your selves you might help the toys here."

Hard to borrow money

"It's not just people with bad credit that committed to mortgages they can't afford. It's not just people with bad credit who are going to see their home equity vanish and it's not limited to mortgage credit. Americans are going to have a difficult time borrowing money to buy cars, to buy furniture, to buy appliance...

Hermey didn't show up

Head Elf: "That sounded terrible! The tenor section was weak!" Elf: "Wasn't our fault, boss. Hermey didn't show up." Head Elf: "What?"

Ho ho ho

"Ho, ho, ho, ho…"

His beak blinks

Mrs. Donner: "We'll simply have to overlook it." Donner: "How can you overlook that? His beak blinks like a blinking beacon."

Ho Ho Ho

"Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. And what's your name little boy?"


Hubo una vez un gran rey que tenía muchas tierras, un castillo y también un amor

Hubo una vez un gran rey que tenía muchas tierras, un castillo y también un amor. Yo y el rey.

Hey Ladies!

"Hey ladies!"

How many licks

Boy: Mr. Turtle, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Turtle: I never made it without biting, ask Mr. Owl. Boy: Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Owl: Let's find out. One, Ta-who! Three *CRUNCH* Three. ...

Hat baseball cap put on

Havana Background

Hanoi peak hour

Hudson River

Honk fart

High pitch fart

Horn fart

Hammerli Gun Shot

Hang up

Hallelujah Chorus Short


Heart beat

Hysterical laughing

Head shot!

"Head shot!"

High pitched device

Hovering ship

Harley Pipes

Hack Cough

Hack and Spit

Hummer Engine

Houston Toad

Here Comes the First Plinko Chip

And here comes the first Plinko chip - he's actually aiming

Hole In One Rules

Now, if you putt this ball in that hole - and you may putt from that line up there by the hole - you win the car.

Hey you Guys!

Girl: "Hey you guys." Sloth: "Hey you guys."

He Could be the Best for Me to Poop On!

Ace Ventura: "He's good. With my help he could be the best." Triumph: "For me to poop on."

Have Fun Kramer!

Cosmo Kramer: "Now are you just saying that you want to have fun or do you really want to have fun?" Wayne Chung: "Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wayne Chung tonight."

Hey Jew Get in my Car

"Hey Jew get in my car. Hey Jew get in my car. Hey Jew get in my car. Don't let it... Hey Jew get in my car. Hey Jew get in my car."

Hymni i Flamurit (Hymn to the Flag)

Hardest part

Boy #1: "We're building a snowman, Karen. You do the head." Karen: "The head is the hardest part. Ask anybody."

Have some fun

"Frosty the Snowman knew the sun was hot that day. So he said lets run and we'll have some fun now before I melt away."

How about Frosty

Karen: "How about Frosty?" Boy 1: "Frosty?" Boy 2: "Yeah! Frosty it is! Frosty the Snowman."

Happy birthday

"Happy birthday!"

Horrible things

"All the horrible things in your life, a father, the wars."

Hated Christmas

"Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did not."

How could it be so

"And the Grinch with his Grinch feet ice cold in the snow stood puzzling and puzzling how could it be so."

Hand in hand

"Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand."

Hand to his ear

Grinch: "That's a noise…" Narrator: "Grinned the Grinch…" Grinch: "That I simply must hear!" Narrator: "So he paused - and the Grinch put a hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started in low... then it started to grow."

Hot sauce

Peter: "Another bump of hot sauce." Carl Allen: "You guys are really into this yes thing."


"Don't look! I'm hideous."



Hello TV land

"Hello out there in TV Land."

Handle yourself in bed

"You know you look like someone who can handle themselves in bed... and no doubt often does. "

House of denial

"You're living in the house of denial, and we're the men with the moving vans."


"Hello Hello Hello."

Hello baby

"Helllllllooo Baaaby!"


"PeeWee laugh."

Hello Darling

"Hello Darling."

HR Puffinstuff theme

"H.R. Puffinstuff Theme."

Here at muppet labs

"Bunsen Honeydew here at muppet labs, where the future is being made today."

Hello floppy

"Goodbye hard drive - hello floppy!"

Humans remain entertained

"Humans remain entertained..."