David: It's too late. My blood is in your veins. Michael: So is mine!

Sam: It's that girl from the boardwalk. Is she one of them? Star: I have to talk to you. Can I come up? Michael: No! You shut the window and lock your door. Sam: She's one of them! And don't tell me it doesn't make her a bad person, Mike!

FBI Director Womack: Just clippers, no scissors. Paul the Hotel Barber: No scissors, you've got to be kidding me, no scissors. I mean, did they tell Picasso "no brush"? FBI Director Womack: With scissors, this man could kill you. John Mason: I can't cut off anyone's balls with a trimmer, now can I? Why don't w...

I hope you're insured!

I'm only borrowing your Humvee!

Marvin: Hey, Stan, listen, I'm gettin' out of this government shithole. I'm goin' over to Orkin to design roach motels. Cool, huh? Goodspeed: Look, I just stole a kid's motorcycle. I'm not really feeling too good about it, okay? Wolfburg. Got it?

I've rehearsed this speech a thousand times on the chance that we would meet. Here we are, and I'm lost.

I'm not an evil man.

Sam: I bet you hate garlic, don't you? Max: No, I like garlic. It's just a little much. It's raw garlic.

Michael: I can't beat your bike. David: You don't have to beat me, Michael. You just have to try and keep up.

Goodspeed: I should really begin briefing your guys on defusing and detoxification. Got a really neat layout over here of the chem round as well as the rocket, ...so let's get rolling. Anderson: That won't be necessary. Goodspeed: Oh, it's very necessary, sir. The power of this chemical is way beyond anything yo...

There's something else. It's terrible. N... No, it's wonderful, except it isn't.

I told Rachel not so much as a sprain today, my friend.

Katie: Is that what I think it is? Micah: Yes. I don't know what you think it is, but whatever it is, it's sweet. Katie: I think it's a giant-ass camera. What happened to the little handheld? Easy to move around, versatile?

I think we're gonna have a very interesting time, capturing whatever paranormal phenomena is occurring or not occurring.

reply to my baby ^_^

I think it's incredible.

It's beautiful.

Daisy: It's beautiful. Luigi: You're beautiful.

I sense her.

I definitely know it's her.

In my day, we did it all with a snorkel and a pair of flippers.

I'm gonna break every bone in their body, and then I'm gonna kill 'em. I'm really gonna kill 'em.

I'm gonna break every bone in their body, and then i'm gonna kill 'em.

I'm really gonna kill 'em.

Anderson: You're shitting me. Mason: I memorized the timing. I just hope it hasn't been changed. Anderson: You catch one of those flame bursts, you're a corpse. Mason: Thank you. Lieutenant Shephard: Commander, you said never to leave his sight, but, uh...

Luigi: I don't know, I ain't been to Manhattan in a couple of weeks. Mario: Must've been a bad couple of weeks.

General Hummel: Commander Anderson, if you have any concern for the lives of your men, you will order them to safety their weapons and place them on the deck. Agent Paxton: This is not happening... Commander Anderson: Sir, we know why you're out here. God knows, I agree with you. But like you, I swore to defend ...

Goodspeed: It's just me and Mason. Now he says he's leaving. Paxton: That is unacceptable. Do you hear me? Unacceptable! Goodspeed: Well, there's a problem, sir. He's got a gun. Paxton: What do you have, a fuckin' water pistol? Goodspeed: No, sir.

Goodspeed: I'll fire. Mason: No, you won't. Goodspeed: Throw down. Mason: You're not the sort. Goodspeed: Let's find out. Mason: I could; you, no. Besides, your safety's on.

I say we put a pickaxe in his head and the dead girl's and be done with it.

I heard the C.D.C. was working on a cure.

I won't leave again. I promise you that. Not for anything.

Heidi: I've tried to tell you about this. Mitch: What? When? Heidi: All the time! Mitch: Like when? Heidi: Like, when we're in bed and stuff. Mitch: In bed? I thought you were just talking dirty. Heidi: I was, but I was being serious. Mitch: You've said some really sick stuff.

Frank: Marissa's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Beanie: Why don't you give that six months. You don't think that's gonna change? I got a wife, kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie?

Mitch: I'm glad to see Frank's dad made it out. I haven't seen him in eight years. That's great. Congratulations. Frank: I love you, dad!

Marissa: That's really loud. Frank: Yeah, thanks. I took the restrictor plate off, give the Red Dragon a little more juice. But let's keep that on the down low. She's not exactly street legal.

Mitch: What else have you got planned? A student band or something? Beanie: Yeah, that's it. I got a student alt rock band coming on stage next. Mitch, I own six Speaker Cities. I'm worth $3.5 million, that the government knows about. I got more electronics up there than a damn Kiss concert. You think I'd roll out...

I've known this man a long time. I trust his instincts. I say the most important thing here is we need to stay together.

I'm clear now. In five minutes I may not be.

Item... I finally got the scrubbers in the east sector shut down to save power. Wish I could have done it a month ago, but it took me that long to figure it out. Too bad I never studied engineering. Could have saved a lot of amps.

Item... I'm still not sleeping well. Can't seem to keep regular hours. Living underground doesn't help, not knowing if it's day or night. I'm just feeling very off-kilter these days.

I'm here now, Amy. I'm here. I love you.

I know things are hard enough for you without adding guilt into the mix, huh?

I trust one person on this planet, Jaxx. You're talking to her.

If you so much as touch her, Kano you're going to need a seeing eye dog.

Johnny Cage: I'm not doing it again. Director: What do you mean? It's the last shot.

People say to me, "Katherine, you promote neutering so much you must really love animals" And I'm like, yeah...they're OK I guess. But the real reason I'm so pro-neutering is: I hate balls. I really do.

I see the, uh, press is still giving you a hard time.

Daisy: You really think what I do is interesting? Luigi: I think it's incredible. Daisy: Well, you know... If you want, I could show you. Luigi: I'd love you to show me. Show me.

These are all strange new species. Look at this one. The way the bones fit here... And the opposable thumb. It's almost as if... he was a monster trying to be a human being.

I don't believe this.

Unfortunately, I can't cut the nuts off human men......yet. So I've dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs, 'cause that's legal. Hahaha.

I'm, uh, Larry Lazard, of Lazard, Lazard, Conda, Dactyl, and Cohen.

I've prepared a list of the pros and cons of nuts. Let's start with the cons, shall we? They're jiggly, they look awful shaved, their size fluctuates unpredictably, of course they look awful un-shaved, they're crinkly, wrinkly like an old muppet, Hitler and John Wayne Gacy came from them, and so on, and so on this...

I'll kill that plumber!

I can't believe you can do that.

Why should I go to a class? Bernard should be the one going to a class. I swear, the man is orally challenged.

I hope the guy downstairs knows where we're going.

I shall personally kill you.

I thought we were in the trust tree.

I guess we're both prisoners here, huh?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that now that I'm married, I'm definitely feeling a little freaked out about the fact that I'm gonna have sex with only one person...for the rest of my life.

Mario: How we gonna get in there? I got two words for you: "im," "possible." Luigi: Nothing's impossible, Mario. Improbable, unlikely, but never impossible.

I'm a vegetarian. I don't eat anything with a face.

I'd call them the Super Mario Brothers.

Blue: I've been laid more times than god, got six kids in Laung-Pau-Lad. Group: One two three four one two three four. Weensie: I don't know, but it's been said, one more lap and I'll be dead. Group: One two three. Frank: Faster!

I'm sorry, is that funny? Are you a standup comic? Is that what you do now? This is me leaving. This is me leaving.

Roy Munson: I don't know about this, Mr. McCracken. Something doesn't seem right. Ernie McCracken: Well, it takes guts to say no, kid. You got a lot of courage. I don't think I could call my mommy and daddy and tell them I didn't have what it takes to make it on the tour. All right, let's get going. Better call th...

Stanley Goodspeed: You're shooting too close to the rocket! Him, but not the rocket! John Mason: Any other news, professor?

John Mason: What exactly does this stuff do? Stanley Goodspeed: If the rocket renders it aerosol, it could take out the entire city of people. John Mason: Really? And what happens if you drop one? Stanley Goodspeed: Happily, it'd just wipe out you and me. John Mason: How? Stanley Goodspeed: It's a cholines...

Oh, I think we'd like God on our side at the moment, don't you?

I'm too old for this.

I'm rather glad you didn't hesitate too long.

I don't quite see how you cherish the memory of the dead... by killing another million.

And, uh, this is not combat. It's an act of lunacy, General, sir.

Stanley Goodspeed: "I'd take pleasure in guttin' you, boy. I'll take pleasure in guttin' you... boy." What is wrong with these people, huh? Mason? Don't you think there's a lot of, uh, a lot of anger flowing around this island? Kind of a pubescent volatility? Don't you think? A lotta angst, a lot of "I'm sixteen, I'...

I was just thinking how wonderful it was... when the inmates weren't allowed to talk in here.

---

Major Tom Baxter: I thought you weren't ready to kill. General Hummel: I'm warmin' up.

General Hummel: I'm not about to kill 80,000 innocent people! Do you think I'm out of my fucking mind? We bluffed, they called it. The mission is over. Captain Frye: Who said anything about bluffing, General?

Stanley Goodspeed: Listen, I think we got started off on the wrong foot. Stan Goodspeed, FBI. Uh, Let's talk music. Do you like the Elton John song, "Rocket Man"? Captain Darrow: I don't like soft ass shit. Stanley Goodspeed: Oh, you. Oh, oh. Oh. Well, I only bring it up because, uh, it's you. You're the Rocket ...

I'm gonna choke my million bucks out of you.

I'm fed up saving your ass. I'm amazed you ever got past puberty.

FBI Director Womack: Great job, Goodspeed. Agent Paxton: Why don't you throw in a trip to Tahiti while you're at it? Attorney Reynolds: Okay, I'll deliver this to the Attorney General. FBI Director Womack: Uh, no, you'll give it to me. Give it to me, Reynolds. And take Attorney Reynolds outside. There's a car ...

Congressman Weaver and esteemed members of the Special Armed Services Committee, I come before you to protest a grave injustice.... It has to stop.

I know what you're thinking, all right? So just let me explain here. Oh, my... Mommy. You must have a really wide foot. You got both of them.

Roy Munson: No. Don't get Claudia. I'll explain it all later. Just be quiet. Ishmael Boorg: Ok. Roy Munson: Ooh! I think I tore my sack. Ishmael Boorg: Are you ok, Mr. Munson? Roy Munson: Shh! What did I just say? Ishmael Boorg: "I think I tore my sack"? Roy Munson: No! "Be quiet!" Ishmael Boorg: Ok.

Ishmael always was a strange boy, but he means well, and we love him.

I'd help you, but you got to do it yourself. Each buries his own.

Claudia: Ishmael likes me. Roy Munson: I promise you, you're not his type. Claudia: Oh, I'm his type. I'm every guy's type.

It's a small world when you've got unbelievable tits, Roy.

I mean, the world can kick your ass. I only have a vague recollection of when it wasn't kicking mine.

I didn't want to be the one to tell him, but with those narrow hips that girl couldn't have more than six or seven children.

Intro

Isn't she beautiful?

Spike: Ignatius, do you know what the square root of 26,481 is? Iggy: What are you talking about? Spike: One-hundred ninety-one.

Koopa: Both of you go to the desert! Iggy: Excuse me, excuse me. That hardly seems logical, does it? Perhaps we should stay and formulate our own strategy. Tete-a-tete, inner circle, that sort of thing. Koopa: Here's what's logical to me. If you do not return with the plumbers and the rock, I shall personally ki...

I have just found out... that I have saboteurs in the tower. I still do not have the meteorite piece. I'm about to lose everything. We can talk about this later if later even occurs!

I'm here for the gang bang.

Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit nervous, that the best of all the years have gone by, turn around, every now and then I get a little bit terrified, I see the fuckin' look in your eyes, turn around, bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart, turn around, bright eyes, fuckin' every now and then I...

I want to represent the Order of Light at the tournament.

It's an honor to finally meet you, Sonya. Shang Tsung, at your service.

Esmerelda: It's not heaven he's from! It's straight from the stinking flames of hell! The power of Satan is in him, I can feel it. Can't you? Have you poor sheep strayed so far from the path? Edward: We're not sheep. Esmerelda: Don't come near me!

I will bring the ambrosia salad.

Luigi: Are you okay? Daisy: I've got a few problems, but... Luigi: Well, you know, we got a van. Daisy: It's nice. Luigi: Yeah, well... no, no, I'm asking you if you want a ride? Oh, but, uh, it's broken. Daisy: Well... Luigi: Your name's Daisy, isn't it? I overheard your name was Daisy. You know, I haven'...

It has begun!

Luigi: I'm gonna kill 'em! Mario: No, you're not gonna kill 'em. Not if I get there first. I'm gonna break every bone in their body, and then I'm gonna kill 'em. I'm really gonna kill 'em.

From her Album 14th Street Jam Sessions

I can't eat that. He used his hands. I don't think it's sanitary.

Is there some special lady in your life?

I'd give my left nut to see that again.

I am Peter Vincent, vampire killer!

I warned you, didn't i? I saw the sign of satan on him. You didn't heed my warning, but now you will. Now you can see it, too.

Amy, you're not gonna believe this. There are two guys out in the yard and I think they're carrying a coffin.

I don't need hot cocoa, I didn't have a nightmare. They did kill a girl over there.

Charley: Forget it, I'm going to the police. Amy: Charley! You can't go to the police with a story like that, they'll lock you up. Charley: All right!

I know it's a little early for Christmas, Edward, but, uh... I have a present for you.

Kim: STOP IT! Or I'll kill you myself! Jim: Bullshit!, I said stay away from her!

It's turbo time!

Edward: Goodbye. Kim: I love you.

I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it.

I've got just the tool for the job.

Charley: Look, I can prove he's lying! Let's look in the basement, instead. Lennox: What's down there, Charley? Billy Cole: Yes, Charley. What's down there? Well, obviously, the boy's made a mistake. Charley: A coffin! That's what's down there, a coffin. I saw them carry it in. Lennox: What? Charley: You'l...

Charley: Evil, please, I'm not kidding. Tell me what to do. Evil Ed: Don't call me Evil any more!

Charley: I've got eight bucks. Help me and it's yours. Evil Ed: Far be it for me to turn down a fool's money.

Oh, come on. I may be petty and short sighted, but I'm not that petty and short sighted.

Castle: So! Mother... Martha: Not so loud. I'm still hoping to get lucky.

Hang on, sweetie. I just got a hit on my gray dar.

When I was your age... I can't tell that story. It's wildly inappropriate. Which, oddly, is my point. Don't you want to have wildly inappropriate stories that you can't tell your children?

Castle: "I'm your biggest fan." "Where do you get your ideas?" Alexis: And the ever popular, "Will you sign my chest?" Castle: That one I don't mind so much.

I'd be happy to let you spank me.

Castle: I'm just a gal who can't say no. I'm in a terrible fix. I always say, "Come on, let's go" Just when I ought to... Hey, kiddo! I'm just showing Burt here how we did it at the Palace. Martha: Does he know it's your theme song?

Richard Castle: It's just so senseless. Alexis Castle: Murder usually is. Richard Castle: Nope. Murder usually makes a great deal of sense. Passion, greed, politics. What's senseless here is the books the killer chose. Hell Hath No Fury? Flowers For Your Grave? My truly lesser works. Why would a psychotic fan pi...

Detective: Is all that Castle's mail? Kate: His fans love him almost as much as he loves himself.

Martha: I wish I could say I was surprised. It's my fault, really. He never had a father figure. Castle: Oh, that's not true, Mother. I had lots of father figures.

Castle: Somebody wanted Alison dead. I just have to figure out why. Alexis: If I have to keep bailing you out, you're gonna need to raise my allowance, by a lot. Martha: Mine, too.

I had some extra lights in the garage, and since you didn't put up any yourself, I thought, what the heck? Why not spread a little Christmas cheer around the neighborhood?

In my experience, innocent people do not prepare alibis.

I got a feelin' we're not in Brooklyn no more.

Cop: Ah-ha! Plumbers! Luigi: No, he is. I'm just apprenticing. But I didn't do anything! Cop: Get in the car! Mario: Are you tellin' us that you can arrest a guy for bein' a plumber? Get outta here! Cop: Get in there, plumber! Now! Mario: Hey, what is this? Luigi: What did we do? Mario: I'm gettin' arr...

I am Goro general of the armies of Outworld and prince of the subterranean realm of Shokan.

I've come to warn you that Kung Lao's descendent is competing in the tournament. You must handle him carefully.

Liu: I guess you knew it would end this way. Raiden: Didn't have a clue.

I'm in a hostile environment, I'm completely unprepared, I'm surrounded by people who probably want to kick my ass. It's like being back in high school.

Liu: All those souls, and you still don't have one of your own. I pity you, sorcerer. Shang Tsung: Save your pity for the weak.

If I did not believe in you, Liu Kang, I would not have helped you. In the black tower, you will face three challenges. You must face your enemy, you must face yourself, and you must face your worst fear.

I don't think so.

Jerry: Hello, Charley. Judy: Well, Charley, don't be rude. Shake hands. Charley: What's he doing here? Judy: I invited him over for a drink. Charley: What? Judy: I invited him over. Why? Jerry: What's the matter, Charley? Afraid I'd never come without being invited first? You're right, you're quite right...

Peter Vincent: I have just been fired because nobody wants to see vampire killers anymore, or vampires either. All they want are demented madmen in masks hacking up young virgins. If you will excuse me... Charley: I believe in vampires. Peter Vincent: That's nice. If only there had been more of you, my ratings m...

Peter: If this is your idea of a joke, I'm not amused. Charley: Mr. Vincent, I am not joking. I am deadly serious.

Charley: I'm waiting for the guy he lives with to leave, then I'm going to go next door to find his coffin and pound this through his heart. Amy: That's murder, Charley. Charley: You can't murder a vampire, Amy. They're dead. Remember?

Amy: I'll give you money. Peter: How much? Amy: A $500 savings bond. Peter: I'll take it.

I'm really, really sorry.

I'm glad you had to stop and think about it.

I mean, you thought for a minute that I would not do something that you tell me?

I won't miss it. I'll be there. I promise.

I know what's going on.

Look at you. It's Christmas Eve, and you're slaving over a hot stove. Is this the mom of the year or what?

Howard: Ted, I need to speak to my wife, so could you get her on the phone, please? Ted: I think she's in the shower. Do you want me to go check? Howard: No!

I have nothing further to teach you, Liu Kang. You possess the knowledge. All that is lacking now is the will.

In outworld, if you look hard enough, you will find another guide.

I'm not a pervert! I just was looking for a Turbo Man doll.

I got it all figured out. We all go next door to the neighbor, and you perform some kind of vampire test on him to pronounce him human. You know, like in Orgy of The Damned, where you looked in the mirror, the guy didn't have a reflection, and then you knew he was a vampire.

Yes? Yes, this is Jerry Dandridge. I see. Well, yes. Yes, of course. I'm always willing to help young people, but I'm afraid that crosses are out of the question. You see, I've been reborn recently.

Ah. Mr. Vincent, I've seen all of your films, and I've found them very amusing.

Isn't that what vampires are supposed to do, Charley?

If he's not a vampire, have him touch this.

Mall Santa: I know what you're thinking. Howard: Oh, no. You have no idea.

I gotta tell you, Santa, there is something here that doesn't seem quite... Um, kosher.

I can't believe this.

It breaks my heart.

I always tell the truth, even when I lie.

Ellie Creed: It got away from him, that numb shit. Rachel Creed: Ellen Creed!

Ellie Creed: I'm going to carry this picture, Mr. Crandall, until God lets Gage come back.

Irwin Goldman: I hope you rot in hell! Where were you when he was playing in the road? You stinking shit! You killer of children!

Ellie Creed: I had a bad dream last night. Irwin Goldman: About what? Ellie Creed: About Daddy and Gage and someone named Paxcow.

Kevin McCallister: Mom, Uncle Frank won't let me watch the movie, but the big kids can. Why can't I? Kate McCallister: Kevin, I'm on the phone. Kevin McCallister: It's not even rated R. He's just being a jerk. Kate McCallister: Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no, then it must be really bad.

Tracy: Do you know where the shampoo is, Fuller? Fuller: I don't live here.

Kevin McCallister: I don't know how to pack a suit case. I've never done this once in my whole life. Jeff McCallister: Tough. Kevin McCallister: That's what Megan said. Megan McCallister: What did I say? Jeff McCallister: You told Kevin "tough". Megan McCallister: The dope was whining about a suit case. Wh...

Kevin: I'm not an idiot! Megan: Oh, really? You're completely helpless! Everyone has to do everything for you. Jeff: She's right, Kev. Kevin: Excuse me, puke breath. I'm a lot smaller than you. I don't know how to pack a suitcase. Linnie: I hope you didn't just pack crap, Jeff. Shut up, Linnie. Kevin: Do...

This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone. Did you hear me? I'm living alone! I'm living alone!

I'm going to deck your halls, bub.

It's the Grinch! Scatter!

I'm not going back to the joint, you hear?

If there's anyone I don't want advice from right now, it's Turbo Man!

In his hand was the knurled stock of as coolly deadly-looking a piece of weaponry as ever I had laid eyes on.

I want an official red ryder carbine-action 200-shot air rifle.

Louis Creed: I'm going to bust you out, Son.

Louis Creed: It's going to be all right. I swear it's going to be all right.

Zelda: I'm coming for you, Rachel. And this time, I'll get you. Gage and I will get you for letting us die.

I'm not going to stop, Gage. I'm not going to look down.

Peter: Who is it? Evil Ed: It's me, Evil Ed. Peter: What do you want? Evil Ed: Hurry, there's a vampire out here. Let me in!

I used to admire you, you know that?. Of course, that was before I found out what a fake you were. Peter Vincent! The great vampire killer!

I... Am Peter Vincent, the great vampire killer. I am Peter Vincent, the great vampire killer. I am Peter Vincent, the great vampire killer.

Victor Pascow: It's the end of the line for me, too. I'm not allowed any further. Rachel Creed: I'm sure things will be fine. Victor Pascow: I'm not.

Charley: Is it too late to save her? Peter: No. Not if we kill Dandridge before dawn. Charley: Are you sure? Peter: So far, everything has been like it was in movies. We just have to keep hoping.

Awake. I command you to... Awake!

Gage Creed: I brought you something, Mommy. Rachel Creed: Gage. Gage Creed: I brought you something, Mommy. Rachel Creed: Oh, Gage. Gage. Gage Creed: I brought you something, Mommy.

Amy: It's not my fault, Charley. You promised you wouldn't let him get me. You promised! Charley: Amy... Amy: Haarrr!