Luc: I need some gas. Motel Owner: Ran out of gas yesterday. Refueling truck will be here in the morning.

I don't build a thing that's gonna be a slum in 20 years. And I won't doze those hills. What I build conforms to the land. And you can't hear the toilets flush next door.

I've relieved Colonel Perry of his command.

Look, if he thinks that we've failed, he's going to kill us both. You just keep working. If he asks anything, just stall him.

Alex: I drop down, grab the penguins and we are out of here. Marty: Oh, oh, let me drop down! I'll grab the penguins! Gloria: Enough! I'm gonna.... Alex: Heh heh...

I'm not doing all this for you. I'm doing it for me. You may not realize this yet, but you are one hell of a story.

I'm all ears.

I want you to know if you ever get tired of living in that toilet... you're welcome here.

I'm looking for a deserter. He's traveling with a female P.O.W.

Sam Kreutzer: I'll bet muggings are down, and they're afraid to tell us. Paul Kersey: There's only one way to find out. Take a walk on Columbus Avenue tonight. Sam Kreutzer: Thanks a lot, Paul. I think I'll wait for the official report.

By the way, I like your belt. Can I have it?

I said stand at attention, private! Get up!

Daniel: Is this the only pool you guys got here? Freddy: Yeah, that's it.

Daniel: I got an uncle Louie from Parsippany. Lady: Louie Fontini? Daniel: Louie Larusso. Lady: Louie Larusso. Daniel: Yeah. Lady: Don't know him.

Freddy: Hey, Danny. Daniel: What? What? Freddy: I think the blonde is lookin' at you. Daniel: Oh, yeah, right. Freddy: I'm serious. I think she has the hots for you, man. Daniel: Oh, who could blame her? Right, Freddy? Freddy: Oh, yeah? Then why don't you make a move? Daniel: No, I'm eatin', man. Fre...

I will fuck you up!

I will massacre you! I will fuck you up!

I'm just like a little boy, playing with his dick when he's nervous.

Kevin: It's exactly the same as in the script. Kirk: Cool. Kevin: You guys all read the script, right? Kirk: I don't read the script, script reads me. Kevin: What the hell does that even mean? What you getting at with the books, scripts? Spit that shit out, man!

In the meantime, and as usual, go fuck yourself!

Jeff: Okay, look, man. I got something to tell you. Kevin: Okay. Jeff: You know those jellybeans I was eating? Well, they weren't jellybeans, okay? They were drugs. Kevin: Really? Jeff: I get down there near the mother lode, I am done. I'm jonesing bad, man. I'm gonna fucking do all the heroin in the fucking w...

I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker!

Tugg: I have a son now. Little Half Squat. Kirk: Who in crikey fuck is Half Squat?

Tugg: I'm cold. I can't feel my legs. Kirk: No, no, they're in a puddle, mate. See? There's a puddle right there.

Imagine, my little girl, regular at last.

Link: Uh, no. uh-I was just at home, uh... practicing my new twist on the twist... and I overheard it on the news. I can't believe Tracy savagely bludgeoned an Eagle Scout. That's just not like her. Edna: Well, it's not true, I was there. He didn't even bleed. Link: I shoulda been there... beside her. I can't sle...

I'm a bad, bad girl who needs to be punished.

I think they secretly liked you.

I am now a checkerboard chick.

I think I've been in a bubble or something. Thinking that fairness was just going to happen. It's not. I think people like me are gonna have to get up... off their father's laps and go out there and fight for it.

Link: It's time. Amber: Ah! Link. Velma: Amber. Amber. Save your personal life for the cameras, sweetie. Oh! Shiny.

I think knowin' you's the start of a pretty big adventure.

Penny: Oh, no. Tracy: What? Penny: Your hair deflated. Tracy: Oh, let it. It was just a symbol of my conformity to the man. Penny: You are so tough.

Penny: Seaweed. Shh, don't let her hear you. Seaweed: Penny, what happened to you? Penny: She's punishing me for harboring a fugitive... without her permission. What are you doing? Seaweed: I'm here to rescue the fair maiden, baby. Penny: Oh, Seaweed, you do care. I was afraid the colors of our skin would ke...

Granny: I'll push him overboard, you guys say it was an accident. Manny: I'm in.

Dennis: Jimmy! I've told you 10,000 times girls drink free, dudes pay full freight. Jimmy: They are dudes.

I'm going to prison if I don't get 43 large.

I want that chubby communist girl off the show.

Johnny: It's your fault. Ali: It's not my fault. Johnny: It's your fault. Ali: Everything is your fault! Why do you have to always fight, huh? Johnny: Bullshit. Get on your bikes, guys.

Ali: I'm sorry about the soccer tryouts. Daniel: Uh, those are the breaks, you know. Ali: No, you remember that guy I had trouble with on the beach? Daniel: Oh, yeah. King karate? Ali: That was my ex-boyfriend. Daniel: Oh, that's good to know.

I ain't got no gun like this vigilante fellow. But I went to my closet, and everybody better look out for me from now on. Because I been robbed too many times. And I've had enough.

Edna: No one is auditioning for anything in this household. Tracy: But why not? Why not?! Edna: Because dancing is not your future. One day you're gonna own Edna's Occidental Laundry. Tracy: I don't wanna be a laundress. I wanna be famous! Edna: Look, if you wanna be famous... learn how to take blood outta ca...

Woaman at Party: It's probably having as much effect on the total crime picture as putting a Band Aid on a leper. Sam: I don't know about that. A mugger will think twice about who he hits. Man at Party: Sure, they hitting more old ladies, that's all.

Tracy: I also hope to be the first woman president or a Rockette. Corny: And if you were president, Tracy... what would your first official act be? Tracy: Hmm. I'd make every day Negro Day. Corny: I read you like tomorrow's headlines, Tracy.

Velma: Well. Mrs. Turnblad. I'd know whose mother you were anywhere. Edna: Really? Tracy: Hello, Amber. Amber: Hello, Tracy.

Velma: Incredible! I could do a fan dance with a lettuce leaf... and you would remain completely obtuse. Wilbur: Obtuse? Velma: Yes, obtuse. Wilbur: I flunked geometry. Velma: Yeah, well-and biology too, no doubt!

Amber: I lost, Mom. Let's just deal with it. Velma: No, you did not lose. You cannot have lost... because I switched the damn tallies. Edna: Smile, Miss Crabmeat. You're on Candid Camera. Wilbur: That was a good shot, don't you think?

Penny: I don't even know why we have this room down here... but there's food, water... first aid kit, gas mask, Russian-language books. Tracy: It's very well-insulated.

You don't get it, you see, if you don't help me out on this one, I'm not ever gonna give you your money back.

I've fallen and I can't get up! We're sending help immediately Mrs Fletcher

I don't know, I think she's beautiful. I'd say she's beautiful. I think she's beautiful. I think she's somethin' else. She's hot. Definitely hot.

I hate this place! I hate it. I just want to go home! Why can't we just go back home?

Lucille: I cannot help you unless you tell me what's wrong. Daniel: I got to take karate, that's it!

Daniel: I just remembered I got to-- I got to... I--I--I forgot something. So I'll catch up with you guys in a minute. Ali: Daniel, you don't have to run away. Daniel: I'm not running away from anything. Ali: Hey, look, we've got to deal with this. Daniel: You deal with things your way, I'll deal with them m...

Ali: It's just that he thinks he can do whatever he wants to people. Daniel: Who? Ali: Johnny. Daniel: Oh. Ali: I'd love to see him get a dose of his own medicine. Daniel: Well, you know, what goes around comes around. Ali: Yeah, I'd love to be there when it does. Daniel: Me, too.

I don't wanna be a laundress. I wanna be famous!

I believe that it is naturally stiff.

Penny: Go on. Get out there and show 'em. Tracy: It's packed pretty tight. OK. Penny: I'll go in front of you and I'll push.

It's gonna take cash to fill my tank. So let's crack open your piggy bank.

I call this the hot-dog tree. Because, well, it's a hot-dog tree.

Isn't anyone even the slightest bit interested in how this little bitch knew about Jerry?

Daniel: It stinks, man. What is this? Miyagi: Smell bad, heal good.

Kreese: I hear you jumped some of my students last night. Miyagi: Afraid the facts mixed up. Kreese: Are you calling Mr. Lawrence a liar? Miyagi: No call no one nothing. Kreese: What are you here for, old man? Miyagi: Come ask leave boy alone. Kreese: What's the matter? The boy can't take care of his own...

Ali: I'm gonna go find that idiot, Daniel. It's gonna stop. Daniel: No, relax. Everything's been taken care of. Ali: Oh, yeah. Until next time? Daniel: No, there isn't gonna be a next time.

Lucille: Hi, kids. Boy: Hey, mommy, can Daniel come for a ride? I really like your car, Mrs. Larusso.

Dutch: I knew these men. Green Berets out of Fort Bragg. Now, what the hell were they doing here? Dillon: I don't know, Dutch. This is inhuman. Nobody told me there was an operation in this area. They shouldn't have been here. Dutch: But somebody sent them.

Dutch: I can't believe that Jim Hopper walked into an ambush. Billy: I don't believe he did. I can't find a single track. Just doesn't make sense.

Poncho: You're hit. You're bleeding, man. Blain: I ain't got time to bleed.

Dutch: Don't. Leave it. It didn't kill you because you weren't armed. No sport.

Um... Johnny. Can we go back to the point now? I'll even let you fondle my breasts.

Chris: Who's that? JC: Who's what? Chris: Her. The vision. The angel, the goddess. The one with the Hogans? Yeah, who is she? JC: I think that's the Morton Salt girl. How the hell should I know?

Ron Burgundy: I did see. That was a terrific little spill. That's quite a raspberry. Steve Graff: That's my chopper you just thrashed, Broseph. Ron Burgundy: Easy, compadre. I'm your friend out here, all right? Steve Graff: I want you to fix my chopper before I stomp your goofy ass! Ron Burgundy: If you want...

Chris: This is it. I think-- I think I can possibly be in love here. JC: You realize there's only one way this girl is ever gonna take you seriously. Chris: Right. If I belong to a frat. Preferably this one. JC: I was thinking more along the lines of talking to her.

I'm bein' your goddamn slave, is what I'm being, man. Now we made a deal here.

I didn't know you were a singer. How're you doing, Mr. Miyagi?

Daniel: Is this your wife? Miyagi: Hmm. Daniel: I didn't know you were married. Miyagi: Ah. Damn beautiful, don't you think? Daniel: Yeah, she's pretty. Miyagi: Oh, first time I saw her was cane field, Hawaii. Beautiful. Damn good cane cutter, too. Hmm. Daniel: Where is she now?

It's like you take someone while they're alive and you freeze them. Then you thaw them out a hundred years later like a TV dinner. We are talking total science-fiction here.

JC: So fuck you. Chris: Yeah, well, fuck you too. JC: You try it. Chris: You would let me. JC: You'd want me to. Chris: You wish. JC: Are we done? Chris: I'm sorry I was an asshole. JC: If you weren't such an asshole, even girls might like you. Chris: Ha, ha.

Brad: That was not too cool, bros. JC: Hi, Brad. Brad: Okay, so we put you up to it. But we said the Phi Omega Gamma house, not the Kappa Delta sorority. Do you know the difference? Chris: It's all Greek to me. That was a little joke. I was kidding.

Well, well, well. If it isn't Spanky and Alfalfa.

I personally would rather have my brains invaded by creatures from space than pledge a fraternity.

If we used a different stretcher for every piece, we'd be here all night.

Chris. There's one inside me. It got in through my mouth. I can feel it. It's in my brain. I don't have a pulse or a heartbeat. I think I'm dead. I killed one. I lit a match to it. I think fire will kill them. I've gone to the furnace room, the basement. If I don't come back... Heat will kill them. I walked, Chris. ...

It's Miller time.

Fan 1: It's Abraham Lincoln! Fan 2: Can I have your autograph, Mr. Lincoln? Oh, thank you so much. I'm such a big fan of yours, Abraham.

Vance: I'm starving. Pee-wee: Hmm. Ah. Lunch with Winnie.

I let you win. Besides, you cheated. You have more legs than me.

Pee-wee: Alone at last. Winnie: I made your favorite. Pee-wee: Fried chicken. Winnie: No. Pee-wee: Hamburgers? Winnie: No, your favorite, Pee-wee. Pee-wee: Cheese sandwich! Winnie: No. Pee-wee: I know. Turkey à la king. Winnie: No. Pee-wee: Vegetarian plate? Winnie: No. Pee-wee: Shepherd's pi...

I'm so awfully hungry. I'm sure you two beautiful ladies wouldn't mind letting me go ahead of you.

I'm sorry, ladies. I guess you'll just have to wait. You remember, no one is as important in this community as Pee-wee Herman. All you other shoppers will just have to play second fiddle to Pee-wee. I guess, that's just the way things are around here. My whole purpose in life is to serve Pee-wee Herman, and everythi...

Mace: Is this your farm, kid? Pee-wee: Yep. I'm Pee-wee Herman. Mace: Mace Montana, manager of the Cabrini Circus. Pee-wee: Nice to meet you, Mr. Montana.

Pee-wee: I've got a first-aid kit in my house, Mr. Montana. Mace: Get going, kid.

I'd love a shred of privacy. Just a shred. You know? Is that too much to ask?

Gina: I like it very much around here. It's very beautiful. Pee-wee: So are you. Gina: Thank you. You are so sweet. Pee-wee: I know you are, but what am I? Gina: Pee-wee. Pee-wee: Say it, don't spray it!

Trudy: If you can't make it Saturday, I will reschedule. It's going to happen. And I promise you'll have a good time. Don: It's too bad your husband can't close a deal like this. Trudy: We both know he's doing just fine. 7:30.

Pee-wee: I'm on my way to a career in agriculture. I hope to be the next George Washington Carver. Do you know who George Washington Carver was, Mace? Mace: Yes, I do. The first president of the United States. Pee-wee: No. He was a scientist.

Megan: You should slow down. Don: I'm timing this for when we arrive. I want to hit the doorbell with my chin.

I'm going to take a bite out of that broad's bazoo if she doesn't get over here now.

It's like they all got up on the wrong side of the bed.

Winnie: He missed our lunch today, and I wanted to bring him his egg-salad sandwich. Brothers: Mmm. Our favorite.

Mace: I'll tell you what kind of snow, Showball. Snowball. A show that'll stand the world on its ear. A show that'll make them all stand up and cheer. Snowball: A show that will knock them all down on their rear! Gina: Quiet down, Snowball. Mace is sincere. Mace: That's right. What I got is a brand-new idea. It...

Pete: I'm not gonna pretend it's not a big deal to us that you came out. Don: Oh, come on. We're long overdue.

Jaguar Exec: I'll be honest with you, Lane. I haven't a complaint in the world. Lane: Well, that's too bad, isn't it?

Gina: Mace. Mace: Morning, Gina. Gina: I had the most wonderful idea about the new farm theme. Pee-wee: Hi, Gina. Gina: But suddenly, I feel so sick to my stomach that I can't even talk.

I... have this friend... who has a bit of a problem.

I'm too drunk for you to drive.

Pete: Roger, I believe this is your opportunity to shine. Roger: You know what? I have a friend who's having a party right around the corner. Jaguar Exec: Oh. I like parties.

Pete: I'm sorry you weren't feeling well. Don: I'm feeling fine. Pete: So why do I feel like I'm riding with a nun? Don: I didn't say anything. Pete: I mean, you of all people.

Pete: I suppose there are no stern looks for Roger. Don: Roger is miserable. I didn't think you were. Pete: I have it all. Wait till your honeymoon is over. Don: Look, I'm just trying to tell you because I am who I am and I've been where I've been that you don't get another chance at what you have. Pete: Bra...

I can't believe the hours I've put into helping you become the monster you've become.

Lane: It was my account! Pete: Your account? You have no idea what you're doing. In fact, as far as I can tell, our need for you disappeared the day after you fired us.

I know cooler heads should prevail, but am I the only one who wants to see this?

Don: Megan came to New York as an actress. Megan: If trying to be an actress is being an actress.

I don't know about you two, but I had Lane.

Lane: I just seem to find no end to my humiliation today... I'm sorry. Joan: About what? Everyone in this office has wanted to do that to Pete Campbell.

I'll tell you what you are. You're the lowest of the low. Even lower than that.

Pee-wee: I know I deserve this, okay? Gina: I'll tell you what you deserve, Mr. Loverboy.

I have nothing, Don.

I think we should go back to riding horses.

I promised Pee-wee I'd help him find an act. He wants to be in the circus so badly, Mace.

I know one thing, major. I drew down and fired straight at it. Capped off 200 rounds in the mini-gun, full pack. Nothin'. Nothin' on this earth could've lived, not at that range.

I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.

I'm a policeman.

It belonged to a great man, Pee-wee. Papa Piccolapupula. He was the greatest aerialist that ever lived. Until one day he performed the spiral of death. And... Well, now he's the greatest aerialist that ever died.

I never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light.

Shane: I never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light. They're born thinking the switch only goes one way... On. They're struck blind the second they leave a room. I mean every woman, I ever let have a key... I swear to God. It's like I... come home, house is all lit up, and my job, you see, apparently... beca...

In other words, you're screwed.

I can get you out there Reggie. I can reach outta here and pull your fucking heart out.

It's an M-Class planet. Population, 300 million.

Don't worry, I'll come and visit you in about five or six years.

Reggie: Hey man let's get the hell outta here. Bus Driver: We got a schedule. Reggie: Hey fuck that! Hey man I'm a free man, now. I'm not on the State's time no more. Bus Driver: Write a letter.

County Sheriff: Keep on him, Art. I'll be right back. Reggie: Oh great, I got to spend my first day out with Art the goddamn redneck.

Hey, that's one lucky guy. You know, I'd like to follow him around a racetrack. You know what I mean?

Oh Jesus Christ, look man, I've been having a fucked-up day and the last thing I wanted to see was you.

Hey man, back up. I'm not the one that hired these hillbillies, so don't come complaining to me, OK.

In view of our losses to the Borg and the Dominion, the Council feels we need all the allies we can get these days.

Jack: I didn't think you'd stick around. Reggie: If you think I'm happy about being here you can guess again alright. I'm supposed to be free man with money in my pocket, get on with my life, the last thing I wanted to do was get tied to your big dumb white ass again.

I ain't working for you, I don't like you and I don't trust you.

I'm driving. Your got a fucked up arm and I'm not getting in another wreck. I, unlike you, have a lot to live for.

I always wanted a chauffeur, Reggie.

Seven years in prison you remember every story about pussy you ever heard.

Jack: Are you gonna tell me what happened or are you gonna bitch a little more. Girl Bartender: I'm gonna bitch a little more.

Picard: I'm going to ask Worf to delay his return to DS9 so that he can join us. We're gonna stop by Sector 441 on our way to the Goren system. Geordi: They are in opposite directions, sir. Picard: Are they?

I never should have let you talk me into that duck blind in the first place. Your Federation procedures have made this mission ten times as difficult as it needed to be.

Reggie: If you don't want do it, fuck it. Guy in Bar: You got a deal. Reggie: I figured I had a deal.

Girl Bartender: Hey aren't you suppose to be writing all this down? Jack: I gotta photographic memory..

Reggie: That is of unless of course you offer me a little bribe, and I'll go out there and I'll tell him you was a bit too fast for me. Pickpocket: I am too fast for you.

I'm kicking two years out of your ass, Cates!

I prefer to wait until we can share the benefits with all the people of the Federation.

If our first attempt to capture Data fails, I will terminate him. I should be the one to do it. I'm his captain and his friend.

Jack: Welcome back Reg. Reggie: Get the fuck off me man. I ain't no fucking convict no more. I'm free man. An you, you're about an inch away from where I was yesterday. You ain't running jack shit, OK.

I don't wanna get into a bar fight. People always get into bar fights, it's a dam cliche.

Worf: If we fire tachyon bursts, it might force him to reset his shield harmonics. When he does, we can beam him out. Picard: Make it so.

Worf: Inertial coupling is exceeding tolerance. If we do not release him, he may destroy both vessels. Picard: I'm not letting go of him.

Daniel: I just don't know if I know enough karate. Miyagi: Feeling correct. Daniel: Oh, you sure know how to make a guy feel confident. Miyagi: Daniel-san, you trust quality what you know, not quantity.

Daniel: I just wanted to apologize. Ali: Fine. You apologized.

Daniel: I don't have much of a cheering section. Ali: You got me.

Reggie: I was in the bathroom taking care of some business and I had to come out and save your ass. Jack: Ah, I didn't need your help. Reggie: Hey I was not helping you, I was protecting my money.

I'm a hang, Jack. I'm a hang and we're gonna straighten this shit out. But let me tell you something man, ...if you hit me again, if you grab me... if you touch me, ...if your hand brush up against me lightly... I'm gonna kill you Jack. I'm serious.

Oh don't worry about your funeral. If the Iceman gets you, we won't even find your body.

Let me tell you something, Jack. If shit was worth something, poor people would be born with no asshole.

Well, hey, man, I warned you about dealing with these crazy ass crackers.

I apologize for our intrusion.

I need a little counseling.

Troi: Yuck! Riker: Yuck? Troi: I never kissed you with a beard before. Riker: I kiss you and you say "yuck"?

Geordi: I had to reconstruct Data's neural net and replace these. They contain memory engrams. Picard: How were they damaged? Geordi: By a Son'a weapon. There's no doubt about it, Captain. That's what caused Data to malfunction. Picard: But the Son'a report claims that they didn't fire until after he malfuncti...

I won't need any more genetic manipulation if our Federation friends will allow us to complete this mission.

I believe I know what is causing the neutrino emissions.

Yeah, well, you--you trust, you trust that billion-dollar satellite! I'll trust a $10 snitch at this point.

Castor: If I didn't love you so damn much, I'd have to kill you, Bro. Pollux: I hate it when you call me, "Bro."

If I were to send you flowers, where would I... No, wait. Let me rephrase. If I were to let you suck my tongue, would you be grateful?

Castor: I'm about to unleash the biblical plague "Hell-A" deserves. But I'll give this shithole a break if my brother and I walk. Sean: Bullshit.

In the event of a water landing, I have been designed to serve as a floatation device.

Riker: Smooth as an android's bottom, eh, Data? Data: I beg your pardon, sir?

In fact, they're better than fine. Increased metabolism, improved muscle tone, high energy. We should all be so lucky.

Yo man, I got to get the hell out of here or I'm a do a homicide. The deal is off.

Picard: I wish I could spare a few centuries to learn. Anij: It took us centuries to learn that it doesn't have to take centuries to learn.

I wonder if you're aware of the trust you engender, Jean-Luc Picard.

Picard: I won't let you move them, Admiral. I will take this to the Federation Council. Dougherty: I'm acting on orders from the Federation Council. Picard: How can there be an order to abandon the Prime Directive?

I'm in the middle of an interrogation, this moron is giving me everything.

I can't think beyond my presentation.

I come all the way up here to make love. Half the time you don't want to and then you just do it to get it over with.

I'm your boyfriend, not a focus group. Have a shitty day.

Peggy: I just had the same conversation. Michael: No, I think they were different because yours was private.

It would take 10 years of normal exposure to begin to reverse their condition. Some of them won't survive that long.

I'm ordering you to the Goren system. I'm also ordering the release of the Son'a officers. File whatever protests you wish to, Captain. By the time you do, this will all be done.

I'm going to miss these little flesh-stretching sessions of ours, my dear.