Joel Cairo: I don't know what to say. Det. Dundy: Try telling the facts. Joel Cairo: What? Facts?

I didn't want to become first brother, especially for the rest of my life.

I couldn't control that. I couldn't control being brother of the President of the United States.

It's a black figure, as you know, smooth and shiny-- a bird, a hawk, a falcon-- about that high.

I don't know. They wouldn't tell me. They offered me £500 if I'd help them get it away from the man who had it.

If you guys are gonna go out this year, you're gonna go out trying.

Nick, hey buddy, I think we're gonna make it. I got elves in the Workshop making presents right now.

I hope you know I've always done my best to make you happy.

Gwen DiMarco: It makes no logical sense! Why is it here? Jason Nesmith: 'Cause it's on the television show! Gwen DiMarco: Well, forget it! I am not doing it! This episode was badly written!

I can't move. I can't, Fred.

I'm going to be a father?

I'm going to be a father. Yeah. I feel like my heart's going to burst.

I can't do that, Nick. I think you know that.

Tom:If it's a boy, it's $1,000, a girl, $500. Pete: I'll do what I can do.

I'm not capable. I'm not even comfortable flying or you know, being a passenger, let alone trying to fly the sleigh. I don't know my way around reindeer

It's ridiculous for anybody to expect that kind of thing. No.

It's too huge. Believe me, I know.

Quellek: It has been my greatest honor to serve with you. I have been blessed, sir. I... Sir Alexander Dane: Don't speak, Quellek.

Clyde, if you don't get out of the way of this sleigh in three seconds you're gonna make me the happiest guy in the North Pole.

I scratched your back, Bruce. I scratched it good and hard. Now, either you scratch my back or you're gonna get my size ten boot up your ass!

I'm glad you called. Listen. I have Bobby the Baboon in lockup, and he says that for twenty bananas he'll provide evidence Johnny Chimpo is the pimp in charge of the Cartoon Network whorehouse.

I'm not gonna lie to you. It ain't gonna tickle.

It's hard to pass these beauties up. You're too generous.

It all starts with what you make of yourself.

I knew this was gonna happen.

In the war, we just lost a lot of friends, but you're kind of set for it. You're geared to it.

I'd wanna stand shoulder to shoulder with you and kill those guys.

Walt: I know you don't wanna hear this, but now's the time to stay calm. Thao: Calm? You want me to be calm? Walt: We stay calm or else mistakes get made.

It's the first time I've ever smoked in the house. Let a man enjoy himself, would you, girl?

I was never very close with my two sons. I don't know them. I didn't know how.

I shot him in the face with that rifle you were holding in there a while ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it, and you don't want that on your soul.

I'm telling you, if we're not here, there will be bloodshed.

I got nothing to say to you, shrimp-dick midget like you.

I knew really nothing about life or death until I got to know Walt. And, boy, did I learn.

Al: I'm real sorry about Dorothy, Walt. She was a real peach. Walt: Thanks for coming, Al.

I want to show you something.

It always stops at one on the show. Um... What were you saying?

I won't go back there.

I got an idea. Wait a minute.

Effie: Is she in any danger, Sam? Sam: I think she is. Effie: Gee, that would scare mom into a green hemorrhage.

Effie: I'd have to say she's a surprise witness or something you're keeping under cover until the last minute. Sam: You're a darling.

Farva: I don't want a large Farva. I want a goddamn liter of cola! Dimpus Burger Guy: I don't know what that is! Farva: Liter is French... For "Give me some fuckin' cola before I break both fuckin' lips."

I was mad, Sam. I wanted to hurt you.

I got a good feelin' about this. Damn it, you burger punk! You son of a bitch!

I'm sorry about the delousing, Rod. Standard procedure.

Chief Grady: I'm sorry about the delousing, Rod. Standard procedure. Farva: It's powdered sugar. Chief Grady: The lice hate the sugar. Listen, Rod... Farva: It's delicious. Chief Grady: Uh, good. Good.

I'll be lucky to have a figure like that when I'm her age.

I hate to break up the "like-fest," but it's prime time for crime-time!

Oh, goddamn, I remember these things being lighter! I think I'm gonna drop a nut!

I'm so happy you're happy.

Pete: I don't know. It feels much different than I expected. Trudy: How would you know what this feels like?

Dr. Miller: I like to be able to correct it in front of the girls. It makes them trust me. Don: Because your name is spelled wrong? Dr. Miller: Because I'm obviously not that important.

As I said, my name is Faye. I don't have a name tag. I guess they forgot about me.

They got mine wrong. I'm Dotty. I mean I'm not a dotty person. That's my name.

Better and better. I distrust a close-mouthed man. He generally picks the wrong time to talk and says the wrong things.

I don't trust a man who says he's not.

Gutman: If they don't know, I'm the only one in the whole wide sweet world who does. Sam: Swell. When you told me, that'll make 2 of us.

No, no. I don't think we can do business along those lines.

I'm telling you now, you'll talk to me today or you are through! What are you wasting my time for? I can get along without you.

I'm a sworn officer of the law 24 hours a day, and neither formality nor informality justifies you withholding evidence of crime from me.

I need you to help me make a fake movie.

Good work. Now, if you want to go to the board and tell them I'm obstructing justice and ask them to revoke my license, hop to it.

I'll see you at the inquest, maybe.

Gutman; I owe you an apology, sir. Sam: Never mind that.

Sam: I imagine they were pretty well fixed. Gutman: Pretty well is putting it mildly. They were rolling in wealth, sir.

It never reached Spain. A famous admiral of buccaneers took the knights' galley and the bird.

It had by that time acquired a coat of black enamel, so that it looked nothing more than a fairly interesting black statuette.

In that disguise, sir, it was, as you may say, kicked around Paris for over threescore years by private owners too stupid to see what it was under the skin.

I'm a man not easily discouraged when I want something.

I don't see how you can honestly grant anyone else a clear title to it, except by right of possession.

I will rape you if I get the chance.

I've been hiding in a doorway up the street. I thought you'd never come.

I'm in this up to my neck, Gutman. I've got to find somebody, a victim when the time comes. If I don't, I'll be it.

If you're really serious about this, the least we can do in common politeness is to hear you out.

I think we're flying blind up here.

If you kill me, how are you going to get the bird? And if I know you can't afford to kill me, how are you gonna scare me into giving it to you?

If you start something, I'll make it a matter of your having to kill me or call it off.

'Cause as you know, sir, in the heat of action, men are likely to forget where their best interests lie and let their emotions carry them away.

In many ways, the conference was difficult, but we finally persuaded Miss O'Shaughnessy to come to terms, or so we thought.

It was neatly done, sir. Indeed, it was.

Sam: You palmed it. Gutman: Yes, sir, that I did. I must have my little joke now and then.

I was curious to know what you would do in a situation of this sort. I must say you passed the test with flying colors.

It's the sort of the thing I'd expect from somebody Wilmer's age.

Gutman: I'd like to give you a word of advice. Sam: Go ahead.

I daresay you're going to give her some money, but if you don't give her as much as she thinks she ought to have, my word of advice is "be careful."

Gutman: It's almost daylight, Mr. Spade. Can you start getting it now? Sam: I guess so.

I'm sorry to get you up so early. Now, listen carefully, here's the plot. In the holland box at the post office, there's an envelope with my scrawl.

In that envelope, there's a parcel-room check for the bundle we got yesterday. Uh-huh. Now get that bundle and bring it here P.D.Q. That's a good girl. Now, hustle. Good-bye.

It's fake. It's a phony. It's lead. It's lead. It's a fake!

I'm going with you.

Gutman: I must ask you for that envelope. Sam: I held up my end. You got your dingus. It's your hard luck, not mine, it wasn't what you wanted.

Gutman: Now that there's no alternative, I daresay you'll manage the police without a fall guy. Sam: I'll make out all right. Gutman: Well, sir, the shortest farewells are best. Adieu.

I fear that I had a very incorrect misguided understanding of naughty children.

I'm gonna need you to turn the power back on, Superman.

If Fred doesn't deliver all those presents by sunrise, the North Pole will be shut down forever.

I'm gonna tuck and go as fast as I can, all right?

I knew once he'd seen where we were, we couldn't stay......so I brought us here......but Ron got splinched.

You know, it's getting like to be sort of restraining order time.

Incendio.

I'm not letting go. I got you in a death grip. I'm not letting go.

In the Chamber of Secrets, you stabbed the Basilisk with the sword of Gryffindor. Its blade is impregnated with Basilisk venom.

Harry: It only takes in that which makes it stronger. Hermione: Exactly, which is why- Harry: It can destroy Horcruxes. Hermione: That's why Dumbledore left it to you in his will.

Harry: I thought you knew what you signed up for. Ron: Yeah. I thought I did too.

I just thought, after all this time......we would've actually achieved something. I thought you knew what you were doing. I thought Dumbledore would've told you something worthwhile.

I thought if he knew someone was following him, he'd be frightened into going away.

I told him. Yes, but please believe me, Sam, I wouldn't have told him if I thought Floyd would kill him.

I hope they don't hang you, precious, by that sweet neck.

If they hang you, I'll always remember you.

I was frightened for a minute. I really thought... you do such wild and unpredictable things.

I have no earthly reason to think I can trust you, and if I do this and get away with it, you'll have something on me that you can use whenever you want to.

I'll have some rotten nights after I've sent you over, but that'll pass.

I won't because all of me wants to, regardless of consequences, and because you've counted on that with me, the same as you've counted on that with all the others.

I'll make sure to tell your son all about it.

I'm going back to LA.

I'm Agent Neville Flynn, FBI.

I've been doing this for a while, so I know all kinds of neat little interrogation tricks.

I won't go in a kid's room! You can't make me!

I need scarers like... like... James P. Sullivan.

Sully: I don't believe I ordered a wake-up call, Mikey. Mike: Hey! Less talk, more pain, marshmallow boy! Feel the burn! You call yourself a monster?

I don't know, but it's been said I love scaring kids in bed!

Sully: I'm not even breaking a sweat. Mike: Not you!

It's your mom. Ha Ha! What can I say? The camera loves me.

Mike: I'm telling you, big daddy you're going to be seeing this face on TV a lot more often. Sully: Yeah? Like, on Monstropolis' Most Wanted?

Mike: I will see you at quitting time and not a minute later. Celia: Okay, sweetheart. Mike: Think romantical thoughts.

I wasn't scared. I have... allergies.

I'm in the zone today, Sullivan. Going to be doing some serious scaring. Putting up some big numbers.

Mike: Yes, well, I'll, uh... I'll try to be less careless. Roz: I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching.

Randall: If I don't see a new door at my station in five seconds I will personally put you through the shredder! Fungus: Ahh!

Charlie: I love working with that big guy. George Sanderson: Keep the doors coming, Charlie. I'm on a roll today.

Henry J. Waternoose: Well... Say, I could use your help with something. Sully: Anything, sir.

Mike: I've never seen anything like you today. You were on a roll, my man. Sully: Another day like this and that scare record's in the bag. Mike: That's right, baby! Sully: Uh-huh.

I have eyes for only one woman, the woman I asked to be my wife.

Mike: I was? I mean, I was! Yeah, I was. Celia: Oh, okay. Let's go then.

Mike: I like everything about you. Celia: Ah! Mike: Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful monster was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said? Celia: What did you say?

Mike: I said... Sulley? Celia: Sulley?

I wonder what's good here. Hmm.

If there's anything like you say on my grounds, we'll have them removed.

I went back to get your paperwork and there was a door.

Mike: I have to do something! Celia: Michael?

Sully: I think she's getting tired. Mike: Well, then why don't you find someplace for it to sleep?

It's just a closet. Will you go to sleep?

Sully: See? Boo: Ah! Sully: No monster in here. Well, now there is but I'm not going to scare you. I'm off-duty.

It's fine. It's okay. Look, it loves it here! It's dancing with joy!

I did a simple calculation factoring in the size of the sushi restaurant. The child may have escaped!

Mike: It's a musical! Put that thing back where it came from or so help me Sully: Bom-bom, bom-bom, bom-bom... Mike: So help me, so help me. And cut!

I don't believe it. She got away from you again?! Well, that is just... Wait a minute. The sun is coming up. This is perfect!

Celia: I thought you cared about me. Mike: Honey, please. Schmoopsie, I thought you liked sushi. Celia: Sushi? Sushi?!! You think this is about sushi?!

I can't believe we are waltzing right up to the factory. Sulley, a mop, a couple of lights and some chair fabric are not going to fool anyone!

I think sh-she-- sh-she-- sh-she likes you.

You know, I have no idea.

Is that our plane?

Cleopatra: I don't like to ask, but may I have the loan of another 1,000 francs until my money from Paris arrives? Hans: With pleasure, fraulein.

Well, apparently FAA Section 108 states, "If deemed necessary, they can do whatever they want."

I was hoping you'd be the sky candy on this flight.

I love it when you demean me, Rick.

I'm through wasting my time and money on things like you!

It's a funny thing about you women. Most of you don't get wise soon enough. You wait until you're so old, nobody wants you.

Sir Alexander Dane: What? Guy Fleegman: I'm just jazzed about being on the show, man.

I'm actually spending nights in bed with my wife.

I'm right in the middle of a bidding war with this punk-ass kid from Iowa for this black velvet... Pamela Anderson poster.

I can't go out there, and I won't say that stupid line one more time!

I am about to revolutionize the scaring industry and when I do, even the great James P. Sullivan is going to be working for me.

I had a swell dream about you last night.

If you let me go, I'll give you... a ride in the car.

I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.

I was going for a snake/ninja approach with a little hissing.

I'm sorry you boys got mixed up in this. Especially you, James. But now we can set everything straight again for the good of the company.

I know, I know. It's yours.

It's too late! We're banished, genius. We're in the human world!

I'm a nice guy.

The Abominable Snowman: I haven't even mentioned all the free yak's milk. Sully: What... what did you say? The Abominable Snowman: Yak's milk.

The Abominable Snowman: It's at the bottom of the mountain. Around a three-day hike. Sully: Oh, three days?! We need to get there now!

I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry we're stuck out here. I didn't mean for this to happen.

Sully: I think there might be a way to save her if we can just get down to that... Mike: "We"? Whoa, whoa, whoa. "We"?

If-if-if you want to go out there and freeze to death you be my guest... because you're on your own.

Waternoose: I never should have trusted you with this. Because of you, I had to banish my top scarer! Randall: With this machine, we won't need scarers.

Sully: I'm being attacked! Mike: No, I'm not attacking you.

I'm trying to be honest. Just hear me out.

I hope that hurt, lizard boy!

It's like throwing gasoline on a flame.

Smitty: I bet we get the rest of the day off. Needleman: You idiot! They're going to shut down the factory!

I'm telling you, pal, when that wall went up you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face. Whoo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape.

It isn't a rune, and it isn't anywhere in Spellman's Syllabary. Somebody inked it in. It isn't part of the book. Somebody drew.

Hermione: I think it's possible something else is hidden there. Harry: What? Hermione: The sword.

If Dumbledore wanted you to find it, but didn't want it in the Ministry's hands......where better to hide it than the birthplace of the founder of Gryffindor?

I don't know what's in there, but it'll put up a fight. The bit of Riddle that was in that diary tried to kill me.

It's a decoration. It's all fake. Just like me.

It's difficult to explain. On our planet, we... We pretend to entertain and...

Bearded Lady: A girl. Phroso: Oh, boy, that's great, and it's going to have a beard.

I d-don't want those tr-tramps you go with hanging around my wife.

I can do anything with my mouth!

If you're a good girl when I get to Paris, I'm gonna buy you a big hat with a long, beautiful feather on it.

I don't mind telling you I've wanted to do this for a long time.

I don't know how to say it, how to make you understand.

If you could be happy, Hans, I would not care.

I love her! They can't hurt me.

I even could kiss you, you big, homely brute!

I'll be soon back, my little. Don't be lonely.

Grandpa: Isn't that a wonderful beginning? Grandson: Yeah, it's really good.

Buttercup: I fear I'll never see you again. Westley: Of course you will.