Cop: "This is a raid!" Ted: "No, no no no I was peeing!" Man1: "That's what I was doing, I was just peeing." Man2: "I was peeing too." Cop: "Yeah, I'm sure you're all just pissing."
"I am haunted by waters."
"This is New York. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere."
Woman: "How do you write women so well?" Melvin: "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."
"But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, ...
"Is it secret? Is it safe?"
"If you want him, come and claim him."
"If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will."
"I know what I must do, but I'm afraid to do it."
"Is there any hope, Gandalf, for Frodo and Sam?"
"I would have you smile again, not grieve for those whose time has come."
"I am The Architect. I created The Matrix. I've been waiting for you."
"Is this a kissing book?"
"I find I'm so excited I can barely sit still, or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at the start of a long journey who's conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blu...
"I know what I must do, but I'm afraid to do it."
"I look at you and I… I'm home."
"Hop inside my mouth if you want to live."
"Are you incapable of restraining yourself, or do you take pride in being an insufferable know-it-all?"
"Son, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?"
Julia: "I puked." Robbie: "All right, don't worry." Julia: "I vomited in my hair."
Nicholas Andre: "Where's all the money?" Lloyd: "That's as good as money sir, those are IOU's. Go ahead and add it up every cents accounted for. Look, see this that's a car, 275 thou might want to hang on to that one."
Spectator: "It's about time." Happy: "Yeah, it is about time. I just couldn't get the ball in the hole. I wanted to, but I just couldn't do it." (Happy punches spectator)
Happy: "Hey what are you doing now? You want to get some food?" Virginia: "Oh, no thanks. I don't date golfers." Happy: "Oh, good, because I'm a hockey player."
"I'm afraid he might pull the stiff one-eye on me."
"Look, you... I'm very intelligent, if you're gonna give me hope you gotta do better than your doing. I mean, if you can't be at least mildly interesting then shut the hell up! I mean, I'm drowning here, and you're describing the water!"
Simon: "I love you." Melvin: "I tell you, buddy... I'd be the luckiest man alive if that did it for me."
"I've got the whole trip programmed. [plays YMCA on the radio] I'm just kidding. I wanted to see what you'd do. No, seriously, we got good stuff here. [plays some Van Morrison]"
"I like you Betty…"
Sandy McFiddish: "I want you to kill every gopher on the course." Carl Spackler: "It's not my fault nobody can understand what you're saying."
"Ah, this is the worst lookin' hat I ever saw! I bet you buy a hat like this you get a free bowl of soup, huh?...Oh it looks good on you, though."
Al: "I think this place is restricted Wang, so don't tell 'em your Jewish, okay?" Mr. Wang: "Fine."
Al: "I bet you a hundred bucks you slice it into the woods." Judge Smails: "Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir, and I never slice. Damn!" Al: "Okay you can owe me." Smails: "I owe you nothing!"
Ty: "Is this your place Carl?" Carl: "Yeah, what do ya think?" Ty: "It's really awful."
"It's a little harsh."
Al: "I don't understand it, I'm playing the worst game of my life." Ty: "You're not good, you stink."
Clark W. Griswold: "It's not big, it's just... full." Russell 'Rusty' Griswold: "Dad, that thing wouldn't fit in our yard!" Clark W. Griswold: "It's not going in our yard Russ, it's going in our living room."
"I give you the Griswold family Christmas tree. [Clark cuts the tree loose and a huge crash follows] Lot a sap in here. Looks great! Little full, lot a sap."
"Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I wa...
Tyler Durden: "Did you know if you mixed equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate, you can make napalm?" Norton Character: "No, I did not know that. Is that true?" Tyler: "That's right. One can make all kinds of explosives using simple household items." Norton Character: "Really?" Tyler: "If one w...
"It's only after we've lost everything, that we are free to do anything."
"It was beautiful, we were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them."
"I'm not paying this back, I consider it asshole tax."
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:"I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be sir. Do you maggots understand that?" Recruits: "Sir, yes sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Bullshit I can't hear you. S...
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (R. Lee Ermey): "I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be sir. Do you maggots understand that?" Recruits: "Sir, yes sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Bullshit I c...
"Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will PT you all until you fucking die. I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermi...
"Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you been cheated!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Do you suck dicks?" Cowboy: "Sir, no sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Are you a peter puffer?" Cowboy: "Sir, no sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "I'll bet you're the kinda guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll ...
"Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fucking seconds, to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you."
Joker: "Leonard, if Hartman comes in here and catchs us, we'll both be in a world of shit." Pyle: "I am in a world of shit."
Liz: Why do you have a monster claw? Tracy: They ran out of white make up because I insisted they do my buttocks.
Dad: Who taught you to do this stuff? Kid: You, alright!? I learned it by watching you! Narrator: Parents who use drugs have children who use drugs.
Princess: "I love you." Han: "I know."
"Now, Chuck Todd, I'm going to go get some soap...."
"It's also good that we can all come together and do something that makes everybody feel better which is to insult Rahm Emanuel."
"If they worked, they stayed."
"Everybody sort of worked together and the chemistry was, it became a unit."
"When they announced my name that night and Ed Asna presented it to me, oh I was a mess."
"So, I waited, I waited 22 years for the next one."
"So everybody was so surprised, why Betty can act. Isn't that amazing?"
"I mean I've worked hard, I'm a plumber."
"I'm buying this company, and I'm going to continue to work that way."
"If I buy another truck add something else to it and you know, build the company."
"I'm just becoming a punt now, but I'm just a regular guy."
"I think it's important to understand the issues that are at stake."
"There's information available out there."
"I know I get tired of it."
"I'd love to see 50, 75% of Americans actually vote."
"Is it really going to change anything?"
"I was in the military, you know, I served my country."
"But one would not say she has spent her life preparing for an intellectual revolution to lead the party out of the wilderness. Lets put it that way."
"I know Halloween is coming."
"It doesn't fit."
"Invest in rebuilding America, its roads, its bridges its water systems."
"If you serve your country, not just in the military, but in underserved communities, in hospitals, schools, we'll guarantee you get to college."
"If you don't go out and find out on your own information then you can't really sit there and give a good argument."
"Hi, I'm Lindsey Evans, I just competed in Miss Teen USA 2008!"
"I'm so ecstatic, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight!"
"Is it fictional?"
"So I then agreed to do it."
"I never thought the book would come out."
"I didn't do it."
"I don't know how to do it."
"At that point I said okay."
"I will not justify the evidence that they had that didn't work then."
"I still don't know how you're going to write it."
"In writing, we said, we told Marsha Clark, them, I'll do a lie detector test."
"I've had a couple of offers down the line, and if the money's right, yeah."
"If you pass it they say aww you learned how to pass it."
"I'm not aware of that."
"You read these reports, and I had nothing to do, I would read every report."
"Obviously I got a white girlfriend."
"I was born and came up in a world of athletics where you accept a person according to his abilities and what he has to give to the group or to the community."
"Well, normally I don't worry."
"Who I care a lot for."
"Since I've been out of marriage I've only really been involved deeply with one person."
"If we leave to soon and Iraq descends into chaos we could have a Middle East that looks like Iraq does now."
"We have to change this. This is so wrong. With all my heart I could not feel more passionate about this and honored to be in your presence and I will fight with you."
"I think it is unfortunate obviously but it is not the end. Because I think this will go back into the courts."
"I love Hillary. I was with her in Puerto Rico, she spent 7 hours in the back of a pick up truck."
"I will take your call. We will put it to the Russians. And I can tell you the answer now because I am a prophet."
"It's never been done before, you say. It's been done by every tribe in history. Every tribe facing annihilation. All the Indians of the Amazon are doing it right now. They refuse to bring any babies into the world. They kill every child that comes into the world. Because they don't want to live in this kind of a wo...
"I'm speaking as a prophet today."
"That inside baseball stuff regarding the way a campaign works on that level I certainly didn't get bogged down in any of the potential skirmishes."
"I had great faith that perhaps when that voter entered that voting booth and closed that curtain that what would kick in for them perhaps a bold step that would have to be taken in casting the vote for us."
"Well I had a speech that I was going to give that we had worked on for about a week."
"In fact my husband said we're so much alike it scared him."
"Well I'm flabbergasted that anybody would say that I spent any money on cloths for me and my family."
"I'm much more comfortable in my own skin, in my own cloths."
"Never, ever did I talk about well jeez is it a country or is it a continent I just don't know about this issue."
"There's no way that could have been $150,000 worth of cloths though. Not unless every jacket and pair of shoes were $10 - $20,000. I don't see how it add up."
"Sometimes I consider myself too as a feminist whatever that means. In fact I subscribe to Feminists for Life."
"I love him."
"You know if I went off script once and a while I can't for the life of me remember any one time it would have harmed him or the ticket so I don't regret it."
"I can't predict what's going to happen. I can't predict what's going to happen a day from now much less 4 years from now."
...Washington Outsider ...Repeating memorized lines ...What do you mean, "what do I read in Alaska?" I read the same things you guys read in NY and LA and Washington state! ...I am comfortable with Barack Obama as our commander in chief, assuming he has those around him that recognize, as I am sure he will recogn...
"You know I regret saying some things I shouldn't have said like dead or alive or bring 'em on.
"I know I'm going to be in Texas. No doubt I'm heading straight home. I miss Texas. I love Texas. I got a lot of friends in Texas."
"Those issues that we work on everyday we as a team I believe are going to be looked to and we offer up the solutions that on a national level our elected officials are going to need."
"And I'm not a dictator, I'm not going to yank anything out from under the will of the people. And now it will be up to the U.S. Senate to decide what happens next."
"If I hurt the ticket at all, and cost John McCain even one vote, I am sorry about it because John McCain is a true American hero, he's got great solutions in terms of the challenges that are facing America right now."
"I personally don't think that I, Sarah Palin from Alaska, the VP pick, I don't believe that I caused the outcome to be what it was."
"I didn't call the shots on the -- I didn't call the shots on a lot that strategy. But I'm not going to look backwards and point fingers of blame in regard to the strategy."
"I started out as a journalist. It's that important to me that that cornerstone of our democracy is given the credence and credibility that it deserves. But we have to have a two-way street here going where reporters are fair, objective, non-biased."
"I don't have fear, I have optimism and Barack Obama is going to surround himself with those who do have executive experience and there was nothing mean-spirited, there was no negative campaigning when I called Barack Obama out on his associations."
"I'm proud of Barack Obama. I pray for him, his family, the new administration, look forward to the good things that are in store for this nation."
"I have optimism because this is an historic moment in our nation's history and as Barack Obama prepares to take the office of Washington and Lincoln, what progress he has show, he has really made manifest now in terms of where our nation has been and where we are today."
"Heck no! I run to win and so does John McCain so there was disappointment."
"Well, it wasn't naive, not after Barack Obama came out and said that his wife was off limits. Why should my children have been this assumed target and they were and that was unfair."
"My life is in God's hands. If he's got doors open for me, that I believe are in our state's best interest, the nation's best interest, I'm going to go through those doors."
It was just an "All Go" route - it was one of those hope and a prayers and they just blew it wide open.
"I knew Barack Obama absolutely, and I knew him probably as well as thousands other Chicagoans. And like millions and millions of other people world wide I wish I knew him better."
"I became an issue unwittingly and unwillingly in the campaign and that I decided I didn't want to answer any of it at that moment because it was such a profoundly dishonest narrative."
"I never hurt or killed anyone. I was involved in the anti-war movement. I was a militant, I was part of a militant faction."
James Bond: "I admire your courage miss, er?" Sylvia Trench: "Trench, Sylvia, Trench. I admire your luck, Mr?" James Bond: "Bond, James Bond"
James Bond: "Your Name Quarrel?" Quarrel: "Maybe" James Bond: "I'm a friend of.., Commander Strangways" Quarrel: "Now ain't that nice, I like people who's friends of people"
Honey Ryder: "Who's that?" James Bond: "It's alright, I'm not supposed to be here either, I take it your not, are you alone?" Honey Ryder: "What are you doing here? Looking for shells?" James Bond: "No, I'm just looking"
"I would feel that had I done something similar that I would not be Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee in the next Congress."
Q: "Now this one I am particularly keen about. You see the gear lever here, now if you take the top off you will find a little red button. What ever you do, don't touch it" James Bond: "Yeah, why not?" Q: "Because you'll release this section of the roof and engage and fire the passenger ejector seat. Whoosh...
James Bond: "Do you expect me to talk?" Auric Goldfinger: "No Mr Bond I expect you to die!"
James Bond: "Who are you?" Pussy Galore: "My name is Pussy Galore" James Bond: "I must be dreaming"
Auric Goldfinger: "Ah very chic miss Galore - don't you agree? (laughs) Please entertain Mr Bond for me Pussy, I'll join you both later" Pussy Galore: "Well how about it handsome? Don't you think its time we got to know each other socially" James Bond: "Well the new miss Galore, where do you hide your gold ...
Q: "Now here's something I want you to use with special care, with special care" James Bond: "Everything you give me" Q: "Is treated with equal comtempt yes I know, but that's a underwater camera. It takes 8 pictures in rapid succession by pressing that button there" James Bond: "Is that clever?" Q: ...
Dominique Derval: "Vargas behind you" James Bond: "Really" Dominique Derval: "He must of followed us" [Bond shoots Vargas with a spear gun] James Bond: "I think he got the point"
Tiger Tanaka: "Permit me to introduce myself, my name is Tanaka, please call me Tiger" James Bond: "If you're Tanaka, how do you feel about me?" Tiger Tanaka: "I love you" James Bond: "I'm glad we got that out of the way!" [Tiger Tanaka laughs]
[A row of beautiful women stand in front of Bond and Tanaka] Tiger Tanaka: "My friend, now you take your first civilised bath" James Bond: "Really, well I like the plumbing" Tiger Tanaka: "Place yourself entirely in their hands my dear Bond son. Rule number 1 is never do anything for yourself when some...
Q: "Look James I know that we haven't always exactly seen, well anyway don't forget if there is anything you ever need" James Bond: "Thank you Q, but this time I've got the gadgets and I know how to use them"
"I want chicken, I want liver, meow mix, meow mix, please deliver."
Morton Slumbers Men: "The stiff, deceased back there; your brother, Mr Franks?" James Bond: "Yes it was" Morton Slumbers Men: "I got'a brother" James Bond: "Small world"
"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."
"And can you believe it? I got to go to college too."
"If I have to tell you again to back off, you and me gonna go round and round."
"Well, then I'm afraid I'm gonna have to keep it."
Jack: "Hi Lloyd! Been away! Now I'm back." Lloyd: "Good evening, Mr. Torrence. It's good to see you." Jack: "It's good to be back Lloyd."
"God, I'd give anything for a drink... even my goddamn soul, for a glass of beer."
"I'm not being grouchy... I just wanna finish my work."
"My girls, sir, they didn't care for the Overlook at first. One of them actually stole a pack of matches, and tried to burn it down. But I, corrected them, sir. And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I corrected her."
"(The intro theme music from the Bond Films)"
“Except they somehow managed to get every creep and freak in the universe onto this one plane, and then somehow managed to let them take it over, and then somehow managed to stick us right smack in the middle.”
“Define irony. A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.”
"Is it true what they say about the way you people are gifted? Zzzzzzzip! Oh it's Twue.... it's twue.... it's twue!"
"250 strands of lights, 100 individual bulbes per strand, for a grand total of 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights!"
Johnson: "Yeahhhhhhhh! Just like fucking Saigon!", Johnson: "I was in junior high, dickhead!"
Dr. Jones: "Well I'm sorry about your head, though, but I thought you were one of them!", Indy: "Dad, they come in through the doors.", Dr. Jones: "Good point!"
"I am the law!"
"I'll be the judge of that."
"I hate waiting!"
Inigo: "I admit it, you are better than I am!" Westley: "Then why are you smiling?" Inigo: "Because I know something you don't know!" Westley: "And what is that?" Inigo: "I… am not left-handed!"
"Sorry about this. I know it's a bit silly."
"I've just picked up a fault in the A-E-35 unit."
"It's puzzling. I don't think I have ever seen anything quite like this before."
"You know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses."
"I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I mean I'll tip if somebody really deserves it, but I mean this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. I order coffee I want it filled six times. Jesus Christ, these ladies aren't starving to death - they make minimum wage."
"I am a HAL 9000 computer."
"I'm very sad about that, but some fellas are lucky and some ain't."
"I enjoy working with people."
"I don't wanna kill anybody. I gotta get outta that door and you're standing in my way, one way or the other, you're getting out of my way."
Mr. Pink: "I don't tip." Mr. White: "You don't tip?" Mr. Pink: "Nah, I don't believe in it."
"Where's the commode in this dungeon? I gotta take a squirt."
"I don't have a boss…nobody tells me what to do…I don't have a boss…nobody tells me what to do."
"I'll probably shit blood tonight."
"I'm sure you'll like it. C'mon."
"I've got something outside that I'd like to show you guys, so follow me."
"I told them not to touch the fucking alarm, they did. If they hadn't done what I told them not to do, they'd still be alive."
Camille: "Friend of yours?" Bond: "I don't have any friends."
Green: "Please don't talk to me like I'm stupid!... It's unattractive."
Green: "I remember when I was 15, I had a crush on one of my mother's piano students. Somehow, I overheard her saying very nasty things about me. I got so angry... I took an eye"
Is there nothing sacred? Have we lost our moral center? It just makes me want to pee on someone.
"I have said repeatedly that I intend to close Guantanamo, and I will follow through on that. I have said repeatedly that America doesn't torture. And I'm gonna make sure that we don't torture."
"So that was my side. I would look and see the ground going past. And I still married him."
"I used to get teased, not just by Michelle, but by my own staff. They'd say, 'You know, you're the only senator that has a worse apartment than your 25-year-old staff people.'"
"I don't tell my mother-in-law what to do. But I'm not stupid. That's why I got elected president, man."
"When the radicals lost the vote in California, they are determined to impose their will on this country no matter what the popular opinion, no matter what the law of the land."
"I am very satisfied with what we did today. I feel good about what we did today. I don't apologize to anyone with what we did today."
"The question is do I trust Senator Lieberman? The answer is yes I trust Senator Lieberman."
"My colleagues voted to support a resolution which I believe was fair and forward leaning."
"And there are some that I made that I wish I had not made at all. And obviously in the heat of campaigns it happens to all of us."