"Daddy's all pent up! Let's freak!"

"Great. Good. You turned my sister into a limo driver."

"Are you sure you don't have a little clone in you? Yeah I'm sure. Would you like to?"

"If I didn't get in I would have lost my shit."

Jason: "Stay here." Martin: "Why?" Jason: "Cause your face looks like a vagina."

Ben: "Good thing I'm drunk. This is lasting forever." Alison: "Oh yes, awesome." Ben: "I just doubled my record time." Alison: "Oh, yeah you did!"

Ben: "What time is it?" Alison: "7:30" Ben: "Why the fuck are we awake? Lets go back to sleep."

"I live here illegally…don't tell anyone."

"Well you do look a lot like your sister."

"Give me the Allspark and you may live to be my pet."

"Love! The most beautiful, shiny, warmy thing in the world, you can't accept it!"

_

Martin: "Did you ever get so bored that you just stare at your balls." Jonah: "I bet you do, Late John Lenin."

Flo:"Let's cruise, baby!" Ramone: "Low and slow."

Mater: "You know, I once knew this girl Doreen. Good lookin' girl. Looked just like a Jaguar, only she was a truck! You know, I used to crash into her, just so I could spoke to her." Lightning: "What are you talking about?" Mater: "I don't know."

Lightning: "What's wrong with Red?" Mater: "Oh, he's just sad 'cause you left town and went to your big race to win the Piston Cup that you've always dreamed about your whole life and get that big ol' sponsor and that fancy helicopter you was talkin' about. (Long pause) Wait a minute! I knowed you wouldn't leave wit...

"No! No, no, no. You don't know what you want. Luigi know what you want."

"Let me tell you something; if Peter Jackson really wanted to blow me away with those Rings movies, then he would've ended the third one on the logical closure point, not the 25 endings that followed."

Randal Graves: "Emma, are you like this because you have an unnaturally large clit?" Emma: [To Dante] "You just had to tell him, didn't you?" Dante Hicks: "It kinda came out one day." Randal Graves: "He says it's so big, it's almost like a little cock; which says all sorts of things about him that I don't even want ...

Elias: "You're not going to bother me today Randal, I'm in too good of a mood." Randal: "Because your mom slipped you the tongue?" Elias: "No because I just tread online that there's going to be a live-action Transformers movie. And, as you know, my online handle is Optimus Prime." Randal: "I know that, I wish I did...

Billy Costigan: "Don't you fucking threaten me!" Dignam: "You may play a tough guy for your gangster friends, but you don't get nothing past me, you lace-curtain Irish fucking pussy!"

"Our job is to smash, or marginally disrupt, organized crime in the city by enhanced cooperation of the FBI, represented here today by Frank Lazio. And we will do it. By organized crime in the city, you know who we mean - that's Jackie Costigan, that's an old picture. Jackie met his demise. Last known photograph"

Have you completely lost your mind?

You have some very large shoes to fill. I hope you know that.

Liz: "Listen, Jared…" Jared: "Greenzo!"

"The Today Show wants to give us a recurring segment now. Lemon, I want you to write them up. I want the sketches to be punchy and entertaining so don't treat it like your show."

"We've lost control of Greenzo."

Pete: "Look, obviously what happened in your bed last night was a violation." Liz: "So much hair!" Pete: "Sorry, she likes me natural."

"Did he just talk to me like I'm ugly?"

"Congratulations, you were all present at Kenneth Parcell's last party ever."

"There is nothing like the thrill of doing a live show on Broadway."

Lutz: "I'm doin my job and she just shoots me down infront of everybody. I don't care if she's the boss, Liz is a Grade A…" Greta: "Runt."

Jack: "Banks, have you lost your mind." Banks: "Did I forget to mention that Kathy is Kathy Geiss, as in Don Geiss' daughter."

"These sunglasses have a chip in them that makes the lenses change colour as my iPod loses power."

Tracy: "Have you been letting me win?" Dot Com: "Just at some things." Tracy: "Things? Plural?"

Floyd: "Hey Liz Lemon." Liz: "Hey workout flower guy. What do ya got there? The old leather pumpkin?"

Jack: "Hello, everyone thanks for waiting please, sit, down." Liz: "Okay that's great. Just one thing sir, you're looking into the camera a little bit." Jack: "No I'm not."

Jack: "I don't get it, it's not the fear. I thrive on fear." Liz: "You're lookin out a fake window right now by the way."

"We can all agree that Liz is generally pretty racist. The point is, you have people counting on you. You can't be finding excuses not to be here."

"Jenna, your career is really taking off now and on a personal level I just like you more when your fat."

"Lick her face."

"Knowing I have the love of a beautiful woman, has set me free!"

"We open on a lone soldier walking through the desert. The year 1861, the place Mars."

"A live television special with fireworks. They can do shapes now. One time I saw a cowboy hat. (makes fireworks noise)"

Liz: "This is what I came to talk to you about. Tracy's wife is out of control." Jack: "Did you tell her you like her finger nails?" Liz: "No."

"When I think of the free-spirited Liz Lemon I met just one year ago, so resistant to product integration, cross-promotion and adverlingus, it pleases me to see how well she's learned to follow."

"But you know I miss live TV. It's like sex you know, it's almost better when everything goes horribly wrong."

Rosemary: "I have an idea. We open on a New Orleans Abortion Clinic. A beautiful molato…" Liz: "I don't we're allowed to use any of those words." Rosemary: "Why not? It's live television."

"What about race? I mean, I say that is the last taboo."

Alf: "By the way, don't bother looking for your laxative on a rope." Willie: "You mean my soap on a rope?" Alf: "Trust me on this one."

"Have you done any runway shows? Uh, cause you look like a midget. No, you know what, no but I did fashion week in New York."

"Gaston and Victoria, like the leg bones of a sudation mammal you are now vestigial."

"Hey.. what is all this interrogation? Let's toss the frisbee...over there.. Where we will MELT YOU INTO FLUID!"

Carl: "Heh heh heh hey... buddy." Master Shake: "Oh, hey Carl. Hey! Lawn looks great." Carl: "Likin' it?" Master Shake: "Why's your house all curled up?" Carl: "I don't know, I was hopin' maybe we could have a little dialogue about that." Master Shake: "Hey! Nice tire iron, Carl. Is that yours?" Carl: "Yeah, lemme g...

"He ain't my best friend, neither. He yells at me and scares me and locks me in the attic and pours liquid on my head that stings and freeze me with the fire extinguisher and a whole bunch of other stuff that I can't remember cause he shocked me in the head with a car battery!"

Master Shake: "You doubt me?!" Meatwad: "Yeah.." Master Shake: "Well, let's compute it. And I will solve the answer.. to your face!"

"Let's go get drunk and rip off a ten speed."

Frylock: "Well we were hoping you'd wanna come to a party with us tonight." Carl: "It looks like they're done partyin'. Now what they're doing is loitering. And that's very illegal."

Oglethorpe: "Listen... it's coming from inside the house." Frylock: "Yeah, it is." Oglethorpe: "Did you hear that?! Someone just said "yeah it is". A demon! Get down! A demon!" Frylock: "Do either one of you know the penalty for stealing cable?" Oglethorpe: "Cobble?! Pfftth. We have technology beyond our comprehensi...

TV: "Lean to your left." Meatwad: "Okay." TV: "Lean to your right." Meatwad: "Right." TV: "Lean to your left." Meatwad: "Over here?" TV: "Uh uh. That's your right." Meatwad: "Oh, Dammit. Okay." TV: "Lean to your right." Meatwad: "What about here?" TV: "Hey, you got it right!" Meatwad: "All right, good." Frylock: "Ok...

Meatwad: "And here ya go, Carl. You may feel a little stiffness tomorrow, but that'll be natural.. Hey, just while we're on the subject, can I use your pool?" (Meatwad doing Carl): "Yes, Meatwad, you may." Meatwad: "Okay. Thank you."

"I'll tell ya what it is, my friends. It's shut-up and lemme eat it!"

"I used to make minimum wage working at a retail store actually and it wasn't cutting my bills and I lived with my parents."

"30 million Americans have smoked marijuana and, um, they didn't die or anything and their fine so they should definitely legalize it."

"You guys have lost, good luck to you both. But now, I have to ask you to leave the mansion."

"Yeah!"

Employee: "Are you checking any luggage today sir?" Lil' John: "Yeah." Employee: "Did you pack the bags yourself?" Lil' John: "Yeah." Lil' John: "Pardon me madam,

Nate: "What is LARPing, can you…" David: "Uh, LARPing is an acronym that stands for live action role-playing. Uh, it's, uh, very similar to Dungeons and Dragons except, uh, it's in real life."

Jenny Lee: "What do you like in a guy?" Beauty 9: "Money."

"Plenty of time to lift weights and convert to Islam. Now get outta my site you fuck."

Mike: "Who was the first person to land on the moon?" Beauty 13: "Buzz Alderman." Beauty 14: "It's an Armstrong guy."

Charlie Murphy: "You got a towel man, it's kinda hot out here man." Prince: "Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of lake Minnetonka."

"I'm 25 and I'm still living with my parents. If I had the opportunity to actually bring a girl back to my house I would just explain to her that these were my roommates and for fun I like to call them mom and dad."

"When you twisted your body, your testicles got ensnared in the fly of your underwear which acted like a noose."

"You got long balls Larry. Long balls, you got long ass balls."

"Long ball Larry, that's your new name."

"I thought I'd never say this but Larry's right."

Borat: "Like my wife.." Etiquette Coach: "Well what you need to do." Borat: "She's boring."

"Last night, I had sex."

"I was sayin to my wife, you should just let me date. Because I'll come home, bring us much closer. I'll come home, we'll talk about the date, say how did the date go? I'll say oh I couldn't stand her, she did this and that, you know the way you talk to a guy about it."

Man Eating Lunch: "It's the lunch from hell." Lewis: "What? What did you say?" Man Eating Lunch: "I said it's the lunch from hell." Larry: "Where did you hear that expression?" Man Eating Lunch: "Girlfriend?"

(Martine does the theme song for Looney Tunes)

Larry: "Larry's in the car." Cheryl: "Ha ha, what?" Larry: "Larry's in the car so if you plan on doing any dirty talking, better save it for another time because, Larry's in the car."

"Let's talk about the human body cause after all everyone has got one of them…so we is meant to believe."

"Let's talk about a big thing, death, D E F."

"We have to lay a new foundation for growth, a foundation that will strengthen our economy and help us compete in the 21st century. And that’s exactly what this budget begins to do. It contains new investments in education that will equip our workers with the right skills and training, new investments in renewable e...

Jeff: During these first 100 days, what has surprised you the most about this office, enchanted you the most about serving this in office, humbled you the most and troubled you the most? Obama: Let me write this down.

"I see the process moving this first year, and I’m going to be moving it as quickly as I can. I’ve been accused of doing too much. We are moving full steam ahead on all fronts. Ultimately, I don’t have control of the legislative calendar. And so we’re going to work with legislative leaders to see what we can do."

"I do think that having Arlen Specter in the Democratic caucus will liberate him to cooperate on critical issues like health care, like infrastructure and job creation; areas where his inclinations were to work with us, but he was feeling pressure not to."

"Last night I got drunk and I fucked a perfect 10 model…and a, I fucked her again this morning."

Ali G: "Look at that fuckin thing, what's that?" Farm Guy: "That's a chicken." Ali G: "What? That thing?" Farm Guy: "That's a chicken." Ali G: "Is that a real animal?" Farm Guy: "That's a chicken." Ali G: "Check it out, has you ever seen anything like that?" Farm Guy: "Yeah." Ali G: "Look at it!"

"Listen up, me name be Buchanan, me knows nuff tings bout politics. Get involved mack daddy's, ya'll better realize that nothin be a better way to get yo kicks, west side aiiiigh."

"Well, there's no better way to find out who you are and what you're made out of than living in the great outdoors."

Sarah: "Bye daddy." Ari: "Later traitor."

"If you close her in the parking lot, the lattes are on me."

Gordon: "Look at me, it's bland!" Ben: "Yes, chef."

Daddy Yankee music clip for press release

"President Obama, what a guy, what a multi talented guy, what a multitasked this guy is. It's been a 100 days and here is a guy whose doing stuff. I don't care whether it's big or it's small this guy is doing stuff and god bless him for doing something. Here's something I was surprise he's also talking about who you...

"I think we had it at our house because everyone has been sick, 103 fever, coughing, we've had it before it came out. So Harry had it, the girls had it, seriously, I'm dead serious. I believe we all, except for myself had the Swine Flu in the house."

Warning, this video contains lude LEGO acts and comical references to douche bags that take advantage of drunk women and film them getting naked to make up for the fact that they can’t get laid in real life. LEGOs gone wild! Introducing LEGOs gone wild! That’s right when we take our cameras into the heart of LEGO la...

Tracy: What time is it really? Pete: 2:45pm. Tracy: You're a bunch of racists! Liz: What? How did we jump to that already? Tracy: You treat me like a child. No, worse than that. You treat me like one of those little pageant girls with the clip on teeth.

David Letterman: Remember Dick Cheney, the evil Dick Cheney and he used to have that chamber in the basement of the White House that dungeon down here. Remember that? You’d hear screams…that’s right. They had to cancel tours to the White House for that very reason. It was frightening school children so they canceled...

"You look like Clay Aiken."

"You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's going to do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg?"

David: "Look that's the Golden Gate bridge." Max: "Rice a roni, the San Francisco treat. Don't get too close to those cables."

"But today -- today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth."

"I have been walking on ball fields for 16 years, and I've never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans. I have had the great honor to have played with these great veteran ballplayers on my left -- Murderers Row, our championship team of 1927. I have been walking on ball fields for 16 years, ...

Hannibal Lecter: Oh agent Starling you think you can dissect…with this blunt little tool? Clarice Starling: No, I thought that your knowledge… Hannibal Lecter: You’re so ambitious aren’t you? You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling r...

"Fuck you, you little bastard."

"So you're mixing away like a fucking donkey."

Least I don't need to beg or borrow

"There's no crying in baseball!"

The Eiffel Tower built to smaller scale The freshest oxygen I’d ever inhale I tapped a bottle against the safety rail Killing time And you were like a walking compliment Tall in stature and exceptionally read In dummy glasses and a cardigan Oh come on And oh so empty were the faces Of the dealers and the waitresse...

"It's going to take me about 5 or 6 times to get it right. I have to get my trajectory right…2.5/6, wind cill a little bit minus. Oh! Pistachio!"

"I love being a jock."

"Or maybe Lupus."

"Lucy?"

_

_

"Marshall, Will, and Holly on a routine expedition Met the greatest earthquake ever known. High on the rapids it struck their tiny raft, And plunged them down a thousand feet below. To the Land of the Lost. (3X)"

_

"You folks are here at a great week. It's lunatic dictator week in New York City."

"What would Leona Helmsley's dog do?"

"Well listen to this. The state of Texas found, what they believe to do be is the last known letter written by Davey Crockett. They believe that it was a love note to Joan Rivers."

"How about this Chinese lead pain in the toys. Isn't that wacky. That's awful. Here's some good news, the Chinese government has now agreed to ban the use of lead paints on toys. Yea, but now wait a minute. They will continue to use it on sweet and sour chicken."

"Do you know about this? In the big game on Sunday the Patriots and the Jets, the New England Patriots were secretly video taping signals from the Jets sidelines. Ooo. Maybe we should put these guys in charge of looking for Bin Laden."

"Oh man, but did you see that performance? I mean the poor girl, she was glassy eyed, she was sluggish, not really into it, you know like last nights audience."

"Letters, we got letters…"

_

_

Spoken: "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Schlemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated." Singers: "We’re gonna do it! Give us any chance, we’ll take it. Give us any rule, we’ll break it. We’re gonna make our dreams come true. Doin’ it our way. Nothin’s gonna turn us back now, Straight ahead and on...

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"The lead singer's the most important person in a band. The Stones have Jagger, The Who have Daltry, and we have, well, this guy. Who looked older than both of them put together."

Tony: "Here is what I guarantee you. Bill Belichick will ignore today's comment." Mike: "He'll just go with the original." Tony: "And the Dolphins will lose to the Patriots by 70 points."

"Korneiser loves him some Atlanta, eating grits down there."

Tony: "Well Danny the Falcons are 1 and 6, so what kind of system are they running." Dan: "A losing system."

"Dan clearly has no supernatural powers but he looks like an alien so I will allow him to weigh in."

"I love these sketches. I love them."

"(Laugh)."

"Me, I'm a really light sleeper, so as long as you guys don't snore, I should be good to go wherever."

Bill: "Who is that little boy making out with that lady." Hillary: "That's Dennis Kucinich and his wife."

"I just wanted to let the American people know that life from New York it's Saturday night."

Amy: "Any advice for the future?" Principal Jefferys: "Yes, live."

"I wish all of you here good luck. And may your next leap, be the leap home."

"Now this strike is gonna require some serious belt tightening on my part. I'm gonna have go, uh, fly, uh, instead of be on my private jet I'm gonna have to fly First Class like a monkey."

"It ain't Little Bo Peep, it's Little Ho Creep down Lenox Avenue."

"Listen to me baby. If you keep this up, nothing is gonna end up in your little candy bag except for problems and last nights panties."

"Now I know you claim this is all a misunderstanding based on the wide stance you use in the stall. But you got caught soliciting gay sex in an airport bathroom and you're not gonna leave your job. Really? You realize your job is senator and not the lead singer of Wham."

"IKEA has now started selling prefabricated houses in England. And believe me, you have never felt so uneasy about having left over pegs."

"You were with me in the 9th grade when RZA and Ghost Face Killer called and asked me to become the leader of the Wu-Tang Clan."

"And tonight I have a message for all you fellow parents out there. Learn from me. Cause honestly, I'm kinda like the number one parent in America right now. And guess what, it's not that hard."

"Just follow my three simple lessons. Lesson 1: Always feed your children. Call me old school, but kids need to eat. And not just once a day, you gotta feed em twice a day."

"While others may know me by my many, many films or from the television show Law and Order."

"A 3 year-old boy who was lost in the Amazon rain forest for 11 days has been found alive. Reportedly, the boy survived by hanging out in a nearby Starbucks."

"Lets get to it."

"Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

Andy Samberg: "68th and Broadway." Chris Parnell: "Step on it sucker!" Andy Samberg: "What you wanna do Chris?" Chris Parnell: "Snack attack mother fucker!"

Andy Samberg: "Yo, stop at the deli, the theatre's over priced." Chris Parnell: "You got the back pack, gonna pack it up nice. Don't want security to get suspicious." Andy Samberg: "Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals crazy delicious."

Chris Parnell: "Don't want security to get suspicious." Andy Samberg: "Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals crazy delicious."

Chris Parnell: "Reach in my pocket, pull out some dough." Andy Samberg: "Girl acted like she never seen a ten before." Chris Parnell: "It's all about the Hamilton's baby!"

Chris Parnell: "We answered so fast it was scary!" Andy Samberg: "Everyone didn't know when we screamed." Both: "MATTHEW PERRY!" Andy Samberg: "Now quiet in the theatre or it's gonna get tragic." Chris Parnell: "We're 'bout to get tickets to a dream-world of magic."

Andy Samberg: "Now quiet in the theatre or it's gonna get tragic." Chris Parnell: "We're 'bout to get tickets to a dream-world of magic."

Andy Samberg: "Hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes." Chris Parnell: "Yo that bakery's got all the bomb frostings!"

Andy Samberg: "Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon, call Parnell just to see how he's doin'." Chris Parnell: "Hello?" Andy Samberg: "What up Parnz?" Chris Parnell: "Yo Samberg, what's crackin'?" Andy Samberg: "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Both: "NARNIA!" Andy Samberg: "Then it's happ'nin'." Chris Parnell:...

_

Andy Samberg: "Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon, call Parnell just to see how he's doin'." Chris Parnell: "Hello?" Andy Samberg: "What up Parnz?" Chris Parnell: "Yo Samberg, what's crackin'?" Andy Samberg: "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Both: "NARNIA!" Andy Samberg: "Then it's happ'nin'."

Andy Samberg: "Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon, call Parnell just to see how he's doin'." Chris Parnell: "Hello?" Andy Samberg: "What up Parnz?" Chris Parnell: "Yo Samberg, what's crackin'?" Andy Samberg: "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Both: "NARNIA!" Andy Samberg: "Then it's happ'nin'." Chris Parnell:...

"Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon call Parnell just to see how he's doing. Hello? What up Parnz! Yo Samberg, whats crackin? You thinkin what I'm thinkin? NARNIA! ...then it's happening! But first, my hunger pangs are sticking like duct tape Let's hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes. No doubt, that ba...

Andy Samberg: "... call Parnell just to see how he's doin'." Chris Parnell: "Hello?" Andy Samberg: "What up Parnz?" Chris Parnell: "Yo Samberg, what's crackin'?" Andy Samberg: "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Both: "NARNIA!" Andy Samberg: "Then it's happ'nin'."

Chris Parnell: "Two!" Andy Samberg: "No, six!" Chris Parnell: "No, twelve!" Both: "Baker's Dozen!" Andy Samberg: "Yo, I told you that I'm crazy for these cupcakes, cousin!"

Parnell: "Yo where's the movie playing?" Samberg: "Upper west side dude!" Parnell: "Well let's hit up Yahoo! Maps to find the dopest route." Samberg: "I prefer Mapquest!" Parnell: "That's a good one too." "Googlemaps is the best!" Both: "True that! DOUBLE TRUE!"

Both: "The Chronic- What? -Cles of Narnia! Yes the Chronic- What? -Cles of Narnia! We love the Chronic- What? -Cles of Narnia!" Pass the Chronic- What? -Cles of Narnia!"

Andy Samberg: "Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals crazy delicious."

Chris Parnell: "It's all about the Hamiltons, baby!"

Chris Parnell: "And I'm ghost like Swayze!"