"You got a map you ain't showing me Magellan?"

"Advice is free Murder Troy."

"What you gonna do now Muchacha."

"Stay out of this Metro."

"I traded Mr. Miyagi the last of my water for a fish he caught."

"Well let me break it down for you Mikie."

"Great plan moon beam."

"Fun time is over Mongo, why don't you hit the buffet."

"You gonna vote me off Mickey?"

"This is for laying down Munchop."

"I don't know Mr. Clean."

"So I sound like Mr. Ed."

"You are the most fearless warrior I have ever seen."

"Me and Montezuma's House."

"Now you're my bitch."

"It's a metaphor."

"Go ahead make your jokes Mr. Jokey, joke maker."

"Me, Hulk Hogan."

"My head was huge alright."

"You want to make some serious money brother."

"I'm going to get you an engagement ring and hopefully you'll think about moving to Minnesota."

"I'm madly in love with you."

"Now see what you made me do."

"I'm a wizard, that's my business."

"Mr. Sprinkles boys and girls. Hello Mr. Sprinkles."

"I've got moves you've never seen"

Indy: "Get back to Cairo. Get us some transport to England: boat, plane, anything. Meet me at Omar's. Be ready for me. I'm going after that truck." Sallah: "How?" Indy: "I don't know. I'm making this up as I go."

, that sounds like a really good deal, but I think I got a better one. How about, I give you the finger

Guard 1: "Would you please remove any metallic items you're carrying, keys, loose change?" Guard 2: "Ohh shit."

"My name is Neo."

"We have a message for you to carry. But you must leave this place!"

"The massive temple has been meticulously reconstructed based on Old Testament accounts and detailed historic records. Despite this attention to detail, many Orthodox Jews are up in arms over Chairman Alexander's modification to the sacred landscape."

"Over 3 Million are dead and thousands are seeking refuge after a freak meteor shower hit Eastern Europe."

Gillen Lane: "I like to help people out where it's not about making money.." Cassandra: "Brilliant! Because you know the best thing about your power tapes? The money-back guarantee."

Stone Alexander: "I need you to be my spokesman for this new world. My visionary! Yes! My prophet! Leave us Dominic! I said LEAVE US!!" Dominic: "You said I would be the prophet!" (He shoots Alexander in the head)

"Nobody ever wants to talk about anything around here, everybody's always tryin' to... maintain an even strain."

Maguire: "Who is this ghastly man?" Ace Ventura: "Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, and YOU must be the Monopoly guy. Hey, thanks for the free parking."

"Made ya look!"

"I shall call him Mini-Me."

"Come Mr. Bigglesworth, meow."

"The truly evil murder with style."

"I know how his mind works. You gotta let me go after him."

"The skinny little man butchered 30 some people up and down the eastern seaboard. They say the way he killed those people makes the manson family look like the partridge family."

Computer: "Maniac is imminent. Request advice." Computer: "With a firm tone of voice, demand maniac lie down; with hands behind back."

"You mount the woman, son, or else, send her out to me, huh?"

Max: "You mean the lowlife, asswipe, eggsucker, John Gustafson?" Snyder: "Have you seen him?" Max: "Man's crazy! Loco! Always hanging around round those kinky strip bars..you know, the ones where the men take their clothes off? That's of course, if he's taking his medicaton." Snyder: "Medication?" Max: "Yes, without...

Max: "Mornin' dickhead!" John: "Hello, moron!"

John: "Hey did you hear? Someone moved into the Klickner place. A woman." Grandpa: "A woman?" John: "Yeah." Grandpa: "Did you mount her?" John: "Ahh Dad!!" Grandpa: "Well, the woman, does she have big thighs?" John: "No." Grandpa: "No? Then what's the problem? If I was a yound feller like you, I'd be mounting every...

"This is a castle. And we have many tapestries. And if you are a Scottish Lord then I am Mickey Mouse."

Willie: "Well, I thought archaologists were always funny little men searching for their mommies." Indy: "Mummies!"

"I’m magnificent!"

"I am no longer Mittenhand. I am now MittenSPIIIIDAHHHHH!"

Sam: "Funny thing is, I was just thinking today, we havn't actually, ah, made love in over two months." Rebecca: "Maybe we could fool around tonight." Sam: "Check"

President Garcia-Thompson: "You passed out cigarettes for a smoke-a-thon on Earth Day, you installed speed bumps on the handicap ramps, and most recently, you dumped a hundred pounds of....meat, on a peaceful vegan protest!" Droz: "Oh, come on! That was way more than a hundred pounds!"

"Hey monkeys! How 'bout a little respect! The presiding person of the University just walked in." The band: (Playing Hail to the Chief)

"My gold golf clubs."

"My gold record."

"We melting gold baby."

Man: "Mrs. Lemons, enhanced?" Mrs. Lemons: "My accuser misremembered."

"Mushy mush."

"Well it's nothing short of an epidemic. Every week millions of people are effected."

"When there are no games to be watched you watch you watch CNBC because the market is so dynamic."

Man: "Oh mom, dad." Mom: "Is this her?"

"This wind is messing up my hair."

"Matt Lauer can eat it."

Lawny: "I bought a case of Castrol Edge and they just showed up and made me their king." Man: "Wow." Lawny: "It's a new advanced synthetic. Nothing beats it in wear protection, not even Mobil 1."

Marine Corps Hymn

"Yer so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece."

Rose:"Do you love him Loretta?" Loretta:"Ma, I love him awful." Rose: "Aw god, that's too bad."

"Well, I hate to bring it up because I know you have enough pressure on you already. But we agreed to get married as soon as you won your first case. Meanwhile 10 years later my niece, the daughter of my sister is getting married. My biological click is ticking like this (bang, bang, bang) and the way this case is g...

"Mae! Shut it!"

"You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse Fosse Fosse! You do Madonna, Madonna, Madonna."

Meryl: "Truman! Truman, that's our turn-off!" Truman: "I changed my mind again. What's New Orleans like this time of year? Mardi Gras! Wooooo! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha."

Truman:"Maybe I'm being set up for something. You ever think about that, Marlon? Like your whole life is been built toward something? "Marlon: "No." Truman: "When you were hauling chickens in the summer for Kaiser, what was the furthest you ever got off the island?" Marlon: "Went all over. Never found a place like t...

Laruen tells Truman that her real name is Sylvia and that everything is fake and everybody is pretending.

"He was masterbating!"

"You know what I would like to see? I would like to see more meats in a cone."

"You know I don't think they have enough meats on sticks."

Tombstone Marshall: "Tell you one thing though. I never saw a rich man didn't wind up with a guilty conscience." Wyatt Earp: "I already got a guilty conscience. Might as well have the money too."

"Mom, would you stop sounding like a radio talk show host?"

"Do you remember what we said on New Caprica? How we talked about trying to live for Today? Well, you better think about that, because maybe tomorrow really isn't coming. Maybe Today is all we have left. And maybe, just maybe, I've earned the right to live a little before I die. Haven't I?"

"G to me means greatness."

"With masterful fusion, functionality and design."

"I think repeating and defending Super Bowl champions in today's NFL is somewhat of a misnomer."

MP: "I clearly made some bad judgements and mistakes in my life, and I think the best thing is to learn from my mistakes, and that's already what I've done, and what I continue to do." WBAL: "What were you thinking?" MP: "Obviously not much."

Mellissa: “Hello.” Missy Elliot: “Hello may I speak to Mellissa Elliot?” Mellissa: “Yes.” Missy Elliot: “This is Mellissa?” Mellissa: “Yes.” Missy Elliot: “This the real Mellissa?” Mellissa: “Yes this is…who’s this? This is Mellissa.” Missy Elliot: “This is Mellissa.” Mellissa: “No.” Missy Elliot: “Yes.” Mellissa: “...

"I needed to touch down with the wings exactly level. I needed to touch down with the nose slightly up. I needed to touch down at a decent rate that was survivable. And I needed to touch down just above our minimum flying speed but not below it. And I needed to make all these things happen simultaneously."

"I think in many ways as it turned out my entire life up to that moment had been a preparation to handle that particular moment."

"People were making cell phone calls in the back. But most of the people I could see were in their brace position."

Bug 1: "What if, like we're just these tiny little things and we're just part of this whole other huge universe, that's like so big we don't even know it exists?" Bug 2: "Man, that is so deep."

"My advice is to sleep with as many people as possible."

Sebastian Valmont: "I read your manifesto." Annette Hargrove: "You did?" Sebastian: "I must say, I found it rather…appalling." Annette: "That's a first. Most people praise me for it." Sebastian: "Most people are sheep."

"My God…you're completely pussy-whipped."

"Men in black, protecting the earth from the scum of the universe."

"My life's a shambles, I need pie."

Mother fucking son of a bitch!

"You could argue he'd done it to curry favor with the guards. Or, maybe make a few friends among us cons. Me, I think he did it just to feel normal again, if only for a short while."

"A lot of couples, usually it's couples do undergo this procedure. It's not a controversial because they are couples so it's more acceptable to society."

Colbert: "Well it's fucking distracting." Steve: "Well I'm sorry. Maybe I should go." Colbert: "Yeah you should go!"

"Let's just move on."

"President Obama called his handling of the Tom Daschle nomination a mistake."

John: "We're shooting your shot." Tracy: "Fucking moron. You're a moron. Tracy fucking Jordan this is CGS. You don't fucking point cameras over here. You want to point...you...TMZ."

Calls me an asshole and says your not down to earth enough. And it's been going on for a long time. I'm not going to calm down. Behavioral issues are the least of my fucking problems.

Sarah: "You always do you son of a gun." Bobby: "Yeah you're right." Sarah: "You mother fucker."

"I'm much happier naked."

Bobby: "I'm going to make you look." Sarah: "Ah you made me look you always do that."

Bobby: "Do you plan to get married." Sarah Silverman: "No plans for that right now. We're married in our hearts."

"In the spring we'd make meat helmets."

Andy: "You haven't peed since I left?" Emily: "No I haven't. I've been manning the desk here haven't I, bursting."

"And this, my wife Oxanna, she's boring."

"My wife, she make this cheese. She make it from milk from her tit."

"You look like Michael Jackson beat it."

"Your family will meet you in the afterlife."

"My history is a little hazy Cassius, but shouldn't the Barbarians lose the Battle of Carthage?"

"I know that you are a man of your word, general. I know that you would die for honor."

"I'm special counsel for internal affairs, so my jurisdiction is pretty much in your face."

"My existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives."

Lightning: "I thought you said you'd never come back." Doc: "Well, I really didn't have a choice. Mater didn't get to say goodbye." Mater: "Goodbye! Okay, I'm good."

Hamm Car: "Hey, I hate to break up the read rally, guys, but they're here! Birthday guests at three o'clock!" Mack: "Oh, man! Whoever does the voice of that piggy truck, I'm tellin' ya, he's one great actor!" Mike Car: "We're banished, genius! Stuck here in this wasteland without chains!" Sullivan Truck: "But, Mike,...

"What does a machine have to transform into some giant fucking robot before you take it seriously? Go home."

Randal Graves: "Well I don't wanna jerk off in the Mooby's bathroom. What if a customer comes in and my jerkin' off gets him all sex nuts and retard strong, and suddenly I'm fighting him off as he tries to jam my dick in his mouth?" Dante Hicks: "The most likeliest of scenarios."

"Oh bullshit. My grandmother used to call me a 'porch monkey' all the time when I was a kid, because I'd sit on the porch and stare at my neighbors."

"Mambo, yeah!"

"My god it's Cleopatra. I feel like such an asp."

"Baby? Is that your name? You don't know shit about my problems."

"The Sheldrake Hotel is proud to present Johnny Castle and partner in Mambo Magic."

Todd: "It's magical." Fink: "It's laughing at me." Barry: "I wish I could brush my teeth with it." Landfill: "I wanna put my dick in it." Fink: "I want it to put it's dick in me." Barry: "I wish it were winter and we could make it into ice blocks and skate on it and then melt it in the spring time and drink it."

"Things looked bleak for Joe, but they were even worse for mankind. As Joe and Rita lay dormant, the years passed and mankind became stupider at a frightening rate."

Landfill: "I don't even know why you are on this team, you can't even drink a beer." Fink: "I'll show you how to drink a beer motherfucker. Fucking man cow. Landfill: "Uh oh! I think somebody's trying to chug in my face! Look out Germans! You got no choots, McFucklestein."

Jan: "I didn't come here for a bj, or a zj, or any kinda j…" Barry: "Then move along I got a mouth to feed."

"But that was Landfill, he was a fat asshole…but he was my fat asshole."

Joe: "Your Honor, I'm pretty sure we have a mistrial here, sir." Frito: "I'm gonna mistrial my foot up your ass, you don't shut up." Joe: "Please, listen." Prosecutor: "'Please, listen'."

"Why don't you make like a tree and get the fuck out of here."

"You know, you Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Kind of makes me feel like Riverdancing."

"My husband and great undefeated heavy weight world amateur champion, Captain Ivan Drago, has come here with his trainers to America to compete as an international sportsman and ambassador of good will."

"You were a great fighter no doubt about that but look we gotta face the facts too. You don't want to believe it but maybe the show is over."

Secret Service Thug: "Hey, you want us to come along, make sure she puts out?" Joe: "No, thanks. I can handle it."

"I'm of a mind, make some mookie."

"My job is to make sure you do your job. I'm special council for internal affairs, so my...jurisdiction is pretty much in your face!"

Character 1: "You must be my guardian angel." Character 2: "Please don't encourage him."

"This skin is 3 or 4 years old. Whatever shed it is gone since then. But something like this has made a meal of our dear Captain."

Sings the Meow Mix song

Jumper: "Aren't you gonna try to grab me?" Harry: "A friend of mine was up about 20 floors with a jumper a few years ago, and the jumper grabbed him, they went off, 20 floors down, just mashed 'em all over the pavement. Couldn't tell which legs were with which, which arems were with which, and it was a terrible mess...

Kathy: "You two are brothers?" Mitch: "Yeah, it's a long story." Sam: "My dad boned his mom." Mitch: "Okay, it's a short story."

"Note to self: Making love to blow-up doll not as good as advertised."

"Come to seek my treasure, have you?"

"Captain, my Captain."

"I promise you as sure as you stand here now, I'm gonna show you a new meaning to the word violation."

"Did you ever see anything so beautiful in your whole life?"

"If there is any honor in you, promise me never to do that again."

“I love Paris in the springtime, I love... Hello? Hello? You know, I really think you gave me the wrong mantra!”

"Hoo-ya Master Chief."

"MOVE YOUR ASSES!"

"I found out that money's the most important thing in the world, and I don't intend ever to be without it again."

Cronauer: "We've got a special man in the audience today right now...it's Mr. Leo. He's a fashion consultant for the Army." Cronauer as Mr. Leo: "Why thank you, Adrian. I'm just very happy to be here. I want to tell you something. You know, this whole camouflage thing for me doesn't work very well." Cronauer: "Why i...

"Hello campers! Remember, Monday is malaria day! That's right! Time to take that big orange pill and get ready for the Ho-Chih-Minh two-step!

Ms. Nora Diggers Dinsmoor: "What is this?" Finnegan, age 10: "Your boob." Ms. Dinsmoor: "My heart, it's my heart. It's broken."

(Michigan Rag)

"Are you mocking me?"

Man with Dead Body: “Who's that, then?” The Dead Collector: “I dunno, must be a King.” Man with Dead Body: “Why?” The Dead Collector: “He hasn't got shit all over 'im.”

“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!”

"Let Mortal Kombat begin."

Wes Luger: "There's something between you and this General Mortars." Jack Colt: "He was my C.O. in Nam. The C.I.A. listed him as M.I.A. but the V.A. Id'd his M.O. and we put out an A.P.B." Wes Lugar: "Oh, I see."

"Go ahead, Make my day!"

President Andrew Shepherd: "What would happen if I called Sydney Wade and asked her here to be my date at the state dinner on Thursday?" Character 1 : "This isn't happening to me.."

“Oh, this is a barrel of monkeys!”

Newton: “It's a machine, Scroter, it doesn't get pissed off. It doesn't get happy, it doesn't get sad, it doesn't laugh at your jokes...” Ben & Newton: “It just runs programs!”

“More input, more input!”

Dave: “How is that…the beard?” Joaquin: “In what way?” Dave: “Well is it comfortable? Is it itchy? Are you pleased with it?” Joaquin: “I’m okay with it but now you’re making me feel weird about it.”

Dave: "I’m making you feel weird about it?” Joaquin: “There something wrong?” Dave: “I can’t be the first one to make you feel weird about it.” Joaquin: “No I guess not.”

Frank: Oh Kenneth hey, you know how the company makes an effort to hire the disabled? Kenneth: Do I, I wouldn't have this job if it weren't for the mouth on my back.

There is something about Jennifer that makes me all car sick inside. Wmeeeeeeeeoooooo.

Jack: I believe that were re-united by the most successful capitalist enterprise of the last 100 years dispite the McLean Deluxe or the McEboo. Elisa: Whatever, someone's trying to tell us that we belong together. Maybe it's God. Jack: Maybe it's Ray Kroc. Elisa: Maybe it's the Hamburglar.

Tracy: Not just any entertainment, Michael McDonald! Jenna: (Singing like a man)

"Marvelous!"

{Music medley as sung by Nick (Val Kilmer) over closing credits.}

"How do we know he's not Mel Torme?"

Nick: "I'm pleased to meet you, my name's Nick." Hillary: "Nick? What does that mean?" Nick: "Uh, nothing. My dad thought of it while he was shaving."

“You know, I think this might be the most uncomfortable room I've ever been in in my life.”

Rockhound: “I'm a mission specialist.” Stripper: “Yes, and what's that mean?” Rockhound: “I don't know!”

“American components, Russian components... all made in Taiwan!”