"Very nicely done! Almost as good as me."

"You don't have the balls to take me on anymore! Ariel's had you neutered!"

"No. NO. NO!

"Our situation has not improved."

"Nazis! I hate these guys!"

Josey: "How weird that you name your cars." Rob: "Why? Guys name their penis's."

"You're an adult now, Josey. You're successful, you graduated at the top of your class, you work for a newspaper...you wash your hair now. You're not Josey Grossey anymore."

"With my GPS we'll never be lost. Oops."

"It can be hard to know when you need a new job."

Guy: "Dudes check it." Guy 2: "Oh your new domain name and website from GoDaddy.com."

Man: "Mrs. Cameras, enhanced?" Cameras: "I never enhanced, period."

"And the best is there's nothing you can do to stop it. I mean what are you going to do turn off your TV and your computer."

now we know and knowing is half the battle. GIJOE

"There has never been a better time to name your own price and save up to half off sweet lips."

Boy: "Mr. Polamalu." Troy: "Yeah?" Boy: "Need any help?" Troy: "Nuh uh."

Boy: "You want my Coke Zero?" Troy: "Nah." Boy: "Really, you can have it." Troy: "Okay." Brand Manager 1: "We're Coke brand managers." Brand Manager 2: "Coke Zero stole our taste, they are not stealing our commercial."

Sara: "My brother and I are not from your planet."

"Ladies and gentlemen Flight 152 is now boarding to Honolulu. Check, check, check."

"No! Ah! Oh."

"Back now with Dr. Rick Marshall whose new book arrives in stores tomorrow."

"No one wants to see you naked."

Man 2: "Is that really the best way to make your point." Man 1: "Don't worry nobody saw that."

"New Castrol Edge, with 8 times better wear protection than Mobil One 5W-30."

"Never trust the living."

"I make it a rule, never get involved with possessed people. Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule."

Ray: "Well, no sense worrying about it now." Peter: "Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back."

"There's no place like home."

"Toto?, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

"Now ain't the time."

Nash gimme a fist kiss. Amar'e gimme a fist kiss! Fist kiss?

"Presenting the new Toyota Venza. It exemplifies all of you."

"We're not attempting to repeat. That special group of men that were in that locker room last night at the end of that game is gone forever. It will be a new 53 men. A lot of the faces will be the same but nothing stays the same in this game."

"When I walk down the hall way and look at the championships of the Steelers of the 70s it's the same faces and the same position on those photos in terms of steel curtain and so forth. That's not the reality in today's NFL to be quit honest with you."

"You know Bob I'm thinking about how professional football has evolved into our national pastime."

Drew: “Hello.” Nick: “Drew, Hey man what’s up?” Drew: “What’s going on?” Nick: “Very strange situation I just ran into but I wanted to run it by you. I was actually doing a radio interview and just happen to be in the same building as NBC. And I ran into Mark Burnett. You know that guy?” Drew: “The reality TV show p...

"I knew immediately that this, unlike every other flight that I've had for 42 years, was probably not going to end with the airplane undamaged on a runway."

"No funny business, no conversations, and keep your hands off."

"Now don't you tell me that you don't remember me because I sure as heckfire remember you."

"That, uh, loan thing, is not my specialty."

Dorothy: "I think you should not come in, or come in. Depending on how you feel." Jerry: "It's up to you." Dorothy: "No, I have to go in, I live here."

"Noooo, thank you. I'm fine."

"Nobody has sex with my wife but me!"

"No let's not go again."

"I grew up in a nudist colony which is why I do porn."

"Cocaine will fuck you up. Marijuana is not even that addictive."

Andy: "Well, I'm a 6." Nigel: "Which is the new 14."

Why is no one ready?

"I'm not interested in politics. The problems of the world are not in my department."

"Well, don't believe a word he said. I never beat him and I never locked him in a closet."

"I got no illusions about winning a popularity contest with any of you. I got roasted the other night, a friend of mine asked - why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?"

Captain Freedon:"Forget it Killian, I won't do it.", Killian:"It's not a request moron, it's an order."

Kaffee:"Lt. Kendrick - may I call you John?", Kendrick:"No you may not."

"Well I submit to you that whoever wrote that memo has never faced the working end of a soviet made Cuban AK-47 assault rifle."

"You're the luckiest man in the world. There is nothing on this Earth sexier - believe me gentlemen - than a woman you have to salute in the morning."

"I'm not through with my examination. Sit down."

"Shit! Now where am I gonna bring chicks to fuck when my mom's home?"

"Fifteen bucks, lit-tle man. Put that shit in my hand. Nong nong nonga nonga nong nong. "

"But my grandmother did refer to a broken bottle once as a 'nigger knife'."

Baby: "What's up there?" Billy Kostecki: "No guests allowed. House rules."

Neil: "Well, you're free to do the same tired number as last year, and next year we'll find a new dancer…" Johnny: "Sure, Neil, no problem."

"Nobody puts Baby in the corner."

"Hey boys, why don't you let us put a nipple on it for you?"

"We are not our cousins. You are the offspring of zee bastard son of some whore."

"We're not that drunk! We're not that drunk! We're not that drunk!"

"No way, baby."

"It's not just a car. It's a BMW, because anybody who knows anything about that company knows that it is more than just a car."

"Nice outfit."

"What to know the truth? I don't think I've ever been in this room before."

"New and improved Joker products. With a new secret ingredient! Smiley!"

"Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle, not even for a vacation. Everyone knows that."

Biker: "Ain't gonna be no weenie roast! No this time, it's gonna be an ape roast! (Laughs)" Philo Beddoe: "Right turn, Clyde." Clyde: "Ooog!"

"I love the smell of Napalm in the morning. The smell, you know that gasoline smell. Smells like victory."

"Those are the kind of jobs that pay for new toys."

"Angels aren't human. We were never human."

"She didn't see you, Seth. She can't see you. No one can see you, unless you want them too."

"Wake up, slut! Well, well, well. We meet again. Nose biter! Time to pay the fiddler, whore!"

Sonar: “Uh, excuse me, Sir. This is an actual Navy submarine, not a float in a parade or something?” Dodge: “Afraid so, Sonar.” Sonar: “Huh, isn't that odd?”

Nitro: “Uh, Nitro, hi.” Buckman: “Interesting nickname. What's your real name?” Nitro: “Nitro. I'm working on a nickname, though.” Buckman: “Oh yeah?” Nitro: “Yeah. Um, listen to this... Mike.”

"No surrender."

All right Clyde, you're gonna meet a lady now, understand? I want you to handle it. That means no spittin', pissin', fartin', or pickin' your ass! You hear me?"

"This is tough, we're deep in Country here, is it kinda like Deliverance or something? Guess I should be scared. You got a pretty mouth boy."

"You offer me what isn't yours to give."

“I get around as nature intended - in a car!”

"For most people Friday is just the day before the weekend, but after this Friday the neighborhood will never be the same."

"Oh no son. You kids are nothing but punks, quick to pick up a gun ... You aren't a man with that gun in your hand, put up your dukes."

"No splittail's gettin' through this program. No way jose."

"We have to nuke 'em, we have to nuke 'em now."

"I knew if I really believed and made it happen, well then that would be nothing short of magic."

"He's great comin' out of the gate, but not much for stamina."

Head OCP: "Nice shooting, son. What's your name?" Robocop: "Murphy."

Admiral/Captain James T. Kirk: "for a man that swore he'd never to return to Starfleet." Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: "Just a minute, Captain Sir. I'll explain what happened. Your revered Admiral Nogura invoked a little known, seldom used reserve activation clause. In simpler language Captain, they DRAFTED...

Russell: "We work on it the rest of the night, we get it together. We can do this, right?" John: "There's no way in hell we can do it!"

Mr. White: “It's very important you don't stink today!” Lenny: “Hey, I make no guarantees!”

"God this stuff isn't getting to me - the shootings, the knifings, the beatings. Old ladies being bashed in the head for their social security checks. Nah that doesn't bother me. But you know what does bother me? You know what makes me really sick to my stomach? It's watching you stuff your face with those hotdogs! ...

Howard: “What if it goes out an melts down a busload of nuns? How would you like to write the headline on that one?” Ben: “Nun soup?”

Terrence: "Want to see the northern lights?" {Strikes a match and farts and they both Laugh} Philip: "Ah-hahaha! You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart! Ah-hahaha!"

Joaquin: “That’s just a nervous tick I think.” Dave: “Oh just a nervous tick?"

It’s not really an easy thing to explain as something that has been part of my life for a long time. It’s weird to come out on stage in front of a bunch of people and just talk about it you know."

NBC, blah blah blah thank you.

Now's the time for gallantry.

"And she'll go from being the new Jackie O to being something albatross."

"N-n-n-o. All of…he read a whole list of names from what I recall."

Reporter: "Can you tell us…" Roland: "No I can't. No I cannot." Reporter: "Can you tell us…." Roland: "No I cannot."

Joan: "Let's just call this the new me." Keenan: "There was nothing wrong with the old you." Joan: "You can't treat people like you treat people and then...and then say something adorable like that."

Cedric: "Do you know any good white basketball players?" Unnamed spy: "There are no good white basketball players, my friend."

"Don't take it too badly, old boy. You're no more of a fool than the others."

"Klaus is a moron, who knows only what he reads in the New York Post."

"I promise I'll even be nice to your mama."

"This is not Mel Torme!"

Harry: “Right now I need to hear five words from you.” A.J.: “Uhhh...” Harry: “I'll...” A.J. and Harry: “...never do that again.”

“You know A.J., there's not a job on the planet that I'd want you to work with me on.”

“Yeah, one more thing, umm... None of them wanna pay taxes again... Ever.”

"Never change horses in midstream!"

“Harry, the clock on that nine foot nuclear weapon is ticking!”

Julius: “Wait a minute! Wait a minute! This is not, this is not checkmate!” David: “See you tomorrow, Pop!” Julius: “Just hold on! This is not checkmate!”

Aide: “The object has settled into a stationary orbit.” Nimzicki: “Well, that's good news!” Aide: “Uh, not really, sir. Part of it has broken off into nearly three dozen other pieces. Smaller than the whole, sir, yet over fifteen miles in width themselves.” Nimzicki: “Where are they heading?” Aide: “They should ...

Pres: “Any news on my wife yet?” General: “The helicopter never made it to Nellis.”

“Oh, no! You did not shoot that green shit at me!”

“Sir, if we don't strike soon, there may not be much of an America left to defend!”

Pres: “Take my word for it, there's no Area 51! And there's no recovered spaceship!” Nimzicki: “Excuse me, Mr. President? That's not entirely accurate.”

Pres: “Can there be a peace between us?” Alien: “Peace? No peace!”

“Nuke 'em. Let's nuke the bastards!”

Hiller: “I ain't heard no fat lady!” David: “Forget the fat lady, you're obsessed with the fat lady! Drive us outta here!”

David: “Look at us! Take a look at the Earthlings! Good-bye!” Hiller: “Ya'll take care, all right? Nothin' but love for ya!”

Pres: “Not bad!” David: “Thank you, Mr. President!”

"Well what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today!"

“But nobody can see the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! Even I've never seen him!”

"No wonder you're extinct! I'm gonna run you over when I come back down!"

Grant: "After careful consideration I have decided… Not to endorse your park!" Hammond: "So have I!"

"I'm not into necrophilia, thanks."

Wanda: "And when he heard your daughter's name was Portia…" Archie: "Yes?" Wanda: "He said, why did they name her after a car?" (laughter)

"My old pappy always used to say, well, he said a lot of things, but one thing he said was never sneeze when you're hiding, never smile when you lie, and never, under any circumstances, never take money from women who've lost a dog and a wedding dress."

Trooper: "Sir, you can't just…", K: "Don't Sir' me, young man, you have no idea who you're dealing with."

Archie: "I'm tellin' ya baby, they kicked you little ass there! Boy, the whupped your hide reeeaaal goooood!" Otto: "No they didn't!" Archie: "Oh, yes, they did." Otto: "Oh, no they didn't!" Archie: "Oh, yes, they DID." Otto: "Oh, no they…shut up!"

Kind Richard: "I will not allow this wedding to proceed!" Robin: "My lord?" King Richard: "Unless!... I am allowed to give the bride away!"

"Nice fucking model!"

"Nice welt, sweetie!"

"Number One: You can never have sex."

"And Number Three: Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say 'I'll be right back', 'cause you won't be back."

"Number Two: You can never drink or do drugs."

"Would you mind not shooting at the thermonuclear weapons?"

Randy: "Careful. This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life for one last scare." (screams, shot is fired) Sidney: "Not in my movie!"

"You should never say who's there, don't you watch scary movies? It's a death wish! You might as well just come out here to investigate a strange noise or something!"

Gale: "Jesus, the camera, hurry!" Kenny: "My name isn't Jesus!"

"You're not innocent victims of a geese drive by. You're this guy the dick who thinks it's funny to go parasailing in a hurricane. And you know the thing about guys like that…they never have insurance."

"Spring Training represents a new start for me and a chance to win a championship - two opportunities I am very excited about."

"I'm not sure what the benefit of it was. I will say this, when you take any substance, especially in baseball, it's half mental and half physical. If you take this glass of water and you say I'm going to be a better baseball player than you probably will be. So, I certainly felt more energy, but it's hard to say. H...

"My style is not to challenge anything. I think the system in place is really good."

"No on HGH. What I used to take a lot in Seattle was something called Ridfield. Since it has been banned since MLB and removed from shelves at GNC. I used to dabble with that."

"My mistake has nothing to do with where I played. My mistake came because I was immature and I was stupid. It wasn't because of the Rangers or anything to do with Texas. I blame myself."

"At the time I had no regrets. It was injected, to what degree it helped I'm not sure."

"That's not for me to decide."

"It's not your fault you're stupid."

"Information like that is given out on a need to know basis only, and at this particular time you do not need to know."

"Not bad for a city guy."

“Sir, the truth is I talk to God all the time, and no offense, but he never mentioned you!”

Navarre: “This lady, did she perhaps have a name?” Philippe: “Not that she mentioned. Why?” Navarre: “Well, she might wander into my dreams. Wouldn't it be nice if I could call her by name, and pretend we met before? I've waited a long time for such a lady.”

Woman: “Your man able to hit something that far away?” Cora: “I don't know him, I never saw him before.”

“Then he turned and he walked away and he never looked back. I know, 'cause I watched to see if he would.”

“Said I never had much use for one. Never said I didn't know how to use it.”

"Brother please! Hey listen, you are the no pussy gettin'est, talkin'est shit, cat I know."

"No, NO!!"

"I'll give you my phone number...if you promise you will never, ever use it."

"I'm your number one fan."

"She seems to have such nicely rounded dipthongs."

"Lets try a new line of attack, shall we?"

Dewey: "When did he start smoking?" Randy: "Ever since those nude pictures on the Internet." Gale: "It was just my head! It was Jennifer Aniston's body!"

"Mikey, Mikey, this ain't the kind of place you want to go to the bathroom in!"

"See, you guys, you never listen to me! I said that there was gonna be trouble but you didn't listen to me!"

"There'll be no more signing, today, or ever again!"

"Well, there's nothing unholy about expressing one's emotions. On the contrary, religion should be experienced in an all-embracing way."

"Kate! You're not wearin' a bustle! How lewd!"

Turner: "Oh, no, no, no, no! I dn't have room for a dog like Hooch!" Dr. Carson: "Not many people do!"

"No slobbering, no chewing. You will wear a flea collar. This is not your room."

"No begging for food, no sniffing of crotches, and you will not drink from my toilet. This is not your room."

"My friends in the house and I have a lot of them tell me they're not going to let that happen. They're going to be under a lot of fire."

"Hey listen, we have got to get this guy out of here. He's got no face."

Friedrich: “Nice grouping.” Inspector Kemp: “Thank you.”

Alexa: "Shut up, because here comes one-time-only opportunity. What I will do now is go into your office and become naked. Next move is up to you. I may not be as limber as I once was but I make up for it with enthusiasm and willingness to experiment. Huh? (cracks her neck)" Henry: "I don't know if you realize, I...

"I'm seeing a whole new side of you, sir. I've gotta tell you, it's grossing me out."

Lucy: "You had plans and a life before you met me and now all you have time for is to make me fall in love with you every day." Henry: "That's not all I do. I gave a penguin a bath today."

"Not very sporting to fire at an unarmed opponent."

"Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love! We got company!"

"I'm not entirely sure where Mr. Santelli lives or in what house he lives."

"It's not easy being a nun...take it from one who's been there and back. First of all your face never looks thin, you never get to wear pants and your love interests is always off screen."