"Because Katie you're not the center of everybody's universe."

"If I just went in there as Mrs. Hammerness I don't know, period, I don't know. I might not be able to."

"The weight of this crisis will not determine the destiny of this nation."

"The fact is, our economy did not fall into decline overnight. Nor did all of our problems begin when the housing market collapsed or the stock market sank. We have known for decades that our survival depends on finding new sources of energy. Yet we import more oil today than ever before. The cost of health care...

"That is why I have asked Vice President Biden to lead a tough, unprecedented oversight effort – because nobody messes with Joe. They don't mess with him."

"We will do so in several ways. First, we are creating a new lending fund that represents the largest effort ever to help provide auto loans, college loans, and small business loans to the consumers and entrepreneurs who keep this economy running."

"It is time to put in place tough, new common-sense rules of the road so that our financial market rewards drive and innovation, and punishes short-cuts and abuse."

"Not so well."

"My fellow citizens, never forget: We are Americans. And like my dad said years ago, Americans can do anything."

"Everyday there's a new story about this Nadya Suleman and this is pretty exciting. Tonight we have managed to line up an exclusive interview with Nadya via satellite."

"Maybe she's not so sound up here but she's a beautiful lady."

"Engine 6 to control. Engine 6. Notify the gas company that this is a confirmed leak. We can hear it hissing through the roadway."

Nine

Nuclear Missile Ready

"What the heck is this ninja mortgage that everyone keeps talking about? Alright, you figure out how to legally buy a house using whatever, collateral, children, whiles, I think whiles are very underused these days. Then once you sign all the papers you secretly kill anyone who knows about the mortgage or controls i...

"Isn't it nicer to give than to receive."

"I cant read it there's no words on it."

"I'm here to tell you that in 5 weeks the nerd gets laid. Nerd Gets Laid!

"This is how you figure, watch me now you're looking at a real tight President. The dude in the hood that gets all of his papers. Shot out to my Presidents. It's a struggle out here man. Nothing rhymes with President. It's multi-syllabic."

Reporter: "Well when is it okay to use the word president?" Man: "It's never okay to use that word unless you're black you should never have that come out of your mouth."

Woman: "Why do we do it Dan, dressed up like that." Nite Owl: "No one else would."

"Yeah man Wall Street is mad as hell and they're not going to take it anymore. Unless by it you mean the 2 trillion dollars in their own bailout money. That they will take."

"It's not rocket science homeowners. It's apparently alchemy."

"Naruto Uzumaki!"

"Naruto!"

"Nope."

"Ha ha ha."

"A ninja legend!"

"Not this again!"

"The next Hokage."

"Naruto Uzumaki has returned to the hidden leaf village."

"Ah!"

"Sasuke!"

Elmo: Elmo is so happy that Mr. Richard Gervais is here. He's really funny. Ricky: I'm the only one here today not getting paid today."

"There are no known's. There are things we know that we know."

Poor me, dad was gone, finally got my dad back Liver bad, he wouldn't live long, they snatched my dad back God as I never had that, streets was my second home Welcomed me with open arms provided a place to crash at A place to study math at, matter of fact, I learned it all Burned it all, this music is where I...

Burn train buffers My fancy Up jumps the boogie delivering eye jammies Walk through the muck with a clutch on a trident Never give a fuck how far Pi went You are dealing with a reborn icicle age poltergeist Uprock, sidewalk cycles stuck at the bus stop Wookie foot must not sleep Under the invaders No batt...

Bruno: Much more naughty and flirtatious. Tom Bergeron: She's 17.

Woman: "Ugh, yes." Man: "I've never brought such pleasure to a woman before."

Obama: "I've got to pick Duke." Man: "The whole way or just right here?" Obama: "No, no not the whole way. Come on."

"It has nothing to do with McCain. I think Arizona is a great state, I love playing golf there but they just squeaked in, based on reputation."

"Miss Tiana I don't know if I want to look at a mouthful of pretzel. Spit it out! Not on somebody."

"If you lose to Obama you never hear the end of it."

"This isn't silence. It's nothing. Every year a million families lose their homes to foreclosure because they do nothing. If you've fallen behind on your mortgage do something. Call 1-888-995-HOPE. That's 1-888-995-4673. Because nothing is worse than doing nothing. A public service announcement brought to you by Nei...

"Roy Knocks the Cover off the ball."

"There's no way I'm going to let you steal this club from Pop."

"Nice tits, Engelberg."

"Non-alcoholic, what's the damn point?"

Jesse: "No and then." Chinese Foooood Lady: "And then?" Jesse: "No and then." Chinese Foooood Lady: "And then?" Jesse: "No and then." Chinese Foooood Lady: "And then?" Jesse: "No and then." Chinese Foooood Lady: "And then?" Jesse: "No and then." Chinese Foooood Lady: "And then?" Jesse: "No no and then." Chinese...

"Nigga I'm Santa Claus where the fuck them milk and cookies at?"

"Absolutely no shots until you've passed off 4 times."

"There's a, um tradition in tournament play- not talk about the next step until you've climbed the one in front of you. I'm sure going to the state finals is beyond your wildest dreams, so let's just keep it right there. "

"Forget about the crowds, the size of the school, their fancy uniforms, and remember what got you here. Focus on the fundamentals that we've gone over time and time again. And most important, don't get caught up thinking about winning or losing this game. If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your...

"Hey Dad look, it's the good stuff, none of that pussy Skoal. Right Dad? Dad? Mom? Dad? Mom? Dad? Where are you?"

Joe Dirt: "Here's my favorite bands: AC/DC. Van Halen, not Van Hagar. Skynyrd, Def Lep." Zander: "Alright."

Meteor Bert: "You see that peanut? Dead giveaway." Joe Dirt: "Uhhh, no, that's a space peanut." Meteor Bert: "No, afraid not. That just a big ol' frozen chunk of poopy."

Grandpa: "Fuck you. I can say what I want - I still got Nazi bullets in my ass." Richard: "Oh the Nazi bullets."

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."

"All I know is, there's no point of me goin anywhere anymore, if it's going to be alone."

"I'm not what you want Justine."

"Told you I'm never goin back."

"No little Marie, it ain't alright."

Robert: "Don't take anymore chances out there than you have to. There's nothin more to prove pop, there's nothing more to prove." Rocky: "I gotta go out the way I gotta go out." Paulie: "You can do it Rocko, you can do it." Rocky: "One more round and we go home."

Sonny: "Eh!" Biker: "Oh you again huh?" Sonny: "That wasn't very nice. Now yous gotta leave." Biker: "I'll tell you when the fuck we leave. Get the fuck away from me."

Sonny: "Now yous can't leave." Calogero: "I will never forget the look on their faces. All eight of them. Their faces dropped. All their courage and strength was drained right from their bodies."

"Nicky Zero was the neighborhood thief. His mother called him zero because she said he would never amount to nothin."

"Nobody cares huh? You were wrong about that one."

"Ah! Nature! It's all over me! Get it off! I can't see! I can't see! I can see! Ah!"

"Look at that, that's not a bad view."

"Now, this is more like it."

"Dama do… nerd."

"Well gentlemen, no point in hanging out in this dump any longer."

"Time has come mark my words. Time has come for Revenge of the Nerds. Revenge of the Nerds. Revenge of the Nerds."

Gibbs: "Not quite according to plan." Jack Sparrow: "Complications arose, ensued, were overcome."

"No, no. Oi! No, no! Not good."

"You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin."

"We're not out of this yet. Captain, orders?!"

"Not so bad."

"It turns out not even Jack Sparrow can best the devil."

Johnny: "Now let me get this straight, because you and me are friends, you're saying that that makes us Niggers." Chico: "No, no, no niggaz. Aight. Niggaz. There's a big difference." Johnny: "Yeah that's what I said. I said nigger." Chico: "Nigga." Johnny: "Nigga?" Chico: "Yeah." Johnny: "What the fuck is that?" Chi...

Mike: "What do you call a thousand lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?" Johnny Doyle: "What?" Mike: "Not enough sand."

"The Italian Stallion. The media will eat it up. Now who discovered America? An Italian right? What would be better than to get it on with one of his descendants."

"Hey Adrian, I'm serious now. There's no foolin around during training you understand? I wanna stay strong."

"I'm not good enough to meet with Gazzo? (Spits) That's what I think of Gazzo! Now you're a big shot fighter on the way up, you don't even throw a punch to your friend Paulie. When I go get you meat every mornin. You forgot that, and I then I even give you my sister too!"

Lee: "Carter!" Carter: "Who died Lee?" Lee: "You." Carter: "Detective Yu?" Lee: "Not Yu, you!" Carter: "Who?" Lee: "You." Carter: "Who?" Lee: "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?" Carter: "Don't nobody understand the words that are coming out of your mouth man."

Carter: "Follow that car! Hey, follow that limo, this is a chase. Okay, wherever it goes, you go. You're not moving. This is the opposite of chasing." Carter's Cab Driver (William Tuen): "(Speaks Chinese)" Carter: "What?" Carter's Cab Driver: "(Speaks Chinese)" Carter: "I will slap you if you don't move this car." C...

Eddie: "Hey Spidey. Hold on. Bugle needs a photo. Thank God you're ok." Gwen: "Daddy!" Eddie: "Hey I'm the new guy." Spider-man: "New guy?"

New Goblin: "Looks like just in the nick of time." Spider-man: "A couple of minutes ago wouldn't have been so bad, either."

Check-In Girl: "There's no featherweight division here smallfry. Next!" Peter Parker: "No, sign me up." Check-In Girl: "OK. You understand the NYWL is not responsible for any injury you may, and probably will, sustain while participating in said event, and you are indeed participating under your own freewill?" Peter...

"No more tricks. No more lies. Only truth."

Creedy: "Bollocks. What you gonna do, huh? We've swept this place. You've got nothing. Nothing but your bloody knives and your fancy karate gimmicks. We have guns." V: "No, what you have are bullets and the hope that when your guns are empty, I'm no longer standing, because if I am, you'll all be dead before you've ...

"So what do you do when you're not Joe Montana?"

Tom: "If you had told me about the turn before we passed it I wouldn't have had to pull such a Nascar evasive maneuver." Sarah: "I was busy looking at the map! Somebody has to navigate."

Sarah: "Mom had never said a bad word about you." Tom: "Wow. Pussy has never insulted me! Now I feel loved."

"Yes I do, I need to know everything. Where you were, what he did, how small his wiener was, everything!"

"Now show me wax on, wax off. Aye."

Um, actually, I wasn't aware that we had an assignment.

Paulette: "Is she as pretty as you?" Elle: "She could use some mascara, and some serious highlights, but she's not completely unfortunate looking."

Come on you're never gonna get the grades to qualify for one of those spots. You're not smart enough sweetie.

Well she was sitting next to the pool, topless, while the Latin boy handed her a drink.

I'm going back to LA. No more boring suits, no more panty hose, no more trying to be something that I'm just… just not.

I've waited so long to hear you say that. But if I'm going to be a partner in a law firm by the time I'm 30, I need a boyfriend who's not such a complete bonehead.

"There's no such thing as magic!"

"No post on Sunday. Ha! No blasted letters today! No, sir! Not one single bloody letter! Not one!"

"This boy's had his name down ever since he were born!"

"Not all wizards are good. Some of them go bad. A few years ago one of them went as bad as you can go."

"But nobody lived once he decided to kill them. Nobody, not one. Except you."

Ron: "I know you. You're Nearly Headless Nick!" Nearly Headless Nick: "I prefer Sir Nicholas if you don't mind." Hermione: "Nearly Headless? How can you be nearly headless?"

Harry: "Where are we? A graveyard?" Ron: "This is no graveyard - it's a chessboard."

"He of course never trusted me again. He rarely left me alone, but he doesn't understand, I'm never alone, never."

Harry: "Does that mean with the stone gone, that is, that Voldemort can never come back?" Dumbledore: "Ah, I'm afraid there are ways in which he can return."

"To Mr. Harry Potter, for pure nerve and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor House 60 points."

Hermione: "Feels strange to be going home, doesn't it?" Harry: "I'm not going home, not really."

Tony: "No." Colin: "Yes." Tony: "Niet." Colin: "Da." Tony: "Nine." Colin: "Ya darling!"

"It's not worth it you know, it's not bloody Shakespeare."

Johnny: "There's something going on here Vinnie!" Vinnie: "Nothin's goin' on!"

Michael: "So, where are we going?" Gina: "Out." Michael: "Right. No where too dressy, I hope."

Gina: "So who'd you meet? Nice Uncle Vito?" Michael: "Yeah." Gina: "Full name Vito Graziosi. Ring any bells?" Michael: "Boxing?"

Michael: "Did you talk to, um, your friend? I mean, that is it, right? Finito. No more favors." Frank: "Trust me, Michael."

"She was 90 years old and blind. She was not a connoisseur."

"My name is Peter and I'm the best man. I work at Mark's and Spencer's. I love chocolate biscuits. No Mumsie, I want some ginger beer."

Michael: "Never chase the bid." Frank: "Hello, what?" Michael: "Let the bid come to you. That's rule #1."

"It's a new rule of mine: always assume you guys are hiding something."

I don't like either of those separately, but maybe mixed together, that could be a nice little dish, you know what I mean? And not just the little pink spoon, I like the whole sundae.

Let's not get carried away.

We need to talk.

I thought I told you not to bother me at the office, honey.

Jane: "I was never in the Peace Corps." John: "What? Aww, I really liked that about you."

"Nerd alert!

John: "I never really liked your cooking. It's not your gift." Jane: "Baby, I've never cooked a day in my life."

Jane: "What's her name and social security number?" John: "No, you're not going to kill her."

Dr. Phil: "There's no porn tape in your future?" Nadya: "I don't think it's even real. And even if I had no children and I was offered a 100 million that's not part of who I am."

Jane: "This is not my first time." John: "I think we've established that."

Okay, that was a nice shot.