"As a kid growing up in Oakland, my heroes were Jackie Robinson, Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, Reggie Jackson. What about that Reggie Jackson? I stand out on the ballpark in the parking lot waiting for Reggie Jackson to give me an autograph. Reggie used to come out all the time and I'd say, "Reggie, can I have an autogra...
nothing to say...
"There’s even a new Emmy category…best involuntary spasms. Sorry Glenn Beck but you have to be tased first."
"This guy has got no luck at all here."
"For your information not all men are as perverse as you are."
"Now that is a bra."
"No Julie, there are no problems, just solutions."
"The orphanage has never heard of her."
"Adopting an older child is not an easy decision."
"Most recently in New York Times reported, and want to make sure I get this right, that David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez quote are among the roughly 100 major league baseball players to test positive for performance enhancing drugs in 2003. Those are the words that appeared in The Times and again according to The Times...
Mom: Hey Daughter: Mom, Dad this is Ryan. Mom: Oh this is the famous boy we’ve been hearing so much about. Ryan: Nice to finally meet you Mrs. Lead and sir. Dad: So Ryan what Warcraft server do you play on? Ryan: Is that on the computer? You know what I think I forgot the dessert in the car. Dad: Who do you think yo...
Announcer: "Deep inside this stimulus bill Congress buried an innocent counting board, The Federal Coordinating Council for Comparative Effectiveness Research. It's not so innocent. It's the first step in government control over your healthcare choices. This federal council is modeled after the national board that c...
"You're probably not a betting man are you?"
"Nothing is permanent, not even death."
"I had to take my pants off and nibble my Old Spice down to 3 oz just to get on the plane."
Don Ready: "Don't even get me started about Pearl Harbor. We are the Americans and they are the enemy. Never again." Crew: "Never again! Never again! Let's get him!"
"What's a Nigerian buy back?"
"Nobody tells DeeJay Request what to play."
please stay until im gone im here hold on to me im right here waiting and take my one last breath and dont forget that i will be right here waiting
"Nobody comes back late at night anymore. There's more security."
"Nobody really knew what this place was."
"I don't know it's got the markings here so it's definitely alien but it's not a weapon."
"Nixon looked so bad that people who heard on radio thought Nixon won and people who watched on television thought Kennedy won."
"Nixon looked terrible."
I have Mexican gas.
Are you gay?!
Get on your knees and eat out of my hand!
"I will tell you this: not everybody agrees with every decision that has been made no matter where it is or what organization it is in the National Football League or in Philadelphia. I know some people will not agree, but on the other hand I think the majority will. Fortunately, in this country if we handle ourselv...
"You are now in the hands of SS my hands to be exact."
"The unique thing about Teddy was it was never about him. It was always about you. It was never about him."
"This was not accidental, this was a homicide so now it's in the hand of the police department."
Laurie: "He's out there please!" Cop: "No there's no one out here."
Jimmy: "Alright here's a fun game I like to play in the pool, it's called Marco Polo. It goes like this. I close my eyes, I'm it and I yell Marco and then everyone else yells Polo." Man: "No, no, no that's not how we play it." Jimmy: "Well how do you play it?" Everyone: "Marco!" Coolio: "Coolio!"
"Good to see you, just need a little trim, the usual."
Man: "I know this much every pool party I go to that has black people there, nobody gets in the pool." Jimmy: "Okay so black people do have pool parties, alright."
"For the coin toss, you can get your pass picked off. Interceptions! You got to watch play actions! Got your quarterback, 'cause…sack them. Defense is blind. The OC attacking. Tiki is the captain. Eli do the passing. Giants! Scoring! Quarterback sneak! Now I'm looking for gold, do I take a chance and kick the ball t...
Now and mama got matchin titties.
Betty: Negro we cousins, that's nasty. So desperate, that's a damn shame. Clyde: You gonna play me for him? He got on an ankle bracelet.
Nobody ever died for dear old Rutgers, Nobody ever had a life to give When you're clipped by someone in the rear You hear a mighty cheer, But you're laid up for a year. So nobody ever died for dear old Rutgers Strangely enough they simply want to live The alumni won't admit it's true, but Nobody ever died for Rutger...
"Where you are right now doesn’t have to determine where you’ll end up. No one’s written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future. That’s what young people like you are doing every day, all across America."
"No one’s born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You’re not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song. You’ve got to practice. It’s the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times befo...
"Now I know it’s not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork. I get it. I know what that’s like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay...
"When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn’t have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday – at 4:30 in the morning. Now I wasn’t too happy about getting up that early. A lot of ti...
"Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don’t have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there’s not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don’t feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you...
"Now is the season for action. Now is when we must bring the best ideas of both parties together, and show the American people that we can still do what we were sent here to do. Now is the time to deliver on health care. Now is the time to deliver on health care."
"Here are the details that every American needs to know about this plan. First, if you are among the hundreds of millions of Americans who already have health insurance through your job, or Medicare, or Medicaid, or the VA, nothing in this plan will require you or your employer to change the coverage or the doctor ...
"First, I will not sign a plan that adds one dime to our deficits -- either now or in the future. (Applause.) I will not sign it if it adds one dime to the deficit, now or in the future, period. And to prove that I'm serious, there will be a provision in this plan that requires us to come forward with more spendi...
And one more misunderstanding I want to clear up -- under our plan, no federal dollars will be used to fund abortions, and federal conscience laws will remain in place.
"That is the work that we are doing. To date, eleven members of my Cabinet have visited the Gulf Coast, and I’m looking forward to going to New Orleans later this year. To complete a complex recovery that addresses nearly every sector of society, we have prioritized coordination among different federal agencies, and...
"None of us can forget how we felt when those winds battered the shore, the floodwaters began to rise, and Americans were stranded on rooftops and in stadiums. Over a thousand people would lose their lives. Over a million people were displaced. Whole neighborhoods of a great American city were left in ruins. Communi...
Tin Man: Not even a rhinocerous? Lion: Imposserous Dorothy: How bout a hippopotamus? Lion: Why I'd thrash him from top to bottomus. Dorothy: Supposin you met an elephant? Lion: I'd rap him up and sellephant. Scarecrow: What if it were a brontasaurus? Lion: I'll show him who's king of the forest. Group: How? Lion: H...
The Tins Man forgot to give me a heart. Dorothy&Scarecrow: No heart? Tin Man: No heart. All hollow.
"And we will require insurance companies to cover routine checkups and preventive care, like mammograms and colonoscopies. There’s no reason we shouldn’t be catching diseases like breast cancer and colon cancer on the front end. That makes sense, it saves lives, and it will also save money over the long-run. Take...
"We’ll prohibit insurance companies from denying coverage because of a person’s medical history. They will not be able to drop your coverage if you get sick. They will not be able to water down your coverage when you need it most. They will no longer be able to place some arbitrary cap on the amount of coverage y...
Negro, what the hell you doin to my woman?
"You just try to focus on that last one and to win that it's a great feeling to have and it's a little bit unfortunate that I didn’t have that but it's not going to take anything away from tomorrow's match or how special that will be for me."
Operator: Operator: Andy: Ah yes, hello, this is Dr. Grailin from the utilities commission - may I speak with the Sheriff please, we have a fire, it's very urgent. Opertaor: Nice try Mr. Farmer.
"We have had a long and important debate. But now is the time for action. Because every day we wait, more Americans will lose their health care, their businesses, and their homes – but also the dreams they’ve worked for and the peace of mind they deserve. They are why we have to succeed."
"First of all, if you are among the hundreds of millions of Americans who already have insurance through your job, or Medicare, or Medicaid, or the VA, nothing in my plan will require you or your employer to change the coverage or the doctor you have."
"And as I have said over and over again, I will not sign a plan that adds one dime to our deficits – period. This plan will be paid for. The middle-class will realize greater security, not higher taxes. And if we can successfully slow the growth of health care costs by just one-tenth of one percent each year, it wil...
"Again, I admit that I'm not as good as Belichick. But at the end of the game, I want to be 1-0 against him."
"There is no reason we shouldn’t win immediately. With the kind of players we have, the kind of coaching staff we’re bringing in here."
"I understand that the pressures and things like that that goes with the New York media and the expectations of a team coming off a 9 win season. I look at that as an opportunity and an opportunity that we can win immediately."
Chirped by @searayca
"I'm not gonna do that."
"It's not like it was anything magical or anything."
"No, no, no, no."
Jeff: You know what makes humans different from other animals? Troy: Feet. Pierce: No, no, bears have feet.
Just think, the next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.
Frank: Nice beaver. Jane: Thank you, I just had it stuffed.
Wilma, I promise you, whatever scum did this not one man on this force will rest for one minute until he's behind bars. Now let's grab a bite to eat.
Chirped by @johnnyliu
My Door Is Always Open?By: Noah And The Whale I will only, let you down I will only, let you down But my door, is always open Yeah my door, is always open Well I don't think, that I ever loved you But the world is dieing to meet you Oh black birds they sing off the mountains Joyeous love songs that drift...
"Thank you very much. Neil Patrick Harris this is how you host the Emmys, nice job."
Jon Cryer: Hello? Neil Patrick Harris: Question, its Neil. Jon Cryer: Yes. Neil Patrick Harris: How are ya? Jon Cryer: I’m great. Neil Patrick Harris: How did it feel when they called your name? Jon Cryer: Ooo it felt awesome. Neil Patrick Harris: I bet it did. Jon Cryer: Awesome.
Chirped by @DigiDj
Chirped by @kittylair
Chirped by @DigiDj
"But I'm here today to say that difficulty is no excuse for complacency. Unease is no excuse for inaction. And we must not allow the perfect to become the enemy of progress. Each of us must do what we can when we can to grow our economies without endangering our planet -- and we must all do it together. We must ...
Sydney: Oh, my blood bank's a few blocks away. I'm AB negative, it's extremely rare so I try to donate every couple weeks. Peter: Oh, that's really nice Sydney. Sydney: There's also this nurse there who I wanna fuck so badly.
Sydney: Oh man, no lag between the vag. Peter: What does that mean? Sydney: No lag time between vaginas.
Chirped by @nathanisariot
"The same sex couple is similarly situated to an opposite sex couples and therefore they're covered by the protection clause of the 14th amendment. And we know they are not similarly situation but once you assume that the rest of the logic follows."
"So I’m going to be back on stage at Peepshow every night because today I realized that I’m not going to let anyone like Perez Hilton say that Aubrey looks ugly unphotoshopped again."
Chirped by @DigiDj
Chirped by @arleo
Chirped by @ChandlerBenz
I should never think What's in your heart What's in our home So I won't You'll learn to hate me But still call me baby Oh Love So call me by my name And oh, save your soul save your soul Before you're too far gone Before nothing can be done I'll try to decide when She'll lie in the end I ain't got no fight in me ...
Chirped by @kvetska
"This debate is not a political game for these Americans, and they cannot afford to keep waiting for reform. We owe it to them to finally get it done – and to get it done this year. Thank you."
"And no matter how you get your insurance, insurance companies will no longer be allowed to deny you coverage because of a pre-existing condition. They won’t be able to drop your coverage if you get too sick or lose your job or change jobs. And we’ll limit the amount your insurance company can force you to pay out...
Chirped by @kvetska