McCain: "What's going on over there, Sarah?" Palin: "Oh, just talking about taxes."

Dave Bowman: "Open the pod bay door, HAL" HAL: "I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Open the pod doors, HAL."

"Some men are Baptists...others Catholics...My father was an Oldsmobile man."

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!

Dr. Evil: "Back in the 60's, I developed a weather changing machine which was in essence a sophisticated heat beam which we called a 'laser.' Using these 'lasers' we'd punch a hole in the protective layer around the world which we called the 'ozone' layer. Slowly but surely ultraviolet rays would pour in, increas...

"Hey Partner! C'mon, you gotta relax! Don't force it! You're gonna blow out your o-ring! Drop a lung!"

Spartan: "Alright Austin, what do you say we just do it the old fashioned way?" Huxley: "Ewww! Disgusting!!"

"Out here in the wilderness, fighting cowboys and indians on every side!

"Obama wants to make the airline industry illegal, did you know that?"

Elisabeth: "I do know that there were a lot of scared old Republicans shivering in their homes because of a Democrat!" Joy: "That's a lie! And also, who cares? Old people get scared all the time. If it wasn't a rock, it'd be something else." Elisabeth: "I care. I care."

"Five former Secretary of States who I admire enormously; Henry Kissinger, Jim Baker, Larry Eagleburger, Al Haig…uh…uh...Jim Baker, Henry Kissinger, Al Haig, Larry Eagleburger and one other."

"I'm going to place them in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death."

Lisa: "Did you ever wonder, how sad it is, that your son's only sexual outlet...is tossing off to magazines in the bathroom?" Gary's Mom: "OH, GARY!!" Gary: "MA! I NEVER TOSSED OFF TO ANYTHING!" Gary's Mom: "YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE COMBING YOUR HAIR!!" Gary: "BUT I WAS! I WAS!!"

"Out of Order?! Fuck! Even in the future, nothing works!"

Army General: "…..the all important, first attack wave, which we will call 'Operations Human Shield'" Chef: "Hey, wait a minute!" Army General: "Now keep in mind, Operation Human Shield will suffer heavy losses! Battalion 14? (everyone raises hand) Right, you are 'Operation get behind the darkies!' You will follow B...

"He owes the Griswolds, right? Fuckin' A right he owes us!"

"Ooh, it gets better!"

"Our mission is to monitor extraterrestrial activity on Earth."

"Oh, my poor wittle cwanium!"

Bugs: "Ahem, you wanna play a little one-on-one, doll?" Lola: "Doll?" Bugs: "Ah-heh!" Lola: "On the court...Buuugs!" Bugs: "Sure!"

"In 1966 Andy Dufresne escaped from Shawshank Prison. All they found of him was a muddy set of prison clothes, a bar of soap, and an old rock hammer damn near worn down to the nub. I remember thinking it would take a man 600 years to tunnel through the wall with it. Ol' Andy did it in less than twenty."

Some of you have heard that my grandmother who helped raise me passed away early this morning. And look, she has gone home. And she died peacefully in her sleep. With my sister at her side. And so there is great joy as well as tears. I'm not going to talk about it too long because its hard, a little, to talk about. ...

"One voice can change a room; and if a voice can change a room, it can change a city; and if it can change a city, it can change a state; and if it can change a state, it can change a nation; and if it can change a nation, it can change the world!"

One of us! One of us! Gooble gobble, gooble gobble! We accept her! We accept her! One of us! One of us! Gooble gobble, gooble gobble! One of us! One of us! (repeated)

"Offer him my sincere sympathy that his beloved grandmother did not live to see this day."

"One of the best campaigners I have ever seen."

"And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand."

"But I think what he is going to do, more than anybody else could is help us all to understand that it's not one person."

"Obama!"

"Oh, Bush impression. I'll miss you the most."

But I have to reiterate once again that we only have one President at a time.

A lot of shelter dogs are mutts like me!

"One Ring to rule them all. One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the Darkness bind them."

"One Ring to rule them all. One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the Darkness bind them."

"In 1966 Andy Dufresne escaped from Shawshank Prison. All they found of him was a muddy set of prison clothes, a bar of soap, and an old rock hammer damn near worn down to the nub. I remember thinking it would take a man 600 years to tunnel through the wall with it. Ol' Andy did it in less than twenty."

"If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it."

Lloyd: "If one beautiful girl can rip us apart like this then maybe our friendship isn't worth a damn, maybe we should call it quits right now." Harry: "You just show me where to sign bud." Lloyd: "RIGHT ON MY ASS AFTER YOU KISS IT!!!"

"Ooh, somebody step on a duck?"

"Oh my God, this girl's really turning me on."

Erin: Do you keep that bucket or do you throw that one away? We eat this. Erin: You eat the blood? yeah? Erin: OH HELL NO! YOU ARE CRAZY! UUUGH!

Erin: Do you keep that bucket or do you throw that one away? Mongolian mentor: We eat this. Erin: You eat the blood? Mongolian mentor: Yeah? Erin: OH HELL NO! YOU ARE CRAZY! UUUGH!

"There is no tension although I do think we're the only delegation where our meetings have an official taster."

"Only if the results will be presented in any future litigation against me."

"I had one incident with her, it was New Year's Night."

"I've only had, I would say, really in my adult life, two women, my ex-wife and the current girl that I'm involved with right now."

"I think what I represent is out of the box when you consider most conventional candidates for higher office, national office."

As far as Notre Dame's concerned, we're gonna have to "ease it up" a little bit. We can't stay as strict as we are as far as the academic structure is concerned...

James Bond: "Come in UNIVEX, James Bond here, over" Miss Moneypenny: "He's been asking for you all morning, where in the world are you James?" James Bond: "Well I've just been reviewing a old case" Sylvia Trench: "Oh so I'm an old case now am I?" James Bond: "Sssh, It's the office. Er tell them him ...

Dominique Derval: "I'm not with you" James Bond: "Oh you soon will be"

Russ: Think you might be over-doing it, Dad?", Clark: "Russ, when was the last time I over-did anything?"

"No fucking shit, lady, do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?"

"Oh, rats!"

Vinny: (states his objection), Judge: "Mr. Gambini?", Vinny: "Yes sir?", Judge: "That is a lucid, intelligent, well thought out objection.", Vinny: "Thank you, your Honor.", Judge: "Overruled!"

"Oh, Jesus! Damnit!"

"One ping only (Ping sound)"

Bond: "Have you ever killed someone? Your training will tell you that when the adrenaline kicks in you should compensate... but part of you isn't going to believe the training because this kill is personal. Take a deep breath, you only need one shot. Make it count."

"When you love somebody that much, you're happy when they're out of pain, period."

Roseanne: "Oh, Jackie, please, I just want, like, one Thanksgiving without all the insanity." Jackie: "How do you gonna avoid that? They're gonna be here for 24, count them, 24 mind-numbing hours."

"Okey dokey. Look out. Fore!"

"I wish and I know you all wish that there is sort of one action that we can take and all of this would end and the economy would turn around and the financial system would be in the kind of shape we would like it to be. But that's not the world we live in today."

Ralphie: "Oh, fudge." Narrator: "Only I didn't say 'fudge.' I said the word. The big one. The queen mother of dirty words. The 'f, dash, dash, dash' word."

"Obama wins, flawless victory."

"At this defining moment in our nation's history the old ways of thinking and the old ways of acting just wont do."

"This board is modeled on the President's foreign intelligence advisory board created by President Eisenhower to provide rigorous analysis and rigorous oversight to our intelligence communities by individuals outside the government."

"No in order to humble Kanye, last night I launched operation humble Kanye. Calling on you the nation to buy my album on iTunes."

"I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you're emotions going."

"That O.J. did it."

"Watchmen, one of us dies tonight."

Woman: "Jen thinks that there is going to be a nuclear war." Rorschach: "What if that's why somebody wants us out of the way. So we cant do anything to stop it."

"There you go... Why don't we just ask Osama Bin La uh Osama Obama uh Obama whats his, since he won by such a big amount."

Dave: "Cause I'm lonely." Daughter: "But…" Dave: "I'm lonely, and…I have no children in my life." Daughter: "So what. You have me, you have Haley." Dave: "Oh shut, fuck you, you don't even have a life." Daughter: "Huh?"

Oh my God, he just ran in!

Oh gee, oh fuck.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

"Oh God." "Oh for."

"There's only one communist party. The communist party that puts out this pamphlet. It is the same communist party that tells 5th amendment communists how they should testify."

"So tonight I would like to put all those doubts to rest. Tonight, I would like to announce to my hometown of Chicago that I am ready for the Bears to go all the way, baby!"

"Only Snorlax can hold ten - Look at him! He's fucking huge! He's more ripped than you!"

"Me and the one big guy and that one little guy, we're a one man army…or a three man oney…a three to one marney?"

"Oh yeah."

"You dress up like me this year and the ladies will flock to you like the Poopsmith to an overflowing toilet."

"I'd be so cool, that even if you were a dude, I'd still call at you like you were a lady. Sorry ma'am, would you mind helping an old wintergreen gather his spectacles?"

"I feel so cleansed, so fresh and so clean clean."

"And another thing, there's nothing here but old ladies hanging around this mound. Wearin' their moomoos and their tutus and all their dainty McDainty crap, like, I don't like old ladies, I don't even wanna see 'em."

Brad: "Hey Mom, guess what? I got invited to a party tonight! And I'm gonna go if that's ok with you." Mom: "NOOO!!" Brad: "Why not Mom?" Sister: "Yeah, why mom? He should go." Brad: "It's gonna be fun. I'll get to meet new people..." Mom: "They're all gonna laugh at you!" Brad: "Oh mom..." Mom: "They're all gonna l...

"Shit organ donors is for people with no faith at all. What if they figure out a way to being you back from the dead? Now I got no eyes."

"You know why you gotta settle down eventually? You don't want to be the old guy in the club."

"Was an old lady lived in a shoe, she had so many kids, her uterus fell out."

"Was an old lady lived in a shoe, she had so many kids, her uterus fell out, eh!"

"Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her old dog a bone. She bent over…oh! She got a bone of her own."

"Man ladies you can call me crazy, but I think every man, every straight man, has a rule. That would be the one penis per fantasy rule. My dick is the star of my fantasy. My dick is the star of my fantasy, nobody else's dick is guest starring in my shit. This is a Dave Chappell joint."

"I know there's a lot of women in here with one dick they regret. And I bet it wasn't a President's dick. I bet you he worked at Kenney Shoes or Safeway or some shit like that."

"Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"Open your fucking ears, jackass."

"Oon dah, do hah."

"Conspiracy to commit a crime, one year in the county jail."

"Committed a crime, he did it with guns and he's going to be where he belongs with others of his kind. Then he can complain there."

"He's going to be where he belongs with others of his kind."

"Oh, a wise guy. Nyuk nyuk."

"Right now, across America, the finest products in the world are rolling off our assembly lines, and the proudest, most determined, most productive workers in the world are on the job."

Stephen: "WHAT KEEPS A FAMILY TOGETHER BUTTERS?" Butters: "A well organized pantry…" Stephen: "THAT'S RIGHT!"

"Oh brother."

Lucy Van Pelt: "Pig-Pen, you're the innkeeper." Pig-Pen: "In spite of my outward appearance, I shall try to run a neat inn."

"ooooOO"

Charlie-In-The-Box: "I am the official sentry of the Isle of Misfit toys." Hermey: "A jack-in-the-box for a sentry?" Charlie-In-The-Box: "Yes. My name is..." Rudolph: "Don't tell me: Jack." Charlie-In-The-Box: "No, Charlie. That's why I'm a misfit toy. My name is all wrong. No child wants to play with a Charlie-In-T...

"I mean that the credit crunch is way over blown. The financials are being given away they're so unbelievably cheap. Many of the research companies have gotten really whacked and are cheap at this point."

"Owah owah is my disco call."

A fortune in fabulous prizes may go to these people today if they know when the Price is Right!

"Ole, ole, ole… USA! USA!"

Boy #1: "What will we call him? Yeah, should we call him Harold?" Boy #2: "Bruce?" Children: "No." Girl #1: "Christopher Columbus?" Children: "Oh no." Boy #3: "Oatmeal?" Children: "Oatmeal?!"

"Yeah, obviously."

"On the net, he can find out practically anything about you."

"Let's open the CBS Mailbag."

Oh Oh Oh!

"Outta Beer."

"Ooooh mmmm you make me sooo wet..."

"Oh Joy!"

"OooooH No!"

"How we select on American Idol. It's an open audition. We don't research people. It's everyone turns up because they want to be on the show."

Man: "Is every damn woman in this damn hell hole out of her damn mind." Woman: "No sir."

Coach: "What I'd do was, I'd get up there and lean my body into the pitch, right, and well sometimes I took one right in the old melon, but, I, I mean, I really made a science out of it, I became a master, well here, try to miss me." Diane: "Aww" Coach: "You ready? Ok, here we go." Diane: "I'm not going to get ...

"Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience."

"Ok, Fellers."

"One last stop to adventure, in the amazing year four billion."

"Oh pleeeeeeease!"

"Open says me!"

"Oh Brother!"

"Oh come on Charlie Brown."

"Oh yes, the eunuchs!"

"Oh damn..."

"Oh shi..."

"Ooooo boy..."

"Oh this is dreadful, has your memory been destroyed?"

"Oh, Magoo, you've done it again!"

"First time in 23 years our minds are synchronized."

"Oh this is really annoying."

"Oh yeah, this can't miss."

"Oh come on."

"Oh you're crazy."

"Oooooo yes."

"Oy vey."

"I feel like I'm an out of work porn star."

Lucy: "Daddy, you're out of your mind." McClane: "What are you talkin' about?" Lucy: "You Shot yourself!" McClane: "It seemed like a good idea at the time. Don’t tell these guys that I did that."

"Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver. So was Eddie Haskell, Wally and Ms. Cleaver."

"Remember, only G.I. Joe is G.I. Joe."

"Believe me, Ovaltine's got what it takes to helo you be a leader in your gang."

"Oh, oh, oh, who’s that dunker, who's that cruncher? Who's that cruncher? Who's that muncher? With O-r-e-o. A dunker, whatever your attraction. Nabisco."