"Make your peace with God, A.J.!"

Truman: "You said we did a bad job of putting it together?" Harry: "No, I said you did a piss-poor job of putting it together."

"I guess we're playing for keeps now-- I guess the kidding around is pretty much over, huh?"

"Not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure, she's a great piece of tail with a blouse full of goodies, but it's just illegal."

Barry: "Use you're brain Julie. We call the police and we're fucked." Julie: "It was an accident."

Pnub: "Anton, I've gotta ask. What's with the hand?" Anton: "It doesn't obey me at all, so the only thing I can come up with it's gotta be possessed."

"I'm possessed!!!"

"When things are at their darkest, pal, it's a brave man who can kick back and party."

"Play with it, pal, but don't talk to it."

"I am not getting fucked, because I was sweet enough to play a clever little prank on my girlfriend for her birthday."

Courtney: "Liz is dead. Do you have any idea what that means?" Marcie: "That you're a shoo-in for prom queen?"

"An environment fit for blending. For you, a security nightmare, for him....paradise."

Lorna: "This PMS, it's murder!" Murtaugh: "Yeah, uh, I know what you mean. I been married 25 years."

Murtaugh: "What are you doing with a police scanner?" Leo: "Ah, ah, ah, what am I, ah? Hello, Car 54, where are you?"

"Where in the hell did you get him, Psychos-R-Us?"

"Everybody thinks I'm suicidal, in which case I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Or they think I'm fakin' to draw a psycho pension in which case I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically I'm fucked."

Hurley: "I don't think we should lie dude." Jack: "We need to protect the people that we left behind Hurley." Hurley: "How does lying protect them." Jack: "It protects them from Charles Widmore."

"Pursuant to the Impeachment trial rule 11b the trial shall precede as if the governor had entered a plea of not guilty."

"Precisely, Sir Altitude!"

"Geez, you're real nice. If I didn't have puke breath, I'd kiss you."

"If I was as pathetic as you are, I would have killed myself ages ago, you should get on with it."

"Do you still have any powers?"

"Dammit! You call that blocking?! You pussy pukes!"

"The hard part about playing 'chicken' is knowing when to flinch."

Cory: "Go stick your head in that speaker and you'll be screaming play that funky music white boy!" Joe: "The screaming part I believe."

"I've worked around predators since I was 20 years old, lions, jackals, hyenas, You."

"But when I see the blood upon your door, I will pass over you and the plague shall not enter."

Tretiak's Aide: "How does it look, for the leader's son, to walk out when the leader speaks?" Ivan Tretiak's son: "You prefer the leader's son to piss his pants on live TV? Hmm?"

Robbie: "Why would any girl ever marry me?" Sammy: "Marry you? I'm just trying to get someone to play with your ding dong."

Interrogation about a Plethora

"You're gonna pay me to take out some chick?"

"I'm proud of ya. Now get the hell out of here."

"You're a pathetic loser. Nobody gives a damn about you."

Bobby: "I'm picking you up tomorrow at nine." Jeff: "For what?" Bobby: "What do you mean for what, for work." Jeff: "Nine, God that's early."

Chief Rash: "Jeff, did your mother suffer from any medical conditions you might know of?" Jeff: "I think she had a personality disorder."

"Man! You are one pathetic loser!"

Harry: "My parakeet Petey, he's dead." Lloyd: "Oh I'm sorry. What happened?" Harry: "His head fell off!"

"You have power beyond imagination. Use it well, my friend. Don't lose your head!"

Kelly: "You've got bridging equipment, over. Bellamy: "That's a five hour operation, can you hold on for five hours, over." Man: "No No Move! Ah No Move!" Kelly: "Bellamy, we're not gonna hold on for five minutes, now you can catch up!" Bellamy: "Kelly, we're all in this together, you can't go it alone, over." Kell...

Butters: "The found him on a rooftop nearby, strangled. And get this, pigeons ate his eyeballs!" Riggs: "Cool."

Riggs: "Yeah, there's something I'm not supposed to tell you, too. Rianne's pregnant, you're gonna be a grandfather!" Murtaugh: "Rianne's WHAT?"

"Cerrano's doing some interesting limbering up exercises in right... what a pansy!"

"What exactly is your problem?"

"Did I give you permission to sneeze Opie?"

"Ba-Dee, Ba-Dee, Ba-Dee, what are you laughing at pig-boy?"

"Apparantly he pissed all over the front of his pants."

"Pimp daddy Payne"

"Maybe what he needs is for you to pop your:"

"Plaxico Burress everyone."

"I mean perfectly legal. Did you know that? Well it's true."

"Being Vinnie Vedecci is pornography 20 hours, 8 discs."

"Don't worry Pudding."

"Way to go Papa San."

"Peachy Pork Pie."

"That place you always wanted George."

"Has been Pop Star."

"How about you shut up Pam Hole."

"Yeah well Hem says even though Pippy Long Stalking and that damn Grape Ape are ideal candidates for the dirty dozen. I'm just going to say we might want to bring the Red Burette."

"Yo yourself Pillsbury."

"Tell me Ponce de Leon where are we supposed to go?"

"You know the only place I get hurt is out there."

"I've protected them."

"We are the Globo-Gym Purple Cobras."

"What is so important that you need to interrupt me during my private reflection period."

"I would love to see that pretty little bone structure of yours around here some more."

"Please shut up."

"We're going to piss off a lot of people who want to see us wrestle."

"Wow you're pretty quick for a big guy."

Lord Vortigan: "How are you? I know I've been a little hot tempered. Patience is not one of my virtues." Merlin: "Oh you have so few of those I wouldn't concern myself too much with that one Sire."

"And most amazingly, in the book of Daniel, an angel tells him to seal up the book until the end of days, but Rostenberg may have found the key to unlock it! See, he believed that the Bible was actually a holographic computer program! And that instead of two dimensions, it should be studied in three! If this could b...

"Another example... the computer found Princess and Diana encoded at the same skip distance. And around it, Paris... Tunnel... even Aug. August! And 5757... 1997 in our calendar! THE VERY MONTH AND YEAR SHE WAS KILLED!"

Clark: "Did you know that blackjack is the only game where a smart player has a mathematical advantage over the house?" Girl at Blackjack Table: "Are you a professional?" Clark: "Hmm? Nah, not really....Are you?"

"Alright ladies, let's play ball."

"You know, you could put somebody's eye out with that thing."

"Patience Iago, patience."

"Now run along and play with your little toys, hmmm?"

"I put the 'grr' in swinger baby!"

"Fabieo: "It's pretty clever, huh bitch? (pause, then gunshot) Jesus." Cyrus: "No, that's clever."

"If any of you so much as passes gas in my direction if offends my delecate nasal passages. Your testiclas will become my personal property."

"Cyrus is a poster child for the criminally insane."

"Don't you puke on my shoes Harry."

"Would you look at the poor man? Hah hah hah!"

"Password."

"Damn! I've got to put all that shit back on, god dammit."

Lilly: "What makes you think he'll call again?" Frank: "Oh he'll call again..he's got panache." Lilly: "Panache?" Frank: "Yeah it means flamboyance." Lilly: "I know what it means." Frank: "Really, I had to look it up."

"AAAAAAAAH! PINS AND NEEDLES! Ooooooo... pins and needles... pins and needles."

"I want to punch the economy in the face."

"Mom puts me in time out. This is bull shit. Complete bull shit."

"If you hate going to work, no one respects you, you always wish you were somewhere else, you cry constantly and you day dream of punching small animals, it may be time."

"Take a look at your TV, right here. If this doesn't say Vizio you probably paid way too much. It's a good thing we're not counting on you to deliver a stimulus package, except for you Mr. President."

"Priceline negotiator!"

"But who cares I am 100% my own man. By the way I had my name legally changed to Pepsuber so if you can keep that in mind when addressing me."

"Pepsuber!"

"Sound too good to be true. Come and see us and we'll put it in writing for you. Visit HyundaiUSA.com for details."

"All it takes is someone to plant a seed."

Man 1: "Will I finally get that big promotion." Man 2: "Promotion…not in your near future."

Dr. Sobel: "You don't hear the word 'no' very often, do you?" Paul: "Yeah I do but it's more like 'Please noo noo'"

"Perfect"

Mary:"Pat do you want a Budweiser or a Hiney?"Pat:"Yeayea whatever. Cmon puffer! Stay away from the light!"Mary:"Ok, I'll just get you a regular."

"Puffer doesnt like bad guys does he? Puffer, Puffer?"

"And you know that Puffy, he only barks at the bad people."

"At three years old he successfully negotiated a later bed time using very convincing pie charts."

"After High School he applied to Princeton for the position of Dean."

"But despite all his confidence when it comes to car buying he's just as nervous as the rest of us. So at 28 David Abernathy used Car.com to regain his confidence and get the perfect car at the perfect price."

"When you can play a game like this I think you have to be proud of all the players and coaches and everything that they laid out on that field today."

"And it was a performance for the ages."

"It's definitely a pleasure to be here."

"I was naive, and I wanted to prove to everyone that, you know, I was worth, you know _ and being one of the greatest players of all time."

Thank you very much, everybody. Thank you very much. This morning, we woke up to more sobering news about the state of our economy. The 240,000 jobs lost in October marks the 10th consecutive month that our economy has shed jobs. In total, we've lost nearly 1.2 million jobs this year, and more than 10 million Ame...

"Maybe next year we can put some pretty blonde hair and some make up on our robot." Robot: "From the side lines of Super 44 this is Robot Reporter 2000."

Pulse Tone Sound

"And say what? Please remove your dick from my ass?"

"I'm providing myself to my children. I'm loving them unconditionally, accepting them unconditionally, everything I do. I'll stop my life for them and be present with them. And hold them. And be with them. And how many parents do that? I'm sure there are many that do but many don't. And that's unfortunate and that's...

"My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery."

Oh I'm sorry, do you have some prior commitment? Some hideous skirt convention you have to go to?

I'm sure you have plenty more polyblend where that came from.

"If I give you good price, will you please put in pussy magnet?"

"I had learned that if you chase a dream, especially one with plastic chests, you can miss the real beauty infront of your eyes."

"I wouldn't bring up Paris if I were you. It's poor salesmanship."

"You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going."

"But it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world."

"This is a pleasant fiction, isn't it."

"You will provide me with an heir of pure blood so that Commodus and his progeny will rule for a thousand years."

"I've been played like a grand piano by the master Gecko the Great."

Spradling:"I'm gonna charge him.", Kaffee:"With what? Possesion of a condiment?"

"Oh, now I see what you're saying! It had to be Professor Plum in the library with the candlestick!"

"Pour the drink you fairy fuck."

Lightning: "Mack! Mack! You're not Mack." Red/Peterbuilt: "Mack? I ain't no mack! I'm a Peterbuilt, for dang sake!"

"Pretty music."

"Pit stop."

Doc: "Guido! Luigi! You're goin' up against professional pit crews, boys. You're gonna have to be fast." Luigi: "The will not know what bit them!"

"Aw not with the power of Christ on my side, sir."

"Well, well, well, Pickle fucker."

"Man this tastes like piss and flies, don't it?"

"Now why not dance this year's final dance to the Pachenga?"

Joe: "So, uh, you an artist or something?" Rita: "Uh, yeah." Joe: "You do paintings or--" Rita: "Yeah, paintings." Joe: "Okay, great." Rita: "Mm-hmm." Joe: "What do you paint mostly?" Rita: "I don't know, just people and fruit and shit."

"Ahhh, Padre?" [whistles]

Otto: "Despite you thievery, we are prepared to buy it from you right now, in cash." Todd Wolfhouse:"Big deal, a suitcase full of monopoly money." Otto:"Come on, those are Euros." Landfill:"What's that, like pesos? Yeah, come on." Gunter:"This is legal European tender." Otto:"See, I told you we should have brought D...

Barry Badrinath: [after drinking Ram's piss] "Oh man, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever drank." Landfill: "I doubt that very much, playboy."

"One time, he farted a whole plumb…I was plumb surprised."

Barry: "Todd, sorry about porking your wife." Todd: "Barry, you can pork my wife anytime."

"Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase."

"Your kids are starving. Carl's Jr. believes no child should go hungry. You are an unfit mother. Your children will be placed in the custody of Carl's Jr."

"Police, open the door!"

"Hey, Boris... what would you do... if I told you... your pinko Commie mother sucked so much dick, her face looks like an egg?"

"Shut your fat ass Raimey. I can't buy a pack of smokes without running into 9 guys you fucked."

"Punch the keys, for God's sake! "

Jungle Car Guy 1: Hello. Peter Griffin: Hey how is everyone doing? What's up? Jungle Car Guy 1: My dick's in your Mom's mouth, that's what's up? Peter Griffin: Ok you want to play rough?

Peter Grffin: Policy number? Geico Woman: Hello. Peter Griffin: Hello, what's a going on? Geico Woman: I'm sorry. Can I have your policy number? Peter Griffin: No way, it's too dangerous. Hello? Geico Woman: Yes sir? Peter Griffin: How's everybody doing? Geico Woman: Good. Peter Griffin: What's up? Geico Wo...

"The President will get back his baseball glove and play catch with this guy's balls."

"Hansel pushed the poor defenseless witch into the oven, where she was burned alive, writhing in agony. Now, boys and girls, what do you think that feels like?"

"I am the proud owner of a central nervous system!"

"We should be ruling the humans, not running around making back alley treaties with them. For fuck's sake these people are our food."

Tulley: "Alright I'm leaving. I don't want no t..." Miles: "Freeze! Put your hands on the pavement! Put your hands on the pavement!" Tulley: "There is no pavement." Miles: "Well then put them on the Oodles of Noodles. Put 'em on the noodles!" Tulley: "Chicken or beef!?!" Miles: "Chicken."

"Do you understand the concept - poor impulse control?"

“Don't go by the book! Think like a pirate!”

“Hello, I'm a nocturnal placental flying mammal, a member of the family of pterididi, or, pteri-didn't-I!”

"It's like the one time in my life I smoked pot. Didn't want to do it in the first place, I had a horrible time once I did it, and then Ronnie Templeton's little brother called the police and we all got arrested! The ONE time I ever did anything illegal!”

Kate: “Ohhh, THIS problem!” Jean Luc: “Not a problem!”

“Peer pressure's a terrible thing when you're a girl in college!”

"Alright! Pussy, pussy, pussy...come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashin' pussy in half! Give us an offer on our best selection of pussy, this is a pussy blowout! Alright we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy. We got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got smell...

Master Chief: "Pain is your friend, your ally it will tell you when you are seriously injured. It will keep you awake and angry and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain?" Jordan: "Don't know!" Master Chief: "It lets you know you're not dead yet."

"The Mississippi broke through a protective dike today... what is.. what is a protective dike? Is it a large woman standing by the river going (in burly voice) "Don't go near there!" But Betty! "Don't go near there...get away from the river! Stay away from there!" I know we can't use the word dyke, we can't even say...

“I'm possessed!”

“Just what I always wanted, my own little bunny rabbit. I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him.”

Man: "What's that?" Harry Callahan: "Plastic Explosive." Man: "A bomb!" Harry: "That's right. You'd have bothered me any more we'd all be stuck to the ceiling now. Here, would you like to hold it?"

“You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs!”

"From the minute you're out of office they don't care enough about you to kill you anymore... people are fickle!"

"If you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere near up to and including one mile of Adolf Hitler, with a clear line of sight sir, pack your bags fellas, war's over. Amen."

(Pulsing tone of red alert.)

"Intermix set bridge. Impulse power at your discretion."

"The President can't just go out on a date."

President: "She didn't say anything about me?" A.J: "Well no sir, but I can pass her a note before study hall."

"We have a few leads, a few other options that we want to take advantage of, and just try to put together some pieces to this puzzle."

"You're having a psychotic episode! That automatically puts me in charge!"

"Aww, now that is in poor taste."

“For the Pete of sake... the sate of Peke”

Newton: “Where are you from, anyway?” Ben: “Bakersfield, originally.” Newton: “No, I mean your ancestors.” Ben: “Oh, them. Pittsburgh.”

Joaquin: “Well I’d love to come on the show and perform some time. I’m working on it.” Dave: “You know that seems unlikely."

On your way to work tomorrow, instead of sitting around with your finger up your ass, look around," the voiceover says. "There's a union out there called AFSCME and they're busting their balls doing a lot of shit work you take for granted. For example, we pick up your fucking garbage.

"If she starts talking as Mary Catherine suggested…her instinct is to start with this blame America…I'm the victim…if that stuff starts to come out people will go bananas."

“Make your peace with God, A.J.!”