Clark: Okay let's go! Ellen: We can't leave her on the patio. Clark: Would you rather I slipped her in the night deposit box at the funeral home? Come on. Ellen: It's raining all over her. Rusty: She can't catch a cold now mom.
Clark: Well, how old are you little one? Eddie: She's born without a tongue Clark. But don't you worry about her, she whistles like a bird and eats like a horse.
Sorry folks, we're closed for two weeks to clean and repair America's favorite family fun park. Sorry!
Jerry: I thought it was like an igloo. Bubble Boy's dad: No it's clear. Elaine: Who has the remote? Bubble Boy's dad: He does. Elaine: The remote goes through the bubble? Bubble Boys' dad: Yeah. He's in the bubble with the remote. Jerry: So you have no control over the remote. Bubble Boy's dad: No, it's frustrating.
Atheta, Atheta! That's okay, she be back, another quaalude, she'll love me in the mornin. Ain't that right Frank.
Peter Venkman: "So What are we doing today Zuul?" Dana Barrett: "We must prepare for the coming of Gozer!" Peter Venkman: "Gozer huh." Dana Barrett: "The Destructor."
"We can still hear his voice bellowing through the Senate chamber, face reddened, fist pounding the podium, a veritable force of nature, in support of health care or workers' rights or civil rights. And yet, while his causes became deeply personal, his disagreements never did. While he was seen by his fiercest criti...
"Today we say goodbye to the youngest child of Rose and Joseph Kennedy. The world will long remember their son Edward as the heir to a weighty legacy; a champion for those who had none; the soul of the Democratic Party; and the lion of the U.S. Senate — a man whose name graces nearly one thousand laws, and who penne...
"This spirit of resilience and good humor would see Ted Kennedy through more pain and tragedy than most of us will ever know. He lost two siblings by the age of sixteen. He saw two more taken violently from the country that loved them. He said goodbye to his beloved sister, Eunice, in the final days of his own life....
Operator: This is….what’s the address of the emergency? Man: What street are we on right now? We’re on…about… Operator: You’re at the valley to Santa Monica. We’re probably right before the tunnels there on the way out on…you’re still on the valley side. Man: Okay so… Operator: See hang on do you know any streets we...
"But in the end, where do you start? Where do you start to say thank you for all the help and support that you received over your career? That’s pretty easy; Where I start is with Heidi, my wife."
Yes me, the same guy who once shaved his ass to win a $5 bet.
Jimmy: "You mean the lighter the complexion the more likely it is that people can swim?" Man: "I've seen an albino walk on water."
Jimmy: "Kid of Get in Play." Man: "No he has a sponge on his head. The pool would be empty. He would sit at the bottom with no water."
"It's just like strong cigarette. Can you believe this?"
Life is hard - It's harder if you're stupid.--- John Wayne
Clark: Hey there's Buckingham Palace kids, that's where the Queen lives and works. Rusty: Works? What does she do dad? Clark: She queens and vacuums.
Rusty: What the hell is this? Clark: Nobody knows for sure Rus, some people think it's a calendar, others think it's astronomers tool. You know a lot of people think this is built from men from outer space.
All I want is to reach the horizon Where these skimming stones go on forever For as they sink, I sink with them Just to hold your hand right now Would be all that I know And I'll take you down To the depths of my soul I'd sink in that bliss, in that oneness Lord I still don't really know how to love you The way yo...
Especially someone who has shown very little interest in his family. Roscoe: Yeah sir but... Papa Jenkins: If you can find the time to explore the mind of a stripper or sisters gone wild with your so called family, then you can find the time to spend with your actual family.
You need to be afraid of her. You don't watch wild kingdom? You ain't never seen a lion attack a gazelle? She bout to smack the cover girl off your face. You better get up outta here.
Bianca: There are no second chances for washed up prom queens. Betty: Ohh, that was painful. You a bad bitch, you bad! Lucinda: A bad bitch Betty? Please, okay, she is a fake celebrity. Alright, her only claim to fame is trading her panties for peanut butter. Betty: That's some nasty shit there.
Sittin up there cryin, he still wearing the pajamas with the feet in them.
CAROLINA! Go Cocks! Go Gamecocks! Go Gamecocks! Go Gamecocks!
We hail thee, Carolina, and sing thy high praise With loyal devotion, remembering the days When proudly we sought thee, thy children to be: Here's a health, Carolina, forever to thee! Since pilgrims of learning, we entered thy walls And found dearest comrades in thy classic halls We've honored and loved thee as son...
"And then there’s Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods, she managed to get a job at a local health center; start a program to keep young people out of gangs; and she’s on track to graduate high school with honors and g...
"It’s the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who fo...
"And we’ve got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I’m glad you all could join us today."
"Another woman from Texas was about to get a double mastectomy when her insurance company canceled her policy because she forgot to declare a case of acne. By the time she had her insurance reinstated, her breast cancer had more than doubled in size. That is heart-breaking, it is wrong, and no one should be treate...
"These are only the most recent signs that the economy is turning around, though these signs are little comfort to those who’ve experienced the pain of losing a job in the previous month, or in the previous two years of this recession. That’s why it is so important that we remain focused on speeding our economic rec...
"Second, we’ll make it easier for people to save their federal tax refunds, which 100 million families receive. Today, if you have a retirement account, you can have your refund deposited directly into your account. With this change, we’ll make it easier for those without retirement plans to save their refunds as we...
"As we spend time with family and friends this Labor Day weekend, many of us will also be thinking about the state of working America. Yesterday, we received a report showing that job losses have slowed dramatically compared to just a few months ago. Earlier in the week, we learned that the manufacturing sector has ...
With poison in it, but attractive to the eye and soothing to smell.
Scarecrow: Then I'm sure to get a brain. Tin Man: A heart. Dorothy: A home. Lion: The nerve.
As soon as I got my check, I was gone!
Pinky: But where the weed at? Craig: I ain't got no... Pinky: Shut the fuck up, shut, did I say? Shit, say again, say somethin else, say somethin else nigga.
You wait till I tell baby cause she gonna fuck you up!
Craig: Nobody say... Pinky: Say another mother fuckin word and this shit is over.
Several moments ago I watched as Sarah Palin delivered an inspiring speech to the nation and I was proud to be a conservative. Today’s celebration reminds me of just how blessed I am to be an American. When I was given the opportunity to compete in the Tropicana Speech Contest I knew that I would write about somethi...
"It was a simple process initially I was actually in the no thrill section in the supermarket and I got a chance to see that Poland Spring water for $2.69 and they had a whole other section where they're selling spring water for 50 cents."
"You saw it before it actually happened."
"He's so not gay."
"She sees things that other people don’t. She doesn't pretend to be somebody she's not."
"I never had a mother, but he never had a childhood. And when you never get to have something, you become obsessed by it. I spent my childhood searching for my mother figures; sometimes I was successful. But how do you recreate your childhood when you are under the magnifying glass of the world for your entire life?"
"Michael Jackson was born in August, 1958. so was I. Michael Jackson grew up in the suburbs of the Midwest. So did I. Michael Jackson had eight brothers and sisters. So do I. When Michael Jackson was 6 he became a superstar and was perhaps the world's most beloved child. When I was 6 my mother died. I think he got t...
"I didn't say I would kill you! Are you serious?! Are you serious?! I didn't say that!"
"If I could, I would take this … ball and shove it down your … throat and kill you"
"All year I've never been foot faulted and then suddenly in this tournament they keep calling foot faults on me…I'm not saying I don't but like I don't know."
Do you feel like this at all? Could you make it up for me? And while you're at it could you tell me again so I could hear it from the start, would you please? You know i should have known. I should have listened and believed. But I was so caught up in something that I thought could be the difference and I wanted ...
"He struck a philosophical note as he reflected on his journey through Hollywood."
"As soon as I gave the mic back to her and she didn't keep going."
Elizabeth: Testicles? Guy: Yes mam, sheep balls. Tell em why yours are so tasty. Waitress: Well the trick is, you got to clip them off way up high.
Dean: "Dude, does she work here?" Joel: "Yeah, she's a temp." Dean: "She's a tramp?!?!" Joel: "Temp!"
You tell me you're fine and thats ok. But is it alright to feel this way? Cause I know you do. And I know you will. We all have reasons not to change. Everyone makes the same mistakes. I know you do. And I know you will. I tell you don't be the same as me. And if you just try I know you'll see. I know that one day...
Not like you would, I could believe it. I could see it all the while. But will I find the change, the silence, all the ways to make the mind? The steps are chosen. I will follow them until the very end. The heart is broken. Hide beneath the trail of all that you deny. So in time when only you decide with my head...
I'm really gonna be sorry to see the Farmers go.
You're sinking into a pit of self pity defeatism and alcohol and you're enjoying it.
"I wasn't surprised because I saw her play I think in Cincinnati and she played incredible and I thought wow this is someone to watch out for."
"So if you’re willing to put country before party and the interests of our children above our own; if you refuse to settle for a politics where scoring points is more important than solving problems; and if you believe, as I do, that America can still come together to do great things – then join us. Give us your hel...
Chirped by @kittylair