"She reminds me of my own mom: tough love, consistency, a little mustache in a certain light."

"We'll start with some make-up."

They find me... whisper things

"So they fucking did it."

"Each one of these together was so interesting."

"Security regulation and coordination has to be done on a global basis."

"In trying to stave off some type of volatile reaction to what may happen in one country."

"Now we're slightly below 20 times leverage."

"But there's still more to be done."

"It's like a short seller on steroids."

"I believe the system was in danger."

"If you go to Europe you're seeing the same thing."

"Stability could happen pretty quickly."

"If you are the CEO of some company and here's a chance that you can build a strategic footprint that's much broader and bigger, you're going to see a lot of activity, I believe in an imminent market."

"We need to stop the deterioration of housing prices."

"We have 600 billion in the asset management business, the business we want to continue to build and grow."

"2009 is going to be a slow period of growth for the United States and the world."

"Hopefully some kind of the absolute value of it comes through, you know."

"Some people thing you've got to spread the wealth around."

"So guess what? We never sat down at the table together."

"The Americans want us to sit down together."

"I will sit down and negotiate the way I have done in the past."

"Which Sen. Obama has never done."

"And Sen. Biden expects -- his own running mate expects Sen. Obama to be tested in that way?"

"I'm sick and tired, and the American people are sick and tired, of the pork barrel spending."

"The democrats shouldn't be proud of adding 100 billion dollars of pork barrel spending."

"We all know that we are in a situation of severe financial crisis."

"Some of us proposed legislation to fix it."

"We should have started long ago towards vetoing these bills."

"If we had not done what we did to set this whole house of cards up, we wouldn't be faced with these situations we have today."

"And the next time you feel like showing off, don't."

"This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence."

Caroline: "I just cannot believe that it's over between me and Steve, you know. I mean, maybe there's still hope." Ben: "Well, he did take out a restraining order against you, and I have to be honest, that's usually not a good sign."

Ben: "Oh, now you're gonna tell me it was a suicide?" Paul: "I think he left a note. Jelly, did they find that note?" Jelly: "Ah, no, but they will in a minute." Ben: "Oh let me guess what it says...'Life is bullshit...I can't fuckin' take it anymore...signed, the dead guy.'" Jelly: "Hey, that's good, doc."

"www dot shhh dot com...dot org."

"Tis the season to be merry."

"Dad? I'm sorry I shot you."

"Marla, the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal, if only you could just stop tounging it, but you can't."

Narrator: "This is crazy, you want me to hit you." Tyler: "That's right." Narrator: "Where, like in the face?" Tyler: "Surprise me."

"Listen you fuckers, you screwheads, here's a man who would not take it anymore, who would not let... Listen you fuckers you screwheads, here's a man who would not take it anymore, a man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is someone who stood up."

"Suck on this."

"What do you think your shit don't stink?"

"Shall we play a game?"

"How about a nice greasy pork sandwich served on a dirty ashtray."

"Why don't you shut up bitch."

"Anything bigger than a handful, you're risking a sprained thumb."

"You met me at a very strange time in my life."

"I can be a real serious bitch if I don't get what I want."

Gump: "Hello I'm Forrest, Forrest Gump." Guy: "Nobody gives a hunk of shit who you are puss bowl! You're not even a low-life scum-sucking maggot! Get your faggoty ass on the bus! You're in the Army now!"

"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends."

"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."

Joey: "Shut up, shut up... mind your fucking business and shut up." Salvy: "Your taking this all wrong Joey." Joey: "I said shut up."

"That's a sick question, your a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it. I'm not tellin' ya anything. I'm gonna leave. If Lenore calls, tell her I'm not staying in this nuthouse with you, your a sick bastard, I feel sorry for ya, I really do. You know what you should do, try a little more fucking an...

"Unfortunately, no one can be... told what the Matrix is... you have to see it for yourself."

"You hear that Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability. It is the sound... of your death."

"I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like this before."

"Welcome to Voiceprint Identification. When you see the red light go on, would you please state in the following order: your destination, your nationality, and your fully name; surname first, Christian name and initial."

Chef: How come all you guys site on your helmet?" Solder: "So we don't get out balls blown off."

"All right, so he got shot in the foot. What is it, a bit fucken' deal?"

Mom: "Why don't you get yourself a nice girl?" Tommy De Vito: "I get a nice one almost every night, Ma." Mom: "Yeah, but get yourself a girl so you could settle down!" Tommy De Vito: "I settle down almost every night but then in the morning I'm free! I love you, I wanna be with...I wanna be with you." Jimmy Conway: ...

"I thought he'd never shut the fuck up!"

"I'll probably shit blood tonight."

Dave Bowman: "What's going to happen?" Dr. Heywood Flod: "Something wonderful."

Mrs. Parker: "Oh, Randy, don't play with your food. Eat it!" Randy Parker: "Aw, gee." Mrs. Parker: "Starving people would be happy to have that."

"Yo, she-bitch! Let's go."

"Shop smart, shop S-Mart."

"Gimme some sugar, baby."

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning, you know one time we had a hill bomb, 12 hours. When it was all over I walked up, we didn't find one of them, not one stinking dink body. Smell, that gasoline smell? Smells like…Victory."

Craig: "Look, she's bending over." Pastor Clever: "Lord have mercy! The Lord is my Shepherd, know what I want."

"Damn! All you do is smoke weed."

Crush: "Sweet." Squirt: "Totally."

"Private Pyle, you had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up."

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Holy Jesus! What is that? What the fuck is that? WHAT IS THAT, PRIVATE PYLE?" Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "A jelly doughnut?" Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, yes sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "How did it get here?" Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, I too...

Chief:"How come all you guys sit on your helmet?" Soldier: "So we don't get our balls blown off."

"Where do they teach you to talk like this? In some Panama City sailor wana hump hump bar or is this getaway day, and your last shot at his whiskey. Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here."

"Step right up, folks. See if you can outdrive the amazing, golf ball...ah, wacker guy."

Gerry: "She was very popular back then, she had dozens of boyfriends." Cookie: "Hundreds!" Gerry: "Hundreds?" Cookie: "Yeah, hundreds." Gerry: "I did not know that."

Guy: "Yo Fletcher, how's it hanging?" Fletcher: "Short, shriveled and always to the left."

"So what I'm gonna do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe."

"See your future, be your future. May, make--make it. Make your future Danny..."

"Sometimes you have to lose yourself before you can find anything."

Harry: "So, you got fired again, huh?" Lloyd: "Oh, yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident. You know?"

"Something's wrong with you. Really."

So we're all dog-faces. We're all very very different. But there is one thing that we all have in common -we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army.

"The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all."

"Shire…Baggins"

"Saruman, your staff is broken."

"Run, Shadowfax. Show us the meaning of 'haste.'"

"Stupid fat hobbit!"

"Sneaky little hobittses!"

"Sir, one more outburst, I will strangle you with my microphone wire. You understand me?"

Woody: "They're gonna eat us, Buzz, do something quick!" Buzz: "Shield your eyes!"

Jake: "I want justice." Alonzo: "Is that not justice?" Jake: "Street justice." Alonzo: "What's wrong with street justice? Jake: Oh what? Just let the animals wipe themselves out." Alonzo: "God willing. Fuck em', and everybody who looks like em."

"Sorry folks, we're closed for two weeks to clean and repair America's favorite family fun park. Sorry... uhhuh, uhhuh, uhhuh."

"I had a spring runway show, like, a couple of weeks ago,

Conrad: "I had a spring runway show, like, a couple of weeks ago, and I did-- afterwards, I did a dinner party, and her and Spencer happened to be at the restaurant." Letterman: "Now, Spencer: what a weasel."

Letterman: "Did you see that Bill O'Reilly back there?" Conrad: "I did -- I was watching on my TV in my room." Letterman: "Did he-- did he bother you? Did he get near you?" Conrad: "Oh, no, I didn't see him; I was watching you interview--" Letterman: "Yeah. Stay away from him."

"We've also begun to see some stabilization in some of the credit portfolios."

"We've seen some signs of stability in the small business lending and the student loans."

"We'll have a lot more to say about the integration as we go forward. We're still evaluating our various plans in the coming weeks and months and we'll have more to say about that."

"There are some restrictions on dividends, which probably aren't too onerous."

"I feel like she is kind of my guardian angel, even though I never met her."

"Just similarities are so freaky."

"I don't know what's next. By the end of the week, he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in Kindergarten."

"We’ve seen over the last eight years how decisions by a president can have a profound effect on the course of history and on American lives; much that’s wrong with our country goes back even farther than that. We’ve been talking about the same problems for decades and nothing is ever done to solve them."

"We measure the strength of our economy not by the number of billionaires we have or the profits of the Fortune 500, but by whether someone with a good idea can take a risk and start a new business."

"My father…I only met him once for a month when I was 10. I probably was shaped more by his absence than his presence."

"I go, 'Alice, this guy's name! Look at this guy! This guy's name is Barack Obama.' And she thought that was the funniest thing she had ever heard. 'That's crazy!'"

"And then I told her that his middle name was Hussein and she was very concerned."

"I do believe that he’s been in the far left of American politics. He has stated time after time that he believes in quote, 'spreading the wealth around.' He’s talked about courts that would redistribute the wealth."

"That’s spreading the wealth in the respect that we do have a graduated income tax. That’s a far cry from taking from one group of Americans and giving to another. I mean, that’s dramatically different."

"I think once the markets knew that that was no longer a problem, not an overhang to AIG, I think it would have gone a long way to solving the problem."

"The counter parties, you know, can trade with each other and settle without the risk of failure in the system."

"I would certainly consider some opportunity to give back to the government and the country if that opportunity presented itself."

"She sent us through a drug store."

"She told me about her horse, I told her about my dogs."

"And clearly strength amongst them and it was something that they really believed in."

"No, I actually started out on the Disney Wonder Cruise ship."

"Sitting right here on this couch."

"He had the microphone somewhere entertaining or playing the piano or singing, doing something."

"The second half, we defended, and the first half we didn't."

"I'm glad they don't have some of the players you know that they normally would have."

"Sure, it's about winning and losing."

"She's my backbone."

"You're the strongest person I know."

Letterman: "In person -- I believe you actually say it on the show, that she's more striking in person, really." Baldwin: "Uh. Yeah. She's a gorgeous woman. She's a very beautiful woman." Letterman: "Yeah. Yeah." Baldwin: "Let's not fool ourselves about that."

"Slider, struck him out swinging! The Philadelphia Phillies have won the World Series!"

Now who's ass I gotta kick to get myself a beer.

Betsy: This is Betsy. Masked Avenger: Hello Betsy. Betsy: Hi. Masked Avenger: Hi, this is uh, Frank l'ouvrier [Frank the Worker], uh, I'm with, uh, President Sarkozy, on the line for, uh Governor Palin. Betsy: Yes, one second please. Can you hold on one second please? Masked Avenger: Yeah, no problem. Be...

Blue: Shun the non-believer. Pink: Shhhunnn. Blue: Shhhhhuunnnnnnn.

"If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards!!"

"And what busy hockey mom wouldn't want to freshen up her home with Sarah Palin's Ayers-Fresheners? You plug these into the wall when something doesn't quite smell right! Also, too, it's good because it reminds people of William Ayers."

"Stop, Dave......Will you stop, Dave?"

"I'm here this afternoon to announce that I will sign a resolution that the city council passed yesterday directing the city attorney to file a brief in support of gay marriage."

(Narrator): "I could feel the Christmas noose beginning to tighten. Maybe what happened next was inevitable." Ralphie's Mom: "Ralphie, what would you like for Christmas?" (Narrator): Horrified, I hurt myself blurt it out!" Ralphie: "I want an official Red Ryder Carbon Action 200 shot range model air rifle!" (Na...

"SIIIIILLLLLLLENCE!"

"No actually...I, ah, I have to save the world."

"Show me love!"

"No doubt, love, but as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection, while at the same time, experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence environment, I'll be sound as a pound!"

"I think you're shagadelic, baby! You're switched on, you're smashing!"

"You know, I have one simple request...and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads. Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Ah, can you please remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here...what do we have?"

"Not many people get a second chance, John Spartan."

"You are a savage creature, John Spartan. And I wish you to leave my domicile now!"

"Oh, I'm sooo scared!"

"Stupid!!"

"I keep seeing things jumping all over the place!"

"No, I mean it. You've got a nice place. It's not every man who can live off the land, you know? You do your own thing in your own time. You should be proud."

"Welcome to music town. May I service you?"

Elisabeth: "What do you think of the fact that Senator Obama wants to turn this into a Marxist nation?" Alec: "I'm sorry, what-- what's that?" Elisabeth: "No, he said so. Look, I found it online."

Berko: "I heard a story about you." Lucas: "Really, which one?" Berko: "I heard you stole $9000, went to Atlantic City and that there's a contract out on you."

"Damn the man save the Empire...."

Joe: "How old are you?" Warren: "Old enough to kick your butt through your skull and splatter your brains on the wall."

Gina: "Well Shanade O'rebellion. Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior." Debra:" That is so clever. I swear you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets."

Lucas: "Help you with anything?" Warren: "No. Lucas: You like music?" Warren: "Yeah." Lucas: "Me too. (whispers) The fat man walks alone." Warren: "What? What are you some kind of weirdo?" Lucas: "That's a big coat you're wearing, lot's of pocket room." Warren: "Yeah, see ya. Lucas: I'm sure I'll bump into y...

Drill Instructor: "I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your Senior Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to. And the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir." Do you maggots understand that?" Recruit: "Sir, yes sir!" Drill Instructor: "BULLSHIT! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! SOUND OFF L...

(To Joker) "You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!! "

"Elisabeth, you-- you remind me of my ex-wife, in the fact that you're so pretty, and yet, so wrong."

"Spock, this "child" is about to wipe out every living thing on earth. Now what do you suggest we do, spank it."

President: "The White House is the single greatest home court advantage in the modern world." Sydney: "I learned that one the hard way."

"If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards!!"

"See all the trouble you've started?!"

"My music!  They've started without me!"

"Wolfgang had actually summoned up his own father to accuse his son before all the world. It was terrifying and wonderful to watch."

Dr. Sobel: "Oh, now you're gonna tell me it was a suicide?" Paul Vitti: "I think he left a note. Jelly, did they find that note"? Jelly: "Ah, no, but they will in a minute." Dr. Sobel:" Oh let me guess what it says....'Life is bullshit...I can't fuckin' take it anymore.....signed, the dead guy.'" Jelly: "Hey, t...

Dr. Sobel: "You know, normally a patient wouldn't have a vat of scotch during a session." Paul Vitti: T"hat's an interesting fact. I'm gonna have to remember that one if I'm ever on Jeopardy."

"Alright, guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism."

"There's nothing quite like a shorn scrotum...It's breathtaking...I suggest you try it!"

McCall: "How do you want me to handle the Sydney issue?" President: "The Sydney issue?" Louis: "Well we should have a consensus on how the White House is going to handle it." President: "Well, I certainly hope that the Sydney issue refers to some way to some problem we're having with Australia, because if it's an...

Sydney: "Leo Solomon has some serious concerns about me exploring a social, you know, scenario with the President of the United States." President: "Well, when you put it that way, it doesn't sound that good to me either!"

"Take the sandals from your feet...for the place on which you stand is holy ground."

Bo Peep: "What do you say I get someone else to watch the sheep tonight?" Woody: "Ohhohohoho, yeah!"

"Okay! Save your batteries!"

"There's a snake in my boots!"

"I am the producer of this show! If I didn't step up, you're nowhere! I've put this thing together out of spit and polish!"

"You're stewwed, buttwad!"

"Anything bigger than a handful, you're risking a sprained thumb."

"Why don't you shutup, bitch!"

"You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll...chips, dips, chains, whips...You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing. I mean, uh, I'm not talking candlewax on the nipples, or witchcraft or anything like that, no, no, no. Just a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear acting like...

"Well see you all again…sleep tight."

Jerry: "Yeah, w-what can I do for you, Rod? You just tell me what I can do for you." Rod: "It's a very personal, very important thing. Hell…it's our family motto. Are you ready Jerry?" Jerry: "I'm ready." Rod: "Just want to make sure you're ready, brother. Cuz here it is..show me the money!"

Mr. Garrison: "How would you like to go see the school counselor?" Cartman: "How would YOU like to go suck my balls? (The whole class gasps) Mr. Garrison: "WHAT DID YOU SAY??" Cartman: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, actually, what I said was…(grabs a megaphone and talks out of it) HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GA...

Stan: "Hey Mole, you know where the clitoris is?" The Mole: "Ze what?" Stan: "The clitoris! I have to find the clitoris so I can get this Wendy girl to like me..!" The Mole: "HEY! You need to stop thinking with your dick! You have to be on your toes! Because I am NOT going to be grounded again! Not for you! Not for ...

"You know I don't do contracts. But what you do have is my word. And it's stronger than oak."

Rod: "A real man would't shoplift the pootie from a single mother." Jerry: "I didn't shoplift the pootie….alright, I shoplifted the pootie."

"This is some bullshit!"

Colonel Sandurz: "Are you alright sir?" Dark Helmet: "Fine. How have you been?" Colonel Sandurz: "Fine sir." Dark Helmet: "Good." Colonel Sandurz: "It's a good thing you were wearing that helmet." Dark Helmet: "Yeah…" Colonel Sandurz: "What should we do now sir?" Dark Helmet: "Well...are we stopped?" Colonel Sanders...

"I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes!"

"You have the ring. And I see your schwartz is as big as mine."

Kyle's Mom: "Al, tonight is a very special night! Do you know?" Big Gay Al: "Oooh! They're having a sale at Merv's?!"

"This ship will self destruct in 20 seconds. This is your last chance to push the cancellation button."

Phillip: "Say, Terrance! What did the Spanish priest say to the Uranian Gynecologist?" Terrance: "I don't know, Phillip! What?" (Phillip farts and they both laugh) Stan: "Where do they come up with this stuff?!"

"And may the schwartz be with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"

President Skroob, Dark Helmet & Colonel Sandurz:"Suck! Suck! Suck!"

"She's gone from suck to blow!"

"Shut off the power, Cartman! This is very importatn, Cartman!"

Satan: "Is sex the only thing that matters to you?" Saddam Hussein: "I love you!" Satan: "I want to believe that." Saddam Hussein: "So what do you say we shut off the light and get close, huh?"

Phillip: "Oh, you shitfaced cockmaster!" All the kids: "WOW!"

"See, now, we got to work on your people skills."