"Hey did somebody call Nick Burns the computer guy."

Worker: "Hey Nick, how's it going?" Nick Burns: "Oh really great, really great. I just love teaching people remedial computers here. Shouldn't you guys be wearing helmets or something?"

"Son of a…okay do you want me to save your game of mind sweeper here."

Worker: "I didn't know you couldn't have two screensavers." Nick Burns: "Obviously, that's why our system is corrupted here. Problem solved."

Alien: "What do you say to that brave earthling." Astronaut Jones: "Well why don't you drop out of that green jump suit and show me that fat ass."

Frank: "We call it speed dating. Our victim had 15 dates." Horatio: "Well you know what they say Frank, speed kills."

Woman: "You don't fall 3 stories, get up and run away." Horatio: "You do, if you got something to hide."

Frank: "Said she came down to drink Mohicans and catch some sun." Horatio: "Well looks like something caught her."

"I'm a type A personality. I just uh, I just can't envision myself you know the big straw hat, Hawaiian shirt sitting on some beach. Uh, so, ha, especially since I quit drinking."

Ah yeah, Susanne. I finally got your name right after how many years? 6 years? Reporter: 8 years Bush: 8 years? You used to be known as Susan now you’re Suz-ahn. Reporter: Suz-ahn, thank you. Bush: I’m Gahrge.

"Your strong He-Man. Here's something even stronger. A mystic cage even you can't break out of."

"So swears Skeletor."

"Time for me to do a little spying of my own as a Decepticon."

"Transformers, robots in disguise. Transformers, more than meets the eye. Transformers."

"Transformers, more than meets the eye."

Oh please, don’t try to be Senor Macho Solo – which is actually what we call a McRib sandwich.

"Fellow citizens for 8 years it has been my honor to serve as your President."

"The battles waged by our troops are part of a broader struggle between two dramatically different systems. Under one, a small band of fanatics demands total obedience to an oppressive ideology, condemns women to subservience, and marks unbelievers for murder."

"While our nation is safer than it was seven years ago, the gravest threat to our people remains another terrorist attack. Our enemies are patient and determined to strike again."

"Murdering the innocent to advance an ideology is wrong every time, everywhere. Freeing people from oppression and despair is eternally right. This nation must continue to speak out for justice and truth. We must always be willing to act in their defense and to advance the cause of peace."

"So long boys!"

Edward: "Say it out loud. Say it." Bella: "Say it."

Bella: "What is going on? Cop: "Security guard up in the mill got killed by some kind of animal." Bella: "An animal?"

"I'm strong enough to kill you."

"Security in Vegas is 10 times tougher."

"I spoke to the woman, she told me about this place for kids like this. It's very expensive and that's why we have to make a big score Janice."

This is a message for you from Sobe: They want your spirit to be high, your body to be fit, and your body to be ready. Right now, maybe you are thinking, "I'm a cool guy, but hey, don't go there!". Maybe if you drink a little Sobe Dragon you can think like that because with Sobe Dragon you feel cool and str...

This is a message for you from Sobe: they want your spirit to be high, your body to be fit, and your body to be ready. Right now, maybe you feel strong but you want to feel stronger. You want to be able to stop a train, maybe in case of emergency. If a pretty girl was tied to the railroad tracks and a tra...

This is a message for you from Sobe: they want your spirit to be high, your body to be fit, and your body to be ready. Right now, you are tired. There is almost no energy left in your body, just a little, little bit. But not enough. You feel like a snail. A small little lonely snail. It feels like you ...

This is a message for you from Sobe: they want your spirit to be high, your body to be fit, and your body to be ready. Right now, maybe your girlfriend ask you, "What happened to your love handles, darling?" Maybe she thought they were nice to have when it was cold outside, because she felt so warm and cuddly...

This is a message for you from Sobe: they want your spirit to be high, your body to be fit, and your body to be ready. Right now, maybe something inside your head is telling you "Go up to the mountain. Go up to the mountain." Maybe the voice is telling you that you should hop on your mountain bike so your legs...

This is a message for you from Sobe: they want your spirit to be high, your body to be fit, and your body to be ready. Right now, maybe you are writing a letter to tell an old girlfriend that you have been dieting, working out, and drinking Sobe Lean. Maybe you write that drinking Sobe Lean helps promote fat l...

My name is Freddy, I am the official spokeperson for Sobe. Everytime you hear me talk, Sobe wants you to know something. That is why I'm here. Maybe right now you are drinking Sobe Green Tea in the park. Suddenly you see a little Rabbit. Maybe you ask him, "Do you speak English?" (RABBIT VOICE) "Yes I ca...

This is a message for you from Sobe: they want your spirit to be high, your body to be fit, and your body to be ready. Right now, maybe there is a little cat in your living room and you want you to come to you. "Misha misha, little cat, come here, to daddy." But he is refusing to listen to you. Maybe you get...

"Shut your fraken mouth!"

"I think we should have that heart to heart you've been praying for. Sit down Cylon!"

"I'm gonna do my kind of dancing with a great partner, who's not only a terrific dancer... somebody who's taught me that there are people willing to stand up for other people no matter what it costs them... somebody who's taught me about the kind of person I wanna be."

"We recognize that such enormous challenges as the ones we face now will not be solved quickly. There will be false starts and setbacks, frustrations and disappointments. I will make some mistakes. We will be called to show patience even as we act with fierce urgency."

"We will carry with us the story of Mike and Cheryl Fisher. Mike is a longtime machinist whose workplace has faced the prospect of layoffs. Cheryl works as a nurse’s assistant, and waits for a grandchild who is on the way. Together, they seek only to live and work and retire in the same Indiana hometown where they r...

"For while we come from different places, as Americans we share a common story. That story began over two centuries ago in Philadelphia, where we started today’s journey, and where are forefathers declared the birth of our nation and the creation of our Constitution."

"That is the reason I launched my campaign for the presidency nearly two years ago. I did so in the belief that the most fundamental American ideal, that a better life is in store for all those willing to work for it, was slipping out of reach."

"And lets make every kid feel like a superstar."

"That's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff."

Why so Serious

"So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans."

"Less measurable, but no less profound, is a sapping of confidence across our land -- a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, that the next generation must lower its sights."

"They will be met easily or in a short span of time."

"The time has come to set aside childish things."

"Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less."

"But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed."

"And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account -- to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day -- because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government."

"And because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass."

"We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall so...

"To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West -- know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy."

"So stick to commentating and let me do the fighting."

"There is no way, as long as I'm in charge of the Vancouver Canucks, there's no way we're gonna vote for that. To me, it'd be the same thing if the National Football League decided it's games by having guys throw footballs through a tire."

"They're gonna be fine. I'm sick of answering questions about them. I'm sick of the media picking on them."

"Scratch my back with a hacksaw!"

"The snow was stained with blood."

"No triumph tainted by brutality could ever match the sweet victory of this hour and what it means to those who marched and died to make it a reality."

"And we know today that Dr. King and a great cloud of witnesses are shouting in heaven."

"Help us to share, to serve and to seek the common good of all."

"And may we never forget that one day all nations and all people will stand accountable before you."

"With your hands of power and your heart of love, help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nations shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors."

"Say amen. And amen."

Little John: "You'll sweat the lard out of that fat carcass of yours before this day is over my pudgy friend." Friar Tuck: "And I hope some Norman sword whittles you down to size."

Much the Miller's son and Bess talking about sweethearts

Billy Bones: "Now isn't that a story one to hearing!" Pig: "It was the first dozen times we heard it!"

Bowman: "Just pretend I'm your sister." Gallagher: "I have two sisters... they don't look like you."

"A billion taxpayer dollars on this mission and your using the lab equipment as a still?"

"No more multiple choice questions about self-esteem."

"Soldier! Why are we sitting here! Why are we sitting here!!"

Ahmed: "I am not a warrior!" Herger: "Soon, you will be."

Herger: "You'll need this." Ahmed: "I cannot lift this!" Herger: "Grow stronger!"

"Across of seas of monsters and forest of demons we traveled... praise be to Allah, the merciful and compassionate. May His blessing be on upon pagan men who loved other gods. Who shared their food... and shed their blood... that His servant, Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan, might become a man.... and a useful servant of God."

This is the funeral poem near the end of the movie

Catherine: "Thank you for the horse." Edward: "You liked him?" Catherine: "Oh it was beautiful. But I thought we were going sailing today.... You promised."

"If we can't stop him, he ain't gonna stop himself."

Peter Novak: "I believe a child can experience a hundred times worse the abuse then what Gish went through. And still grow up to be somebody that would never, ever, ever hurt another living being." Catherine: "And your sure of that?" Peter Novak: "Yes I am..... I'm sure of that."

"You not trouble, me fifth element....supreme being. Me, protect you.. hmmm? Sleep."

"Why don't you sample this instead?!"

"Ok you have some skill."

Nick: "Hey how did you people happen to pop in here?" Gill: "We hear this is getting to be a sort of meeting place for the Wynant family, so we figured we'd stick around in case the old boy himself should show up. Then we see this bird sneak in we decide to come up. And lucky for you we did!" Nick: "Yes, I might n...

"Now don't make a move or that dog will tear you to shreds."

Nora: "You asleep?" Nick: "Yes!" Nora: "Good... I want to talk to you."

Guy: "Say I'm getting out of here." Nick: "No you stay here." Guy: "If I stay I know I'll take a poke at him." Nick: "Then I insist that you stay."

Troy: "Are we shooting?!" Soldier: "What?!" Troy: "Are we shooting people or what?!" Soldier: "Are we shooting?!" Troy: "That's what I'm asking you!"

Archie: "I'm talking about millions in Kuwati Bullion." Conrad: "You mean them little cubes you put into hot water to make soup?" Archie: "No, not the little cubes you put into hot water to make soup."

"We three kings be stealing the gold."

"You're under arrest and your gonna be court marshaled. Your gonna show us where the bullion is right now."

"To protect the sheep, you gotta catch the wolf. And it takes a wolf to catch a wolf, you understand?"

"I'll smoke it man, give it to me... you want me to smoke it I'll smoke it."

Biggs: "Alright so what do you want us to do? Ya know we're exhausted. We haven't slept for two days!" Gerard: "Stay on the trail, you can sleep next month."

Gerard: "Looks like mister slice and dice and our mystery man have a bag exchange here." Cosmo:" But what do you think is in the bag? I bet it's not his dirty laundry."

Sheridan: "You know, for what its worth, I'm sorry that I shot you." Gerard: "Oh that's ok."

Maximus:"Strength and honor." Quintis:"Strength and honor" General:"Strength and honor."

"You there! Stand fast!"

"This is one safe looking new vehicle you got yourself here Tim."

"Hey nice clothes gentlemen. I didn't know the Salvation Army was having a sale?"

"That's the shortest red light I've ever seen!"

"Hey look, scum angel!"

Gill:"From this moment on you will now be known as Shark Bait." Fish:"Shark Bait! Hoo ha ha!" Gill:"Welcome, Brother Shark Bait!" Fish:"Shark Bait! Hoo ha ha!" Gill:"Enough with the Shark Bait." Gurgle:"Shark Bait! Hoo... bop pa doo."

Crush:"Get Ready! Your exit's coming up, man!" Marlin:"Where? I don't see it." Dory:"Right there! I see it! I see it!" Marlin:"You mean the swirling vortex of terror?!" Crush:"That's it, dude." Marlin:"Of course it is."

Marlin:"Dory, do you see anything?" Dory:"Ahh! Something's got me!" Marlin:"That was me, I'm sorry." Dory:"Whose that?!" Marlin:"Whose that? Who could it be?! It's me!" Dory:"Are... are you my conscience?"

"Somethings wrong with you... really."

"Smile for me now brother."

"You simply won't die!"

Proximo:"Do any of them fight? I got a match coming up." Slave Trader:"Some are good for fighting, others for dying. You need both I think."

"Oh oh, her's schizo's about to frania."

Solider: "Get away from there! You don't have permission to be aboard there mate!" Sparrow:"I'm sorry its just such a pretty boat... ship."

Sparrow:"Mr Cotton! Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death? Mr Cotton! Answer man!" Sailor:"He's a mute sir... poor devil had his tongue cut out. So he trained the parrot to talk for him. No ones yet figured how." Sparrow: "Mr. Cotton's par...

"Give us a hug Shrek! You old love machine! And look at you Mrs. Shrek! How about a side of sugar for the steed!"

"See you're allergic to that stuff. You're gonna have a reaction! And if you think I'm gonna be smearing vaporrub all over your chest, think again!"

Puss:"Warning... side effects may include burning, itching, oozing, weeping. Not intended for heart patients or those with nervous disorders." Donkey:"Trotting trotting trotting in place! Yeah!.... what?"

"Stop your fussing right this moment."

Ivy:"Why can you not say what is in your head?" Lucius:"Why can you not stop saying what is in yours?"

"She's not going to squeeze my shirt like that is she?"

Bill:"Your not Death, your just a kid in a suit." Joe:"The suit came with the body."

"When I introduce you... if I say who you are. I don't think anyone will stay for dinner."

"Well.... it just suddenly hit me... you know... stampede."

"Could you shut up!"

"There's something so indescribably sexy about you standing in a middle of a crowd."

"It's just life Quincy... wake up, smell the thorns."

Augustus:"I'm Augustus Gloop! I love your chocolate!" Wonka:"I can see that. So do I. I never expected to have so much in common."

"Little girl! Don't touch that squirrels nuts!"

Edgar:"Oh, dear. How clumsy of me. Pick it up. Very good. Now touch your toes." Ella:"Oh, no." Edgar:"Oh, yes. And while you're about it, why don't you pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time? Now jump up and down." Ella:"Please stop." Edgar:"Wait. Perhaps you know this one.. Put your left foot in, put...

Tour Guide:"Next we move in to the castle lobby." Girl:"I can't believe it! Prince Char walked on this actual floor!" Tour Guide:"Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! Stop tonguing the foyer!"

Hattie:"Ella!! Stop kissing him! You are never to kiss him again!" Ella:"You wanna bet?"

Brumhilda:"I love singers." Slannen the Elf:"Really? Uh because you know being an elf, I love to sing. You know, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you're much prettier than I would've expected." Brumhilda:"Oh I know. Giants are supposed to be big, ugly and mean. It's because of stories like 'Jack and the B...

Hattie:"Show us where Char showers." Olive:"I bet he showers... naked!!"

"No man controls my destiny... especially not one who attacks downwind and stinks of garlic."

Robin Hood:"You travel 10,000 miles to save my life and leave me to be butchered?!" Azeem:"I fulfill my vows when I choose." Robin Hood:"Which does not include prayer times, or meal times, or anytime I'm outnumbered six to one!?" Azeem:"You whine like a mule! You are still alive..."

"I'm sure you shall find it much more difficult to sing with a sword in your gullett."

"Shalom."

Ed: "Can this thing go any faster?" Bear: "Uh I'm doing 30. Hey you wanna slow down there buddy! A lot of traffic tonight sir, safety first!"

Lenny: "Frankie! You know I can't do this!" Frankie: "Lenny, if you want to make Pop happy, you gotta kill something." Lenny: "Or I could find a very old sick fish and just wait."

"Sykes Whale Wash, whale of a wash, and the price..oh my gosh."

Kate:"It's very romantic though..." Roland:"Are you a woman or a blacksmith?" Kate:"Sometimes I'm both..."

Will:"She makes me feel like a poet." Roland:"Well, you may feel like a poet, but you sound like an idiot."

Jericho:"Was he working for someone?" Priest:"Yes, he was working for God." Jericho:"So God ordered a hit on an investment banker?" Priest:"There's an awful lot you don't know."

Confederate Soldier:"See you in hell billy yank." Lt.Chamberlain:"See you in hell johnny reb."

Bob:"Am I in heaven?"Guy:"Smells like... Wisconsin."

Corporal:"Heave! Put a bit more weight on that rope you men!" Williams:"He even got a voice like a corporal." Hitch:"Yeah... sort of like a female hippo in labor."

"Sorry y'all! It was an accident…Sorry."

"Come on hobbits! Long ways to go yet! Smeagol will show you the way. Follow me. "

Nelson:"I stayed on this boat after... well lets see, your mother. Laurette the ballet dancer." Joe:"My Nanny!" Nelson:"She was the nanny?" Joe:"Yeah..." Nelson:"I forgot that. How ironic... Then there was the ice skater." Joe:"Also my nanny..." Nelson:"Really? That's amazingly ironic... Then there was Cybil...the.....

Joe:"So what's his handle?" Kathleen:"Uh..." Joe:"I'm not going to write him, is that what you're worried about? You think I'm going to e-mail him?" Kathleen:"Alright... NY152." Joe:"N-Y-one-five-two... One hundred and fifty-two... He's... 152 years old. He's had 152 moles removed, so now he's got 152 pock marks on ...

"You had to come early, now she's gone and I'm stuck here on this island here with you."

Ben: "That's not our agreement. You need to stay here until your work is finished." Juliet: "It's impossible, the mothers keep dying."

Jack: "Do you do this back home too? Steal from the dead?" Sawyer: "You're just not looking at the big picture Doc. Steal back to civilization."

Kate: "I want to tell you what I did." Jack: "I don't want to know. It doesn't matter Kate, we should all be able to start over."

Recruiter: "The place we're taking you to is special." Juliet: "Special huh." Recruiter: "You'll see things there that you never imagined."

"I don't even know your name. I want it to stay that way."

"Well good luck brother. See you in another life."

Desmond: "Are you sure about this brother?" Jack: "Are you sure." Desmond: "As long as I got Penny I'll be fine." Jack: "Then I'll see you in another life brother." Desmond: "Aye."

Kate: "What are you doing?" Sawyer: "Same thing I've always done Kate, surviving."

"Hey Sayid, we need to get these people off this island. I can start faring people now."

"We're looking for someone to remind us that we're here for more important reasons. Now Bend doesn't want anyone to think you're special John."

Anthony: "She thinks I'm a failure." Dignan: "What? She said you're a failure? What has she ever accomplished with her life that's so great man? Nothing, nothing. Wait, you don't have to do anything man!"

"Stop playing with yourself."

Jerry: "I've noticed you've stopped stuttering." Bodie: "I've been giving myself shock treatments." Jerry: "Up the voltage."

"Sow some wild oats Ben."

"Hey look you, just shut your pie-hole and keep working!"

"Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here."

"People that talk in metaphors ought to shampoo my crotch."

"Shall we shag now or shall we shag later?"

"You know, I have one simple request and that is to have sharks with freakin' laser beams attached to their heads!"

Scott: "It's no hassle.." Dr. Evil: "Shh!" Scott: "But.." Dr. Evil: "Shh!" Scott: "Um.." Dr. Evil: "Shh!" Scott: "All I'm sayin.." Dr. Evil: "Shh!" Scott: "They're gonna get awa.." Dr. Evil: "Shh!" Scott: "I.." Dr. Evil: "Shh!" Scott: "I'm just.." Dr. Evil: "Shh!" Scott: "We.." Dr. Evil: "Shh!" Scot...

(Long fart) Sorry, I farted.

Buscemi: "Suddenly they got very interested in who you were. So I laid the story down nice and thick." El Mariachi: "How thick?" Buscemi: "Well, pretty thick. Told them you were the biggest Mexican I've ever seen."

"Sorry Hans, I didn't get that message."

"Stick your cock up her ass, you motherfucking worthless cocksucker!"

"Son, we live in a world that has walls and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You!?"

"Do me a fucking favor: Shut up, listen, and learn."

VINCE Hi it's Vince with ShamWow. You'll be saying "wow" every time you use this towel. It's like a chamois, it's like a towel, it's like a sponge. A regular towel doesn't work wet. This works wet or dry. This is for the house, the car, the boat, the RV. ShamWow holds 20x its weight in liquid. Look at thi...

Hi it's Vince with SlapChop. You're going to be in a great mood all day because you're going to be slapping your troubles away Now look, here's a potato. Once slap: you've got big chuncks for stews; Two slaps: home fries in a second. And look at this, if you add a mushroom the more you do it the finer it gets...

"It took him like 20 years to find this place the first time. I'll start holding my breath now."

Sun: "Open this door!" Charles Widmore: "Save your breath. They only do what I tell them to do."

"Hello, I'm Dr. Marvin Candle and this is Orientation film for Station 2, the Arrow."

Ginger: "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Sawyer: "Shut it Ginger or you're getting one too."

Sawyer: "What if the Helicopter hasn't even taken off yet." Juliet: "We could warn them, stop them from ever flying to that boat."

"Say bye bye baby."

VINCE: Hola, soy Vince con ShamWow--Estaras diciendo WOW cada vez que usas... esta toalla. En trabajo seca, El ShamWOW trabajo mojado o seco. Para la casa, o auto, barco, y RV. ShamWow detiene 20 veces su peso en liquido. Levantela, no gotea, no ensucia, puedes expremir la toalla. La lavas en la lavadora. ...