"When you're addressed in this court you will RISE and speak to me in a clear, intelligible voice."
William:"There are seven deadly sins, captain: gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, pride, lust, and envy."
Tony Giardino: "What about Pam? Charlie Mackenzie:"She smelled like soup."
"I like this one, Charlie. She's quite a filly."
"Oh, ho, yes, yes! I'm insensitive! I'm a very insensitive man! Stop your jobs! Look at the insensitive man! That's what they're paying you for!"
"You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it's called fukkyew!"
Dark Helmet: "How many assholes we got on this ship anyhow?"Crew: "YO!" Dark Helmet: "I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes! Keep firing assholes!"
Charlie: "Maybe it is late. You know, I'll be honest with you. I had a really great time tonight, and uh, I'd really love to kiss you, but I think that if I kiss you, we'll end up kissing on the couch, and if we end up kissing on the couch, then chances are we'll kiss in the bedroom, then if we kiss in the bedroom, ...
Barbara: "We've been sleeping together for a year." Sen. Kevin Keeley: "Oh God!"
Hitchhiker:"You heard of this thing the 8-minute abs?"Ted: "Yes, 8 minute ads, sure, the exercise video."Hitchhiker: "Well this is going to BLOW that right outta the water, listen to this. SEVEN minute abs."
"I'm only waiting seven minutes, total."
"Man, your car seats are making me itchy man. What are these made out of, cactus?"
"I couldn't believe it, she knew my name! Some of my best friends didnt know my name."
"Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date."
"You know what I said about seeing a light when you die? That ain't true. I can't see a damn thing."
"Somebody get this spic on his knees."
"Sissyboy should've stuck around."
"Smells like someone died."
"The H and R Block second look review."
"See you in 38 days."
"Monster.com and the NFL are searching for a fan among fans to become a part of NFL history."
"That was a real super, Super Bowl."
"But it's the Steelers night."
"And it was really something to marvel at."
"Last night I just spent time with my kids."
"You know our defense stepped up when they needed to."
Sure you can have my number baby.
Sean Paul: I just heard a little vibe…” Girl: “I can’t believe you’re calling me right now.” Sean Paul: “I heard that you were at the show…” Girl: “Listen…” Sean Paul: “I just saw a picture of you.” Girl: “What are you doing tonight?” Sean Paul: “You got a cute ass face mamma.” Girl: “Thanks. Are you here for Fashio...
Christian Bale: What is he doing there? Samuel L. Jackson: Oh I'm sorry did I break your concentration? Christian Bale: What the fuck is it with you? What don't you fucking understand? You got any fucking idea about 'Hey, it's fucking distracting having somebody walking up behind Brice in the middle of the fucking...
"It felt like the airplane being pelted by heavy rain or hail. It sounded like the worst thunderstorm I ever heard growing up in Texas. It was shocking."
"But I tell you that woman he had singing for him singing my song, she's gonna get your ass whooped."
Wah wah wah wahhhhhhhh.
Girls: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Now I sung my ABCs. Won't you come and boogie with me? Grover: Well are you ready for the king, girls? Here we go. Girls: ABCDEFG. Let's go! HIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. ABCDEFG. Let's go! HIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Now I sung my ABCs. Won't you come and boogie with m...
"If you watched Alex Flannagan side line reporting for the Arizona Cardinals during Super Bowl 43 and thought to yourself shit a robot could do than her you are probably right.
"Wow the robot actually showed more inflection in it's voice on that one."
Announcer: Let's do a side by side comparison. Here's Alex and the robot." Alex and Robot: "10 years ago Warner went from grocery store bagger to Super Bowl MVP in act 1."
"Dear Lord, they sound about the same."
"We keep you alive to serve this ship. So row well…and live."
"Damn! She's gonna think I got that premature evacuation!"
"I'm gonna do my kind of dancin' with a great partner, who's not only a terrific dancer - somebody who's taught me that there are people willing to stand up for other people no matter what it costs them - somebody who's taught me about the kind of person I wanna be."
"Son of a bitch, ball."
"Oh no, no, no, no, stop it."
"Sometimes, I can't tell at all what's going on in that head of yours."
"See, now, we got to work on your people skills."
"Son, you got a panty on your head."
"He made a mistake, and he's sorry. So there's not going to be anymore trouble."
"If I were just sitting down watching TV and not being as determined as I am to succeed and provide a better future for my children, I would believe that would be considered to a certain degree selfish."
"I'll stop my life for them and be present with them."
Steve: "I'm Steve." Colbert: "Well Steve first of all that's a stupid name."
Jimmy: "Something wrong Stephen?" Colbert: "Yeah something's wrong."
"Hey how's your news? Would you like to sing our tune."
Jeremy: "You mind saying the world again? That was funny." Salt: "The whole world."
Jeremy: "People think there are no…in here." Man: "There are but we scared them all away."
"Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets."
And they are all so deeply unattractive. Is it impossible to find a lovely, slender female paratrooper?
Searing hot. And I mean hot.
Who is that sad little person?
Miranda: "Emily?" Nigel: "She means you."
Okay… Can you please spell "Gabbana?"
"I had sexy time with my mother-in-law."
"Congratulations. I shall sacrifice 100 bulls to honor your triumph."
"But these Senators, they scheme and squabble and flatter and deceive. Maximus, we must save Rome from the politicians my friend."
"So much for the glory of Rome"
"Still afraid of the dark, brother?"
Gordon Gecko:"You want another chance?", Bud Fox:"Fucking A!", Gordon Gecko:"Then you stop sending me information and you start getting me some."
Bud Fox:"Lou, I've got a sure thing - Anacott Steel.", Lou Mannheim:"No such thing except death and taxes - not a good company anymore, no fundamentals."
Bud Fox:"She asked the wrong question." Roger: "What was that?" Bud Fox: "What are you thinking."
"Don't forget to send me a copy."
"I wouldn't kill a helpless human being - not even sadistic scum like you."
"What's the matter? Steroids make you deaf?"
"I was assigned by division remember? Someone over there thinks I'm a pretty good lawyer. So, while I appreciate your interest and admire your enthusiasm - I think I can handle things myself."
"I'm sorry, I keep forgetting, you were sick the day they taught law at law school."
"Sweet dreams son."
Lightning: "Racecars don't need headlights, because the track is always lit." Dusty Rust-eze: "Yeah, well, so is my brother, but he still needs headlights."
"Oh, life could be a dream …"
Doc: "Float like a Cadillac..." Lightning: "Sting like a Beemer!"
Randall: "You going to do anything crazy before you leave New Jersey forever?" Dante: "How long have you known me?" Randall: "If I were you I'd spray paint eat pussy across the side of the building in huge letters." Dante: "Why?" Randall: "Let them know you were there, man." Dante: "I'd rather let them know I wasn't...
Elias: "Do they show pictures?" Elias: "Only one of Kinky Kelly sucking off Optimus Prime." Elias: "Really?"
"What's the big deal? Since when is it a crime to say porch monkeys?"
Randal: "When I was a kid, she'd always tell me to treat the Jewish kids well or they'd put the sheeny curse on me." Dante Hicks: "WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?" Randal Graves: "What?" Dante Hicks: "Sheeny is a racial slur, too!" Randal Graves: "No it is not." Dante Hicks: "Yes, it is!"
"What up, steel cage match!"
"Sometimes in this world, you see things, you don't want to see."
Baby: "What's wrong? What's a matter with her?" Billy: "She's knocked up, Baby."
"Look, spaghetti arms. This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine. You gotta hold the frame."
"Oh, yes, as a matter of fact it is. We're supposed to do the show in two days, you won't show me the lift, I'm not sure of the turns I'm doing all this to save your ass when what I really want to do is drop you on it."
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: "Ah geeze Barry! I don't know what I'd do if someone shoved a paddle-handle up my ass! Barry Badrinath:" It wasn't the handle! I've been shitting pancakes ever since!"
"Typical Americans, this is why we don't allow you in our beerfest. You get a couple of drinks in you and you becomes the Dirty Harry. You should go back to your street mall and drink your Zimas and Smirnoff Ices and go around and punch yourselves silly."
"Where are we going Mr.Spickle Spackle."
"Oh hey Jerry, while I got you here, you forgot my Sunday supplement last week."
"We'll start the ass-kissing with you."
Rocco: "Anybody *you* think is evil?" Connor:" Aye." Rocco: "Don't you think that's a little weird, a little psycho?" Connor: "You know what I think is psycho, Roc? It's decent men with loving families. They come home every day after work and they turn on the news. You know what they see? They see rapists, and murde...
"Well you know, some folks got to learn the hard way!"
"Stay loose, baby."
"Why don't stop playing with yourself, Willie?"
"Just say what you got, man."
Joe: "Look, if you guys are taking me back to that jail, just go ahead and shoot me, 'cause there's no way that-- (Cop shoots him with pepper spray) Ow! Fuck! Ow! Ah! Ow!" Cop at Costco: "What? (Pepper sprays him again)" Joe: "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" Cop at Costco: "What? (Pepper sprays him again)" Joe: "Ow! God! Hey, stop!"
Joe: "Listen, I told these people that you were smart, okay? So act smart!" Frito: "Smart like you? (In an effeminate voice) 'Oh, I gotta go to the time machine. I wanna go home.'" Joe: "I don't talk like that." Frito: "'I don't talk like that'" Secret Service Thug: "Shit, I thought there was two of you." Frito: "See."
"You know, there was a time in this country when smart people were considered cool. Well, maybe not cool, but smart people did things like build ships and pyramids and they even went to the moon."
"Oh Christ you dog-eared one of them. Show a little respect for the author."
"Jamal. What you write in this apartment stays in this apartment.No exceptions."
Forrester: "I have an homeland that I have not seen for too long." Jamal: "Oh, you mean Ireland?" Forrester: "Scotland, for God's sakes!" Jamal: "I'm messing with you, man."
"Jesus Marimba, a lovely beast like that runnin around can put steam in a man's strides."
"Shall we dance? Ha ha ha."
"Is snakes out there this big?"
Terri Flores: "Snakes don't eat people." Paul Sarone: "Oh they don't?"
Man: "You will have a visit from some of my friends very soon." Philo: "Will they be driving Cadillac's too?" Man: "Yes, long and black!" Philo: "Clyde - scrap the caddy."
"Shall we shag now or shag later? How do you like to do it? Do you like to wash up first? You know, top & tails, whore's bar. Personally before I am on the job I like to give my undercarriage a little 'How's your father?' "
"I shagged her rotten baby, yea."
Andrew: "Would you perform an experiment just for the sake of science? Little Miss/Portia: "All right." Andrew ... "Kiss me."
"I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."
"Hey, honey I understand you're upset. Hey, maybe you'd feel better after we have some dirty sex!"
Maggie: "I should have gone into pediatrics." Anne: "Oh no, every guy you meet is either married or a gyno. Never date a man, who knows more about your vagina than you do."
"Okay. No problem there, dude. Now you go back to doing something latently homo-erotic, alright?"
"There's the Saigon whore that bit my nose off!"
Saigon Whore: "When I say let's go, you go!" Jimmy: "Yeah?! Time you shut your cake hole, Yoko!"
Dodge: “Leave Graham squealin' from the feelin'!” Jackson: “Squeakin' from the freakin'!” Buckman: “Oinkin' from the boinkin'!”
Jonathan: "She's alive?" Dr. Abraham Van Helsing: "She's nosferatu." Jonathan: "She's Italian?"
Character 1: "She will become one herself." Character 2: "What?" Character 1: "She will become one herself."
"Did I startle you?"
"We set sail to Cutthroad Island."
Gina: "Well, Sinead O' Rebellion. Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior." Debra: "That is so clever. I swear to God, you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets."
"Damn the man! Save the Empire!"
"Alright! Enough of this bullshit! Right now, you either shoot me or you tell me what the fuck is going on!"
Brill: "You have something they want!" Robert Dean: "I don't have anything!" Brill: "Maybe you do and you don't know it. You stay away from Rachel and you stay away from me. You come near either one of us and I'm gonna kill you."
Character 1: "How did you happen to be at Ruby's today?" Robert Dean: "I was shopping for some lingerie. That's still legal isn't it?" Character 1: "You buying that for your wife?" Robert Dean: "No, I was out picking something up for myself. I do a little cross-dressing on the weekends. You know you'd be surprised h...
"Seize the day."
Danielle: "It's not fair, sire. You have found my weakness, but I have yet to learn yours." Prince Henry: "Well, I should think it's quite obvious."
“Oh, what a strange little bug!”
Franklin: "Just what the hell did you do to those sharks?" Dr. Susan McCallister:"Their brains weren't large enough to harvest sufficient amounts of the protein complex. So we violated the Harvard Compact. Jim and I used gene therapies to increase their brain mass. A larger brain means more protein. As a side-effect...
Sword being drawn sound effect.
Manco: "How could somebody in my business go around with a contraption like this?" Mortimer: "That contraption, almost sent you to your grave." Manco: "You're forgetting one thing Colonel, I was shooting at your hat." Mortimer: "Well I was only shooting at yours." Manco: "But I recall firing first."
"Damn! All you do is smoke weed!"
"You say this was indo? Smell like outdo."
Smokey tries to relieve himself in the bushes.
"Drinking that wine, smoking them tweeds, wearing those clothes half way off your ass."
"I never expected you to do so damn well!"
"Suck my dick!"
“Let's all square dance! Places all! Bow to your corner, bow to your own!” (Hillbilly Hare)
“Aww, nope, nope. Aw gosh, don't wanna, no, no, shucks no! Uh, don't wanna do it.”
“The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plummer may seek warmer climates in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land!”
Dennis: (explaining his group's system of government, frequently interrupted by Arthur)
Dennis: “You can't expect to wield supreme executive power, just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!” Arthur: “Shut up!”
Mrs. Kramer: "Now, before we check out, do you want me to steal all of the little shampoos and conditioners?" Pres. Kramer: "Come on, now....Please! I already got 'em."
"When Claire was excited to see me she'd pee on my leg."
Wes Luger: "You two we're living together?" Jack Colt: "Hell, she used to sleep at my feet and lick my toes. Though, sometimes she'd forget about me and lick herself for hours."
"Excuse me. I have to go. Somewhere there is a crime happening."
“Snakes don't walk, they slither. Hmph, so there!”
TV Guy: "Robo! Excuse me, Robo? Any special message for all the kids watching at home?" Robocop: "Stay out of trouble."
Lt Col Anderson: "It's a tough assignment that's why you got it" Captain John H. Miller: "Yes sir." Anderson: "John, I got another one." Captain Miller: "Yes Sir." Anderson: "This one's straight from the top."
Captain Miller:" Well we could try a sticky bomb" Character 1: "Sticky bomb sir?" Character 2: "Sir, are you making that up?" Captain Miller: "No it's in the field manual you can check it out if you want to." Character 1:"We seem to be out of field manuals sir, perhaps you could enlighten us."
"You got something to say about the mobile infantry?"
"No no no, No questions please. We just want to go back to our hotel room and have some really serious sex."
Harry: "Well, we're not just gonna let you walk out of here?" Robber: "Who's we sucker?" Harry: "Smith and Wesson and me."
"What's the point? They (scary movies) are all the same."
"This is all fascinating, Taylor, but ah, could you maybe skip to the part where you decided to screw me over?"
“Oh, I am sick of wearing the dress in this family!”
Newton: “Holy shit!” Number 5: “No shit! Where see shit?”
Satan: "Is sex the only thing that matters to you?" Saddam Hussein: "I love you!" Satan: "I want to believe that." Saddam Hussein: "So what do you say we shut off that light and get close, huh?"
"Shut off the power, Cartman! This is very important, Cartman!"
Philip: "Oh, you shitfaced cockmaster!" All the kids: "WOW!"
Stan: "Hey Mole, you know where the clitoris is?" The Mole: "Zee what?" Stan: "The clitoris! I have to find the clitoris so I can get this Wendy girl to like me!" The Mole: "HEY! You need to stop thinking with your dick! You have to be on your toes! Because I am NOT going to be grounded again! Not for you! Not for A...
"Can you set up the clip for us Joaquin.”
"And Joaquin, I’m sorry you couldn’t be here tonight.”
Tracy: That's how you get to Manhattan's fanciest restaurant. Dot Com: Ah misure Parcell, votre table e pret. Blind girl: I didn't know it was a French restaurant. Tracy: Yes, I found it on my favorite website - stop showing off dot com.
That you're the sweetest prettiest blindest girl I've ever met. And when I'm with you my heart jumps like a frog on July asphalt right before it dies.
Saturday is Valentine's Day? Nords!
"She has got to be a role model. We never had a black woman in this position before and she's a mom, she's a wife and she's going to be a role model to millions of people."
"Becau…just slow down, slow down, slow down."
The Slam Dunk contest is about to begin.
"How about a prop Dwight Howard heading in the phone booth and you know what's coming after that of course it's the Superman cape. And Dwight going up to 11 ft. catching the ali oop and throwing it down."
Keenan: "Some girls like men to say things like that to them." Joan: "Some girls like men to take a dump on them."
Capt. McKay: "That's it Callahan, you just got yourself a 60 day suspension." Harry: "Make it 90!" McKay: "180! Give me your star!" Harry: "Here's a seven point suppository Captain." McKay: "What did you say?" Harry: "I said stick it in your ass!"
"I see you shiver with antici ... ... pation."
"We must put a stop to these afternoon football games."