"We must put a stop to these afternoon football games."

“Yes, Satan?”

Alan : "Stop fucking Bob's wife. He doesn't like it." Steve Everett: "What did he do, put it in the company newspaper?" Alan Mann: "Listen, if he comes to me and he wants your ass, I'm gonna have to give it to him. Then you'll just be a hole with no ass around it."

“The United States government just asked us to save the world. Anybody wanna say no?”

“You stick that in me I'm gonna stab you in the heart with it. You ever see Pulp Fiction?”

Oscar: “If you had to say, who would you say?” A.J.: “I don't know, Oscar, who do you think you are?” Oscar: “Han Solo.” A.J.: “No. If anybody's anybody, I'm Han. And you're, you're Chewbacca.” Oscar: “Chewie? Have you even seen Star Wars?”

Oscar: “What's it gonna be like up there?” Truman: “Two hundred degrees in the sunlight, minus two hundred in the shade. Canyons of razor-sharp rock. Unpredictable gravitational conditions. Unexpected eruptions, things like that.” Oscar: “Ok, so the scariest environment imaginable. Thanks, that's all you gotta say...

“I'm gonna give you three seconds to shut this bomb down, then I'm gonna make you shoot me.”

General Grey: “It's what?” Tech: “It's uh... slowing down, Sir.”

“My Social Security will expire, you'll still be sitting there!”

“When they took you up in their spaceship, did they do any, you know, sexual things to you?”

Marty: “David, talk to me!” David: “Didn't you hear me tell you that the signal hidden in the satellite feed is slowly recycling down to extinction?” Marty: “Not really.” David: “Countdown!”

“Everyone in the world is trying to get out of Washington, we're the only schmucks trying to get in!”

“It's Air Force One, for cryin' out loud, still he gets sick!”

David: “I took a hit.” Hiller: “We're not hit! We're not hit! Stop side-seat driving!”

“I'm surrounded by idiots!”

“Slimy, yet satisfying!”

Timon: “What's goin' on?” Pumbaa: “She's gonna eat me!!!” Timon: “Huh?”

“Let me get this straight. You know her, she knows you, but she wants to eat him. And everybody's ok with this? Did I miss something?”

Grant: "Mr. Hammond, the phones are working." Hammond: "Are the children all right?" Grant: "The children are fine. Call the mainland. Tell them to send the damn helicopters!"

"Do shut up, Portia!"

"Well, would you like to know where you'd be without us, the old U.S. of A., to protect you? I'll tell you! The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that's what!"

"If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German!"

"From the moment I slapped eyes on this hombre, I smelled trouble. And refriedn beans."

"Easy hit, dying anyway, smoke too much tabacco. (cough, cough, cough) Very sick, put out of misery."

"The ten of spades, the jack of spades, the queen of spades, the kind of spades. A possible royal flush."

"My, such splendid similarities!"

"All right gamblers, step right up and bring your money!"

"Then I saw little Tiffany. I'm thinkin', you know, eight year old white girl, middle of the ghetto, bunch of monsters, this time of night with quantum physics books? She's about to start some shit, Zed."

"Congratulations, Reg, it's a…squid."

"I don't suppose you know what kind of alien life form leaves a green spectral trail and craves sugar water, do you?"

"You spineless bimbo!"

"Surf's up, big Kahuna!"

"Spank me!"

Friar Tuck: "Let him speak now, or forever hold his peace… Then I now pronounce you…" King Richard: "Hold! I speak!"

"Shut up, you twit!"

"Live people ignore the strange and unusual. I myself and strange and unusual."

Gale: "I'll send you a copy!" Sidney: (punches Gale)

"If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath, would you be standing in the horror section?

"It's showtime!"

"There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie!"

"It all began with a scream over 9-1-1, and eneded with a bloodbath that will rock the town of Woodsboro."

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Cartman: "I can't believe that sonuva bitch!", Kyle: "Here, Cartman, have some snacky cakes.", Cartman: "Dude, snacky cakes? Get down!"

Cartman: "Yeah, well, when I was in prison, we used to sneak stuff in by hiding it up our ass.", Kid: "I've got some fudge hidden up my ass, you want some?", Cartman: "Yeah, I'm not falling for that one again!"

"Boys, it would be a shame to have to kill you now."

“If you heard me, this ledge will remain steady as a rock, and that thing coming toward me won't be what I think it is. If it is, there's no hard feelings, of course, but I'd be very disappointed.”

“As long as the sun rises and sets, as long as there is day and night, and for as long as they both shall live.” (wolf howls in the distance)

“There are strange forces at work in your life, magical ones that surround you. I don't understand them but they frighten me!”

Philippe: “You must save this hawk, he said, for she is my life, my last and best reason for living. And then he said, one day, we will know such happiness, as two people dream of, but never do.” Isabeau: “He said that?” Philippe: “I swear it on my life.”

“A Beta unit is a simuloid. An exact duplicate of you, only not as loud!”

Grig: “Classic military strategy, surprise attack!” Alex: “It'll be a slaughter!” Grig: “That's the spirit!” Alex: “No, MY slaughter!”

“It's gonna be a sparklin' day!”

“Step inside my house.”

Jeremy: “Well, uh, let me explain! Oh, what a lovely hat you're wearing!” Auntie Shrew: “Don't you sweet-talk me!”

Jeremy: “Ahhh! Ooohhh! A sparkly!” Mrs. Brisby: “What?” Jeremy: “You're wearing a sparkly!”

"Girls want guys that are dangerous, have tattoos, play guitar. Stick we me I know these things."

"Screw Em."

"I'm swallowing snot. Ya know ... it doesn't taste that gross."

"Don't ever tell and lie, and say your prayers at night before you go to bed. So as our friend south of the border would say, adios amigos!"

"You got married. You got kids. Stay together damnit. We'll be right back."

"Take the yearling out in the woods and shoot him."

"Candyman." (man's voice)

"You're so stupid, you don't know you stole 25 million dollars from the Cuban mafia?"

"Hey David come on, you're making 5 million a year you could be in a submarine bumping into a Para scope."

"If you ever start to loose your hair you better not grow that big long thing down from your side burns wrapped around your head, cause it's disgusting."

"Don't ever hand me fruit and say 'Taste this, see if it's bad'."

Angela: "You're a shit monkey boy, easy for you to say after you fucked another mans wife." Ted: "huhh?!" Angela: "You should at least have the guts to stand behind your conviction" Ted: "She's lying Siegfried. I swear to god!"

Susan: "We engineered them to be sterile adults. The judas' were not supposed to last past one generation." Peter Mann: "So what happened?" Susan: "The one I examined today was a baby. They were designed to die...they are breeding."

"I met someone today. I don't know how to describe her. She's, she's Luminous!"

"Shocking insolence! I would have terminated her immediately!"

"Well, I don't spend as much time with Mother as I would like, but she's got the cats."

“She's one of 'em! And don't tell me it doesn't make her a bad person, Mike!”

“Death by stereo!”

"Stab 2? Who'd want to see that? Sequels suck!"

"Bitch, hang the phone up and start-sixty-nine his ass! Damn!"

Randy: "And what's with that limp, anyway, 'cause you were stabbed in the back?" Dewey: "Severed nerve!"

Killer: "What's your favorite scary movie?" Randy: "Showgirls! Absoloutely frightening! What's yours?"

"That piece of scum barking rat of yours has just taken his last dump on my lawn! If I find one more, just one, I'm gonna catch him and staple his ass shut!"

"Here ya go sonny, a little somethin' for the old sweet tooth!"

Ma Fratelli: "Sweetheart, are you ok?", Francis: "No!"

"Gerard, I told her I was leaving for Paris. She wanted to give me something to remember her by."

Cardinal: "A snap of my fingers, and you could be back on the block where I found you." Seline: "And with a flick of my wrist, I could change your religion."

"You slime-eating dogs, you scum-sucking pigs, you sons of a motherless goat!"

"You want to die with a man's gun, not a little sissy gun like this!"

"And so she walked out of our lives forever."

"Why, Johnny Ringo! You look like somebody just walked over your grave!"

"Come on, that's not striking an officer. THAT'S striking an officer."

"Homosexuality will always be a sexual perversion. And you say that around here now and everybody goes nuts. But I don't care."

"The church is going to stay out of it the best they can."

"She's dead - he ripped her apart. I can't hold on much longer. I can't hold on. I can't. Please have them shoot him."

"Strap in fellas."

"These are the most secure buildings on earth; the White House, the Pentagon, the Kremlin and George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch.

Eric: "Linus laid the whole thing out in 5th grade." Windows: "What's your game plan?" Eric: "We storm the ranch or we die trying." Hutch: "This is a suicide mission."

"He actually had me stay here last night, in his jammies. Using his toothbrush… in his house. And, I spent the day swimming & sailing with his family."

“Smoke that motherfucker like it ain't no thing!”

"Sharks are like dogs. They only bite when you touch their private parts."

Ula: "How's that hot wahine nympho from Ohio, uhu?" Henry: "She's great. I dropped her off at the airport this morning." Ula: "Oh, come on, I need some details. You get some booby, some assy, a pull on your poi-poi? Come on."

"Look at those two shitheads."

"That is the stupidest-looking swing I've ever seen."

Caddy: "I wouldn't surf with a bleeding wound like that. You might attract a shark or something." Ula: "What's wrong with that, cuz? Sharks are naturally peaceful." Caddy: "Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut, anyway?" Ula: "A shark bit me."

"Sit. Stay. Shit. No!"

"Wou... Would you stop poofing on that joint and start do some work?"

"And I've got symptoms. I don't care what that doctor says."

"Chest pain, left arm a little numb, accelerated heart beat, spots. I'm actually seeing spots."

Joe: "She's right about the police." Terry: "Shoot her, burry her body in the woods." Kate Wheeler: "What am I, invisible?"

Terry: "We're in Scotland with a bunch of sheep. I don't know what this is all about." Joe: "Hey!" Terry: "Our horses should be like..." Joe: "You all right? Are you all right?" Terry: "I need a stabilizing collar. You probably do too. You can't just... We shouldn't even be moving around. And now, there'...

"We're in Scotland with a bunch of sheep. I don't know what this is all about."

Kate: "I love this song." Terry: "Actually, I never heard... I never heard it before. I have to press A1 on these things. It's an obsessive compulsive thing. It's a pretty song though. I played it... I played it six times."

"You son of a bitch!"

"(singing) I'm too sexy my shirt, too sexy my shirt, so sexy it hurts."

Coop: "That's him Squeak, that's Tuttle." Remer: "He's been talking some serious shit about you all night." Coop: "Yeah, he told everyone that he caught you jacking off in the bathroom before the game." Squeak: "He saw that?"

"h, now you're such a big shot going to act in a big Hollywood movie? Sellout."

The song about Coop when he is driving around and decides to fix his life.

Jack: "Wang, These guy's, these sing dings?" Wang: "Chang Sing" Jack: "They got enemies?" Wang: "Wing Kong" Jack: "Who wear red turbans... Holy Shit!"

"Any of em savvy English?"

"Son of a bitch must pay."

"You could learn from this guy Gaff. He's a goddamn one man slaughter house, that's what he is."

"How to stay alive."

Dulli: "I'm stoned. I'm fucking stoned. I'm really sto... I'm fucking stoned, man. I'm really..." George: "Stoned?" Dulli: "Yeah ha ha." George: "Yeah."

Santiago: "Ramone tells me you are looking for some mota." George: "Yeah I am." Santiago: "(Speaking Spanish) For instance, something like this?" George: "Oh yeah, yeah, that'll do it. I'll take it." Santiago: "El dice que el to do. You're funny. Really, how much will you be needing?" George: "All of ...

"You think people don't know you're a drug dealer. Everyone knows you're a drug dealer, it's no secret. How do you think that reflects on me? Every time I go out I'm humiliated. So you go to jail. It's for your own good. You need to straighten your life out. What are you looking at Mrs. Gracie, your son's no prize."

: "It's great, but what am I supposed to do with all this?" George: "Sell it." Derek: "Jesus Christ, George, I don't see you in two years and you show up on my fucking door with 110 pounds of blow." George: "Just fucking sell it, Derek." Derek: "Alright, but it's going to take me a year." Mr. T: "I ca...

"I want the stimulus package to fail."

"But the American people are struggling every day to meet their mortgage, stay in their jobs, pay their bills to send their kids to school, and to hope that they don't get sick or somebody they care for gets sick that sends them into bankruptcy. I think we left a few months ago the adage that if it was good for a de...

Man: "There she is our new campaign manager." Woman: "You all scared of girls?" Man: "Ah!"

Michael: "Excuse me I looking for Hanna Schmitz." Man: "Schmitz has left." Michael: "Left? Did she say where she was going?"

Judge: "You were picking woman out and saying you and you and you have to be sent back to be killed." Hanna: "No! No!"

"15 career Oscar nominations. That's a record. I hate to say it but when someone puts numbers like that it's hard not to think steroids."

"But someday we all do have to confront the notion that our silly gods cost the world too greatly. But there I go ruining the ending."

"The shortest speech in Oscar history: Yes!"

"I'd be lying if I haven't made a version of this speech before, I think I was probably 8 years old and staring into the bathroom mirror. And this would have been a shampoo bottle. Well it's not a shampoo bottle now."

"How could for so many years did Sean Penn get all those jobs playing straight men."

"I'm sorry Meryl but you have to just suck that up."