Tracy: "I studied fried chicken at the school of hard knocks. Isn't that right Mr. Jack?" Jack: "You still here?"

"It's kind of hard to take life advice from a single woman who's using her treadmill as a hanger for a wedding dress."

"I've technically died twice. It's not fun. But I'm not gonna be around forever and at some point I wanna spend more time with my grand kids. And take my boat down to the islands, get to know my secret family up in Canada."

"By the time she was 5 she was 87 pounds, I mean she could eat!"

Dot Com: "Wanna go to Vegas and buy a bunch of sarcophagi?" Tracy: "Nah, I don't even use the ones I have."

"But it just a bunch of gay guys that like to get in silly costumes and prance around."

"Let's skip the foreplay, get right to the penitrashe."

"I know what you mean, when I was eight I had the name on the scoreboard at a Phillies game and they spelled it Lez, but it was pretty cool."

"But trust me when I was dating Condoleezza there were genuine cultural differences. I mean we would go to the movies and she would yell at the screen."

Steven: "I spend a lot of free time blogging about Star Wars." Liz: "Oh really? You like Star Wars?" Steven: "I love it!" Liz: "I was Princess Leia like four Halloweens in row. Recently." Steven: "No no no no no, not the fantasy movie with the monsters. I'm talking about the Strategic Defense Initiative."

"You're not an actor, you're Jack Donaghy alright, so quite whining and nut up. You're right, if you can't do this, you are a failure."

Liz: "You are unbelievable." Tracy: "I'm unbelievable? What about your racist mess? Thinkin a grown man is illiterate. That's the subtle racism of lowered expectations. Bing Crosby said that." Liz: "No Bill Cosby said that." Tracy: "That's racist."

Tracy: "But this job is hard. I just want to be able to do what I want to do. You know I once shot a whole movie without ever getting outta my car?" Pete: "Yeah I paid to see that. That was supposed to be a Western."

Jack: "Lemon, can I speak with you alone for a moment." Liz: "That's what your sister asked me last night. Booyeah!"

"I don't know what happened in your life that caused you to develop a sense of humor as a coping mechanism, maybe it was some sort of brace or corrective boot you wore during childhood. But in any case, I'm glad you're on my team."

Floyd: "I also have a sexual fantasy about gopher. Except mine's the one from Caddyshack." Liz: "Well that makes sense cause he's a very good dancer."

Liz: "I think this is going to be great Angie. I think, you and me are going to make a great team." Angie: "Oh, you lookin' for a sassy black friend?" Liz: "Oh no I didn't…" Angie: "Well you got one now girlfriend, go on."

Jack: "There she is, there's my star. And to think I wanted you to lose this weight. It sounds so crazy now."

Jack: "It's come to my attention that you no longer have an eating problem." Jenna: "That's ridiculous." Jack: "Is it? Your not breathing heavily, your skin has cleared up, I even find you slightly attractive right now."

"Oh Jenna, this is almost like something out of a fairy tale."

Liz: "In this one, Tracy plays a gentleman who wears flamboyant cloths and lives up town." Angie: "He's a pimp." Liz: "He's an entrepreneur." Angie: "What's the characters name?" Liz: "Slick back Lamar."

Liz: "He's also playing Barack Obama." Angie: "No, we support Kucinich."

"Oh just to know that she's filled with bile over me warms my heart."

Liz: "So you got to be mean Kenneth." Kenneth: "I guess I could wait for her to drop something and then say 'Smooth move exlax'. That's what my mom's friend Ron would do." Liz: "Oh brother."

Jack: "You should get to know Devon, tell him all of your television ideas. You know he started off as a page just like you." Kenneth: "Really? So did I!"

Tracy: "Dr. Spaceman, when they check my DNA will it tell me what diseases I might get or help me to remember my ATM pin code?" Dr. Spaceman: "Absolutely, science is whatever we want it to be."

Pete: "Means he probly murdered someone and found God while he was in jail." Liz: "Maybe he's born again, oh boy. We can spend our Saturdays in Central Park trying to save gay rollerbladers."

Devon: "If you'll excuse me, I'll go slip into something a little more comfortable." Kenneth: "Like in the movies."

Angie: "Are you stepping up on me?" Liz: "So what if I am? Also, your nails look tacky."

Devon: "I'm gay and I want your job." Jack: "Devon I'm straighter than you are gay and I leave particles of guys like you in my wind."

Liz: "You're honestly telling me you don't know who Rosemary Howard is?" Pete: "Is she one of the ladies who tried to shoot Gerald Ford?"

"I grew up wanting to be Samantha Stevens on Bewitched. The closet I got was being married to a gay guy for two years."

"Who'd have ever known it was so many words. It was like a Mos Def CD."

"Remember the mailbox sketch that shocked America?"

"Death sentence number two. Shotting people at The Source Awards is a tradition. It's like Christmas. Or like shooting people outside a Hot 97."

Young Raw Dog: "Hey Chump! You scuffed my sneakers, Dr. J wears these!" Young Tracy: "I'm sorry man, I'm pretty drunk." Young Raw Dog: "You know what? I'ma eat you family!"

"Eh yo my G's we roll 50 deep, in the club VIP sippin on Donaghy."

"I feel sick to my stomach about dog fighting. But what can you do when they tell you not to."

Tracy: "I'm just going through the classic stages of grief. Fear, denial, horniness, wisdom, sleepiness and now depression." Kenneth: "What about anger?" Tracy: "NO, I don't want to do anger, you can't make me!"

Liz: "So what you're saying is, any woman who doesn't like you is racist." Steven: "No no no no no no no no, some women are gay."

Mailman: "Tracy, don't stare directly at the sun, it'll make you crazy." Young Tracy: "You're not my dad."

Jack: "Well I'm gonna let St. Patrick and St. Michael do my talkin for me!" Jack's Dad: "You'll have to get through Tip O'Neal and Bobby Sands first." Eddie: "You call those fist names? Say hello to Bono and Sandra Day O'Connor." Jack: "Those are the stupidest fist names I've ever heard."

"I get this Dad thing. I mean my father belongs in the Smiling Irish Bastard Hall of Fame."

Jack(As Tracy's Mom): "He gambled away my welfare check." Jack(As Tracy's Father): "Woman, I got a mind to smack you upside the head."

Rosemary: "You're just like me. You get up in the morning and smoke weed." Liz: "No I don't." Rosemary: "You obsess about the Jamaican man across the hall."

"Never go with a hippie to a second location."

"Skinny bar, fat bar, fat bar, fat bar, skinny bar, fat bar, $1.24."

"That was satisfying, wasn't it?"

Andre: "Soviet!" Brett: "Soviet!" Gaston: "Soviet!"

Master Shake: "Okay. Here's the plan. Indigo is right across the street from here, okay?" Frylock: "The hair salon.." Master Shake: "Yes. And I'm gonna go over there and see if they can squeeze me in for a perm. But when I get back, this rabbit's goin' down!"

Frylock: "What's up with this light?" Master Shake: "Oh this? This is the Shake signal. Whenever there is danger, it will turn on and we will follow it to justice." Frylock: "And it's gonna stay on your lid the whole time?" Master Shake: "Yes, I was thinking that, yes." Frylock: "So lemme get this straight.. There's...

Carl: "Sweet, sweet nectar. It's like my pool is tearin' ass around the backyard..but it's stayin' still. Still waters run deep." Master Shake: "Yeahh, Carl! Sweet! That is tricked out my friend. Turbo! Very sweet--" Carl: "You stay away from it because you are weird."

Frylock: "Dammit, Meatwad. Everywhere you go something dies or gets hurt!" Meatwad: "Everybody hates me because they die or get hurt. Well squirrelly doesn't hate me. He loves me! Where's my buddy squirrelly?" Frylock: "Oh here he is. I found him face up in the hallway after your last little hug." Meatwad: "Squirrel...

Master Shake: "Meatwad, it's spaghetti time! Oh, boy! Spaghetti, huh?" Meatwad: "All right! Spaghetti! Now that's Italian!" Master Shake: "Yeah, it is! There it is! Eat it!" Meatwad: "That don't look like no spaghetti at all." Master Shake: (Puts TV cord on plate with silverware) "There, now it's spaghetti. Now eat ...

"What are you talking about? Don't flatter yourself with your jealous fantasies. What do you want us to do? Sign your freakin' yearbook?!"

Frylock: "What're these spikes? These spikes all over your body? I mean, surely they have a purpose." Emory: "What spikes?" Oglethorpe: "Oh, these. No, no, no, these are not spikes. They are pointy arms." Emory: "We squirt soap out of them..and that's how we keep the ship so clean. See?" Frylock: "That's soap? Reall...

Carl: "What're ya doin', Fryman?" Frylock: "Oh, hey Carl. I'm just measuring the circumference of your skull." Carl: "Oh yeah? You doin' some sort of science thing here? Why are you doin' it?" Frylock: "Because I need to uh.. I'm making you a sweater."

"Listen.. I would never hit you with an axe.. when you had skewers stabbed through your mouth. I would figure one or the other would be enough."

Frylock: "You've been messing around with my computer, haven't you?!" Meatwad: "Shake said it was the crime lab." Master Shake: "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't realize that I was in the Supreme frickin' Court here." Meatwad: "Neither did I." Master Shake: "Should I have my lawyer present? For my frickin' trial?!" Meatwad: ...

"Of course it is, what are you kidding me?!? Santa Claus ain't legal and he's around."

Frylock: "Where did you get this pornography? Where on earth did you get this, Meatwad?" Master Shake:" Yeah where? I gotta confiscate this, give it all to me. I need to learn how to read…back here."

Frylock: "Life isn't about winning material goods." Ignignokt: "No, it's about taking material goods when others aren't looking."

_

Carl: "I'm gonna take another shower before... the dirtiness." Master Shake: "Yeah why don't you take about 5 more, and while you're at it try a shirt with sleeves if you got one Romeo. We're walkin' down that aisle!" Carl: "Yeah!!! TONIGHT!"

"Hey, heyyy. Don't be a sore loser, now. You..you'll get her.. when I'm done with her."

"Of course it makes sense. Look, Carl. You just go home, wash your face and your feet, shave your shoulders and you come on over to my house tonight!"

"How are you ever gonna ride a 10-speed with no frickin' legs? You're just gonna bust the ass that you don't even have! Who bothered to spawn you? You know? You know what I'm sayin?"

Master Shake: (Playing guitar) "You make me feel... emotional... (Stops playing) Meatwad, turn that down! (Plays guitar again) Kissin' you... Dammit!! That's it! I'm comin' back--" Frylock: "Shake, put that down." Master Shake: " Look, I am out there trying to write new material-" Frylock: "Shake, you don't even hav...

Meatwad: "Uhh.. Let's go swimming... ya know, that might cheer you up." Happy-Time Harry:" Aww. Yeah, swimming sounds like a really fun idea. Why don't you go swimming? I gotta take a nap, alright? Get me up at midnight, cause I gotta go to work!"

Master Shake: "Do uh.. do.. gimme search for "super crime", "girls in trouble" and "press release, how to"." Frylock: "Here's what your search turned up." Master Shake: "Sex with animals.. There's no time, man!"

Master Shake: "I have something to confess here.." Frylock: "You're the fume?" Master Shake: "What'd.. how'd you know?" Meatwad: "More like 'The Puddle' now." Master Shake: "Listen, we must keep my secret identity a secret...and that's what sucks about a secret identity. I will never get the credit that I deserve fo...

Master Shake: "Gimme those! Those are mine, I want them!" Meatwad: "I bought the bag!" Master Shake: "I want 'em!!" Meatwad: "I bought the bag and everything inside the bag." Master Shake: "And you have the bag! Look, you're a deep sea diver, go drink some salt water." Frylock: "Shake, Meatwad bought the chips. The ...

Meatwad: "Has he eaten yet?" Frylock: "No. You can tell he's still depressed." Meatwad: "Really. Is he out of my room yet? What? I need my space!"

Master Shake: "How ya doin'?! I think I need to go to the doctor. Cause I've been losing long, long tracks of time and now...I'm starting to just get a little freaked out about the fact that my hand is missing.. Heheheh.. I can't find it!" Frylock: "Shake, you'll be fine. That hole in your head will heal up in no ti...

Meatwad: "Boy I feel like a fool. I ain't never again gonna do what no stupid rap musician gonna tell me what to do." Frylock: "That's a good idea, Meatwad." Meatwad: "From now on, it's only heavy metal bands that gonna boss me around. Them people speak the truth. They got this six-story skeleton named Eddie, and he...

Master Shake: "Breakfast time! I made your favorite: sandcakes! You like those!" Frylock: "Shake, I thought we agreed to steer him back towards real food." Master Shake: "Yeah I know but it's so funny to watch him eat it. Meatwad: Mmm.. It is good." Master Shake: "Wow! You got a bottle cap! Hehahah."

Frylock: "Well, ask him what he's doing with all this garbage." Meatwad: "Wazzup wazzup wazzup wazzup wazzup in the hizzzyy?!" Sir Loin: "Man, isn't it obvious, man? Can't you tell?" Frylock: "Tell him, "no"." Meatwad: "Sheeeeeet" Sir Loin: "Ohh, oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was speakin' to a fool!"

Carl: "I didn't think it was loaded...I just sorta checkin' the barrel there." Master Shake: "..and it went off in your hand. Blah, blah. I know I know, I was there. Why do you think I cranked up the volume?!" Carl: "Do you see my foot?!" Master Shake: "You know, hearing does not come back. It degrades over time." C...

Carl: "Is it supposed to stink like this?" Master Shake: "Yeah, that's why they call it 'crude' Carl." Carl: "No, it's not. We hit my septic tank, you jackass." Master Shake: "Oh, so you're storing extra oil in your septic tank? I'm on to you!" Carl: "You're wearing my dinner!" Master Shake: "Ohh, gross!"

Meatwad: "Yeah, what's wrong with your hair?" Frylock: "Well that.. really wasn't the question.." Meatwad: "So it is grass…" Frylock: "Damn!" Meatwad: "I'm eatin' it!"

Emory: "Wow, is that a Powerpuff girl or something?" Oglethorpe: "No, can you not see she has a mohawk and wheelchair. We are not getting sued!"

"I remember some things.. I'm just not too clear on being so old.. and black. Why am I black? And where did I get this suit? It's ridiculous."

Carl: "May I see a mirror, please?" Master Shake: "All right, here ya go.. Shaun Cassidy." Carl: "Whoa, whoa whoa whoa.. Oohhhh, gross!!" Master Shake: "What're you, an idiot? You've never heard of Sean Cassidy?"

Frylock: "Here, this little steering wheel makes it go left and right, and this switch here is power." Carl: "Which button sorta turns me to the lawyer and makes me sue the hell outta you?" Frylock: "All right, easy Carl. Don't make me have to shut the power off." Carl: "D-d-d-don't do that. Just sorta put it on my ...

Frylock: "Go ahead, try it out." Carl: "I don't need to go right now." Frylock: "Oh, that's cool. I mean, I'll wait." Carl: "No, you won't." Frylock: "Oh, I get it. You want to be alone when you go to the... Oh, Carl. By the way, we also made you a little care package for your new adventure." Carl: "Oh boy, fiber ta...

Frylock:" No, not that. Look, what do you call it when he.. when he wants to get out of this?" Tree:" Oh, that's the sweet release of death."

Frylock: "Shake! It would take all day to smoke somethin' that big!" Master Shake: "Smoke it? What're you smokin', cause I ain't slow cookin' jack! We're flash-fryin' this motha!"

Master Shake: "Wow.. Somebody should really get that. Hmm.. Somebody... Yeah.. Ohh.. Yeah, I'll get it-- Oh, you got it, okay." Meatwad: "It's for you.."

Frylock: "From the Ship of the Damned!! Muah hah hah." Meatwad: "Okay." Frylock: "You know, the Ship of the Damned?" Meatwad: "Nuh uh." Frylock: "Famous short story about a ship that had a hole in it?" Meatwad: "No." Master Shake: "Yeah, just go put on your ballerina shoes get the rest of the outfit, be who you real...

Master Shake: "It's a sandwich. Two pieces of bread and some meat. And it doesn't even have bacon on it! I don't need it! I got it licked! And I would like to lick.. that sandwich. Just a little flavor..just a little taste in my mouth.." Voice: "What's goin' on.." Frylock: "Shake, get rid of the damn sandwich! If yo...

Meatwad: "Aww, shoot. The bronze 5-0." Master Shake: "Is there a.. Is there an emergency or something?" Meatwad: "Well, yeah.. I mean.." Master Shake: "Somebody having a baby?" Meatwad: "Well, I need to get to work.." Master Shake: "What's goin' on here?" Meatwad: "Hey, I'm a wild man. I can't drive 55." Master Shak...

"Stickers are fun!"

"Joshua's basket was sad. It was really, really sad. Like, I actually like, I almost wanted to cry. A strawberry pie…what the hell!"

"I guess I should have slept with her. I guess that's the way we stay in the house."

Katie: "We have to sleep in that same bed and I got stubbly legs." Luke: "What?"

"You're sleeping on the floor tonight."

"I got to do my sit ups, ya know. You never know when a girl's gonna come and lift your shirt up. Which happens a lot, I mean you wouldn't think but it happens a lot."

"Oh my gosh, we're gonna have to know, like, statistics or something."

"Smell my money! Smell my money! Woo!"

"I love shaking my butt in front of people."

Meatwad: "What was that noise?! Ahem.. like a give a bull crap. I'm a man, boy. I'm macho. I ain't no bi-curious. If I was that, how come my muscles be all big, and wearin' this spandex?" Master Shake: "Right, you're full-blown gay!"

"I've partied with a lot of people 18 to 21 and mentally I think that they're all pretty much at the same level."

DP: "So then you don't mind if I talk to her?" Carl: "Her? Yeah, knock yourself out. She's a regular ho-bag." DP: "What's up little lady?" Skeeter: "Dude, she's got a bit of a 'stache.." DP: "All right, she's good to go. Hey um, my Dad's like totally rich we own this dealership, so like.. what sorority are you in?"...

Frylock: "Hey, Carl. If you wouldn't mind, would you please turn your security grid the f*** off so I can get some sleep?" Carl: "Hang on.. Lemme think..... No."

Carl: (Reading a self-help book) "I couldn't help but notice we made eye contact. I really like your shoes.. Try laughter; laughter is a good us-- Screw th--, this is lame. Hey, I saw you checkin' out my goods. You wanna sample 'em? A little try before you buy? Come here, bitch! Stand and deliver!" Master Shake: "Co...

Frylock: "Thanks for moving me Carl." Carl: "Yeah, well thanks for leaving. When are the other two showing up?" Frylock: "Oh, they're not." Carl: "What do you mean "they're not"?" Frylock: "Oh you didn't know? Their staying back at the house next to you." Carl: "That's not exactly what we agreed upon, is it?" Fryloc...

Frylock: "What're y'all doin'..tonight?" Ignignokt: "Well I wonder who wants to know." Frylock: "All right, look. I know we've had a lot of differences in the past, but uh..." Ignignokt: "But what? I've hacked into your mind. You're having a party and no one's showing up." Frylock: "No... but how did you know that?"...

Ignignokt: "All right, fine. (Beep) it." Err: "Yeah! (Beep) it!" Ignignokt: "Just say, 'here' and let's consider the word 'here' to be short for 'Here I am; rock you like a hurricane.'" Err: "You do as the scorpions have before you!"

_

Ignignokt: "And we'll use this glass to remove all hair from the planet?" Err: "What? No man, he said "save the world."" Ignignokt: "I was there, and he said "shave the world."" Mothmonsterman: "No, he said save." Err: "He did." Ignignokt: "Mutiny! And who named us click - click - click - click - click!?" (Brownie M...

"So long fried race, hello fried chicken."

"Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet."

_

Announcer: "From the makers of the Love Contract comes the confidentiality piece." Girl: "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anybody." Dave: "I know you won't. Or I'll sue your ass."

Rick James: "I'm sorry Charlie Murphy. It was an accident. I was having too much fun. I offer you a truce. The stickiest of the icky, you wanna smoke with the old boy Rick James." Charlie Murphy: "Yo man, my forehead is bumpin man." Rick James: "Now that you mention it, I think I'm bleeding inside my chest."

Charlie Murphy: "Shows up at my brother's house fucked up." Rick James: "Nice place nigga."

"They should have never gave you niggas money. You don't know how to appreciate shit, you know you can get another couch. What am I gonna do about my legs Eddie Murphy?"

"And what better way to start than with Dave, who calls himself a LARPer."

"Even when slappin was fashionable, you know they did it in Paris, a guy would come up, I challenge you to a duel. They would have a gun fight after that! Somebody had to go."

"I slapped the shit out of him."

"If I make it on Beauty and the Geek, one thing I definitely plan to bring with me is my shoe collection."

"They should have never gave you niggas money!"

"FYI, people still do steal radios you know. How do you think I got this suit?"

"Shazaaam, aaaaahhhhhhhhh."

"You know we gonna call this? The shirts against the blouses."

Nate: "What 3 things would you want to take with you if you were going to be stranded on a desert Island." Summer: "A swimsuit." Jenny Lee: "Really? A swimsuit?" Summer: "Yea." Jenny Lee: "Cause there'd be nobody else on your island." Summer: "Oh ok, a guy." Jenny Lee: "Would you still need the swimsuit then?" Summe...

"Shoot the J, shoot it! Let's run a play, computer blue. Darling picket. Ow!"

"After it was all over, he took us in the house to serve us pancakes."

"Shazaaaam, this is the ride of my life. I'm having another heart attack. Thank you Red Balls."

Jasmine: "So when you say software engineer, does that mean like computers." Jesse: "Yeah."

"Lets go for the mating call of the girls. Shoe sale!"

"My wife and I talked about it and we chose Cheryl."

"On no planet is a shoe caddy a good gift."

"There he is you all. Suckie, suckie!"

Leon: "Doctor, you've seen his balls, right?" Larry: "Would you say my balls were unusually long?" Doctor: "They're a bit more distended than the average testicles." Leon: "You got long ass balls Larry."

"Fuckhead, shit face, cocksuker, son of a bitch."

"Tell me if you think this is an appropriate question huh? And, I mean no disrespect. Have you been stealing my newspaper?"

Larry: "I'm having a nice snuggle here." Cheryl: "I know but your snuggle always leads to sex." Larry: "What's wrong with that? Why shouldn't it lead to sex?" Cheryl: "Well sometimes you just want to snuggle and you don't want to have sex."

Larry: "She's nuts! What a whack job! Are you kidding me? I was consoling her, I was touching her hair. That's ridiculous." Lewis: "Hm, mm." Larry: "She thinks I'm coming on to her? Get outta here. Get the hell outta here."

"You were consoling me, and that that that's consolation to me, sex is consolation, isn't that consolation."

Cheryl: "Did you even notice her?" Larry: "Well I mean, I smelled her perfume, cause you know, it's hard not to notice." Cheryl: "Well she owns a perfume shop."

Karina: "Now, see that man over there? Peyman Alahi, his house, his party, his diamond... for now." Chuck: "Are you talking about Señor Wookie over there?"

"We shoot at enemies like people show cloths."

Chuck: "So you don't let anyone know who you really are." Carina: "Can't. Might have to leave them in five minutes or shoot them in the head."

"Say alright we is fining you $200 if you kiss her juggy fruits"

"You know what they say Frank, speed kills."

Alexx: "You don't fall three stories, get up and run away." Horatio Caine: "You do, if you got something to hide."

Frank: "Friend said she came down to drink Mojitos and catch some sun." Horatio Caine: "Well it looks like something caught her."

"We gotta to move quick. The tide is rising and we have a sinking crime scene."

"So ain't God just like an over hyped David Blaine?"

"She said her name was sister fister."

"Should you be polite to prostitute?"

"She nice, I like her."

"But she was nice! High five!"

"She like to make money, high five."

Larry: "What's with the small plate?" Susie: "That's the only one I had clean." Larry: "What?" Susie: "It's the same exact portion." Larry: "Such a tiny plate." Susie: "But it's the same exact portion, what's the difference?" Larry: "It's what my grandmother used to eat from."

"Cheryl is a great girl, but we have to stick with Larry."

Bruno: "So tell me, do you hope that these white trash, trashing people will buy the clothes?" Designer: "I don't think they can afford it." Bruno: "They are too poor, ha ha ha."

Larry: "Let me try let me try one more." Martin Short & Larry: "High, and low." Martin Short: "Then be stunned in the middle." Larry: "Stunned in the middle, what's going on." Martin Short: "Now you've had a stroke. You don't want to play a stroke victim." Larry: "Yeah."

"Ever shlup marble? You outta try shluppin marble one day. It's a shlup."

"I had a side dish of apple sauce and I have to tell you, it was, really fantastic. It was so tasty and I'm thinkin they never serve apple sauce in restaurants."

Hugh's Son: "Shhh yourself." Larry: "You shhh, shhh." Hugh's Son: "You shh poopy head." Larry: "You dodo brain." Hugh's Son: "You're a dodo brain." Larry: "You're a dodo brain."

"Okay, so it ain't legal but if it's just for personal use let's say you just got half a kilo or whatever."

Larry: "You know what? You gotta stop the grunting." Cheryl: "What are you talking about?" Larry: "You grunt on every shot. Every shot you hit you (makes grunt noise) make this disgusting noise. (Makes grunt noise with a snork at the end)"

Larry: "Well you grunt every shot. It's really annoying and it's throwing me off." Cheryl: "Oh, is that why you're losing?" Larry: "Sounds like pigs fucking."

"Oh like Sesame Street is very educationalist. I has learned a lot from that. Why don't they make a version of Sesame Street for kids?"

Brad: "Then I'll finally slip her the sausage." Larry: "Oh is that right? That very formidable sausage of yours." Brad: "And she will be forever grateful my friend." Larry: "Yeah, yeah."

"So if Jesus were alive today, where would he shop?"

"She must be tight, like a man's anus."

"So would it be able to multiply, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10…" Guy: "Yes." Ali G: 10, 10, 10…" Guy: "Yes." Ali G: "10,10, 10, 10, 10,10, 10…" Guy: "Yes." Ali G: "10, 10.." Guy: "Yes." Ali G: "You don't know what I was going to say."

"You speak to the hand, cause the face ain't listening yo."

Borat: "Should I tell people, that I am good at sex?" Dating Coach: "No." Borat: "But I am." Dating Coach: "But you don't want to say that cause women…" Borat: "But I am more good than many men."

"Sexy time."

"Why don't you get humanoids who make a lot of natural gas to maybe squeeze one out into a box or something like that, and use that energy."

"But why can't we use technology and let's say take out some of the bit with all respect boring organs and stick in like a cd player like wicked speakers you like boomin out you like a walking sound system."

"So how come I can't remember my pin number?"

Sound that ends Borat segment

"Should it be illegal to have sex above the age of something like 50?"

"So would you ever send carrots?"

"Surprised. I am surprised compared to where I started, when we first announced for this race, by the number of critical issues that appear to be coming to a head all at the same time. You know, when I first started this race, Iraq was a central issue, but the economy appeared on the surface to still be relatively s...

"I’m confident that we can make sure that Pakistan’s nuclear arsenal is secure — primarily, initially, because the Pakistani army I think recognizes the hazards of those weapons falling into the wrong hands."

"Shut the fuck up, Eric!"

"Say the words Shanghai Shack. You will get a happy ending, I'm not kidding."

"You know, sometimes your position in life allows to get things you never could have had. That doesn't mean it's not right."

Playmate 1: "So what does the middle A stand for Ari? Arrogant?" Playmate 2: "Abraisive?" Playmate 3: "Argumentative?" Turtle: "Annoying." Vince: "Asshole?"

"Ari that's sweet. Stop kissing my ass and get it done."

"You're wrong, you…you sad little fat hack fuck."

"Well that's weird because it…it feels like you're taking a steel catheter and shoving it right up my cock!"

"She tell me sometimes, she wish she was a rape by someone else."

"So does you interview the dogs or does you get like one of the senior dogs to do it."

"Could I choose to spend my life with a chick with a dick?"

"So if I were to give you a lap dance right here and now, you're telling me you wouldn't be turned on?"

"So, showering with a friend, akiay or a nicht nicht?"

"Some men who pretend to be married but in secret they do a bung bung bung in other man anus."

"I will not leave until you swear on the eyes of your child that you will vote for him."

"So at what age does you think parents should give their kids their first splif?"

Ali G: "So should parents invite the kids into the room while they is bonin." Guy: "No, no no no." Ali G: "Or should they show them porno?"

"So is you saying that the man cows just whip it out and gizz over their babalons or what?"

"Rumor had it your girl gave the best rimjob in LA. Trust me, play your cards right - by 4 o'clock - you'll be sitting on her face like a bidee!"

Drama: "That's what I call service with a smile." Turtle: "More like a smile I'd like to serve!"