The oldest asked for a wand more powerful than any in existence. So Death fashioned him one from an elder tree that stood nearby.
The second brother decided he wanted to humiliate Death even further......and asked for the power to recall loved ones from the grave. So Death plucked a stone from the river and offered it to him.
The first brother traveled to a distant village......where, with the Elder Wand in hand......he killed a wizard with whom he had once quarreled.
These are the Yusufzai. They're Afghani freedom-fighters. They're our allies.
The second brother journeyed to his home......where he took the stone and turned it thrice in hand.
Why don't you gentlemen relax. The tribe's planning a raid on a soviet tank division tomorrow. There will be plenty for us to do then.
To his delight, the girl he'd once hoped to marry before her untimely death......appeared before him. Yet, soon she turned sad and cold for she did not belong in the mortal world.
That's... I really appreciate that. Would you guys look for another shoe that looks like this, please?
Marcia: The word I'm getting is the Times review is going to be a love letter. Paul: That will be a first.
The presumption must now be that Paul Sheldon is dead.
The reason you want to read these works is so you can experience them for yourself...
To truly share and understand the common feelings of all mankind... the feelings of being alive.
That was beautiful.
Those two ought to get a room.
Oh, that's it. That's the spot. Just keep doing that. Oh, don't lose it. Ohh. Ohh!
Now that's what I call Marine Biology.
This isn't real. College is a dream world. This is something you do to pass the time till you go out in the real world and start buying people.
This is Saperstein. Where is he?
Trent: This is a rotten way to end it. Sutter Cane: This is not the ending. You haven't read it yet.
Things must be getting pretty bad out there to bring you fellas in.
There's a guard with a pair of swollen testicles who swears you wanted out of here.
The crosses are a nice touch. They'd almost have to keep you in here once they'd seen these, wouldn't they, John?
Things are turning to shit out there, aren't they?
The Sutter Cane... disappearance.
Trent: That lunatic with the axe? That was Cane's agent? Styles: Hard to believe, isn't it? Trent: Yeah, well, you'd think a guy that outsells Stephen King could find better representation.
Trent: This shit really sells, doesn't it? Styles: More than you'd imagine. Surprised? Trent: Lady, nothing surprises me.
They all seem to have the same plot, you know. Slimy things in the dark, people go mad, they turn into monsters, you know. But the funny thing is that they're kind of better written than you'd expect, you know. They sort of get to you in a way.
The red dot is Hobb's End. It's not on any real map, but look at this. The two line up. Like it or not, Cane's book covers place Hobb's End right in the middle of New England.
They won't let me out.
The Mrs. Pickman in the book is a lunatic who chops her husband into coleslaw.
The Eider Wand. The most powerful wand ever made.
That sweet old thing that we met downstairs isn't capable of anything worse than... Dipping her dentures into her husband's beer.
That is a good way to lose an eye, my friend.
The Resurrection Stone.
The G-forces, Buzz. The G-forces!
Together, they make the Deathly Hallows. Together, they make one master of Death.
Th-there's the ground. There's the ground. It looks hard. O.K. Trees... Trees. Ooh! Ow! Oh! That's the mahogany! Ow! Squirrel's nest! Fir! Fir! Ow! Ow! Pine! Oh! The ground!
That mark was on a grave in Godric's Hollow.
Block: Topper Harley? Harley: Once, perhaps. Now I am called Tukachinchilla. Block: What does it mean? Harley: Fluffy bunny feet.
They were angry, you see, about what I'd been writing.
That treacherous little bleeder. Is there no one we can trust?
They kidnapped her because he supported me. He was just desperate.
Tell me, Grindelwald. Tell me where it is. Tell me who possesses it.
The Eider Wand lies with him, of course......buried in the earth. Dumbledore.
The money stays, and you go.
The navy is embarking on a secret mission code-named "sleepy weasel." I'm giving you a second chance, something your father never had. You're the best of the best, Topper.
Boom. That's me and Skerritt.
Try and be a little more responsible tomorrow.
Thank you for choosing Liberty. Drive safely.
The Kid: What's Bolivia? Cassidy: Bolivia... that's a country, stupid.
Well, thank you, Flat Nose. That's what sustained me in my time of trouble.
I didn't get in because the bouncer was douche-face.
This is the American fantasy, right here.
Ted: Tom Brady could do that. John: Tom Brady could do that!
The name has to have a "ski" at the end of it and you just put "brewski" at the end of "Martina Navratilova," so...
Lori: Thirty-five years old and you're still scared of a little thunder. John: I am not!
Teddy: Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny? Johnny: Fucking right.
No, I can't do that. That would devastate him. Besides, what if he chose Ted?
Oh, this is work, I swear.
This is an incredible coincidence. But the hunter who mistakenly killed your father... Was Henry Pfaffenbach, my father.
And that is why I'm your marshal, and that is why you and you and you are riding with me! Am I right?
The future mode of transportation for this weary western world.
Etta: Do you know what you're doing? Cassidy: Theoretically.
That might have something to do with it.
The only way I can get this goddamned toup to stay on is by magnetizing the entire upper left quadrant of my skull.
Ed: Turn to the right! Hi: The day I'll never forget. Ed: Turn to the right!
Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?
But there's a spirit of camaraderie that exists between the men like you'd find only in combat, maybe.
Kid: Hey, Butch? Cassidy: What? Kid: They're very good.
The Kid: You sure this'll work? Cassidy: It'll work. The Kid: That's what you said about Sweetface. Cassidy: This'll work.
There's somethin' out there that scares you, huh?
Tell him I think he's a damn fool, Ed. You tell him I said so, H.I. McDunnough.
Butch: Aw, you're wasting your time. They can't track us over rock. Kid: Tell them that.
They're beginning to get on my nerves.
I'm glad you brought that up, Kid. That's an important topic, considering our situation.
That's a load off my mind.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. And for once, they may be right.
Hi: Then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear. Parole Board Chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that? Hi: Yes, sir.
Cassidy: They'll never follow us. Kid: How do you know? Cassidy: Would you make a jump like that you didn't have to? Kid: I have to and I'm not gonna.
Her point was that there was too much love and beauty for just the two of us.
That's me on the high school diving team.
Yeah, the guy with the bear. But I'm talking about a mature relationship, Lori.
Well they-they started crying. They were all over me. It was kind of horrifying, honey.
John: That's not how I remember it. Lori: Okay, how do you remember it?
You know, Lori, someday, there's going to be a ring in there. But I want to wait until I get you something really special.
The ladies and I were just watching Jack and Jill.
This place is a wreck. Who are these girls?
There is a shit on my floor. In the corner, there is a shit!
There is a shit on my floor!
That's my buddy, Johnny. Not the lobster, the guy running it.
God, there are some fucked-up fish out there.
Lori: Oh, this is so gross! John: Don't tell me! I don't want to hear about it! Did you get it?
Lori: No, I didn't get it! John: Tell me when you get it!
Lori: This is the most disgusting thing ever! John: Don't! Get it away from me!
Ted, you mean everything to me, and so does Lori. I'm just trying to find a way to keep you both in my life.
Topper: Those are some long legs. Ramada: I just had them lengthened. Now they go all the way up.
Oh, yeah, that was a weird interview.
Etta: They said you were dead. The Kid: Don't make a big thing out of it.
To step up and change such a huge part of your life just to make your girlfriend happier.
Okay, all right, so that's where we'll draw the line.
The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles.
This might be the Atlantic City, New Jersey, of all Bolivia for all you know.
"This is a robbery." Esto es un robo.
Etta: That's very good, Butch. Cassidy: You're a good teacher, Etta.
Cassidy: ¡Manos arriba! The Kid: They got 'em up! Skip on down! Cassidy: ¡Arriba! The Kid: Skip on down!
Kid: They're against the wall already!
Two yoke of oxen and a big yellow dog. Tall Shanghai rooster and one spotted hog.
Toodle dang hoodie di do doodle dang hoodie ay toodle dang hoodie di do doodle dang hoodie ay
See, that's why I watch these things. That's like a cool behind-the-scenes thing that you wouldn't know.
That's what happens when you live 10 years alone in Bolivia. You get colorful.
Ted: Thank you for creeping up my night. And Jesus be with you... Donny: Okay.
Tami Lynn: Who was that guy? Ted: That was Sinead O'Connor. She don't look so good no more.
How great is this? The four of us out to dinner. How long have we been saying we were going to. Lori, how you doing? I haven't talked to you in forever.
The company's having their 20th anniversary party next week. So, that's something.
The specialty of the house, and it's still movin'.
Kid: I'll go. Cassidy: This is no time for bravery. I'll let ya!
That is the whitest white part of the eye I've ever seen.
That flying stunt was pure madness.
There's a delicate corneal inversion procedure-- multioptipupiloptomy. But in order to keep from damaging the eye sockets, they've got to go in through the rectum. Ain't no man gonna take that route with me.
This should be a good match. Both men work for Don King.
There was a meltdown at the plant, so they gave me the afternoon off.
Then I must help you, my friend. Think well of me.
Don't tell me, There were two crabs. They work in pairs.
Look at these pecs. These are man pecs.
Look at the hair on my upper lip. That's man hair.
I just farted. That was a man fart.
This is Wade Boggs' autographed bat. I just barely outbid Phil Donahue for that at auction.
These boxing gloves were worn by Joe Louis in his first fight.
These were John Lennon's glasses. They're worth, like, a million dollars.
That's me and Tom Skerritt.
They played me like a two-bit piccolo.
Those are my socks!
This is one man to another. I don't really know you, but I'm trusting you, as a man. This is serious.
Sam J. Jones: How you doing? Good to meet you. John: I thank you for saving every one of us.
This is how everybody sang in the '90s.
Ted: Trust me, I can do this. Party goer: Shut up.
Turns out I'm gay, or whatever. I had no idea.
That guy from your office is in there on the couch making out with that Van Wilder-looking guy.
This is the first time that you've been single in all the years you've worked here.
Lori, the worst that can happen is that you go on a fun, casual date with a guy who just wants a chance to prove that he can be something more than a jerk.
They were going to the Hatch Shell.
That's your choice, John. And by blaming me, you, you're just making yourself look like a pussy.
This song always reminds me of the most important night of my life. The night we met. This is the theme song from the movie Octopussy.
Ted, that's a really nice offer, but I don't want you to do that.
Teddy: That's a nice fucking example you're setting. Donny: Language! Sorry. Sorry.
Hello, 911? I need the police right away. This guy took my teddy bear.
Hey, Johnny! Total T.J. Hooker, right?
You just gotta tell me how you got this little angel? What, did he fly straight down from heaven?
Ted and Tami-Lynn continued their torrid love affair for quite some time.
One afternoon, Ted was caught behind the deli counter eating potato salad off of Tami-Lynn's bare bottom. He was instantly promoted to store manager.
Kid: That's your great idea? Cassidy: Oh boy. The latest in a long line. Kid: Australia's no better than here.
Cassidy: Aw, that's all you know. Kid: Name me one thing. Cassidy: They speak English in Australia. Kid: They do?
That's right, smart guy. So we wouldn't be foreigners.
They got horses in australia. And they got thousands of miles we could hide out in.
Kid: The banks or the women? Cassidy: Well, once you got one you got the other.
There are jobs aplenty, and land is cheap.
That's what they tell you anyway, because they're selling an image.
The L.A. Cops walk on water as they keep the city clean of crooks.
These badge of honor guys like to pretend, but being the real thing must be a thrill.
Karen, this is Sid Hudgens from Hush-Hush magazine.
Buzz: They call me Buzz. Bud: I don't give a rat's ass what they call you.
They're sitting in the dark, goofing on the Christmas tree.
I like it. I like it. "The Movie Premiere Pot Bust."
Well, that's a gratuity from hush-hush magazine. Buy yourself a new pair of loafers.
This is for ours, Pancho.
Officer White, you should know this is bigger than the police board. The grand jury's convening.
Loew: This man is a disgrace. Chief: Your badge and gun, officer. You're suspended from duty.
The department and the public need role models. Clean-cut, forthright men the public can admire.
Smith: The men hate a stool pigeon. Ed Exley: Jack Vincennes. He hit one of the Mexicans, and he saw the whole thing.
The grand jury will hear your testimony tomorrow.
There's no goddamn bill on me?
The department needs smart men like Exley and direct men like you.
Ah. Look at that. The great jerk-off case of 1953.
Vice Captain: There some place you'd rather be, Vincennes? Jack: Yeah. Working narcotics, looking for Mickey Cohen's missing "H."
Tracking porn. Arty, high-class stuff. What do you know about fleur-de-lis?
The guy at the register pulled a.38, so they killed him. Then they took everyone else out back and killed them, too.
"The Nite Owl Massacre." hyperbole aside, this is a heinous crime that requires swift resolution.
The people of Los Angeles demand it.
The ejection marks on the shells fired from the suspects' shotguns are identical to the marks on the shell casings found at the Nite Owl.
Said they called you Sugar 'cause you gave it out so sweet.
That was masterful, Edmund.
These people are all in the morgue. They were dead when you left them.
That's what the man got justice.
You pull this off, there'll be a part for you. I--I smell a comeback, don't you, Jack?
They'll be at the Hollywood center motel, room 203. Meet me there at midnight for a little photo shoot.
That prick Exley, he shot the wrong guys. Whoever killed Stensland is still around. I know it in here.
There's something wrong with the Nite Owl. I just can't prove it, that's all.
There's blood on the wall here. I thought everyone but the cook got shot in the men's room.
The Hallows exist......but he's only after one of them, the last one. He knows where it is.
That sword is meant to be in my vault at Gringotts. How did you get it?
There's no way out of here. We've tried everything. It's enchanted.
That's a curious thing to keep in your sock.
They are not my friends.
The flight plan I just filed with the agency... lists me, my men, Dr. Pavel here... but only one... of you!
Tell me about Bane! Why does he wear the mask?
That's a beautiful necklace. Reminds me of one that belonged to my mother.
The stomach of the week from a motel homicide. Unemployed actor. Had a frankfurter, french fries, alcohol, and sperm.