Next stop homeownership! I'm just kidding - the middle class is dying, you'll be renting forever.

Toronto is just like New York but without all the stuff!

"That when I connected the dots, is when everyone else found out."

Toasty!

"We cannot have a thriving Wall Street without a thriving Main Street. That in this country we rise and fall as one nation."

The Galaxy is at Peace

The Last Metroid is in Captivity

Thailand

"Touchdown!"

"Touchdown!"

Hurley:"How do you know how to do all that?" Sayid:"I was a military communications officer." Hurley:"Oh yeah? Ever see battle?" Sayid:"I fought in the Gulf war." Hurley:"No way! I got a buddy who fought over there. He was in the 104th Airbourne. What are you, Air Force? Army?" Sayid:"The Republican Guard."

Batman: "To the Batmobile! Let's go!" Robin: "Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed." Batman: "Ready to move out."

"I'm pleased to announce that this board will be chaired by one of the world's foremost economic policy experts. A former chairman of the federal reserve and one of my most trusted advisers Paul Rover."

"So, they scare me. I love a snake when the wrangler's in the room, then they're pretty and special."

"The most common interest among serial killers is pornography."

"Graphic violence onscreen, particularly as it gets into the home to children who might be unattended or unaware they may be a Ted Bundy who has that vulnerability."

"Each time I'd harm someone, each time I'd kill someone there'd be an enormous amount, especially at first, an enormous amount of horror or guilt remorse afterwards, but then that impulse to do it again would come back even stronger."

"I have known Hillary Clinton as a friend, a colleague, a source of counsel and a tough campaign opponent. She posses an extraordinary intelligence and a remarkable work ethic. I am proud that she will be our next Secretary of State."

"Thank you for this honor. If confirmed I will give this assignment, your administration and our country my all."

"I also want to thank my fellow New Yorkers who have for 8 years given me the joy of a job I love with the opportunity to work on issues I care about deeply in a state that I cherish."

"I have to knock Kanye West's album from the number 1 spot on iTunes and replace it with A Colbert Christmas: The greatest gift of all. This is war and I'm calling for a surge."

"Now personally I blame the geniuses of the national bureau of economic research who thought it would be a good idea to announce yesterday that we are now in a recession. Terrible move. Everyone knows that you keep bad news to yourself. Holding it deep inside until eventually it kills you."

"I have not been ranked so low since I entered that tween beauty pageant."

"And do your twitter blogging to each other and get it all together. Whatever you kids do. It's important."

Thank you for calling dial an asshole. All of our assholes are currently assisting other assholes. Please leave your name and number at the beep and the first available asshole will get back to you. Have a shitty day.

"Time is very precious to me. I don't know how much I have left, and I have some things that I would like to say. Hopefully, at the end, I'll have something that will be important to other people too."

"Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought."

"Where you started; where you are; and where you're gonna be. Those are the three things that I try and do every day. And you know when I think about getting up and giving a speech, I can't help it -- I have to remember the first speech I ever gave."

"I said, that's beautiful. I'm going to do that. Your family, your religion, and Rutgers basketball. That's it. I had it."

"I will thank God for the day and the moment I have. And if you see me, smile and maybe give me a hug. That's important to me too."

"I can't thank ESPN enough for allowing this to happen. And I'm going to work as hard as I can...for cancer research and hopefully, maybe, we'll have some cures and some breakthroughs."

"Well it took me many years for us to get over pretty bad stage fright. I would get so upset before I went on that I almost missed or almost messed up the first song, first two songs."

"The plan shows why GM needs temporary government funding, how that funding will be used how we intend to repay tax payers and why funding is beneficial to the US government."

"We're here because the financial crisis that started in 2007 and accelerated at the end of the second quarter in 2008. As consumer confidence fell and credit markets remained frozen, the lowest US auto sales in more than 20 years has put tremendous pressure on our cash position."

"It used to be that we had too many suppliers and dealers. Now we are putting in place the right structure to maximize the efficiency and profitability of all of our partners."

"The newspaper and the tabloids are still their cover stories that O.J. did it even though there was no porn video. Even though I didn't participate. I forgave Mike, I yelled at him."

"I didn't ask anybody to do anything but to stand by me, allow me to yell at these guys and then help me remove those things. And if they wouldn't let me remove them, we would call the cops on them. Cause I felt that they were, they were wrong."

"But all the other guys except Mr. Stewart volunteered, they wanted to go. Mr. Stewart is the only person that I asked would he come to help me. All the rest of them, when they found out, they volunteered, come on, let us go. One of them wanted to be the security guy, claimed he was a security guy."

"Unbelievable valor from that man right there, Joey Chestnut. He may indeed have changed the course of this nation, righted the course of our nation. Chestnut is a true American Hero."

"The Eagle has landed."

"Let me assert my firm belief, that the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"

"I believe that this nation should commit itself, to achieving the goal before this decade is out of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to earth."

"The world will note that the first atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, a military base. We won the race of discovery against the Germans. We have used it in order to shorten the agony of war. In order to save the lifes of thousands and thousands of young Americans. We shall continue to use it until we completely ...

Dave: "Mess." Daughter: "What?" Dave: "This is a mess."

Daughter: "You're not gonna stop are you?" Dave: "I'll be fine." Daughter: "Tell me you're gonna stop." Dave: "I'll be fine." Daughter: "Tell me you're gonna stop."

"Pssssssssshhh. The Double Deuce!"

"Everyone is different. No two people aren't on fire. Awwww."

What we'll do. I'll run in first and gather up all the eggs, and we can just blast 'em all down.

"Traitors are not gentlemen, they don't understand being treated like gentlemen."

Snorlax Gangster 1: "Get the fuck out of here there's no dragons!" Snorlax Gangster 2: "That ain't no pokemon!" Snorlax Gangster 1: "That's no pokemon, that's a fucking, that's a chinese myth dragon!"

Snorlax Gangster 1: "Pikachu!" Snorlax Gangster 2: "Two pikachus?!" Snorlax Gangster 1: "No, the left one's pikachu, dick." Snorlax Gangster 2: "Bullshit, they're both pikachu." Snorlax Gangster 1: "They're not both pikachu."

Strong Bad: "Are you sick and tired of playing second fiddle to a two-bit wrestle man and his yellow dog? Or you ready to fight along side your Col-o-nel and give your five bucks to the Homestarmy if it comes to that? Do you want to paint that fence some other cool color and put a fake beard on that tire?" Strongsad...

"And the other way is to take a really cool word, but then spell it all wrong you know like Big Knife or something like Tarantula."

"I got mad a the Cheat for screwing up the Jungle paper. The Cheat is not dead."

"Too much of a good thing is an awesome thing."

"So I guess you guys are just going to have to learn how to speak the Cheat. I know a little myself…I don't know what any of that means but it really seems to tick the Cheat off when I say it to him, so I say it to him all the time."

"Now he needs a name, how about Trogdor, the burninator. Oh yeah, check out all his majesty."

"Trogdor strikes again."

"Burninating the Peasants."

"We need to apply a little double space action…err, ah, maybe a little triple space action."

"I'm gonna play some temple of Abshai, forget you guys…oh, my hit points are like inexcusable in this dungeon man, I need to find some elixir or something."

"For behold, the 386. A spectacle of graphics and sound."

"What do I think of the English, huh? I'll tell you what I think about the English."

"Yeah, that's great, go ahead and save that one. So I can treasure it for years and years and show it to my kids."

Coach Z: "Oh I'd just say it's a result of tight pants." Homestar Runner: "Ohhh, tight pants."

"Once again, I point the blame squarely at tight pants."

"I can guarantee you man, I am not a tape leg. I mean look at this leg. Wait a minute, what's that on my leg. Ohh, there's a little piece of tape on my shoe. That’s' what they were probably talking about."

"Oh, and incidentally, I highly recommend Two Cars, Tennessee. Its got a real happening arts and crafts scene."

"Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.'"

"Time Life Books presents mysteries of the unknown…"

"I got a snake man. One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that! It was all fucked up!"

"Awwww MAN!" "Hey man, you pissed in your pants" "I know" "So did I" "I guess that makes us piss pals"

"Mop, mop, mop All day long Mop, mop, mop While I sing this song Gonna wax the floor Gonna make it shine Gonna take of the spray paint With turpentine…"

"That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head."

"Uhh, young man. Can I help you? Can I see your bus pass, please? Sir, please! I drive with that hand!"

"Zinc is by far the best element. I also like plutonium. It's just fun to say. Plutonium."

Cheerleader: "I paid for my pom-poms with my own money." Guy: "You suck!" Cheerleader: "Owwww! Who threw that!? I'm gonna get a bruise now! I hate my school!"

"Hola. Senor? Hay problema? Mi casa es su casa. Ayuda! Ayudame! Ayudame! Bibliotecha!"

"Welcome to Worcester. Dollar twenty-five please."

"Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin' lush! It's not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin' douche bag!"

"Fuck you, you fuckin' upity bitch! I'll fuckin' fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin' mothers! You're gonna die, bitch! I'm comin' outta the booth!"

Buffoon: "My neighbor's dog has a four inch clit!" Samantha: "Oh Buffoon, you're the coolest. I love you..."

"You ain't gonna get no pussy 'til the Bills win the Super Bowl."

"Three blind mice, see how they run. Where the fuck are they goin?"

"Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are. Shine upon the parking lot as I eat my girlfriend's twat, oh!"

"Washington, Washington. twelve stories high, made of radiation. The present beware. The future beware. He's coming, He's coming, He's coming!"